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i like it when pit bulls do this
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I’M SORRY??????? WHAT THE FUCK??????
I can’t tell if this is AI, really good photoshop, or if we will actually be getting John Cena in a schoolgirl outfit in the near future.
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Elliot watching me catch three times my body weight in fish because I spent all my money on that season’s seeds and now I need to make fast fishing money so me and my chickens don’t starve to death.
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Elliot watching me catch three times my body weight in fish because I spent all my money on that season’s seeds and now I need to make fast fishing money so me and my chickens don’t starve to death.
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My mom and dad went on an anniversary camping trip recently. Of course, as you do, they got s’more supplies. Graham crackers, chocolate…and campfire marshmallows.
These marshmallows are the sugary equivalent of breeding Great Danes. Even though there are much smaller, healthier breeds, mankind insists on making things as big and unwieldy as possible.
The good folks at whichever blood diamond mining food company makes marshmallows already had the fuckin’ Golden Ratio. Graham crackers that were JUST big enough to overlap the chocolate and marshmallow, while also being perfectly balanced in case you didn’t have a bougie bonfire and decided to nuke the treat in the microwave. This would, of course, keep the top graham cracker from falling off and nosediving into a marshmallowy, chocolatey mess. They even sell specific brands together to maximize comfort, as if they were specifically made for each other!
But oh, Doumak Inc., you flew too close to the sun - the wings of your prestige held together by only the saccharine Kardashian breast implants that you call marshmallows and the heat coming from not the sun but my microwave (who knows not what it did).
Not only did my graham cracker fall off almost immediately in the ten seconds my s’more was in the microwave, but the marshmallow leeched onto the plate, who may never be clean again.
I was still optimistic - what a fool I was - and sifted to find the corner of the bottom graham cracker in the scalding, sludgy pile of regret. It was like lifting the side of a goose hoping to find a golden egg.
What I found instead was a graham cracker damp with both shame and condensation, barely able to keep itself together long enough to lift the abomination of my own making to my lips.
I now know what the world, naked and new, felt like when God commanded there to be light. The darkness of my mouth was now flooded with marshmallow, filling my cheeks and assaulting my tongue with the bitter sweetness of a lover long left at the airport gate.
I had to finish it.
I had to destroy what I created.
I couldn’t allow this…thing to exist longer than necessary. I needed to put it out of its misery.
And I did.
I filled my stomach with the consequences of my hubris, leaving no trace left behind.
But, in the back of my mind, I heard a small voice - one that begged for something like the monster did to Frankenstein.
Another.
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When someone gives the advice of “don’t be afraid to disappoint your parents” they don’t just mean taking music theory in college or starting a YouTube channel.
It also means wearing things they might not approve of. Using accommodations that they might not think you need. Not falling for their guilt trips. Eating when you’re hungry, not when it suits them and their idea of your weight or health. Making your own friends instead of seeking the stamp of approval from them.
Of course, some parents are stricter than others, and some use abuse to keep you from expressing yourself. But do what you can, even if it seems small.
Otherwise, when your parents are no longer in the picture, you’ll try to find it somewhere else to get validation. A strict boss, an abusive partner, a selfish friend.
Going against your parent’s wishes is developmentally healthy. Not doing so stunts your independence and self-regulation. You shouldn’t be living to constantly please others, even the people who love you.
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All my US homies, I need your help, because I think I’m either going insane or I’m super stupid.
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Lemony Snicket - core
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Maybe I’m looking too much into it (or it’s obvious), but you notice how, before Angel leaves to see Valentino, he grabs a pair of big, pink glasses?
It might be because he wants to conceal his identity as a famous porn star…
Or maybe it’s because he knew that Val would rough him up, but he didn’t want the cover-up to be too obvious. He didn’t want anyone to ask why he was suddenly wearing glasses or covering his face, and reveal a black eye. So he had these big glasses as a fallback.
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A shapeshifter who not only asks if their partner would love them if they were a worm, but turns into one until they feel properly loved and validated.
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“I Need A Hero”, but instead of a woman looking for someone to save her, she needs a strong man because she’s in an adventurer’s guild and she needs someone who can keep up with her.
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I can’t find the fucking post but it’s someone having a conversation with an inner Gordon Ramsey and they fuck up their food and instead of giving them shit, their hypothetical Gordon says that the reason that he yells at people on the show is because they are trying to pass of shit food to the public, so he couldn’t care less about a guy in his twenties fucking up ramen or something.
And it reminded me that, when my anxiety was really bad and I was unmedicated, I would literally envision Gordon judging the way I made my bed (a lá Hotel Hell), or if I was making frozen chicken nuggets or whatever. I was literally so anxious and guilt-ridden that I projected my feelings onto a guy who has ZERO idea I exist and has been shown to be very kind to people, even if they have messed up in the past.
Now that I am on Lexipro, my inner Gordon Ramsey is a lot kinder (more like a Junior Master Chef persona), and far less judgmental. I’m not almost killing anyone by putting raw shrimp next to cooked chicken, I’m just trying to do better every day and taking shortcuts when I need to.
And sometimes that includes making frozen chicken nuggets.
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youtube
There was a video called “‘Poison’ But It’s Honest”, and it had the absolute worst takes I’ve ever seen in my life (and the worst meter I’ve ever heard).
Now, I’m not going up to bat for Vivzie or anything. It’s more about how people want more complex story telling until it gets uncomfortable or unfamiliar, and then they claim it’s a fetish, or that it’s offensive.
Warning, I’m not a singer or an editor, just an English student with a love for cartoons and a hate for a lack of reading comprehension (who also happened to have a hyperfixation on making song parodies when they were younger).
Enjoy! Or don’t, I’m not your mom.
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It’s so hard to be silent.
That uncomfortable silence when you know that what someone is saying is wrong.
You know that they are ignorant, and you know you don’t want an argument.
This isn’t about being right.
It’s about another drop of bigotry falling into the ocean of hatred, and you just can’t take it anymore.
You wish that everyone had the time, had the motivation, had the empathy to know what you do. Or that they would listen if they told you.
But it isn’t polite.
So you say nothing.
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Oh, batshit ads, how I’ve missed you.
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Some INFO for some of the comments:
1. 1F? But there are five of you?
I meant 1F besides myself. I admit, that was formatted oddly. In all, there’s 3M and 2F, including me.
2. Where’s Scrappy? Is he the 1F?
We don’t talk about Scrappy. But, as far as I know, he was a boy dog.
3. D does have skills! They’re just very specific!
That is true. Earlier in our business, all she was good for was getting hurt and finding ways to get lost in the places we worked in. But, lately, she’s gotten us out of some scrapes, like creating a car battery with a few triple A’s, a water bottle, and some hair pins. I guess I more meant that I get the…boring parts of it all? I like research, don’t get me wrong, and I love the final reveal. But I feel like I get most of it, but only 1/5 of the credit. If I could scrape by making a zip line out of a hair dryer cord, I would.
4. Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?
I actually tried a snack once, to see why A and B were so obsessed with them. They’re like a less dense fudge, or perhaps a rich brownie? A few flavors are atrocious, but most are passable, even tasty. I’ve found that freezing them gives them a nice freeze-dried ice cream texture.
But would I risk my dignity and work-life balance for one? Or even an entire box?
No.
WIBTA if I told my friends in our small business that they need to do more?
🔎<- to find later
My (17F) and my friends (17-19, 3M, 1F) have a small business that we have run together for a while. We’ve thought about it since we were kids, and we were finally able to when one of my friends got his own car and a license.
What we do requires a lot of travel, so we’re on the road pretty much any time we aren’t in school. I usually find and research jobs, and the friend with the car drives us there. We travel on the weekend/vacation, or, if it’s close, we go there after school.
I wouldn’t trade this for the world — I love what we do, I love learning about new places, and I love being with my friends. But there a few problems.
Two of my male friends, A and B, hardly do anything, especially A. He always whines about wanting to go home, the kind of jobs we take, when we eat, etc. B doesn’t complain nearly as much, but always takes A’s side. And both of them need to be pleaded and negotiated with to do any sort of task.
They are both also HUGE stoners. They hide their stash pretty well, and I’ve never seen them smoking/eating any, but I can always smell it on them, and they are always high as a kite whenever we take a job. I’ve caught them taking food from client’s refrigerators, hiding in places when their paranoia gets bad, and generally just trying to get out of work any way they can.
C, my friend with the car, also does most of the work with me. However, he always uses the most complicated way of doing a job, usually wasting materials and time that could be used elsewhere.
C is also our de facto leader, so he always tells us where to go and what to do when we get to a job. This wouldn’t be an issue, except he always puts himself closest to D, who he has an on again off again relationship with. D also doesn’t do a whole lot — not that she isn’t willing to, but she just doesn’t have a whole lot of skills like C and I do.
This also means that I’m the one usually paired with A and B, which means pretty much babysitting them until we’re finished.
In a nutshell, I feel like I’m doing most of the work here. I find the jobs, do a lot of the planning, and figure out a lot of the problems we face. It’s not only exhausting, but also very frustrated to never be given recognition for picking up everyone’s slack.
But they’re also my friends, and I don’t want to make things awkward or make them upset. However, I can’t keep up with this workload, especially with the little funds we have.
Am I the AH for wanting them to do a little more for the business we made? I just can’t keep solving all these mysteries by myself.
What are these acronyms?
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Okay, there’s an old childhood game that I cannot find for the life of me…
You play as a little cartoon astronaut, and you get to decorate your little place on the base, I’m pretty sure?
And you travel to different places, and each place has a different manners/ettiquette/generally treating people with respect scenario that you need to pick the right solution for in order to move forward.
One that I remember is two astronaut kids playing with a ball, and a “mean” character (who shows up a lot and is sort of an anti version of you) is making fun of them. The right answer to this scenario is, of course, to ignore them. In the end the mean character becomes your friend.
I used to play it over and over and over again, which is why I’m able to remember some parts of it. It had a really simple art style, and it was generally very low-stakes and cutesy.
I also have autism, so it may have been something the teachers had me play at some point to help with my social skills?
Anybody have any idea what I mean?
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