ailelie - Tumblr blog

[ailelie]

Post corrections/clarifications are my favorite genre of humor: a compilation

[ailelie]

Did not expect Apollo to be recruiting oracles at Walgreens.

[ailelie]

Oliver Stark about the negativity concerning Buck's bisexuality

[ailelie]

My friend explained the spoon theory to our DM and he was like “ohhh so it’s like when you’re out of spell slots and you need to take a long rest to regain them all” and now I keep thinking of myself as being out of spell slots instead of out of spoons

[ailelie]

In Defense of Shitty Queer Art

Queer art has a long history of being censored and sidelined. In 1895, Oscar Wilde’s novel The Picture of Dorian Gray was used as evidence in the author’s sodomy trials. From the 1930s to the 1960s, the American Hays Code prohibited depictions of queerness in film, defining it as “sex perversion.” In 2020, the book Steven Universe: End of an Era by Chris McDonnell confirmed that Rebecca Sugar’s insistence on including a sapphic wedding in the show is what triggered its cancellation by Cartoon Network. According to the American Library Association, of the top ten most challenged books in 2023, seven were targeted for their queer content. Across time, place, and medium, queer art has been ruthlessly targeted by censors and protesters, and at times it seems there might be no end in sight.

So why, then, are queer spaces so viciously critical of queer art?

Name any piece of moderately-well-known queer media, and you can find immense, vitriolic discourse surrounding it. Audiences debate whether queer media is good representation, bad representation, or whether it’s otherwise too problematic to engage with. Artists are picked apart under a microscope to make sure their morals are pure enough and their identities queer enough. Every minor fault—real or perceived—is compiled in discourse dossiers and spread around online. Lines are drawn, and callout posts are made against those who get too close to “problematic art.”

Modern examples abound, such as the TV show Steven Universe, the video game Dream Daddy, or the webcomic Boyfriends, but it’s far from a new phenomenon. In his book Hi Honey, I’m Homo!, queer pop culture analyst Matt Baume writes about an example from the 1970s, where the ABC sitcom titled Soap was protested by homophobes and queer audiences alike—before a single episode of the show ever aired. Audiences didn’t wait to actually watch the show before passing judgment and writing protest letters.

After so many years starved for positive representation, it’s understandable for queer audiences to crave depictions where we’re treated well. It’s exhausting to only ever see the same tired gay tropes and subtext, and queer audiences deserve more. Yet the way to more, better, varied representation is not to insist on perfection. The pursuit of perfection is poison in art, and it’s no different when that art happens to be queer.

When the pool of queer art is so limited, it feels horrible when a piece of queer art doesn’t live up to expectations. Even if the representation is technically good, it’s disappointing to get excited for a queer story only for that story to underwhelm and frustrate you.

But the world needs that disappointing art. It needs mediocre art. It even needs the bad art. The world needs to reach a point where queer artists can fearlessly make a mess, because if queer artists can only strive for perfection, the less art they can make. They may eventually produce a masterpiece, but a single masterpiece is still a drop in the bucket compared to the oceans of censorship. The only way to drown out bigotry and offensive stereotypes created by bigots is to allow queer artists the ability to experiment, learn through making mistakes, and represent their queer truth even if it clashes with someone else’s.

If queer artists aren’t allowed to make garbage, we can never make those masterpieces everyone craves. If queer artists are terrified at all times that their art will be targeted both by bigots and their own queer communities, queer art cannot thrive.

Let queer artists make shitty art. Let allies to queer people try their hand at representation, even if they miss the mark. Let queer art be messy, and let the artists screw up without fear of overblown retribution.

It’s the only way we’ll ever get more queer art.

_

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[ailelie]

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”

“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Climb aboard, then!” But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown. “Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.” 

“I can’t help it,” said the scorpion. “It’s my nature.”

___

…But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the frog felt a subtle motion on its back, and in a panic dived deep beneath the rushing waters, leaving the scorpion to drown.

“It was going to sting me anyway,” muttered the frog, emerging on the other side of the river. “It was inevitable. You all knew it. Everyone knows what those scorpions are like. It was self-defense.”

___

…But no sooner had they cast off from the bank, the frog felt the tip of a stinger pressed lightly against the back of its neck. “What do you think you’re doing?” said the frog.

“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”

They swam in silence to the other end of the river, where the scorpion climbed off, leaving the frog fuming.

“After the kindness I showed you!” said the frog. “And you threatened to kill me in return?”

“Kindness?” said the scorpion. “To only invite me on your back after you knew I was defenseless, unable to use my tail without killing myself? My dear frog, I only treated you as I was treated. Your kindness was as poisoned as a scorpion’s sting.”

___

…“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”

“You have a point,” the frog acknowledged. “But once we get to dry land, couldn’t you sting me then without repercussion?”

“All I want is to cross the river safely,” said the scorpion. “Once I’m on the other side I would gladly let you be.”

“But I would have to trust you on that,” said the frog. “While you’re pressing a stinger to my neck. By ferrying you to land I’d be be giving up the one deterrent I hold over you.”

“But by the same logic, I can’t possibly withdraw my stinger while we’re still over water,” the scorpion protested.

The frog paused in the middle of the river, treading water. “So, I suppose we’re at an impasse.”

The river rushed around them. The scorpion’s stinger twitched against the frog’s unbroken skin. “I suppose so,” the scorpion said.

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Absolutely not!” said the frog, and dived beneath the waters, and so none of them learned anything.

___

A scorpion, being unable to swim, asked a turtle (as in the original Persian version of the fable) to carry it across the river. The turtle readily agreed, and allowed the scorpion aboard its shell. Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell. The turtle, swimming placidly, failed to notice.

They reached the other side of the river, and parted ways as friends.

___

…Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell.

The turtle, hearing the tap of the scorpion’s sting, was offended at the scorpion’s ungratefulness. Thankfully, having been granted the powers to both defend itself and to punish evil, the turtle sank beneath the waters and drowned the scorpion out of principle.

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” sneered the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back.”

The scorpion pleaded earnestly. “Do you think so little of me? Please, I must cross the river. What would I gain from stinging you? I would only end up drowning myself!”

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Even a scorpion knows to look out for its own skin. Climb aboard, then!”

But as they forged through the rushing waters, the scorpion grew worried. This frog thinks me a ruthless killer, it thought. Would it not be justified in throwing me off now and ridding the world of me? Why else would it agree to this? Every jostle made the scorpion more and more anxious, until the frog surged forward with a particularly large splash, and in panic the scorpion lashed out with its stinger.

“I knew it,” snarled the frog, as they both thrashed and drowned. “A scorpion cannot change its nature.”

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. The frog agreed, but no sooner than they were halfway across the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown.

“I’ve only myself to blame,” sighed the frog, as they both sank beneath the waters. “You, you’re a scorpion, I couldn’t have expected anything better. But I knew better, and yet I went against my judgement! And now I’ve doomed us both!”

“You couldn’t help it,” said the scorpion mildly. “It’s your nature.” 

___

…“Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.”

“Alas, I was of two natures,” said the scorpion. “One said to gratefully ride your back across the river, and the other said to sting you where you stood. And so both fought, and neither won.” It smiled wistfully. “Ah, it would be nice to be just one thing, wouldn’t it? Unadulterated in nature. Without the capacity for conflict or regret.”

___

“By the way,” said the frog, as they swam, “I’ve been meaning to ask: What’s on the other side of the river?”

“It’s the journey,” said the scorpion. “Not the destination.”

___

…“What’s on the other side of anything?” said the scorpion. “A new beginning.”

___

…”Another scorpion to mate with,” said the scorpion. “And more prey to kill, and more living bodies to poison, and a forthcoming lineage of cruelties that you will be culpable in.”

___

…”Nothing we will live to see, I fear,” said the scorpion. “Already the currents are growing stronger, and the river seems like it shall swallow us both. We surge forward, and the shoreline recedes. But does that mean our striving was in vain?”

___

“I love you,” said the scorpion.

The frog glanced upward. “Do you?”

“Absolutely. Can you imagine the fear of drowning? Of course not. You’re a frog. Might as well be scared of breathing air. And yet here I am, clinging to your back, as the waters rage around us. Isn’t that love? Isn’t that trust? Isn’t that necessity? I could not kill you without killing myself. Are we not inseparable in this?”

The frog swam on, the both of them silent.

___

“I’m so tired,” murmured the frog eventually. “How much further to the other side? I don’t know how long we’ve been swimming. I’ve been treading water. And it’s getting so very dark.”

“Shh,” the scorpion said. “Don’t be afraid.”

The frog’s legs kicked out weakly. “How long has it been? We’re lost. We’re lost! We’re doomed to be cast about the waters forever. There is no land. There’s nothing on the other side, don’t you see!”

“Shh, shh,” said the scorpion. “My venom is a hallucinogenic. Beneath its surface, the river is endlessly deep, its currents carrying many things.” 

“You - You’ve killed us both,” said the frog, and began to laugh deliriously. “Is this - is this what it’s like to drown?” 

“We’ve killed each other,” said the scorpion soothingly. “My venom in my glands now pulsing through your veins, the waters of your birthing pool suffusing my lungs. We are engulfing each other now, drowning in each other. I am breathless. Do you feel it? Do you feel my sting pierced through your heart?”

“What a foolish thing to do,” murmured the frog. “No logic. No logic to it at all.”

“We couldn’t help it,” whispered the scorpion. “It’s our natures. Why else does anything in the world happen? Because we were made for this from birth, darling, every moment inexplicable and inevitable. What a crazy thing it is to fall in love, and yet - It’s all our fault! We are both blameless. We’re together now, darling. It couldn’t have happened any other way.”

___

“It’s funny,” said the frog. “I can’t say that I trust you, really. Or that I even think very much of you and that nasty little stinger of yours to begin with. But I’m doing this for you regardless. It’s strange, isn’t it? It’s strange. Why would I do this? I want to help you, want to go out of my way to help you. I let you climb right onto my back! Now, whyever would I go and do a foolish thing like that?”

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”

“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”  

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Come aboard, then!” But no sooner had the scorpion mounted the frog’s back than it began to sting, repeatedly, while still safely on the river’s bank.

The frog groaned, thrashing weakly as the venom coursed through its veins, beginning to liquefy its flesh. “Ah,” it muttered. “For some reason I never considered this possibility.”

“Because you were never scared of me,” the scorpion whispered in its ear. “You were never scared of dying. In a past life you wore a shell and sat in judgement. And then you were reborn: soft-skinned, swift, unburdened, as new and vulnerable as a child, moving anew through a world of children. How could anyone ever be cruel, you thought, seeing the precariousness of it all?” The scorpion bowed its head and drank. “How could anyone kill you without killing themselves?”

[ailelie]

Oliver Stark on his Instagram post about Buck’s bisexuality

[ailelie]

Rec: How to Disappear Completely

I am finally listening to How to Disappear Completely.

Y'all. I am in love.

Go. Listen.

In, oh, 2007 or 2008, I listened to How to Disappear Completely on PodioBooks (amazing website, sadly terrible now) and adored it. Theo, one of the leads, was living in a foreign country and trying to figure out what her life is supposed to be. Meanwhile, I was also living in a foreign country and utterly at a loss. I didn't even feel homesick then. Instead, home felt like a cursed prophecy I couldn't avoid. I couldn't make myself call home for fear I would get sucked into mundane low expectations.

The author, Myke Bartlett, was recording and releasing chapters as he wrote them. I had a few concerns with later storyline about people with no history, but otherwise, it was one of my favorite stories.

And it has remained so, but a podcast book no longer online is hard to share with people. Bartlett later released a set of short stories (that I adore), but these were sequels to an unreleased revised version of the original novel. Also hard to explain to people.

Then, I learn he has rewritten HtDC and, more than that, he is releasing it as a podcast again.

Initially, as excited as I was, I didn't listen. Spotify didn't have the first episodes and I let that be my excuse, but really I feared the possibility that the story wouldn't live up to memory.

But. I finally started listening. And I am in love.

HtDC is a time travel story. The time travel is not really explained until chapter 8 and so you'll spend those first seven with folded over events, people meeting and it is the second time for one and the first time for the other. People appearing where they can't be. Future events folding back and causing past events. It is a tangle. I love it, but I know not all do.

Accept that, though, and you'll get a fantastic story. Theo Jones is a prickly, stubborn woman who is certain her life was supposed to be better than this. When her boyfriend disappears, she is the only one to remember him. Refusing to just let the matter be, she decides to find him, more out of guilt than love. Her quest leads her to Kilbey Salmon and one of my favorite characters of all time, Nero Dusk.

Nero is the best. If you listen to this podcast for one reason at all, listen for Nero. He's a grump with a gigantic heart. He's Kilbey's muscle, minder, and best friend. Kilbey thinks he has the brain cells in their relationship, but really, he can only conjure his own during chaos. The rest Nero loans out as needed.

Kilbey is the face and the mouth of their operation. He's all calculated charm pasted over a rather big secret and a deeper well of care than he'd like to admit exists. I think Kilbey would love to not care about other people, but he can't not. So he just pretends really hard that he doesn't instead.

14 episodes are out. I'm on 8. I am so so happy this story has been revised and is being released again. I am so incredibly thrilled that the writing not only holds up, but is improved, and that the characters are still recognizable and interesting. I cannot believe I can finally share this with people again.

Go listen to How to Disappear Completely. You won't regret it.

[ailelie]

i think a big reason that I get frustrated with the "liberals have never made anybody's lives better" is that in the US it used to be legal for insurance companies to charge you more if you were sick or even just straight up deny you the ability to sign up for them if you already had a "pre-existing condition", and this was only stopped by the passage of the ACA during Obama's term. but a lot of people who talk about politics on here are too young to really be affected by that since they would have been on their parents insurance (which the ACA required insurers extend until you're 26). and this was all done via politicking and not blowing up insurance CEOs mansions or whatever.

I'm not saying that the ACA fixed insurance forever, god no. but "you can't deny someone insurance for being sick" is a massive change and people don't realize it!

Most adults want the law’s prohibition on insurers from denying coverage based on pre-existing medical conditions to stay. Two thirds (67%) of the public say that it is “very important” that this provision remain in place, including most Republicans (54%) However, only about 4 in 10 people (39%) are aware that that provision is part of the ACA.

[ailelie]

Mozzarella sticks are gross.

Snow cones are best without any syrup.

Watermelon is the worst.

(Overcooked broccoli is all right. Not my fav, but I don't hate it).

note: am v aware i have horrible taste lol

[ailelie]

Walrus Fairy modified TY Beanie Babies hybrid plush by Cat's Chimerical Creations

Like what I do? Please consider supporting me here: https://ko-fi.com/catschimericalcreations

[ailelie]

What is your favourite bird? Why? Do they have any anatomical anomalies? Why is their beak like that? Why are their feet like that? Rate their plumage on a scale of 1 to 10. <3

I have TOO MANY favorite birds. For the fun of it let's go with the kea for this one.

They're among my favorites due to their combination of playfulness and intelligence. They're so smart- smart enough to understand basic probability, solve puzzles just as well as crows, and they work well cooperatively to solve problems too. But they're ALSO just little SHITS that love to cause chaos.

I don't remember the sources for all these, but here's a collection of stories I've found

Okay, as for any anomolies: they're the only alpine parrot in the world. They have to survive in the bitter cold. So...they're omnivores!! They LOVE fat. They eat sheep fat quite often- literally tear it out of the sheep's back. It's brutal but it definitely helps them survive, because fat has so many calories.

That brings me into their beak. It's stupidly sharp and long for a parrot. This makes it easy for them to tear things.

As for their feet- like all parrots, Kea have a zygodactyl foot arrangement. It helps parrots perch and maneuver objects more easily. (For reference, most birds have an anisodactyle arrangement instead).

And plumage is DEFINITELY a 10/10. They look plain and inconspicuous when they're sitting down with their wings folded but WHEN THEY OPEN THOSE WINGS -

THEYRE SO DAMN PRETTY.

Anyways this concludes my Ted talk thank you so so so so so much for asking 💛

[ailelie]

This NPR interview with with Angela Saini about how race science never really left the global scientific consciousness is super interesting! I’m gonna read her book!

[ailelie]

Hope what I’m saying makes sense bc English it’s not my first language, but… I’ve been a Buddie shipper since I started the show back in 2021 and I would love for them to get together eventually. But I’m also bi and like… I’ve been Buck before. And it breaks my heart to see people over analyzing the coming out scene and saying things like: “Oh yeah, you can see on his face that Buck wanted for things between them to change” because, in my opinion, that’s simply not true. When I came out to my best friend, I was terrified. She was and is the best ally in the world and I knew that me coming out wasn’t going to change a thing between us, but at the same time I was fucking terrified because… it might. And I couldn’t be sure of it until I told here. So maybe I’m projecting too much into Buck, but I hate that his journey and his coming coming out tends to be seen only as a way to get Buddie canon, because it could be so much more than that

Don’t worry about your English, because you’ve expressed yourself very well!

I completely agree. Coming out to your friends and family is nerve-wracking, even if you’re 99% it will be fine, there’s always that creeping doubt- what if you’re wrong about them? What if they’re okay with lgbtq people as long as it’s only at arm’s length? What if they’re not exactly phobic about it, but they can’t help but be weird about it?

Tbh it’s part of why I’m not out to my friends and family. My situation is simplified by the fact that for personal reasons I haven’t dated since my early 20s, so it just never comes up anymore.

But I also remember when I was younger, being pressed about my relationships with both my male and female friends. There was one in particular who I was especially close to, who lived with me for a while, that I was asked about repeatedly. Our relationship was never sexual or romantic, but the speculation actually drove us apart. My flavor of queer usually bends more towards women than men. She’s asexual and has been clear about that since well before it was a a semi-well-known designation. I shouldn’t have had to out her to get people off our backs, and I never did, and eventually the damage was done.

I get why buddie shippers want to see things that support the ship. I do, I have worn the shipping goggles before myself. But making everything between two emotionally close people romantic and/or sexual can be really damaging in real life. I get that TV is not real life, but it is meant to be somewhat reflective of real life.

Buck’s coming out scenes were both wonderful on their own merits without needing to be read any deeper. Maddie was just talking about Buck feeling uncomfortable with lying, even though he has a right to want to take his own time with it. He didn’t even mean to come out to her, he just slipped up and she had to scramble to process it and also try to say the right things and give him good advice.

I don’t need to read any subtext into the scene with Eddie. This was the first time Buck has intentionally let anybody know he’s not straight. The way you can see him steel himself and decide to say it, choose to trust Eddie with this really important, really vulnerable thing. It was beautiful and emotional. Buck genuinely was happy and relieved that Eddie accepted this new information about him with barely a blink. Not everybody gets that. Especially between men.

That scene was perfect in my eyes and doesn’t need to be scrutinized for hints of romantic Buddie “evidence” or foreshadowing or whatever. It is actually important for straight male viewers to see these very masculine men have that kind of moment, and for Eddie to just easily accept his friend’s newfound queerness. Hopefully it gives some of them a reference for if one of their friends ever has something important to share.

[ailelie]

Can fanfic only be for officially published things? Is it only for finished things?

If an author is taking an age to write the next book in their series, can you write your own next book instead?

What if that author isn't published? What if the story is something they've been posting on a personal blog or website? What if it is a fanfic itself?

At what point do creators have to suddenly be okay with people taking their creations and doing their own stuff with them? Until what point is it rude for fans to do this?

[ailelie]

I need a fic now with Ravi talking with B-shift friends and the slow slide into him becoming one of the A-shift weirdos. And he's still all 'I'm not really part of them' and they're all like 'oh, hon, let's count the ways.'

I know I’ve said it a million times but I will never not find it funny how Ravi saying “I’m not really with them” just fucking. JUMPSTARTED the firefam adoption process. Before that they were normal (for them)!!!! They were annoyed he jinxed them!! They were like ugh the probie is here at the treasure hunt we barely know him and now we have to cut him in! He wasn’t even on their same shift!!!

And then Ravi said “I’m not really with them, I barely know these people” and they’re staring at him and suddenly his appearances increase. He’s at Albert’s graduation (the only one not on their shift who’s there, I KNOW they lied to him and said everyone shows up), he gets pulled into their shifts multiple times, they’re chasing him around with chainsaws and dragging him back into the firehouse to come home!

This dude accidentally said the secret words that triggered his adoption because their collective abandonment issues reared up and they took his words as a personal challenge for him to never leave lmao

[ailelie]

You answered an anon about 911 fics and you finished saying that could recommend more! I’m new in the fandom and taking all the recommendations so if you want to give more, my ao3 and I are ready ☺️☺️☺️☺️

omg alright!! let me go through more of my bookmarks then hehe

Your Fingerprints Smeared on My Heart (Lead Me Back to You) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

what a heart can do by bvckandeddie

dead reckoning by euadnes

takin my time verse by archerincombat

would you lie with me and just forget the world by colonoscopys

a spell on you (because you’re mine) by starkvandyne, tawaifeddiediaz

a bleeding sun on a silver screen by rarakiplin

how you lean on my shoulder (how i see myself with you) by withoutthetiger

Traded by Princessfbi

i just wanna tell you how i'm feeling by calvingseason

i like you so much (it's kinda gross) by Aficatyourfingertips, brewrosemilk

the persistence of memory by withmeornotatall

stupid people. by brewrosemilk

dirty symphony by tawaifeddiediaz

Being Eddie by Daisies_and_Briars

Smoke and Ashes Brushed Off with Ink by Princessfbi

take me to the lakes by archerincombat

let's hear it for the boy by hattalove

Wait for me there by kitkatpancakestack

Ever After by ElvenSorceress

Frequent Flyer by whileyouresleeping

burn the straw house down by rarakiplin

maybe i’ll be brave enough by then by trippedandfell

Love Leaves A Memory by LeandraLocke

never felt this way before (yes i swear) by withoutthetiger

listen to you breathing (is where I wanna be) by Yavilee

at the right time by elisela

wishing to be the friction by ipretendtobesane

Lifelines by hetrez

Your Love is an Oil Slick (It Glows like Rainbows, It Stains My Soul) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

Leveling Up by lamardeuse

Evan Buckley & The Coma-Verse of Madness by Daisies_and_Briars

Agua Dulce and Other Sweet Things by TazzySnow

Gravity by rowan_wood

I'm cold but you light the fire within me by Beulaugh

if i need to rearrange my particles — i will for you. by dylaesthetics

you fill my head with you by Underhung_Aura

okay i think this is quite enough lmao, but if you do need more after all of these and the previous ones, let me know (because yes i do have more and more bookmarks lol)!! you can also check my #fanfic tag 😁 it's mostly buddie in there!