abeltownshipslittlebitch - Tumblr blog

[abeltownshipslittlebitch]

Amelia: I’m not like most girls.

Amelia: I’m worse.

@dorkylittleweirdo

[abeltownshipslittlebitch]

Tom: *accidentally brushes Five’s hand with his own*

Five:

Five: *aggressively holds Tom’s hand*

Five, to Tom under her breath: Fucking commit to it.

@dorkylittleweirdo

[abeltownshipslittlebitch]

Simon: I made a mistake. Now are you going to help me fix it or are you going to continue to berate me?

Five: I am perfectly capable of doing both simultaneously!

@dorkylittleweirdo

[abeltownshipslittlebitch]

This was my Five talking about Tom De Luca.

[abeltownshipslittlebitch]

Peter: Sometimes I feel like I’m just some portable chair.

Five, sitting in Peter’s lap: Really? Why?

@dorkylittleweirdo

[abeltownshipslittlebitch]

Peter: *sneezes*

Five: Peter, are you sick? Here, let me wrap you in a blanket and hand-feed you some warm soup while singing you a lullaby!

Frances: *sneezes*

Five: Oh my word can you shut the fuck up?

[abeltownshipslittlebitch]

Five: Would you die for me, Peter?

Peter: i would die just because i feel like it but you are literally the only reason i am still alive.

Five: *smiling, heart eyes, internal screaming, publishes 150k+ words fanfiction of friends to lovers on Rofflenet*

@dorkylittleweirdo

[abeltownshipslittlebitch]

Five: Don’t use a pickup line on me. I’d rather be pinned down than picked up.

Peter: *chokes on his tea*

@dorkylittleweirdo

[abeltownshipslittlebitch]

Five, half asleep because she was woken up in the middle of the night for an emergency run: Stop looking at me like that.

Peter, confused: Like what?

Five: Like you’re the absolute love of my life and the object of all my desires and I’d do anything for you.

Peter:

Five:

Peter:

Five: Oh, I actually said all of that out loud didn’t I?

@dorkylittleweirdo

[abeltownshipslittlebitch]

Tom: *is sleeping*

Sam: What’s that thing in his hand?

Five: Oh, that’s his emotional support knife for when he’s sleeping.

Sam: HIS WHAT?!

Five: Shhh! Don't worry, he always sleeps with the knife sleeve on so he's safe.

Sam: *is now both concerned and terrified*

@dorkylittleweirdo

[abeltownshipslittlebitch]

Simon: Hey Maxine, do you support gay rights?

Maxine: I am gay.

Five: SHES AVOIDING THE QUESTION!!!

@dorkylittleweirdo

[abeltownshipslittlebitch]

Five: What do you want to be for Halloween?

Peter: Happy

@dorkylittleweirdo

[abeltownshipslittlebitch]

Simon: You know, I’m jealous of you.

Five: What? Why?

Simon: Your partner is way hotter than mine.

Simon: *walks away*

Five:

Five: YOU ASSHOLE! WERE DATING! GET BACK HERE!

@dorkylittleweirdo

[abeltownshipslittlebitch]

Five: And this beautiful woman here is my wife, Jody.

Sam: I know. You’ve been telling me for the past five years.

@catsoutofthebags

[abeltownshipslittlebitch]

Tom: Not unhinged anymore. I’m calm now.

Tom, two hours later after Five came to him upset: Never mind. I deserve to go on a rampage.

@dorkylittleweirdo

[abeltownshipslittlebitch]

Five, to every ZR villain: You only hate me because I keep screwing up your plans and will continue to do so. And I’ll somehow manage to evade every single attempt you make to kill me. Get over yourself.

[abeltownshipslittlebitch]

Five when she snaps and kills a bunch of people: Actually I did use girl power when I committed those murders. It’s called girl power not girl ethics or girl morals.

@dorkylittleweirdo