againwthevampirebllsht

[againwthevampirebllsht]

january 17th 2024

bruh. classes just started and im already overwhelmed. even tho i think this is gonna be an easier semester than last year i still think a couple classes r gonna give me hell.

my ww1 history class has a fuck ton of reading which is expected cuz like duh its a history class but i also had gotten so lucky with my history classes before being mostly lecture based instead of reading so itll be something to get used to again.

my other 2 history classes havent met yet so idk what to expect from them just yet but hopefully its manageable..

i met with my two studio classes today and im rlly excited for them. i think my painting class is gonna b a lot easier than my drawing class but thats fine. i almost wish it was the other way around because im more into painting but its fine im kinda excited to try new stuff and a class doesnt have to make me want to kill myself in order for me to create good work

but theres also something ab the culture of art school that feels like a competition of who can run themselves into the ground for the sake of their work more. whoever kills their mental health more for the sake of art wins

both of the art classes are more abstract based which will also be new and im both nervous and excited for that cuz thats not really a direction ive gone before. in drawing we did an exercise that was like a game of telephone where we took a drawing of ours we did before and then made a drawing based on that and then one based on that one and so on and so fourth,.. im weirdly happy with the results!

in about a week me n my friends r gonna have a galentines which im rlly hyped for, hopefully all goes to plan even tho with my track record that stuff usually doesnt but one can dream (ill definitely have a breakdown if people start canceling last min)(i already feel like i dont have friends and that will only fuel the fire) and like i obviously do have friends?? just not a friend group??? its only like 5 ppl im close to individually and then a bunch of like we hang out at parties friends so idk im in a weird spot rn...

anyway! i think thats all the life updates for now, ill try to be more frequent with posts cuz future me will thank me

[againwthevampirebllsht]

january 2nd 2024

welcome! to my first tumblr post since 2016! its been a hot min...

a little bit about me !

got the sudden urge to start an online diary, i missed being able to just rant and post something without worrying about wtf ppl i know think (the feminine urge to have an anonymous online presence) and also wanted to be able to just rant and talk myself though things and look back on stuff later (aka just a diary but i can type way faster than i can handwrite bullshit out)

(currently) 20 and in my second year of university, going for a bfa in painting and a double major in history (i love every second but god its killing me)

im rlly into punk/emo/alt/rock music, will def be posting recs that nobody will ever look at but itll make me feel better to scream into the void about it

also! rlly into fantasy novels (not in an acotar way but in a blood and war and politics way)(tho dont get me wrong i LOVE a good fantasy romance but it must be done right)

i absolutely love art! trying to get more comfortable with the idea of calling myself an artist (duh bitch ur literally an art major ofc ur an artist) (the art school imposter syndrome is so real) its hard to feel like ive crossed the line from a kid trying to imitate and act like shes an artist into someone who actually is an artist and does that shit seriously (but thats a whole can of worms for a new post entirely)

(i guess i also fucking love to over use parenthesis too?)(you learn something new about yourself everyday)

most of my art is centered around themes of nostalgia and the passage of time and other bittersweet feelings like that (when does normalcy become nostalgia?) (<- as a guiding question for my work) sometimes its about things as simple as physical changes, preference changes, or evolution (in abstract terms) or other times the ideas get more complex but im horrible at explaining it in actual words instead of trying to communicate it just through the painting itself and feelings (need to get better at that)

and yeah! thats about all I can think about rn..