ajjunicesblog
ajjunicesblog
AJunice
7 posts
ς(>‿<.)
Last active 3 hours ago
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
ajjunicesblog · 4 days ago
Text
me rn writing passion (coming soon btw)
Tumblr media
0 notes
ajjunicesblog · 6 days ago
Text
LET'S GO
Tumblr media
Welcome to the Neo Orgasm Clinic!
Where pleasure meets empowerment!
We proudly promote safe, healthy and satisfying orgasms for women because your pleasure matters the most! Whether you’re discovering your body, exploring new heights, or just learning what feels good, we’re here to guarantee your satisfaction.
If pleasure isn’t achieved, we offer a full refund. Here at Neo Orgasm Clinic, your wellness and results come first.
Tumblr media
MEET OUR TOP DONORS:
Tumblr media
UPCOMING APPOINTMENT ON: TBA
Tumblr media Tumblr media
UPCOMING APPOINTMENT ON: TBA
Tumblr media Tumblr media
UPCOMING APPOINTMENT ON: TBA
Tumblr media
🗓️ SIGN UP HERE TO BE REMINDED OF YOUR APPOINTMENT
Tumblr media
🩺 DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. It does not depict real events or reflect the actual personalities, behaviors, or beliefs of any individuals mentioned above.
🩻 This post will be updated along the way -> likes, reblogs and comments are not required but is very appreciated.
673 notes · View notes
ajjunicesblog · 13 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
“STUPID CUPID”
pairing: fuckboy! na jaemin x secret identity! reader | genre: rom-com | words: 24k+
synopsis -> mr. cupid — anonymous radio host. running the #1 most popular radio show on campus. famous for his thoughtful advice and classified as a true hopeless romantic. na jaemin — photography major, the sweet fuck-boy. described to be affectionate and gentle…but don’t fall for his tactics! once he’s done with you, he’s gone with the wind. your best friend unfortunately happened to be on the receiving end of this. what happens when you find out that the anonymous radio host is none other than na jaemin himself? sweet revenge.
warnings -> tooth rotting cheesiness you’ll roll your eyes, a hundred different synonyms for a gentle smile, pet name unlocked: angel, lots of stolen kisses, there’s only one bed, reader and jaemin are stupid and selfish sometimes, a tiny bit of angst, a hole in the wall, +18, crude language, fuck-boys, mentions of drugs, alcohol, make outs, one night stands, more than one boner, smut! oral-m/f receiving, fingering, slight nipple play, blowjob, handjob, sex, a brief conversation with his cock, jaemin is whiny and vocal and big, masturbation, public sex if u squint.
an -> the first installment of the loverboy series is finally yours. i hope you love (and hate) it as much as i do. i had so many moments in the three months i’ve had with this work where i almost scrapped this as i couldn’t figure out how to progress the story without it being so cheesy. i wanted something grand, something never been done before! but (fortunately) with rom-com, and the amount of lovely fiction out there, everything has been done before. so i succumbed to the inevitable cheesiness and made something i was happy with. hope you enjoy! with love, c.
Tumblr media
dear, mr. cupid,
my best friend slept with her crush! problem is, he’s a total fuckboy and doesn’t even remember her. he walks around pretending he doesn’t know her. what can i do to get back at him?
love,
heart
mr. cupid reads the anonymous confession of the day, ready to give his think piece.
“hi heart, hmm,” he pauses, seeming to be in deep thought, “first of all, i think you should be there for your friend. let her know that no man, especially a fuckboy, is worth any of her precious time. as for the guy, let him have a taste of his own medicine, he deserves it. no man should ever treat a woman like that,” he sweetly advises through the radio, making you scoff in disgust.
his fake persona was sickening considering you couldn't even count the number of girls he has been with in both of your hands in just a span of one year.
taste of his own medicine, huh?
two days later, you got all dolled up, looking exactly like the girls you know are his type – all pretty in pink, a cute skirt around your waist, pretty bow adorned on your hair, paired with heels that made your legs look longer.
you couldn’t even recognize yourself when you looked in the mirror. gone were the oversized t-shirts and sweats that usually hugged your body. you were going to make him notice you, one way or another.
it was all part of the plan – it’s simple, really! the entirety fitting in a page in your notebook, titled the downfall of na jaemin:
step one - introduce yourself.
step two - make him fall in love with you.
step three/four - break his heart and reveal to the whole world (university) that their beloved mr. cupid is a phony.
see, easy!
hence, we begin.
you’ve mapped out the trail he took after his first period. and like the mastermind you are, you were right where you needed to be at the right time. walking hurriedly past him and “accidentally” bumping into him, the books and papers in your hand flying out of your grasp, an exaggerated gasp slipping past your lips.
jaemin, quick to his feet, was already on the ground, picking up your fallen items, “sorry about that,” he apologizes.
“no it's okay, i wasn’t looking where i was going, sorry,” your sweet voice captures his attention as he finally gets a good look at you. a devilishly sweet smile growing on his features, eyebrows ever so slightly raising in a way that if you weren’t so observant, you wouldn’t have noticed.
“just be careful next time, beautiful,” he flirts, handing you back your things, the smile on his face never leaving. you fight back the urge to roll your eyes.
“thanks handsome, i’ll see you around?,” matching his energy, voice going softer, eyes flirtatiously but calculatively drooping, as you grab your books out of his hands, making sure your fingertips touch, just a little bit, before turning away and quickly walking the opposite direction.
the boy quickly called out to you, “hey!, what's your name?!”
leaning over your shoulder, plastering on the sweetest smile you can give him, you waved away like you were some kind of princess – classic romantic first meetings.
he watches your retreating figure, a small smile visible on his features. he has half the mind to follow you until the sound of his phone buzzing snaps him out of his daze.
mark: where are u? need help setting up
jaemin: omw
𓏲𝄢
“did we get new students?,” was the first thing that jaemin asked when he entered the room, his friends quickly glancing at his direction before continuing their tasks – setting the house up for the fraternity’s highly anticipated valentines day party that was two days away. it was really the only party (besides halloween, christmas and new year) that they prepared for. all the other ones, didn’t require this much work.
“not that i know of?,” mark — leader of the dream fraternity, music major, the favorite fuckboy. unlike jaemin, he doesn’t hide under sweet pretenses. he tells you what he wants from the beginning, never leaving you doubting his actions. whether or not you continue, is up to you. so you can’t exactly blame him when he breaks your heart in the end.
“huh..,” he ponders.
“why?,” his leader ask, curiosity piqued.
“saw the prettiest girl today, never seen her before,” he says nonchalantly.
“maybe she was just passing by?,” haechan — member of the dream fraternity, theatre major, the most popular fuckboy. girls love him. boys love him. he’s funny and charming but also very straightforward. you won’t catch him in a single lie because he doesn’t tell any, even if that means ruthlessly hurting people’s feelings.
“can’t be, her books were from our library,” jaemin reasons, remembering the ‘step by step: how to art?’ book that he picked up from the ground stamped with the university’s seal. maybe you were an art major?
“what does she look like?, i can ask around,” jeno — member of the dream fraternity, architect major, the chill fuckboy. doesn’t really like the whole hopping from one girl to another so he ends up in a bunch of meaningless situationships. his current one has been going on strong – a good new record of four days.
“exactly my type, long hair, soft skin, pretty smile, dressed in the cutest outfit,” jaemin sighs hopelessly, like he was just shot with the lust arrow.
“uh oh there you go again, falling for nameless girls,” chenle smirks, throwing him the streamers he was assigned to put up.
chenle — member of the dream fraternity, business major, the lowkey fuckboy. doesn’t get around as much as the rest but also doesn’t do relationships either and he makes that very clear. no use of pet names, or flowers, or chocolates or anything romantic.
“actually, she was holding an art book. renjun, have you seen anyone today wearing a pink top with a white skirt, a pretty white bow on her pretty head?”
renjun — member of the dream fraternity, art major, the fuckboy by association. only got labeled a player due to his friends. doesn’t actually care too much for romantic relationships, but he will have one night stands here and there, he still has a working dick after all. #1 person to call out the boys if they over step a line but will also fight a girl for his friends.
“didn’t go to class today, too busy setting up,” he shrugs, “leave the poor girl alone jaemin, we don’t need a repeat of last time,” he adds sternly.
“hey!, that one was not my fault, that girl was crazy,” jaemin reasons out earning a snort from jisung.
“yeah, hyung, crazy because she told you she loved you and you said it back then proceeded to avoid her,” jisung — member of the dream fraternity. dance major, the fuckboy in the making. he was in a relationship, once. the girl cheated on him so now he’s decided that love’s not real and is taking fuckboy 101 classes from mark and haechan.
“who tells you they love you while your balls deep in!?,” jaemin practically shouts, “my dick was my brain, okay!, besides who even says i love you to a guy you’ve only been talking to for a week, not to mention we barely talked!,” jaemin quickly defends himself for the umpteenth time.
“yeah, yeah we’ve heard it all before and well…that’s what you get for being sooo sweet,” haechan points out, laughing at his friend.
“that’s why next time you don’t put so much effort in,” chenle adds, joining in on the laughter.
“yeah dude, or maybe next time just tell them you just want sex? it works for me all the time i never have anyone crazy coming in like that,” mark teases, the entire group laughing as they recall the situation.
“well damn! god forbid i actually throw in a little bit of romance before i fuck their brains out,” jaemin sighs.
he can’t help it, he was a romantic at heart.
“fuck your brain out you mean?,” jeno snorts, causing jaemin to chase him around the house, fist ready for a punch.
“be careful! if you break any of the decorations i am not helping!,” renjun yells after them, the rest of the group breaking out into a chaos of laughter.
𓏲𝄢
dear mr. cupid,
i accidentally ran into someone today…my books flew everywhere! i swear some even landed on his feet but he was so kind about it, picking it up for me and calling me beautiful and now i can’t stop thinking about his sweet smile. problem is i don’t even know his name, what should i do?
love,
angel
jaemin’s jaw drops, this has to be his mystery girl…right? how many people go bumping around others and dropping their books?
he found himself liking the fact that his identity was unknown. to you he was just the kind boy who helped you out and not one of the school’s residential fuckboy. he thinks this is somehow a work of fate and was sure he had to thank divine interventions for landing you straight into his lap.
clearing his throat, he starts with his advice, “interesting, what should you do, angel?,” he clicks his tongue, “i think you should go to the place you saw him at, maybe he’ll be there again? who knows, he could have felt the same thing…i guarantee you if he did, he’ll walk up to you and say hi…men are simple creatures, after all. if they like you they’ll do something if not, well, you deserve a better man, angel…”
angel — a pretty name for a pretty girl, jaemin thought.
“and of course to all you lovely ladies out there, advice of the day from your favorite cupid is: never accept anything less than the best…goodnight lovelies,” ending the session for the night.
“angel, angel, angel,” the name glides off his tongue. did he just use mr. cupid to get to you? of course he did, but you didn’t have to know that.
just like how he didn’t have to know that everything was falling into place, exactly the way you planned it.
like clockwork, you end up meeting him at the exact same place at the exact same time, your books safely secured in your bag — it was time to put things in motion.
jaemin spots you first, walking up to you this time, “hi angel,” you turn towards the sound of his voice, taking in his appearance, noticing the camera that hung around his neck.
“y-you listen to mr. cupid?,” you ask, playing dumb, of course he listens to mr. cupid. he is mr. cupid. you just didn’t expect him to bring the persona up at all.
“who doesn’t? it’s the number one radio show on campus,” he smirks, “and thank god i do or else i would’ve never known you were looking for me,” he shoots you a wink and it makes sense to you now how he’s never gotten caught. it’s because he doesn’t hide the fact that he “listens” to mr. cupid. he talks about mr. cupid like he was just a casual listener.
too bad for him, you saw him sneak out of the studio late that one evening, catching sight of the mr. cupid neon sign before the door shut.
you let out a playful laugh, “of course, i guess we have mr. cupid to thank…so what’s your name, handsome?,”
“you truly don’t know?,” it takes every ounce of you not to scoff.
“should i?,” you ask innocently, completely opposite from the rage you were feeling inside.
“of course not,” he shakes his head, “jaemin,” he introduces himself, hand reaching out for a handshake. you give him a soft smile before slipping your hand in his, “nice to meet you jaemin, i’m y/n.”
“not angel?”
“you didn’t think i’d actually tell mr. cupid my real name did you? it would be so embarrassing for me,” you explain and jaemin just shakes his head lovingly.
“do you want to get coffee?,” you ask, making jaemin’s smile grow wider.
𓏲𝄢
dear mr. cupid,
how do I get a fuckboy to fall in love with me?
love,
heart
“it doesn’t matter if he’s a fuckboy or not, to get anyone to fall in love with you, you have to dig deep, find out what they like and get to know them beyond surface level.” - mr. cupid.
the air in the coffee shop was buzzing with the faint hum of quiet conversations and light tunes playing from the cafe’s speakers. you sat across from him, sun rays from the window illuminating his sharp features. na jaemin, the playboy who had stolen hearts without a second thought, was now sitting before you, completely unaware of your secret identity.
“tell me about yourself,” you say as soon as the two of you got comfortable.
“well, i'm a photography major, part of the dream fraternity,” he gives the basic answer, not giving you anything else.
“girlfriend?,” you ask, eyebrows raising up as you took a sip of your drink.
“wouldn’t be sitting here with you if i had one, angel,” he responds smoothly, the use of the nickname he has insisted on continuing to call you rolls off his tongue, making you want to gag every time you hear it. perhaps you should have just given your real name.
instead you force yourself to blush, breaking eye contact like it was all too much, smiling down at your hands.
he finds it adorable of course. from his perspective, he had you right in the palm of his hands, all he had to do was catch you.
“you said you were a photography major…can i see your photos?,” you point to his camera, an innocent look displayed on your face, catching jaemin slightly off guard.
no girl has ever asked to see his work, always only curious about his reputation and seeing him as a challenge – maybe this was your ploy, pretending to care about him just so he would sleep with you.
he almost wants to tell you that you didn’t have to go through all that effort. just say the word and he’ll be in between your legs in a second but this is amusing and he’ll let it drag on for as long as you want.
“hmm, maybe later angel, how about you tell me about yourself first?,” his shit-eating grin appeared as fast as it disappeared and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to crack him so easily. you were prepared for that. in the three years you’ve heard about this boy, you have never heard of him being in love. you knew this would be hard. you had to break down your walls first if you ever wanted to see through his.
“okay, i'm an art major with a focus on painting, my favorite color is pink and i love iced americanos,” you point down to your matching drinks, letting out a soft giggle.
“hey, we’re pretty similar,” you hear the smile in his voice. of course, you calculatively said things you knew he also liked, things he’s mentioned in his show, you were an avid listener after all…before you knew it was him.
“what is it about painting that draws you in?,” he continues.
then it clicks for you — this was his own test wasn’t it?
he was using his own advice against you. he was digging deeper. his own personal trick to get you to fall for him. you give him exactly what he’s looking for.
“i guess i just love watching simple colors and lines all come together to create something beautiful…the way it can be interpreted in so many ways by different people, you know?,” you take a quick pause, making sure he was still listening to you. he nods encouraging you to go on, “the way it can carry emotions, i can look at it one day and feel happiness and then another day i could look at the same painting and feel sadness,” you continue, letting your heart talk for you. the passion you had for art clearly on display.
“tell me more, angel,” jaemin looks at you with a soft glow in his eyes like he's really taking in everything you’re saying and storing it somewhere safe. maybe it was because of how the sun rays hit his eyes? maybe it was genuine curiosity? or maybe he’s just mastered the act of pretending to care? you wouldn’t know. but you do know that it was easy to get lost in his gaze and it makes sense how he has succeeded in making everyone fall for him.
“hmm, i like how you can find a story within each painting if you look deep enough and i love the way that story changes depending on who’s looking,” you finish.
he smiles, a gentle smile — this one different from the grins that you were used to seeing and you knew you hit the spot.
“you know something, y/n? i think you and i are a lot alike,” he starts, “except for me, my photos are my painting,” he reveals a little but not too much, hushed voice, leaning towards you as it it was a secret. maybe it was? maybe it was something he’s never shared to anyone but you? again, you wouldn’t know.
you watch him reach for the camera sitting quietly on his side of the table, and before you could process what was happening the shutter of the flash has blinded you.
“w-why did you take a picture of me?,” you asked in quiet shock.
“i like this story, i think i want to keep it forever,” he casually admits, making your heart skip a beat. he was good and you realize now how tough this could be as you sat there thinking, was it this easy to fall for someone’s words before?
“what do you say angel, you want to go to a party with me tomorrow night?," and just like that, the grin was back on his face, snapping you out of your trance.
the NCTU valentines party – you’ve always heard about it being one of the best parties on campus, whether you’re single and ready to mingle or taken and want to party with your significant other, everyone goes to have a great time: sex, free alcohol, drugs and good music. how could anyone pass it up?
“i would love to,” you reply sweetly.
you needed to get into his room.
after all, you had no physical proof that he was mr. cupid.
𓏲𝄢
“i need to borrow a dress,” you rummage through your best friend’s wardrobe, looking for something pretty and pink.
“for what?,” giselle’s attention snaps toward you, her curiosity at its peak. she doesn’t even remember the last time you wore a dress.
“umm for a party,” you mumble, “excuse me?,” she walks over to you, not entirely sure if she heard correctly, “did you say party? you’re going to a party?!” she practically shouts, excitement bubbling through her.
“calm down, it’s not that big of a deal,” you sigh, still looking through her closet.
“uhm, yes it is! i’ve been trying to get you to a party since freshman year and you always turn me down,” she pouts, “in your own words, ‘parties are sooo lame, i have much better things to do,’” she playfully mocks, earning an eye roll from you.
“i don't sound like that,” you snarked, eyes narrowing at her.
“yes…you do,” she says, pushing you out of her closet and pulling out a pretty pink dress you’ve never seen before, exactly in your size. it was the perfect dress for the perfect girl you were currently playing.
giselle hands it to you with a smile on her face, “here, i bought it for you just in case this day ever happened,” making you chuckle, “i can’t believe you, thank you,” taking the dress out of her hands.
“whose party are you going to anyway?,” she asks.
“uhmm,” you take a second to think about whether or not you should lie but giselle knows you more than anyone else, she’ll see right through your words, so you decide to come clean, “theNCTUvalentinesparty,” you mumble and giselle’s jaw drops in shock, “the wildest party of the year for a party virgin…are you sure about that?,” she asks, voice laced with concern.
“don’t worry, i’m not gonna drink or anything,” you shrug and you see the way her mind works, piecing it all together.
“who are you going with?,” she inquired, afraid that she already knew the answer to the question.
“doesn’t matter,” you gulped, looking everywhere but your best friend.
“oh my god!,” she gasped, “don’t tell me you’re going with na jaemin?!”
“ok, i won't tell you i'm going with na jaemin,” you joked, trying to keep the energy light but you see the way her smile has disappeared into a thin line, eyebrows slightly furrowing.
“y/n-, i told you…you don’t have to do anything,” she breathes out, almost angry.
“giselle, you lost your virginity to him! and then he pretends you don’t exist?!,” you point out, reminding her of his faulty actions and how much he deserves what’s coming to him.
“so what!?, i probably would have lost my virginity to another jerk if not him, at least he gave me a good time,” you actually can’t believe she’s defending him right now, a frustrated expression appearing on your face.
“are you kidding me?! you cried over him for a week!,” you cursed, remembering the time you had to pick up the mess jaemin made.
“yes because i lost my virginity to a fuckboy!…not because that fuckboy was him, it could've been any one of them and i still would have cried,” she explains, “...but i'm over it!, i’ve been over it!,” she yells, arms flinging around, “besides virginity is a social construct anyways i feel much better without that word hanging over my head and since he’s slept with me i’ve had soooo many guys in my dms—,” she reasons out, rambling, almost losing focus until she caught herself.
“—so please y/n,” she snaps her attention back to you, holding your hands “—don’t waste your time on na jaemin and just…enjoy a good fucking party,” she practically begged.
“no,” you reply sternly, letting go of her hands “he needs to know how it feels like to get his heart broken. if not for you then i'm doing this for all the other girls who have cried over him,”
giselle sighs, your stubbornness was always a problem and she knew well enough that once you’ve set your mind on something, nothing can change it, “whatever y/n, don’t come crying to me when this blows up in your face, he isn’t as dumb as you think,” she walks out, leaving you to wallow in your thoughts alone.
𓏲𝄢
dear mr. cupid,
i’m going to my first party ever! how can i make sure i catch the attention of the person i like?
love,
heart
“be safe. don’t let anyone take advantage of you. and for the person you like? confidence is key. wear your head high, flash on your beautiful smile and always be one step ahead.” - mr. cupid.
loud music, red solo cups, couples sticking their tongue down each other's throat, a guy wearing a diaper holding a toy bow and arrow drunk in the front lawn and it’s only 9pm.
this is the infamous valentines day party?
you wanted nothing more than to turn around and go back to the safety of your dorm room, hide under the blankets and binge watch cheesy rom-com movies until the sun comes up.
before you can psych yourself out, an unknown voice makes its way to your ears, “you must be, angel?,” the figure walks up to you, a smirk etched onto his face.
“and you are?,” you ask, already feeling a bit uncomfortable.
“haechan,” he introduces, hand going up for a handshake. he waits for yours but you never give it, only glancing at his hand with a slight look of disgust. quickly retracting it, the boy runs a hand through his long dark hair, laughing it off.
“he was right,” he comments, looking you up and down, “sorry?,” this is by far the most confusing conversation you’ve ever had. you’ve decided you hated parties.
“...long hair, soft skin, pretty smile and dressed in the cutest outfit, you are exactly his type,” he mumbles, sipping from his cup and taking a step towards you.
ahhh so he’s talked about you.
haechan’s figure towers over you and you’re now very aware that he’s an intoxicated man and you’re in nothing but a tight pink dress who forgot to bring some sort of self defense weapon. you hold onto your purse a little tighter, ready to swing if it comes down to it.
“back off, haechan,” jaemin’s deep voice echoes from behind you. his familiar presence brings you a sense of comfort. you’d take him over this random guy in front of you any day. though you’re not entirely sure it’s better.
“just introducing myself,” haechan smirks, raising his hands in mock surrender as the taller boy steps up beside you, “see you later, angel,” haechan bids his goodbye, walking back into the loud frat house.
“sorry about that, he gets a little too confident when he’s drunk but he’s never physically hurt anyone…just a whole lot of talk really,” jaemin snaps your attention back to him.
“physically?,” you question, head tilted.
“well, i can’t say the same for emotionally, he’s a heartbreaker you know?,” jaemin chuckles, taking a step closer to you.
“and you’re not?,” you look at him quizzically, smirk on your lips, challenging him.
“you look really beautiful, angel,” he ignores your question, choosing to lean in and compliment you instead, playful smile on his lips, “stick close to me tonight okay, you don’t want another heartbreaker getting near you,” he whispers, sending goosebumps throughout your skin.
jaemin watches you intently, “now, c’mon…let’s go inside,” he leads the way to the entrance with you following right behind him, head held high.
if you thought the outside was bad, the inside of the house was a whole different nightmare. the music booming filling up every corner of your mind, sweaty bodies bumping and grinding against each other, more lip locking, not entirely sure who’s paired up with who, everyone just kissing everyone, one side of the room chanting “shot, shot, shot,” the other side carrying someone on the keg stand. the air was thick with the stench of alcohol and a mix of different flavors of vape smoke, hitting you all at once. you were definitely out of your element, panic settling in the pit of your stomach.
jaemin quickly senses your discomfort, your feet frozen to the ground, wincing as you look around the room, taking it all in. he walks towards you, gently lacing his fingers around yours, “just stay close to me, okay, y/n?,” gone was the smirk that you swore was glued on to his face, eyes full of concern. you nod, tightening your grip around his hand before he led you deeper into the room and into the kitchen where there were less people.
“ahh, there they are, took you guys long enough, i thought you may have just led her right to your bedroo-oW,” haechan fumbles over after the guy next to him punched him in the stomach, “what the fuck, mark?,” he groans in pain, mark ignoring him.
“please ignore hyuck, he’s had too much to drink…i’m mark,” mark smiles at you, he seems normal enough. this time you accept the handshake, “im y/n,” you reply, shooting him a quick smile, “i thought his name was haechan?,” your eyes darted between the three boys, pointing at haechan who was still soothing his pained stomach.
“haechan when he’s flirting, donghyuck to his friends,” mark says, clearing it up for you.
“you don’t have to tell her that, we’re not friends,” the boy chimes in and you agree, “he’s right,” making him perk up, “on a second thought, maybe we can be friends,” he says cheerfully, “sorry about my behavior, y/n,” he drunkenly apologizes, pout on his lips and you’re confused at the sudden change in his behavior.
“praise him once and he’ll do anything for you,” jaemin explains, chuckling at his friend’s antics and handing you a cup, “drink?,” he asks.
you eye the red cup suspiciously, “it’s just coke and henny,” jaemin says, taking a sip out of the cup to let you know that it’s safe to drink. you appreciate the action, “thanks,” you say, taking the cup from his hold and taking a sip. the taste was absolutely repugnant and you try your best to not let it show on your face.
“oooh that’s basically a kiss,” renjun from your art class walks in, teasing, and your eyes almost bulge out of their sockets. there’s no way he’s here right now? renjun was so polite and proper, what the hell was he doing here?
you realized now that you actually had no idea what happens in your university. too absorbed in your own bubble to know who’s friends with who, “ooooh jaemin and angel sitting on a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g,” haechan sings making the boy’s chuckle as you tried to hide your face behind the red solo cup.
jaemin shoots you a smile before getting dragged away by mark to the other side of the room, creating more mixed drinks for the party, leaving you with haechan and your fellow art classmate.
“hey, i’m renjun,” he walks up to you casually earning a slight nod from you, “you must be angel?,” he questions and all you do is nod, downing your drink, trying to ignore the burning in your throat, “okayy?,” he eyes you suspiciously and you’re afraid your cover has been blown until haechan grabs his hand, “don’t stare at my friend, it makes her uncomfortable,” he steps in and suddenly you’ve decided that haechan is your favorite.
“let’s go look for jisung, i still gotta teach him how to do that tongue thing,” haechan says, grabbing renjun and mark out of the room. you don’t even want to know what tongue thing they’re talking about, just grateful for the fact that renjun was finally gone.
“woahh, slow down angel,” jaemin makes his way back to you, taking the cup out of your hands, “what?,” you didn’t even realize you were still drinking it, too caught up in trying to not get caught.
“you finished it,” he says, almost proud, chuckling at your actions.
“oh…,” you sigh, looking at the empty cup. well, that’s not good. you’re not exactly a pro when it comes to alcohol and you can feel it catching up to you now, the heat in your face growing as a carefree laugh slipped from your lips, “i guess i did.”
jaemin finds you absolutely adorable, “let’s go dance, angel,” grabbing both of your hands and dragging you out of the kitchen, into the crowded living room, a strong hold around your waist, making sure you don’t trip amongst the crowd of people.
the music sounds so much better with the alcohol in your system. for a moment you let yourself enjoy it as you swayed to the beat, singing at the top of your lungs, jaemin right behind you, hands on your waist as your bodies were pushed closer and closer until there was no longer any space in between you.
maybe you understand parties now? you have never felt more free than you did now, all the worries and anxiety that came from school completely leaving your body. the only thing on your mind is the alcohol and jaemin’s warm hands electrifying your waist.
he turns you around in his embrace, coming face to face with his huge smile, “are you having fun!?,” he yells over the loud music.
the red heart shaped lights flashes around the room, illuminating his features, making him glow.
mr. cupid’s words ringing in your ear — be confident.
and so with the help of liquid courage, you wrap your hand around his neck, the smile on your lips never leaving as you made the first move, pulling him towards you, and catching him by surprise, “yes,” you whisper against his lips before finally connecting like they were magnets.
his lips were so soft against yours, jaemin quick to lead like this was a rehearsal he’s rehearsed a million times.
if you were to ask him, he knew you wouldn’t last long — this whole act of pretending to care about his photography. he’ll give you credit for being clever, for letting the romantic in him live for a couple of hours but at the end of night he is who he is. you want one thing from him and he wants one thing from you. he knows how this goes.
his hold on your waist tightened pulling you even closer, the growing bulge in his jeans felt hot against your thigh. one of his hands made its way to your cheeks, thumb softly grazing your cheekbone as he deepened the kiss, tongue swiping at your bottom lip for entrance. the taste of alcohol and spearmint lingers as your tongue meets – he was a good fucking kisser and so dangerously intoxicating. he lightly bites your bottom lip, slowly pulling away and making his way down your neck.
“what do you say, we take this up to my room, angel?,” he whispers, sucking the sensitive spot right below your ear, earning a light moan from you. the mention of his room reminds you of why you were here in the first place. that’s the location you needed to get to. you nod, giving him the go signal, the smirk back on his face as he led you up the stairs. you hear the hollers of the people around you. to them, you were going to be another name under his belt and you’ve never felt more sick to your stomach than now. to think, for a brief moment, you were actually having fun with him.
as soon as you entered the quiet of his room, the only sound that filled the air was the faint hum of music drifting from downstairs, helping you think a lot more clearer. jaemin’s lips were littering kisses down your neck, body trapped between his large figure and his bedroom door. this was enough.
“jaemin-,” you sigh, “yes, angel?,” he murmurs against your skin. you lightly push him away, “i-i don’t want to do this,” you mutter out, looking down at the floor, making sure you look embarrassed from your actions.
jaemin immediately stops, taking a step back and giving you space, “that’s okay, we don’t have to do anything,” you look up at him, expecting to see an annoyed expression at you wasting his time but all that greets you is a quiet shock on his face, a momentary confusion before his eyes turned upwards, kind and gentle. the same genuine smile you briefly saw at the cafe making an appearance and it surprises you.
“sorry,” you whispered softly.
“no need for apologies, y/n, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he says gently, grabbing your hand and leading you to sit on his bed. you take note of the way he calls you by your actual name when it matters.
“uhm can i get you anything?,” he asks you sweetly, a little awkward.
this entire situation has got you wondering if he was more like his fake persona in real life…but you can’t be blinded by his sweet actions. this is his tactic.
ladies and gentlemen — the sweet fuckboy.
“could you get me a glass of water?,” you ask and he quickly complied “of course, i’ll be right back, make yourself comfortable,” he smiles at you, still that same genuine smile and you almost believe it.
the sound of the door shutting has you on your feet in no time, ignoring the dizziness and blurred vision that came with the alcohol.
you quickly look around his room for any signs of mr. cupid, taking note of his bare walls — absolutely nothing that leads to him being the anonymous radio host.
making your way over to his dresser, you rummage through his drawers, shutting the first drawer as soon as you opened it, the space filled with packets and boxes of condoms and a bottle of lube. the next drawer you opened, to your luck, was his underwear drawer, you shut that one tight as well. you quickly look through each one, not finding a single thing, eyes quickly scanning the room, heart beating quicker as you feel yourself running out of time and then you see it…a box hidden at the bottom of his desk tucked all the way in the back…jackpot.
you open the box to pictures of him at the studio, the mr. cupid neon sign logo right behind him as he sits prettily behind the microphone. you find yourself laughing like a maniac, here it is! proof!
you can finally take him down.
quickly taking one of the pictures, you neatly tuck it in your purse before placing the box back where it belonged, running back to his bed to compose yourself, feeling like you just ran a half marathon.
𓏲𝄢
“that was quick,” jeno snickers as jaemin enters the kitchen, grabbing you a cold glass of water.
jaemin shakes his head at his friend’s comment, “we didn’t do anything, she actually told me to stop,” he explains leaving both of them dumbfounded.
“really?,” chenle inquired, a puzzled look on all of their faces.
“really,” jaemin confirmed, “i told you, she might be different,” he smiled a lovesick smile and they knew their friend was in trouble – he was letting his hopeless romantic side win once again.
“you’ve only known her two days, jaemin,” jeno reminds him, “how can you be so sure?,” he challenged.
“well, if she was like the rest, i would be inside her right now,” jaemin points out, earning a playful punch from the two boys.
jaemin was used to girls wanting him for one thing and one thing only – bragging rights.
it’s not a secret that he was known for only sleeping with the hottest, prettiest girls on campus. in turn, he has been a personal target for them, feeling justified and confident when jaemin gives them the time of the day and well, how could he pass up the offer?
they used him for reputation and he wasn’t a saint. he used them for easy sex. everyone wins. after a while he stopped trying to remember their names but the hopeless romantic in him lives on through his persona. he tries his best to add in a bit of romance but no girl could even fathom the idea of one of the fuck boys falling in love. no girl could even trust him to do so. only one girl told him she loved him but how could she? when all she knew about him was that he was incredibly good in bed.
so this, right now, the rejection he just received from you – it feels sweet on his tongue.
jaemin notices your disheveled appearance as he walks back in his room. you’re still sitting where he left you, sweat trickling down your forehead. he glances around his room, concern creeping into his voice, “you okay?”
were you okay? hell yeah, you felt fucking great you could hardly control the giddiness seeping out of you.
“i-uhm, don’t think the alcohol is settling in my stomach properly,” you lie. well, it was a half truth. the alcohol coursing through your system doesn't feel as great anymore and now that the adrenaline has worn off, an overwhelming wave of nausea hits, leaving you feeling sick to your stomach.
“c’mon, drink this,” he makes his way over to you. the cool water is refreshing, but it does little to ease the churning in your stomach.
jaemin grabs something on his desk before making his way behind you, gently brushing your hair out of your face, carefully tying it up into a ponytail. he was surprisingly really good at it and you can’t help but wonder how much practice he’s had.
he kneels before you, gentle eyes matching his kind smile, “not much of a party goer are you?,” earning a soft nod from you, “it’s my first party” you confess, earning a shocked expression from him, “i shouldn’t have given you that cup,” he sighs, grabbing one of his jackets and softly placing it around your shoulders.
“let’s get you home, angel,” he says sweetly, placing a soft kiss on your forehead before helping you up and leading you out of the fraternity.
𓏲𝄢
“you really don’t have to walk me all the way to my dorm,” you say again for the third time.
“i told you y/n, i’m not letting you walk home alone, you’re drunk—”
“i'm pretty sober now! i really am okay!,”
“—and it’s late, i don’t feel good about leaving any woman out here at this hour,” he insists, tightening the hold he had on your hand. with his caring nature, he reminds you more and more of mr. cupid.
it’s confusing. or maybe it was still the alcohol?
“well, here we are,” you point to the building of your dorm room, “thank you for walking me home, i'm sorry i crashed your party so early,” you apologize, taking note of the time, it was almost midnight.
“there will always be another party,” he shrugs, not at all caring about missing out on the fun, “thank you for showing up by the way, for letting me walk you home and–,” his hands finding that same spot around your waist, “happy valentine’s day, y/n,” eyes gazing into yours, voice barely a whisper, “can i kiss you goodnight, angel?”
instead of the usual teasing tone that accompanied the nickname, this time it was soft, calm, almost hypnotic.
he was so close, invading all your senses, and you couldn’t help but close your eyes, fingers clenching his shirt as you waited, heart racing…you’re definitely blaming this on the alcohol.
jaemin takes this sign as a yes and soon enough his lips were on yours in a slow, intimate kiss — different from the rush kisses you’ve shared earlier that night.
before it could get deeper, jaemin pulls away, leaving a soft kiss on your forehead, eyes fluttering open, “goodnight y/n,” he says, soft smile on his lips and your breath catches in your throat, unable to speak, “g-goodnight, jaemin,” you whisper.
he finally lets you go, but doesn’t leave until he’s sure you’re safely inside.
his lips still seem to linger on yours as you stood there, body pressed against the door, replaying everything that just happened.
𓏲𝄢
“STOP!-,” you point at the mirror, “what are you doing!…stop it now!,” you tell your reflection, who was looking back at you with a giddy smile.
“you’re still thinking about the kiss, i know you are!,” you talk to yourself and you swear maybe you’ve finally lost it.
“you can’t do this! this is part of his game plan and you have your own!,” you continue, arms flinging around like a crazy person.
“stick to the plan!,” you huff out, grabbing your laptop and shooting an email to mr. cupid.
dear mr. cupid,
i found that sweet guy i told you about. we spent valentine’s day together and i know this is cheesy but there were butterflies and all. i wanted to thank you for the helpful advice. please don’t read this out loud because i know he listens to this show and this is a bit embarrassing to say.
love,
angel
the next morning was a saturday and lucky for you, you had no saturday classes which meant you could go run to the safety of the art studio and paint to your heart’s content.
a way to debrief and just be yourself, shut your mind out from the rest of the world, even if it is just for a couple of hours. ditching the cute pink outfits, you settled for your go to paint splattered oversized t-shirts, matching your oversized sweatpants, hair in a messy bun, ready for the day.
as soon as you stepped outside, the sunlight blinding your eyes, a familiar voice hit you, halting you in your tracks, “good morning, angel!,” na jaemin stood before you, radiant as ever, eyes sparkling, smile beaming.
oh…why the hell did you bring him here last night?
now he knew exactly where you lived. now he knew exactly what you looked like. the real you, anyways. the alcohol truly was a horrible idea because him showing up here unannounced was something you didn’t plan for.
“what are you doing here?,” you say, almost harshly.
“i thought you would be hungover, so i brought you tea,” he says, walking over to you, finally taking note of the cup in his hand, “i promise you this is the only remedy you need to get rid of any headaches, proven and tested,” he smiles proudly.
you wait for him to say something about your appearance – a snide remark, a look of disgust, anything that shows his feeling of indifference but all you were met with were his eyes that for some stupid reason, can’t stop shining as he looks at you.
“thanks,” you say, grabbing the cup, “i’m busy right now though, so i’ll just take this and be on my way,” you finally shoot him a quick smile before turning around and briskly walking away.
“hold on, angel!,” jaemin yells out, quickly jogging up to you, making you curse under your breath. there’s no way you’re going to the art studio now.
“jaemin, i would really like to just have a me day,” you force out a smile before he could say anything else.
“of course,” he nods, completely understanding, “i-just, i-,” for the first time since you’ve met him, his confidence falters a bit, words getting lost in stutters.
“-is everything okay?,” worry laced in your voice. you can’t help it. this was abnormal behavior coming from him and you had a tendency to care too much.
he gives you a shy smile, “everything’s okay and i promise to leave you alone, i just need to ask for your help,” he finally says, you look at him quizzically, urging him to explain, “i have a project due at the end of the month, the theme is ‘recreating romantic cliche scenes,’ it’s exactly how it sounds…i was hoping you could be my partner,” he finishes, expectantly waiting for your answer.
“why me?,”
“there’s no one else i want to do this with but you, y/n,” he quietly confesses, cheeks turning pink, slightly embarrassed – different from he's usual flirting.
truth is, jaemin saw your confession in mr. cupid’s mailbox this morning. it was his final confirmation. you truly were different from the rest and he can’t help but feel those butterflies you were talking about.
you ignore the way your heart skipped a beat. it would be weird to say no, besides you have yet to accomplish step 2 - make him fall in love with you. so you answer with one word that captures jaemins attention, a smile of gratitude on his lips, “ok.”
as promised, jaemin left you alone for the rest of the day after asking for your phone number and an agreement to meet on monday which is when you would start. you agreed on one scene per day, a total of three scenes for his project.
you can’t expose him just yet and this project is the perfect way to stop finding excuses to meet up with him. it’s easier this way. the more time you spend with him, the more you can play the perfect girl.
the faster you can get na jaemin to fall in love with you.
𓏲𝄢
jaemin: hi angel, i'll meet you tomorrow at 7pm at the cafe at 127th street, wear something cute
the text message pops up on your phone on sunday night. you ignore the slight tingle in your stomach seeing his name on your phone.
the cafe at 127th street was a vintage coffee/bar, popular for its retro style and smoothies. you already know the kind of cliche scene he has prepared – sharing a smoothie.
y/n: can’t wait! see you there, jaemin <3
dear mr. cupid,
how can i tell if the guy i like, likes me back?
love,
heart
“if a guy likes you…you’ll know it, not a single doubt will cross your mind. you’ll see it through his actions, hear it in his words. he’ll share with you things he’s never shared with anyone else,” - mr. cupid.
the sound of 80’s love songs hit your ears as you entered the cafe. seeing as it’s a monday night, the space wasn’t filled and as loud as it usually is on weekends – most of it being taken up by retired senior citizens coming for a good time, away from the crowd of college students this place usually brought.
jaemin waves at you from the red booths, his angelic smile on his lips, the one you’ve grown accustomed to seeing. the smile that annoys you because of the feelings that were starting to appear every time you saw it.
you notice the camera has been set up to face the booth you will be sitting on, proper lighting placed around it to really illuminate the space, “hey, quick question,” you ask, greeting him. he gives you a quick side hug, before letting you ask your question, “since this is for your photography class, shouldn’t you be behind the camera?,” you wonder.
“well, photography is also all about the proper lighting and the editing which is the main focus for this project,” he answers your questions while clicking buttons on his fancy camera, eyes focused on the task at hand, “—and besides, if i have to take pictures of you acting these scenes out with someone else, i might crash out,” he winks at your direction, earning a playful eye roll from you.
“okay so what am i supposed to do,” you await his instructions, standing awkwardly.
“just wait a while, i’m still waiting on that chocolate smoothie,”
“ahhh so we are doing the ‘sharing a smoothie’ scene?,” you ask, eyes full of curiosity. he sends you a smile of confirmation, finishing his set up as you continue to watch him work. his eyes flickering around his camera, making sure everything is perfect. in a quick second, the flash of the camera blinds you.
“sorry angel, practice shot,” he smiles apologetically as you got up to see the photo he took. he moves to the side a bit, giving you room to see behind the lens. “oh my god, i look ridiculous,” you giggle at the expression you were making, a light shock on your face as you were staring not right at the camera but the figure behind it, “you look beautiful…as always,” jaemin whispers by your ear, a small smile starting to form on your face as you take note of all the colors and shadows the camera has picked up, “it looks really pretty,” you comment and jaemin observes the way you're taking every detail in.
you turn your face towards him, finally realizing how close he was to you. so close to the point you could remember the lingering feeling of his lips on yours. you could feel yourself leaning in when the waiter’s voice snaps you back to reality, the chocolate smoothie being served.
jaemin instructs you on what to do. sitting right across from him, the chocolate milkshake placed right in the middle of the table in between you, one straw for him, one straw for you.
“ready, angel?,” he asks you from across the booth, starting his countdown “…3, 2, 1…” as soon as he reached 1, you both leaned in, taking a sip out of your separate straws, eyes locked together, FLASH, you held your breath, making sure not to move, only focused on the warm brown eyes that seemed to look right into you.
after making sure the camera captured the moment perfectly, you finally break away, giggles erupting from both of you as you reach over to wipe the whipped cream that painted the corner of his lips, before getting up to check the picture.
“looks good to me,” you say, opposite to jaemin sighing next to you, “there’s a glare on the corner,” he comments, his attention to detail spot on as you looked a little closer and noticed exactly what he was referring to.
“let’s take it again,” he instructs, ordering another chocolate milkshake.
“jaemin, can’t we just drink from the same one?,”
“no, the whipped cream is already a mess,” he pouts and you respect it.
as an artist yourself, his attention to detail was admirable and you find yourself liking this serious side of him. how much time and effort he puts into it — completely opposite from the way he treated his relationships. this was a side of him you’ve never heard of, a side of him that you wished to know.
the waiter comes back again, serving a new set of chocolate milkshake, snapping you out of your thoughts as you make your way back into the booth, ready to pose for the camera.
this time the picture turned out perfectly. you can tell by the way jaemin's eyes lit up like a child on christmas day, the way his smile grew on his face before turning to you and nodding his head in approval.
you find yourself getting lost in him. he was so beautiful like this — indulged in his work, an innocent glow radiating off of him, “come, take a look,” he invites.
immediately, you could see the difference. you’re not sure what he did, which buttons he pressed to make this picture turn out like this but it looked straight out of a movie scene and he hasn’t even edited it.
the two of you spent the rest of the night finishing the two chocolate milkshakes, listening to whatever song people chose to play on the coin jukebox. at one point, jaemin even got you dancing with him, joining the crowd of elderly’s on the dance floor. he shows off his silly dance moves, like he was one of the grandpa’s in the cafe.
“you’ve got a charming young man, my husband was exactly like that when we first met,” a lady whispered in your ear, a blush appearing on your cheeks at her comment.
“he’s not really my man,” you confess to her, smiling sheepishly.
“oh but he will be sweetheart, no one will act that foolish if they weren’t interested,” she points out, directing your attention back to jaemin, who was already looking right at you before joining the grandpa’s dance battle, making sure you were watching every move he made — making you laugh like you’ve never laughed before.
the night ended with him walking you to your dorms, a soft kiss placed on your lips before the two of you bid your goodnights. you swore your cheeks hurt from smiling too much.
and what’s worse? you couldn’t blame this on the alcohol. you walked up to your room with a heavy heart. the weight on your shoulders getting heavier as you remembered this was all part of the plan and there was no way you were going to lose to his charms.
𓏲𝄢
dear mr. cupid,
i like his serious side. i hope he’s serious with me too.
love,
angel
the next day, jaemin tells you to meet them at their frat house for the next scene. you hoped to god, renjun wasn’t there. you’re not entirely sure how you were going to hide from him this time around. but just to make sure he doesn’t recognize you, you amp up the makeup a tiny bit more, completely opposite from the minimal to none makeup you usually go for during classes.
you rang the doorbell once before coming face to face with none other than renjun himself – of fucking course, just your luck.
“hey, it’s you,” he greets you and suddenly you’re frozen in place, does he know?
“you’re not much of a talker are you?,” he asks, eyeing you up and down, “uhmm-,” you try to find your words but not a single sentence escapes your lips, your heart beating rapidly in your chest.
renjun sighs, definitely weirded out, “he’s upstairs,” he says before stepping aside and letting you in, it takes you a second or two to find your steps, walking into the house. it was much bigger now that no one was around and surprisingly, it was clean, like it wasn’t filled with boys 24/7.
“-it’s so clean,” you weren’t aware you said it out loud until renjun’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts.
“ahhh and she does talk,” renjun grins,” jaemin’s a clean freak so we have to keep this space clean or he starts nagging,” he explains and you nod in response. that was definitely a fun fact.
“anyways, just go up the stairs, i think you already know where his room is,” he smirks, before walking away and leaving you to it.
as soon as he was gone, you felt like you could finally breathe. he didn’t know it’s you. shaking your worries away, you make your way up the stairs, knocking against the door you remembered.
“come in,” you hear jaemin’s voice from the other side before turning the knob and entering his room. it looked exactly like the night of the party.
he immediately lights up as soon as you enter, attention focused on you, as he greeted you with a kiss. it was starting to get ridiculous how much your heart skips a beat every time his lips touched yours.
you weren’t really expecting to be kissing him this much to begin with but that doesn’t stop you from kissing back, your lipstick staining his lips, “sorry,” you giggled as you gently wiped it off of him.
“that’s okay, pink is my color anyways,” he says before stealing another quick peck. at this rate, you’re not entirely sure who was making who fall in love anymore.
“okayyy,” you push him back playfully, chuckling, “what scene are we doing today?,” making jaemin wiggle his eyebrows as he made his way to his closet, pulling out a vintage boombox.
“where the hell did you get that?,” you ask, inspecting the old device.
“i have my ways,” he winks, “so…you ready to win me back?,” he smirks and your jaw drops, “i have to be the one holding it?,” you ask, flabbergasted. boomboxes aren’t exactly the lightest objects in the world and you barely had any arm strength. for god’s sake you were a painter, your hands were as gentle as a feather.
“you’re my muse angel, you gotta be in the picture,” he flashes you an apologetic smile in a way that he wasn’t really sorry, instead finding that pout on your lips amusing.
so now you’re here standing a little outside the porch of his steps, boombox over your head, as jaemin angles the camera from the balcony, capturing you perfectly…well, not quite, “wait, the sun is in your eyes!, move to the left a little bit!,” he shouts from the second floor, as you quickly follow his instructions, “is this good?!,” you yell back, earning a nod of approval from the boy.
he takes another snap and another and another – this time around, you curse his attention to detail, your arms starting to burn, back starting to ache, legs getting tired from standing for so long with the heavy boombox over your head, “jaemin, are we almost done!,” you yell out, annoyance seeping through you.
“just one more shot angel, i promise!,” he shouts back. and so you do one more shot for him, posing in the way he wanted and just like he promised, it was finally over.
jaemin hurries down the steps of the fraternity house as you head back inside, “sorry, that took longer than i expected,” he says, gently taking the boombox from your hold, swapping it instead with a cool glass of water he had readily prepared for you.
taking a napkin, he carefully dabs away the sweat that has formed around your temples, “it’s okay, did the pictures turn out okay?,” you ask, offering him a warm smile.
“come see for yourself,” his hand envelops yours, tugging you up the stairs and onto the balcony where he had been standing. and just like the diner photo, this one also looked exactly out of a rom-com movie.
“wow, guess it only takes an amazing photographer for me to look like a lead in a movie,” you compliment and jaemin can’t help but grin from ear to ear, your praise going straight to his heart.
“well, a photographer also needs a beautiful muse, so thank you,” he smiles warmly, “and since you went through all that trouble for me, i want to show you something,” he says shyly before taking your hand in his once again and leading you back to his bedroom.
you make yourself comfortable, sitting on his computer chair as he rummages through his shelves, looking for something. after a minute or two, he takes out a large book and slowly, hesitantly, makes his way over to you, carefully landing the book on your lap.
“what’s this?,” you ask, curiously inspecting the outside of the book.
“that day in the cafe, you asked to see my photos,” you realize now that what you were holding was a photo album.
“i’ve never really shown them to anyone before so please be kind to me,” he says, rambling nervously, “of course constructive criticism is always welcome and you don’t have to like it,” he chuckles softly, trying to play it cool, hoping you won’t notice how loudly his heart was pounding in his chest.
“jaemin, you don’t have to show me this,” you say, your breath catching in your throat, heart aching.
for the first time since all of this began, you realize that jaemin is being entirely sincere with you. and here you are, sitting on his bed, taking up space, with a knife hidden behind your back.
“y/n, i want to show you,” he admits, “you’ve been entirely honest with me and i’m ready to do the same,” he says, nudging the album in your hand, wanting you to finally open it.
if only he knew.
you couldn’t take looking into his warm brown eyes any longer, focusing instead on the photo album.
finally turning a page. the first picture that greets you is of a woman that resembles the man in front of you, a shining smile on her face as she sat on a picnic blanket, the green scenery behind her making it look like she was straight out of a fairytale.
“that’s my mom, most important person in my life, she loves going on picnics,” he quietly comments, snapping your attention back to him, you give him a smile, “she’s beautiful jaemin, you captured her perfectly,” your voice faltering, before turning to the next page.
you recognize the next picture was of the boy you met during the party - mark, his name was. holding a guitar, and just like his mother in the previous page, he had a happy smile on his face, clutter of music sheets surrounding him.
the next couple of pages were all the boys you recognize from his fraternity, each one sporting a look of contentment in a place where they seemed to belong.
jaemin watches you flip from page to page, taking in the way your eyes would widen, the small smile that would appear in your lips as you looked over every photograph. his heart pounding in his chest. he wanted to impress you.
you turn and turn, getting to the photos where he was in, with his family and his friends. the sweet smile that he would share with you all marked in these pages. you realized those were your favorite. you wanted to paint it. wanted to capture every detail and keep it to yourself.
then, at the very last page was the picture of you – sitting in the cafe, on that very first date the two of you had.
you felt like you lost the ability to speak, just staring at the photo, guilt creeping in your heart. you didn’t deserve a place in these pages yet here you were… and he has managed to make you look as beautiful as the rest, like you were a part of everything good and true in his life.
“why am i on here?,” you shakily whisper, trying to push back the lump forming in your throat.
“these are all stories i want to keep forever,” jaemin softly whispers, “and i told you y/n, i like this story,” you turn to look at him, reading him. looking into his eyes, you see nothing but honesty.
the boy in front of you has finally let his walls down but you don’t feel an ounce of accomplishment. none of the feelings of gratification that you were supposed to be feeling came. the thoughts of revenge so far back in your mind.
instead you sat there, the butterflies in your stomach coming to life as you inched closer, closing the space in between you and capturing his lips in yours. jaemin quickly responds, kissing you back just as sweetly. the gravity of the moment hanging in the air.
“i'm guessing you like it?,” he asks.
"i love it," you confess, just before he pulls you in for another kiss, feeling his smile against your lips.
𓏲𝄢
jaemin walks back into the fraternity just right after dropping you off. head all up in the clouds, a love arrow happily pierced right into his heart as he hums a tune. he’s loving the constant goodnight kisses, loving the thought of being able to kiss you forever.
“jaemin–,” a voice strictly calls out to him, bringing him back to reality.
“yes, my lovely friend, renjun,” he sighs happily, sitting across from him on the living room couch.
“how long have you known, angel?,” renjun inquired.
“a week now, why?,” jaemin asks, nonchalantly. if he was here to tell him that he was being a hopeless romantic again then he doesn’t really want to hear it. this time he knows it’s different.
if the butterflies in his stomach weren't proof enough, the messages you leave for mr. cupid sure was.
“there’s something off about her,” renjun comments, making jaemin roll his eyes, “oh c’mon, you say this about every girl im with,” he points out. renjun has always been picky with the company his friends kept so this wasn’t really new to him.
“i’m serious jaemin, she seems familiar but i just can’t place my finger on it,” renjun ponders, earning a scoff from the younger boy, “there’s no placing your finger on anything, she goes to our university, you’ve probably seen her walking around campus,” he reasons out.
“whatever jaemin, just be careful,” renjun advised before walking out of the living room and up the stairs.
jaemin shakes his head, thinking back to the memory of you looking through his photo album and once again, find himself humming, smiling at the ceiling. there was absolutely nothing anyone could say to ruin this for him.
dear mr. cupid,
i think i'm falling for him.
love,
angel
you hated yourself that night.
𓏲𝄢
jaemin leads you to the parking lot, hand in hand. you inspect the location, wondering what romantic scene he had planned out for the last scenario. you’ve been dreading this moment, realizing that it’s soon coming to an end. every tick of the clock leads you to step three: breaking his heart.
you stop in front of a silver car, your brain not connecting the pieces together. turning to the boy right next to you with a set of curious eyes.
“we're going to a new location for this one,” he explains, opening the car door up for you. you don’t question it, somehow you trust him enough to hop into the passenger seat.
jaemin ensures you're securely buckled in before stealing a quick kiss, leaving a surprised flush on your face. with a smile, he jogs around and settles into the driver’s seat, putting the car in drive and hitting the gas.
you sat in silence, gazing out the window as the scenery shifted, the soft hum of the radio barely audible, allowing your mind to wander.
as you reflected on the past few days, each quiet moment seemed to lead you back to this – the heavy weight of dread and guilt slowly taking over.
the once alluring idea of revenge now tastes bitter on your tongue. you expected it to be difficult, but you never anticipated that the true challenge would be the way he’d quietly capture pieces of your heart and how you didn’t mind it at all.
in fact, you liked it. you liked being around him, liked his stolen kisses, his stories, his gentleness, the warmth that he left on your skin with every touch, his laugh and most of all, that stupid sweet smile he always seems to be sporting around you.
you’ve replayed it in your mind a thousand times, torn between the devil and the angel on your shoulders, unsure if this plan is worth risking the bond you've built with him. but every time, the same side wins — the side of pride, the side that tells you this is all still a lie. and if it’s not, then the truth remains. this relationship was born from anger and hate.
jaemin interlaces his fingers around yours, grabbing your hand, bringing you back in the car with him, “what are you thinking about?,” he asks softly. even without looking at him, you can see the smile on his face, the gentleness in his tone.
“just thinking about where we're going,” you lie, staring at your interlocked fingers that somehow seemed to fit like two perfect puzzle pieces.
“hmm, we’re going down south, to busan,” he answers and your eyes almost bulge out of your head, “what?!,” he chuckles at your expressive reaction, “jaemin that’s like a 4 hour drive,” you sulk in your seat, hand still in his, “why do we need to go that far?”
“for rain,” he shrugs, bringing your hand up to his lips as he placed a soft kiss upon your knuckles. you fight the urge to smile.
“what exactly do you have planned, loverboy?,” you tease him, pushing all your previous thoughts to the side and focusing on this moment.
“oh you know, pretty rain, pretty girl,” he tosses you a look, confirming your thoughts. he was planning to do the ever so famous rain kiss.
“if you wanted to kiss me, you don’t even need to ask,” you teased, earning a playful laugh from him, “-will keep that in mind, angel,” he winks.
the rest of the car ride was spent singing to whatever was on the radio, learning each other’s favorite things, sharing fun stories and a few more stolen kisses, some of them coming from you.
it all felt comfortable, almost like you were always meant to be here with him by your side. eventually, sleep crept up on you, leaving jaemin in the warm silence, eyes occasionally drifting to your figure, finding peace in the calm as he drove.
the next time you open your eyes is when you finally get to the location jaemin had in mind. it was cloudier here, the sky already casting a soft gray hue. jaemin sets up his equipment, preparing for the rain, while you rush to assist, quickly placing everything into the makeshift set. the lush green landscape stretches around you, the open field decorated with blooms of pinks, whites and yellows, while the river in the distance adds a cool touch of blue. you’re not entirely sure if the camera could capture the beauty of nature but you trust jaemin will find a way to make it come to life.
the rain came at the perfect moment.
jaemin decided to hit record on his camera instead, explaining how it’d be easier for the two of you, since he didn't have to run back and forth to take the picture.
he led you to the right spot, flashing you a smile before his hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer and without wasting another second his lips were on yours. heart immediately racing in your chest as you move in complete synchronization, lips chasing his as he took the lead.
the rain continuously pouring over you.
when you could no longer breathe, you pull away, giggles erupting from both of your chests.
the rain pours harder and harder. jaemin feels like he’s been struck by lightning, your giggles melodically ringing in his ear.
he pulls you back in again, kissing you gently, so intimately, like he forgot there was a camera a couple feet away. every kiss, he loses himself in you, melting under your fingertips and for the first time in forever he says words he’s never said to any girl.
“i really like you, y/n,” he confesses, the words floating in the air, replacing the sound of the rain thumping on the ground, filling every corner of your mind. he rests his forehead against yours, warm brown eyes filled with sincerity, making you unable to breathe.
and just like that, the other side won — the side that has fallen for him. the one that believes this is real. the side that likes hearing your name slip from his lips, the stolen kisses, the warmth of his hand in yours, the laughter and of course that sweet smile forever etched in your mind.
you don’t want to let go of any it.
instead, you decide to throw your four step plan out the window, casting away all thoughts of revenge that once burdened your heart.
in that moment, you felt light, free.
the rain fell in an endless rhythm, drumming against your skin, soaking every inch of you, but you barely noticed it as you kissed him again. this time with a passion that made it feel like your life depended on it.
he’s a dream you couldn’t bear to lose, a fleeting moment you feared would vanish the moment you opened your eyes. but then you feel him smile against your lips, warm hands tightening around your waist as he pulls you even closer and you’re reminded that this is real and exactly where you want to be.
you stayed like that, wrapped in each other’s embrace until the cold slowly crept in, seeping through your clothes.
the rain never letting up.
𓏲𝄢
jaemin did not plan this well at all. besides the fact that he didn’t think to bring extra clothes, the light showers the weather app had predicted had turned into a brutal rainstorm and it was getting harder for him to drive, the droplets continuing to pour heavily on the car window.
“angel, we’re gonna need to stop and stay overnight somewhere,” he suggested in which you quickly agreed to, prioritizing safety. which is how you ended up sitting on the bed with nothing but the bathrobe that came with the hotel, your clothes drying in the bathroom that was currently occupied by none other than jaemin, himself.
the hotel only had one room available and of course, like this was all a part of your doom, that available room happened to have only one bed.
you’ve already taken your shower, washing off the remnants of the cold rain sticking to your body. now that you're in the safety of the warm room, waiting for the boy to finish, your mind can’t help but wander at the possibilities the night held. you’re not entirely sure you could stop yourself if he decides to advance. in fact, you’re not entirely sure you could control yourself around him.
shaking the thoughts away, you finish drying your hair before getting under the bedsheets and tucking yourself in, making sure your robe hugged tightly around your body.
grabbing the remote from the bedside table, you switch the t.v. on, hoping the noise could drown out the nerves. you settled on the channel playing harry potter and the goblet of fire, forcing yourself to focus on the movie instead of the boy that was as naked as you just on the other side of the bathroom door.
jaemin steps out of the bathroom a couple minutes later, his robe hanging loosely around his body, a bit of his toned chest exposed to the cool air. you try not to stare for too long as he walks around the room, eyes on the t.v. he quickly shuts off the lights before finally settling on the chair, farthest away from your side of the bed, “i love this movie,” he comments, your heart pounding in your chest at the sound of his voice, somehow raspier in the night.
the effect he had on you was absolutely insane. you’ve had sex before, had a couple tricks up your sleeve but nothing like what you’ve heard about jaemin. the fact that he was amazing at sex was a known fact throughout the entire university, girls always giggling about how they had the best night of their lives and how they couldn’t walk the next morning.
turning your head towards him, you’ve realized how engrossed he actually is in the movie that’s playing and it makes you feel silly. jaemin has never made you do anything you didn’t want to do and not once has he ever crossed a line. you really needed to get your head out of the gutter.
“why are you sitting all the way over there? this bed is big enough for both of us you know,” you say, capturing his attention, reminding him of the fact that this bed is a queen sized bed.
he sends you a soft smile, “i’m a gentleman, angel”
“oh please,” you scoff playfully, “we’re both adults, we can control ourselves,” you point out, completely contradicting your thoughts and burying yourself in a bigger hole. it’s not that you were trying to provoke him, it’s just that he was the one who paid for the room and you would feel absolutely awful if he had to squeeze himself in the chair, that was obviously too small and uncomfortable, the whole night.
you pat the empty space beside you, “c’mon, i won’t bite,” you playfully tease.
unbeknownst to you, jaemin was in a way tougher spot.
he accidentally caught a glimpse of your pink lacy underwear, the one you left behind in the shower, tucked in between the rest of your clothes, and couldn’t get the image of you in a matching set out of his head. then his mind started to get a little out of control, if your underwear were here then that must only mean you were completely naked underneath that white robe.
he had to relieve himself in the shower, hand wrapped tightly around his hard cock, biting back his moans as his mind brought him to images of you. he thought jerking himself off in the bathroom would help push away all his desire for the rest of the night but as soon as he stepped into your room and saw how small you looked, tucked into the queen sized bed, he felt his cock twitch under his robe again. which is why he had to resort to turning off all the lights in the room, afraid you would see his boner poking out. then he sat there, focused on harry potter, as he tried to drown out your presence.
but now, you’re inviting him to take up the space next to you and god, you have absolutely no clue what you’re doing to him, it’s unfair. he feels disgusted at the fact that all he could think about is how much he wants to fuck you.
he really needed to get his mind out of the gutter.
slowly, he got up. surely this would not help his case but he didn’t want you to think he was a horndog that couldn’t control himself. he usually was better at this. it was just the fact that it was you and he wants you so bad. needs you. all those lingering touches and kisses finally catching up to him.
he focuses again on the screen ahead, the t.v. illuminating the dark room, light bouncing off of your faces as you sat in silence, just watching the movie play out. though if you asked him what just happened in the scene, he wouldn’t be able to tell you. his mind racing with anything that could help soften his dick.
at one point it got way too hot beneath the sheets and you made the mistake of releasing your arm out from the under and onto the bed, right next to where jaemin’s arm was lying. you try to ignore the heat radiating off of his body, try to ignore the rapid rhythm of your heart. pulling away would be suspicious so you kept it there.
jaemin’s eyes flicker from the t.v. to your hand. you were so close, all he had to do was move his pinky and his hand would be in yours.
his self-control was becoming thinner with every second that passed and before he even realized what he was doing, his pinky moved — bumping into yours and in the next second he had your hands locked together.
he turns his head towards you only to see you were already looking up at him, starry eyes locked on his for a second before you quickly turned away, blush creeping up your cheeks at being caught.
he can’t help himself anymore, moving away from the headboard and lowering himself down to the pillows as he turned his body in your direction. this time, when he turned to look at you, you were only a couple of inches away from him.
“angel,” he whispers. you cautiously turned your head towards his, knowing that there was absolutely no going back from this. the tension in the room has got you clenching at nothing and you were getting sick of it. you wanted him and you’re not entirely sure why you were holding back, considering the confessions you shared earlier.
jaemin takes a second to study your face, memorizing every freckle before he let his eyes finally dart down to your parted lips, “i really want to kiss you,” he confesses into the night air, like it was a secret no one else was allowed to hear.
“i thought i told you if you wanted to kiss me you don’t even need to ask,” you quietly tease and that was all jaemin needed to hear before giving in to the cravings of the night, harry potter long forgotten as he finally pressed his lips on yours.
he kisses you once, twice, three times before his tongue darts in begging for permission. your mouth immediately parting as you gave him access, tongues moving in melody.
the make out session grew heavier and heavier, fingers finding their way through his hair, lightly tugging, eliciting a messy whine from him, his moans sending tingles throughout your body. “fuck, y/n, i need you,” he groans against your lips and you couldn’t agree more.
you wanted his hands all over you, regretting how tightly you tucked yourself into the blankets. swiftly, and with jaemin’s help, you pushed the blanket off of you, never once breaking the kiss, leaving both of you in your robes. the lack of the heavy covers made it easier for your hands to roam, wandering down to his chests as jaemins hand settled on your back, a little bit above your ass, pulling you so close you could feel his bulge against your clothed core.
“take this off,” he demands, untying your robe and pushing it off of your shoulders, jaemin quickly tossing it somewhere across the room before hovering over you.
he takes a moment, taking you all in for the first time, practically drooling at the sight of you, you’re so beautiful to him. it’s as if an actual angel was right in front of him and the thought of him ruining you makes his cock twitch. he didn’t even know he could get this hard.
“jaemin, please do something,” you say, starting to feel insecure under his gaze. your small voice snaps him out of his daydream. “you’re so fucking beautiful,” he praises before his lips latched onto your nipple, sucking, licking, making your back arch towards him, moans slipping past your lips, other hand playing with the other bud, twisting, pinching and you feel like you could cum just from that.
“f-fuck jaemin, want you please,” you sigh in pleasure, hips bucking up in response to his actions.
“what do you want, angel?,” he asks, teasing you and it takes every ounce in you not to pounce on him.
“i want you to touch me, p-please,” you don’t even care how desperate you sounded right now.
“i am touching you, angel,” he was loving this way too much. the way you were unraveling underneath him and he hasn’t even touched the neediest part of your body.
“lower,” you plead, earning a smirk from him, “hmm, right here?,” he asks, his hand, wandering down to outline the curve of your waist and landing on your hip, rubbing soft circles around your love handles. you don’t know how much more teasing you could take, your pussy dripping with arousal, “lower, please,” you cry out, “tell me where, angel, want to hear it from you,” he grunts against your ear, leaving marks all over your neck, “i want your fingers inside of me, please,” you plead for the third time.
“anything my angel wants, she gets,” jaemin playfully whispers before his fingers found its way to your folds, rubbing up and down, “so wet already, all this for me huh,” he praises, your head nodding vigorously in response, “only for you, jaemin.”
happy with your response, his finger slides into you, finally giving you what you wanted. even with your pooling arousal, you were still so tight around his digit, making him curse. he curls his finger, immediately hitting that spot that made you see stars, eliciting a high pitched moan from you, pussy clenching even tighter.
“fuuck angel, im gonna need you to open up for me,” he slides another finger in, curling and scissoring againsts your walls, pleasure coursing through your veins, he was so so good.
“i need to taste you,” he warns before he was diving into your pussy, mouth sucking and blowing against your clit, lapping up your juices, catching your breath, “holy fuck, jaemin,” your stomach clenches, heat traveling all throughout your body as you feel your orgasm coming to a close embarrassingly soon.
“i-m gonna come, baby,” the new pet name drives jaemin absolutely crazy, fingers practically moving at a speed of light inside your walls as he continued to suck on your clit, “go ahead angel, come for me,” he moans against your pussy, the added vibrations rolling your eyes back as you lost the ability to moan, head falling backwards, mouth wide open as you came.
jaemin coaxes you through it, savoring every drop before his lips were back on yours, pulling you back down to reality as you taste yourself in his tongue.
“you okay?,” you hum in approval, a smile taking over your features as you kiss him back, hands quickly untying his robe. jaemin quickly responds, pushing the last piece of clothing away, cock springing free.
in one swift motion, you push him back down to the pillows, taking the lead as you straddled him, “your turn,” you whisper, a light shock appearing on the boy’s face before he settled into the bed, getting comfortable. one of his hands coming up to support the back of his head as he watched you, the other roaming all over your skin, a smirk displayed on his lips.
you were fucking nervous, you’ve never been this upfront in the bedroom but due to how much experience he had, you wanted to show him that you could keep up.
“want to make you feel good,” you whisper in his ear, making him shiver, he swears you were going to be the death of him. your lips found its way to his neck, decorating him with the same pinks and purples you’re sure he has left all over your body.
jaemin was very vocal, already whining under your touch, helping you completely push away any of the remaining worries you had. your fingers found it’s way around his nipples, lightly squeezing and you realized how sensitive he was as he squirmed below you, hips immediately thrusting up, “fuck, angel you’re gonna kill me,” he whines and you can’t help but let out a soft giggle as you travelled lower and lower, hand softly wrapping around his hard length, earning a breathily groan from him. you understood now why your body really needed to open up. he’s huge and you were definitely intimidated.
you start by kitten licking his tip making jaemin hold his breath as you stare up at him, his eyes completely blown out. you can tell how much restraint he’s trying to hold on to to not shove his cock down your throat. you don’t tease him for too long before finally taking his length in your mouth, sucking on his tip, jaemin’s groans immediately increasing as his hand found its way to your hair, gripping tightly, orgasm already creeping up.
you bobbed your head up and down, tears brimming in your eyes at his size. he has no idea what you’re doing to him, how you managed to have him coming undone in seconds, body shaking under your touch. no girl has made him cum this fast before, “fuck angel, i can’t last,” he manages to mumble in between heavy pants. the words encouraging you as your hand finds its way around his balls, gently cupping.
you barely touched him before he was toppling over, cum shooting down your throat with no warning, making you choke.
your hand continued to work him through his orgasm as you cleared your throat. jaemin had to practically push you away, “angel, please stop, i need to feel you,” he groans, pulling you back up to his lips and kissing you passionately.
carefully, he switches the position, having you under him once again. he reaches out for his wallet placed on the nightstand, taking the pack of condom and ripping it open with his teeth before placing it on his already semi hard cock, “god, look what you do to me,” he grunts.
your hand rubs up and down his thighs as you watch him swipe his length between your wet folds, the tension in your stomach building up once again.
he wraps your legs around him, kissing you slowly, so intimately, “i really fucking like you, y/n,” he admits for the second time that day, sending you what has now became your favorite smile.
“i really like you too, jaemin,” you reply, pulling him closer as he aligns his cock against your entrance.
jaemin wasn’t a fan of missionary but god, you’re so fucking beautiful, he wanted nothing more but to look at you when he entered, watching your face contort as you adjust to the size of his large cock, harmonized moans mixing in the air.
for the first time, he finally understood all the sentiments his friends in relationships would say — this feeling was so different from the regular hook ups. the passion, the intimacy of it all. you were so dangerous to him and yet he was obsessed with the way you have him wrapped around your finger.
he loves the way your eyebrows furrowed in between pleasure and pain as he bottomed in, your walls finally hugging the size of his cock, sucking him in deeper and deeper. the way your lips fell into moans once he started thrusting in and out of you. your eyes shutting as he increased the pace, faster and deeper and always hitting that spot that got your head rolling back, toes curling. the way you gripped his back as he rubbed harsh circles around your clit, sending you to overdrive. the way your body went completely limp against the pillows, face in complete bliss as your walls tightened around him, sucking him in. his abs clenching in response, a guttural moan from his throat escaping, reaching a high he’s never felt before as he burrowed his face into your neck to control his shaking body.
you enjoyed the feeling of his skin against yours, reveling in your shared orgasms. staying that way for a minute or two, his body heavy against yours before he snuck in a gentle kiss to your lips.
you hiss as he pulled out, already feeling empty without him. he fucked you so good that all you wanted to do was slip into the peaceful darkness, sleep begging to take over.
the distant hum from the t.v. continues, playing the credits, as the rain pounded on the windows filling your ears. you feel the bed dip beside you as he moved around, feel the soft cloth against your pussy, wiping away your arousal, feel him take the spot next to you once again, shutting off the t.v and pulling you close to his chest.
“goodnight, angel,” he whispers, gently draping the blanket over your bodies, before placing a soft kiss on your temple and finally letting sleep consume you.
jaemin wakes up the next morning, your figure right next to him. it was strange, waking up to a person but he liked it — liked that it was you.
the sunrise peeks through the curtains as the memory from last night vividly replays in his head. he softly pushes away the layers of hair that have covered your face, taking in your angelic appearance as your chest rises and fall to a steady rhythm, sleep still hugging you.
he starts tracing the outline of your cheekbones, fingers softly grazing the curve of your nose, down to your lips. he takes in every detail, taking a mental screenshot.
your eyes flutter open at his light touches, “take a picture, it’ll last longer,” you tease which you figured was the wrong thing to say to a photographer as soon as the words lef your mouth, jaemin wasting no time to reach for his phone and snapping a shot.
“oh my god! i was kidding, i look like a mess,” you scream playfully, bringing the blanket over your head and covering your face in embarrassment, earning a laugh from the boy beside you.
he tugs the blanket off of your face, “you look even more beautiful in the morning, angel,” he compliments, making you blush.
the rest of the morning was spent well — shared selfies, slow kisses, lazy sex, touches lingering all over your skin, an innocent shower with millions of stolen kisses, laughter and more stories.
everything truly felt like a dream, like you were sitting on a cloud occupied by only two. hands never leaving the other’s as jaemin drove back to seoul, the car ride filled with sweet nothings.
𓏲𝄢
jaemin was worried sick. it’s been two days and you haven’t reached out to him. his texts being left on delivered. fear was starting to creep up on him in the form of doubts and mistrust. he thought maybe you were exactly like the rest and you did only want him for sex and now that it’s done, you were also gone and he was nothing but a fool being hit by his own karma.
he realizes now that he’s too deep into this, that it’s too late now to take it all back. too late now to make sure you can’t hurt him. he’s never given anyone this much control over him and he was absolutely losing it.
his phone dings and he scrambles to pick it up, hoping that this time it was you on the other end. his prayers being answered when your name pops up, letting out a sigh of relief.
my angel: jaemin i’m sorry…
his heart races in his chest, not entirely sure what you were apologizing about. he watches as the three dots appear on the screen, an indication that you were still typing.
my angel: i’m sick :(
my angel: i think the rain finally caught up with me
he reads the message, feeling absolutely awful and guilty that his mind could even taint your image like that. that he could even let doubts fill his head.
all he wanted to do now was take care of you.
on the other side, you were really regretting staying out in the rain for so long as you sat in your bed rotting, body burning up, head hurting, nose red, throat dry. it’s been two days since you last saw jaemin and you missed him…a lot. but you didn’t want him to catch your virus so now you’re here, hanging on by a thread as he spammed your inbox with messages filled with tips on how to get over a cold quickly.
the next morning, after asking around, jaemin finds himself knocking on your dorm room’s door, a bag containing hot soup and medicine in hand.
he couldn’t stand the thought of doing nothing so here he is, ready to be your nurse for the day and cure you back to health.
the door swings wide open only to reveal a familiar face, “jaemin?,” the girl with long black hair asks, head turned like a curious puppy.
“uhmm,” he mutters, quickly racking his brain for information, searching for a name he definitely knew. he remembers her face, remembers the fact that they shared a night together but he can’t quite pinpoint who she is exactly.
for a second, he thinks he’s in the wrong room, until her voice breaks him out of his thoughts, “are you looking for y/n?,” she asks.
he nods in response as she gestured to the door across the room, “she’s in there,” she said before stepping aside, letting him in and quietly shutting the door behind him as she hurries into her own room.
jaemin stands there, bewildered, if she was your roommate, who he’s sure he definitely knew, then surely you must have known who he was when the two of you first met. surely, you’d heard about his reputation. so why did you say you didn’t know him?
the sound of a cough coming from behind your door snaps him back into place. when doubt clouded his mind yesterday, he turned out to be terribly wrong. pushing the confusion aside, he steadies himself and gently knocks on your door.
“giselle, don’t come in, i’ll get you sick,” you respond, the raspiness of your voice evident.
your roommates name echoes in his ear as he finally unlocked the memory of who she was – the girl who told him she loved him. the girl he said the words back to…on accident.
he quickly pushes the memory away, turning the door knob as he finally makes his way inside your room, eyes scanning the space. he notices the various trinkets scattered on shelves, paintings and posters adorning the walls, books stacked in neat chaos, brushes cluttered on your desk.
“jaemin?,” you manage to croak out, eye squinting at the bright light coming from the living room. you’ve been pent up in the dark for too long, the only light coming from the small lamp on your desk. your hair sticks up in every direction and you had absolutely no color on your face. you look like a total mess. but somehow, seeing you like that only makes his heart skip a beat.
god, he was down bad.
“hey angel, i brought you some chicken noodle soup, it’ll help you feel better,” he says softly, completely forgetting the thought of giselle as he sat on the edge of your bed, taking out the bowl he had prepared.
“jaemin, i’m gonna get you sick,” you pout, hiding under the covers to try and contain your virus, earning a soft chuckle from the boy, “angel, i’m pretty sure you’ve already contaminated the air in this room,” he points out, playfully poking your side until you came out from underneath.
“you don’t even have a humidifier,” he teases, reaching over to smooth down your messy hair before bringing the spoon filled with the hot soup to your lips. you let out a resigned sigh, rolling your eyes, but a smile tugs at the corners of your mouth as you give in.
he spends the rest of the evening taking care of you, checking your temperature, making sure you take the proper medicine. his quiet care speaking louder than any words could.
carefully, he tucks you both in, ignoring your sleepy protests about him catching your cold as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you close, your head resting against his chest. it's warm, safe, and comfortable. so comforting that the next minute, sleep takes you, carried off by the side effects of the medicine and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.
𓏲𝄢
the sound of clutter jolts you back to reality, waking you up from your slumber. blinking slowly, you spot jaemin’s figure hunched over, quietly gathering the things he must have knocked over, “you okay?,” you groggily question, rubbing the sleep away.
“sorry angel, i accidentally bumped into your desk, i’ll clean it up, don’t worry,” he says softly, already rearranging your things back into place.
but then you see it – a little too late. your stomach drops, everything inside you stills. instantly you knew your world was about to crumble down, “wait, jaemin–” you call out, urgency creeping into your voice, but he was focused on the task at hand.
jaemin picks up the fallen journal, a photo slipping out from between the pages.
it takes him a second to process that the person in the photo was his own reflection but once he did, everything shifts – there he is, staring back at himself, the mr. cupid sign right behind him.
a wave of realization crashes over him, bringing all his doubts to the surface, “why do you have this?,” he demands, turning around to face you, the photo gripped tightly in his hand.
the guilty expression on your face was enough to shatter any remaining illusions – he knows he’s been playing the fool. he should’ve known that this was too good to be true.
in a flash, jaemin flips through your journal, looking for answers, “jaemin, don’t!,” you get up, ignoring the way your vision momentarily blurs, threatening to pull you under. but you were too late. jaemin has stumbled across your four step plan.
“the downfall of na jaemin. step one - introduce yourself. step two - make him fall in love with you. step three and four - break his heart and reveal to the whole world that their beloved mr. cupid is a phony,” jaemin reads out loud, his entire figure rigid as he connects all of the clues, his mind replaying every memory like it was some sort of cruel punishment crafted just for him.
“you didn’t think i’d actually tell mr. cupid my real name did you? it would be so embarrassing for me,”
dear mr. cupid, i'm going to my first party ever! how can i make sure i catch the attention of the person i like? love, heart / “not much of a party goer are you?,” earning a soft nod from you, “it’s my first party” you confess.
the way you walked out that saturday morning he brought you his hangover cure, ditching the pink outfits because you knew he wasn’t going to be around.
renjun voicing out his suspicious concerns and telling him to be careful.
the door opening to giselle, a girl he had sex with at a random party. the same girl that was standing just outside your bedroom door – your roommate.
every single moment, every confession, every word that he believed to be true led to this – your four step plan, cold and calculated, had no other intention but to hurt him.
every ounce of trust he’d placed in you, every bit of affection, it was all nothing but a step forward.
every time he was being honest, you only showed him what he wanted to see.
he didn’t know the person in front of him. all he knows now is that this is all a lie.
“jaemin, please let me explain,” you plead, voice shaking as you fight back the tears that were daring to escape, taking a cautious step towards him, unsure if he’ll let you get any closer.
he meets your gaze, pain and betrayal flashing all over his features – raw, gutting, all-consuming and gone in a second.
his face goes stone cold, “there’s nothing to explain,” he says, each word cutting clean, final.
“have fun with step four, y/n,” he mutters, voice deep with frustration before tossing your journal and the now crumpled photo to the ground. without another word, he storms out of your room, angrily slamming the door behind him, your heart dropping.
you rush after him, voice breaking as you cry out, “jaemin, please,” you grab his hand, desperation flooding your every movement, holding on tight, trying to make him stay, “it’s not what it looks like, please,” at this point you don’t stop the tears from flowing. you don’t care anymore. you just can’t let him walk out the door.
the loud ruckus catches your best friend’s attention. giselle quick to join you in the living room, eyes wide with concern, “what happened? is everyone okay?,” she asks, frantically looking between your broken expression and jaemin’s seething anger.
her presence was enough to pull your focus away, jaemin taking the opportunity to yank his hand out of your grip and finally making his way out.
you tried to follow him out but before you could take another step, your body finally gave up on you and you came crashing down the living room floor.
jaemin hears the sickening thud of your fall and giselle’s frantic shout of your name. for a brief moment, he hesitates, just long enough to almost turn back and check if you’re okay…but he doesn't.
blinded by rage, jaemin stormed into the fraternity house and without a second thought, his fist crashed through the living room wall, no longer able to contain his anger. he was seeing red.
“dude! what the fuck?!,” chenle yells, everyone turning their heads in surprise. but what shocked them the most was the next scene — watching their friend drop to the floor, quiet sobs escaping his lips as he burrowed his face into his hands.
jeno was up in no time, making his way over, “what happened?,” he asks, checking his friend for any injuries.
“you were right, renjun,” jaemin choked out between his broken sobs, feeling absolutely defeated.
the room fell silent as everyone turned to face renjun, wanting for an explanation, “y/n, isn’t who she says she is,” jaemin muttered, wiping tears that refused to stop. he felt pathetic — so this is what heartbreak felt like.
he wouldn’t wish it on anyone, not even on his worst enemies.
“who’s y/n?,” renjun looks around, confused, earning a light punch from donghyuck, “angel, dude,” he whispers under his breath like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
renjun pieced it all together in an instant. he knew you looked familiar, he just didn’t know you were that familiar, that you were the same girl who sat behind him in art class — you disguised yourself so well, you fooled even him.
he watched his broken friend on the ground, jaemin’s figure slumped against the wall he’d struck moments earlier, lips trembling, tear-streaked face buried in his hands.
𓏲𝄢
“renjun, please just let me talk to him,” you ask for the umpteenth time. it’s been three days since your fight with jaemin and in those three days, his friends have done everything in their power to keep you away, rightfully so.
when you showed up to the fraternity house, ready to explain your side and apologize, haechan immediately shut you down, slamming the door in your face.
when you saw him in the university’s cafeteria the next day, jeno was right next to him in an instant, pulling him away before he could even see you.
every single message you sent him was left on delivered, every call going straight to voicemail. you were desperate to reach him and renjun was your only access. he couldn’t exactly ditch class to avoid you.
renjun rolls his eyes, scoffing, “again, the answer is no, angel,” he says sarcastically, the nickname dripping with venom, his tone laced with disgust.
you wince, desperation creeping into your voice, “i just need to explain and i promise i won’t ever show my face again.” your eyes are full of conviction, pleading for a chance to right your wrongs.
he sighs. truth is, him and the boys have no idea why jaemin was so upset, only telling them that you lied to him about who you truly were but what does that even mean?
after mulling it over he finally says, “his showcase is on friday at the university’s gallery, 3 p.m., he has to be there for his project which i’m sure you know all about,” he pauses, “you can talk to him there if he wants to but all the boys are gonna be there too,” he warns.
renjun and the boys practically hated your guts but they also know how important you’ve become to their friend, otherwise he wouldn’t be sat at home, moping around, watching rom-coms as a form of self destruction, muttering “love is a lie,” every time the two characters get together in the end.
“thank you,” you nod in understanding, your gratitude mixed with a quiet tension.
“let’s get something straight y/n,” he says, his tone hardening as he starts to walk away, “i’m not doing this for you.”
with that, he leaves you standing at your station, the weight of his words sinking in.
𓏲𝄢
the university's art gallery buzzed with life, lined wall-to-wall with projects from various photography majors. you hadn’t expected such a crowd, the room filled with chatter and laughter as the bright lights illuminated the spacious room.
you take your time, making your way around, palms clammy and heart pounding as you move through the room, quietly practicing the speech you've prepared for days. gone were the sparkly pink outfits and the persona that came with it. replaced by just jeans and a plain t-shirt. you continued weaving through the art gallery, the panels shifting from artist to artist, until you finally reached his.
jaemin’s name stood boldly against the wall, his project titled, “stupid cupid.”
your breath caught as your eyes dropped to the description beneath it:
“love in the movies feels effortless and looks beautiful but all those picture-perfect moments turn out to be nothing more than echoes of a love that was never real to begin with.”
the word’s, achingly beautiful in their bitterness, struck like an arrow piercing your heart. you scanned the pictures on the wall, trying to contain your emotions.
each image held a memory, fragile and glowing – the moment in the cafe, the boombox in your hand, the kiss in the rain, now looping endlessly in video, truly playing like a haunting echo of what once was.
you stood frozen, emotions tightening in your throat, eyes brimming with tears as you wanted nothing more than to step into that scene and live in the moment just a little longer.
you wipe the tears from your cheeks, steadying yourself. you had an apology due, you couldn’t let another day pass without telling him everything you wanted to say. this was possibly your only moment and you weren’t going to let it slip away.
your eyes searched the crowded room, until they landed on him.
jaemin stands a little further back, deep in conversation. you recognize mark and jeno right next to him along with some girls from campus who were obviously flirting with him, one of the girls laughing a little too loudly and you almost scoff.
taking a deep breath, you force your feet to move, making your way through the crowd, heart pounding.
mark notices you first, eyes widening for a split second as he immediately grabs jaemin’s wrist, steering him further away from you, “hey winter! have you met my friend, jaemin?,” mark calls out, his voice ringing loud and clear, every word sharp and intentional.
jaemin looks at him suspiciously before greeting the new girl in front of him. you catch the subtle glance of the previous girls lingering behind, clearly disappointed that he walked away.
you cursed under your breath, frustration mounting, they really won’t make this easy for you.
“what are you doing here?,” a voice to your right captures your attention.
“donghyuck!,” you quietly exclaim in surprise, a hand to your heart.
“haechan,” he corrects immediately, “so what’s the angel in disguise doing here?” he laughs like he just said the funniest joke, “god that’s a good one, gotta tell the boys about that,” he snickers to himself, completely lost in his own amusement.
every conversation with him felt like some weird episode you didn’t sign up for. you still couldn't figure out how he managed to charm everyone. his mocking tone was grating, but deep down, you knew you’d earned it.
“i’m just here to apologize,” you sigh, too tired for an argument.
“huh, you’d think you’d get the hint after all the text messages and calls jaemin ignored,” he says, voice dripping with malicious amusement, “don’t flatter yourself too much, y/n, you’re not special, this is just what he does, you were just another girl who fell for it,” he taunts, his words sharp like a dagger before he walked away, leaving you in your thoughts.
they’ve been trying to stop you from reaching him and you’ve had enough. all you wanted was to have a chance to fix things. so you abandoned the careful apology you’d been rehearsing and did the one thing you hadn’t planned.
you called out his name.
your voice rang out, echoing through the large room as the chatter slowly diminished. one by one, every head turned in your direction, but you only saw him.
jaemin's eyes locked with yours and for a split second, something softened in his eyes. then, just as quickly, the wall was back up and that cold, unreadable mask slipped right back into place.
you ignore the hush whispers around you, even the one that cut through clear as day, “wait…she’s the girl from his photos..,” as you slowly walk towards him.
jaemin doesn’t utter a single sound, doesn’t make an effort to move away, he just watches as you approach, silent and unmoving, until you were standing just a few feet away.
“hi”, you begin, your voice barely above a whisper. you ignore haechan’s mocking chuckle, as he now stood next to jaemin.
“im sorry!,” you blurted out, not wasting another second. jaemin doesn’t flinch, doesn’t react, only looking at you like you’re a stranger.
“alright, you said it, you can go now, we’re a bit busy,” jeno cuts in, sharp and dismissive, a devilish smirk on his face as he spoke for his friend. the audience snickers in the background…but you weren’t finished.
“i’m sorry i lied to you,” you say a little more composed this time, standing your ground.
a shaky breath escapes you as the words you’ve been dying to tell him tumble out.
“i hate iced americanos, i hate the color pink and i definitely hated you…at first,” your voice cracks slightly, but you push through it, eyes locked on his.
you don’t care about the stares or the whispers or the way you knew this moment will be dissected by everyone watching – none of it matters, only him.
“and i know, i know everything must feel like a lie now. i wouldn’t blame you if you never believed another word i said,” you laugh bitterly, pushing away the ache in your chest.
“i only did it because i thought it was the right thing to do, i thought you deserved it for leading so many girls on…it’s stupid, i know,” your gaze softens, slightly shaking your head as your voice drops to a fragile murmur, regret and embarrassment written all over your face.
you look up at him once again, his expression still as hard as stone but it doesn’t stop you from saying your next words.
“—but i also know that i’m in love with you,” you quietly confess, the words rolling off your lips for the first time, hanging in the air – honest, bare, terrifying but all so right.
you notice the flicker of something behind his eyes that betrays the coldness in his expression. something almost soft. but it’s gone as soon as it came.
“i’m in love with you,” you repeat, hoping.
“and i'm sorry that we started out this way but this is me, the real me,” you continue, voice shaking as you ignore the lump forming in your throat.
“i prefer iced matcha over iced americanos, my favorite color is white and i have completely, stupidly fallen for you,” you finish your speech, letting the last words hang there, raw and unguarded. there’s nothing left to hide behind, no more reason to pretend.
this is your truth.
the room is silent – so silent that it felt suffocating. not a single person dared to speak, no one even moved, everyone holding their breaths with you, waiting for something…anything.
finally, jaemin takes a step forward, each step he took was slow, deliberate. his expression unreadable, eyes still cold, and you can’t tell if he’s angry, hurt or just tired of it all.
he stops in front of you, close enough that you can see the way his jaw clenches.
“well, angel,” he say, voice low and quiet but cutting all the same, the nickname sounds nothing like it used to – no warmth, no teasing. just ice.
“this was fun,” he snickers, a cruel smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, one that doesn’t reach his eyes.
it wasn’t the smile in his photos – it wasn’t the smile you fell in love with.
“-but that was all it ever was,” he continues and you feel like someone has just punched you in the gut.
“thank you for letting me use you for my project,” he adds, his tone light, casual, like it’s just another throwaway line in a script he’s already performed before.
“but you, of all people, should know–,” he leans in just a little, voice dropping, and for a second his warmth consumes you until his words turn everything cold, “-i never fall in love.”
his friends start chuckling at the back, the crowd joining in. other’s looked at you with pity having fallen for the boy in front of you but you didn't pay attention to them. you don’t even look at them. you’re still staring at him and you don’t buy a single word.
not with the way his hands are clenched at his sides. not with how his voice trembled, just barely, when he said never.
he’s lying. protecting himself the only way he knows how – by pretending not to care. trying to convince himself more than you but even knowing that doesn’t dull the sting. tears prick at the corners of your eyes, blurring the sharp lines of his face as you blink them back, forcing yourself to stay composed.
you nod once. small. almost imperceptible. a silent acknowledgment. not of belief but of acceptance.
then, carefully, you pull out the white envelope tucked in your back pocket, “this belongs to you,” you say, voice soft, barely hanging on. you hold it out to him and then you turn.
you don’t look back, running out of the gallery – out of the stares, out of the suffocating stillness that had begun to close in on you.
your vision blurs completely now, hot tears streaming freely down your face. you can’t breathe. you’re not sure if you even want to.
jaemin watches you retreat. he doesn’t call out, doesn't make an effort to stop you. he just watches.
only when you were finally out of his sight, he felt it – that sharp swell in his lungs, the ache in his chest unraveling into something hollow and brutal.
he thought it would feel satisfying to hurt you the way you hurt him. he thought having the last word would fix the damages of his broken ego and piece back the heart you shattered. but as you left he realized that parts of it were still in your hands.
the crowd begins to break apart, quiet murmurs replacing the earlier hush. now that the show’s over, their entertainment has ended and one by one, they leave, continuing on with their day, until he’s standing there alone, the envelope in his hands.
he opens it slowly, like he’s afraid of what’s inside, even though some part of him already knows.
and there it is. the photo. the one you stole from his room. the one in your four step plan. his secret.
for a split second, all he can feel is the surge of anger and betrayal, remembering everything that has happened in the past two weeks. his heart pounds in his chest, a sharp sting of violation threatening to overwhelm him.
but then, something shifts.
he looks at the photo again and it hits him – you’re giving it back to him. you’re not using it. you’re not following through with your plan to expose him. you had returned the evidence with no strings attached. you were telling him the truth.
the confessions you made, your voice trembling with sincerity, resonating in his mind.
renjun snaps him back to reality, the rest of the boys next to him, “hey, you okay?” he asks his friend, tone sharp with concern.
he forces a half-hearted laugh, voice laced with self-deprecation. “i feel like absolute shit,” he quickly tucks the envelope in his pocket, hiding it away from prying eyes, mind still reeling.
“well, i know just the cure for that,” haechan teases, slinging an arm around his neck. “a pretty girl and some drinks,” he continues, his voice is playful, trying to pull jaemin back to the surface and he’s grateful for the distraction.
“yeah, come on,” mark chimes in, grinning. “we gotta celebrate your gallery��s success!...party at the dream fraternity tonight!” he calls out, his enthusiasm infectious as cheers erupt from the crowd, a wave of excitement sweeping through the room.
jaemin feels disconnected from it all, but he can’t ignore the energy around him. he shakes his head, finally allowing himself to breathe. maybe they’re right. maybe a party is exactly what he needs. maybe he can continue to pretend that this doesn’t hurt him until it finally doesn’t.
𓏲𝄢
jaemin can’t get it up.
“i thought you were supposed to be good at this?,” the pretty girl from the gallery comments, making him sigh in frustration.
“just give me a second,” he grunts, furiously pumping his cock up and down, hoping a miracle would happen. this has never happened to him before and he’s beginning to get really worried.
“you said that five seconds ago,” she cuts in, looking at him with those judgmental eyes, like he doesn’t fucking know he said that five seconds ago. the urge to run to the doctor’s getting stronger with every second.
“you know what? just get out,” jaemin says annoyed, tossing her clothes back to her as he made his way to his bathroom, not caring at all about the girl sitting on his bed. he hears the girl scoff, followed by shuffling and a, “thanks for absolutely nothing!,” before his door slammed shut.
jaemin rolls his eyes, hopping in the shower, the lingering touches she left behind felt sticky and gross on his skin. he knew she wasn’t going to tell anyone, knowing her reputation was also on the line and he didn’t even feel bad. the girl should’ve known he wasn’t in the right mind for some ego boosting. or maybe she should’ve tried harder for him.
yikes. maybe he did deserve the heartbreak you served him with.
as he stood there, under the hot shower, his intoxicated mind can’t help but wander back to you and the time you’ve spent together.
he can’t help but remember that morning of your first night together, the innocent shower you took together as he admired your body – thoughts of your scent consuming him, the way your lips left trails of kisses, soft skin against his.
then he feels it, his cock hardening.
all it took was the memory of you, “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he scolds his dick.
“really?, a pretty girl on your bed and absolutely nothing from you and just one thought of her and you’re up,” he talks to his member, feeling absolutely crazy before his hand got to work – mind flashing with scenes of you and only you.
hopping out of the shower, jaemin feels a little more refreshed, his mind clearer than it was a few shots of alcohol ago. the party outside his bedroom door has now died down.
he picks his clothes up from the ground, ready to toss it into his hamper, when the envelope peaks out, reminding him of the picture.
he takes it out again, staring into his own image, the slight crumple on the top left marks the photograph, evidence of his anger. he sighs as sadness takes over once again.
flipping the image, he sees your handwriting, words that you have left behind just for him. words that has signified the mark you left on his life.
dear jaemin,
thank you for showing me this side of you. im sorry.
love,
y/n, angel, heart
it was your last confession and right away he knew what he had to do.
𓏲𝄢
“hi my lovely listeners, it’s mr. cupid here on a surprise live session, i couldn’t prolong this any longer,” jaemin’s voice filters through the mic, softer than usual.
he pauses, a shaky breath pulled in as he braces himself for the inevitable, “i haven’t been completely honest with you.”
there’s a beat of silence and then, “i have been keeping a secret and lately i’ve realized how much secret’s hurt.”
“so today, im finally telling you who i am,” jaemin continues, fingers tightening slightly around the mic stand as he braced himself.
“i am mr. cupid, your #1 go to for all things love and heartbreak but i am also third year, photography major, member of the dream fraternity,” he takes a quick pause, finding his courage, “my name is na jaemin,” he finally confesses into the microphone.
the words land like a stone thrown into still water, rippling through the space between him and the hundreds of people listening.
his inbox immediately lights up, emails flooding in. he could already see the previews. lots of surprised listeners, lots of angry listeners.
his phone quietly flickers by his side, messages from the boys swarming his screen as the group chat blows up — all of them shocked and confused.
he would have to deal with all of that later.
“i want to take this moment and apologize,” he continued, voice soft but firm, “to every girl i’ve hurt, every person i made feel disposable…i’m sorry. i wish i could remember all your names but the truth is, part of me was that player, part of me liked being that player,” he sighs in embarrassment, the weight of it all sinking in.
“—and i’m sorry for hiding behind this persona, for pretending i had it all figured out while calling out the very things i also did,” he continues, a bittersweet feeling rising in his chest.
he took care of this radio show, he wouldn’t have climbed the #1 spot if he didn’t. but every truth must be revealed someday.
“—i need you to know, i meant every word i’ve ever said on here. the advice, the stories, the moments where i told you to believe in love even when it hurts…that was all real. i was just too much of a coward in real life to admit that i wanted that too,” he continues, feeling lighter with every word.
“there’s a girl i met recently,” a nervous chuckle slips from his lips as he runs a hand through his hair, gaze unfocused, lost somewhere far beyond the studio walls.
“she knew who i was, from the very beginning” he rambles, “she had this four step plan to make me fall in love with her…the last step of her plan was to expose me but she never followed through with it,” a quiet moment passes.
“somewhere along the way, she fell for me anyway…the player, the romantic, the scared, complicated mess,” he shakes his head, a halfhearted smile tugging at his lips.
“i always thought that i had to be one or the other, turns out i was just waiting for her to freely be who i truly am,” a heavy sigh leaves him, full of everything he’s carried alone until now. his thoughts catching up to him.
“—and i really need to follow my own advice and get her back,” the words left him in a rush as he finally reached his own conclusion.
love was a strong word and unfortunately it took him a while to accept that this is what it was and it was all he wanted.
without another word, he abruptly ends the session. running out of the studio, finally seeing things clearly.
he runs, lungs burning, heart pounding. he ignores the students who were still outside this late hour, calling out his name, calling out mr. cupid, until he finally reaches your building, sweat forming around his forehead, as he tries to catch his breath.
he knocks on your door, practically pounding on it, adrenaline rushing through his veins, nerves and excitement coursing through him at the thought of seeing you again only to be met with none other than your roommate.
“oh, if it isn’t mr. cupid,” giselle greets him, voice laced with mockery, her expression twisted with subtle disdain.
“you know i was wondering why y/n was so adamant on getting revenge, i thought it was just because of what you did to me, turns out you’re not just a huge player you’re also a pro liar,” giselle continues, a pointed look on her faced, eyebrows furrows, lips pointed.
“pretending to be mr. sweet angelic guy just to be a fuckboy behind the scenes, man, how did you fool everyone?” she chuckles, almost disbelievingly.
jaemin shifts uncomfortably, his confidence briefly faltering, “giselle, im sorry,” he says, catching the girl off guard, “i do remember our night together and i’m sorry…i shouldn’t have said those words so lightly, i wasn’t thinking, just putting my needs first,” he confesses, completely owning up to his actions.
she blinks, then lets out a small, surprised laugh, “it’s fine, i just wanted to give you a tough time for what you did to y/n at the gallery,” she says, “besides, i used you that night too, we both win,” she shrugs, really not caring, “i would actually prefer it if we never talk about it again.”
jaemin nods, a quiet gratitude in his eyes for her unexpected grace, “is y/n here?,” he asks.
giselle ponders for a second or two, studying him, eyes narrowing slightly, reading him like a book until she nods, “second floor of the art building,” she says.
“thank you,” he breathes, already turning, “wait jaemin!,” giselle stops him in his tracks, “you hurt her again and i will kill you, okay pretty boy?,” she says with a sugar-sweet smile, almost like she didn’t just threaten him. it wasn’t a question, not really.
he chuckles, not entirely sure if she’s joking or not, either way, he would not like to find it.
“wouldn’t dream of it,” he replies, flashing her a smile before sprinting off.
𓏲𝄢
jaemin stepped quietly into the art room, spotting your back to him as your fingers worked like magic, brushing smoothly against the canvas seated on your easel, completely immersed in your work. he notices the iced matcha sitting on the table to your right, your paint-stained jeans and oversized t-shirt on display, hair in a messy ponytail.
even with your back turned to him, you looked so at ease, like the world had melted away and left only you and your art behind. he stood still, taking it in, wishing he had his camera with him.
content hums slip past your lips as your hand glided from your palette and the canvas. then he notices what you’re painting and he can’t look away, transfixed by the way you captured the scenery of the luscious green landscape blurred by the gentle rain, the pink and whites of the blooming cherry blossoms, opposite to the gray hues of the clouds floating on top.
it was like he had stepped into that day once again. almost like he could feel your lips on his again.
he clears his throat before finally finding his voice, “that’s beautiful.”
your head turns quickly, jumping slightly at the sound of your intruder’s voice, eyes wide with surprise. you weren’t exactly expecting anyone else to be here this late.
“jaemin?,” you question, voice uncertain, wondering what he was doing here at this hour.
“hi,” he smiles sheepishly, hands awkwardly tucked in his pockets, almost shy, as he walks closer to you, your breath stuck in your throat.
“you uhm…you have paint right here,” he points at his own cheek, mirroring the spot on yours as you quickly tried to wipe it away, missing completely.
“not quite, here let me-,” before you could protest, he closed the gap, licking his thumb and wiping the smudge away from the apple of your cheek. the moment was so intimate, his light touch igniting that spark all over again.
“thanks,” you whisper before taking a step back and trying to ground yourself.
“what are you doing here?,” you asked, voice soft.
“i was looking for you,” he responds like it was the simplest truth in the world.
“i-i thought you didn’t want to see me again?,” you say, brows furrowed in confusion.
“i thought that too,” he admits, “but as soon as you left, all i wanted to do was see you again,” he continues, looking for any signs of rejection on your face.
“how did you know i was here?,” you ask, puzzled, you never brought him here before so you wouldn’t expect him to even know it.
“i asked giselle,” he replies simply, leaving you confused, your brows knitting, “you talked to giselle?”
he chuckles slightly before saying, “i actually stopped by your place first and you weren’t there and then i got an earful from giselle about being mr. cupid and now i'm here,” giving you a quick rundown of what happened.
“wait, what? i never told her your secret,” you say, wide eyed. that’s when he realizes then that you had no idea what happened in the last hour.
“i uh…i actually finished your four step plan,” he explains and you’re left speechless, “you didn’t have to do that,” you murmur, voice soft.
“no, i did,” he quickly retorts, “it was time,” a small, genuine smile tugging at his lips.
“he wasn’t all a fake persona, you know?,” he exhales, voice laced with honesty.
“i know,” you say quickly, eyes meeting his. “i saw him,” voice filled with sincerity, “fell in love with him,” you whisper into the night air, making him look up, hope flickering behind his eyes.
“i thought i had to hide that side of me,” he admits, “i’ve been very aware of the whole fuckboy label and yeah…i got caught up in the ‘cool’ image of it all. it was easier to be who everyone expected me to be, it’s stupid, i know,” he smiles softly, his words reflecting your confession.
“but that’s not why i came here tonight,” his eyes find yours, unwavering.
“i'm sorry about what i said earlier at the gallery,” he adds softly and you shake your head before he can go on, “it’s okay jaemin, i get it, i know why said it, it’s not like i didn’t deserve it,” you reassure him.
“no,” he says, a little firmer this time, “it’s not okay because it wasn’t true and i'm tired of all the lies between us so…here it goes,” he takes a breath, almost like he’s steadying himself.
“you’re not the only one who fell,” he says, a quiet smile forming, tender and nervous,“i did too.”
“—and i’m pretty sure i hit the ground way before you did,” he pauses.
you looked at him like he had somehow brought the stars to you and that was all the courage he needed to continue.
“i think white looks perfect with pink, i’m not a big fan of matcha iced tea but i’d still love to see my glass of americano sitting next to yours, and i am completely, stupidly, undeniably in love with you,” he confesses, voice steady and full of conviction, “that’s what i should’ve said earlier.”
you blink, heart pounding, the corners of your lips lifting into a smile you can’t fight, every emotion rushing to the surface.
“better late than never, right?,” you softly tease, making him chuckle before finally taking a step closer. this time, you don’t move away.
“you told me i didn’t have to ask,” he whispers and then he kisses you, soft and certain, and full of emotion.
for the first time since he walked out of your bedroom, angry and overwhelmed, jaemin feels like he could finally breathe again.
his hands gently make their way to your cheeks, deepening the kiss as yours clasped around his neck, pulling him in closer.
“god, i love you,” jaemin whispers against your lips as he moves down to litter kisses on that spot below your ear, eliciting a breathy whine from you.
“i love you too,” you whisper in his ear, large hands making their way behind your thighs as jaemin picks you up, sitting you on the long wooden table, now eye to eye level, his lips were back on yours in an instant, as he stood in the place between your legs.
you could feel his growing bulge against your thigh, making you dizzy, “jaemin, i need you,” you whine desperately. he gives in to your request quickly, no longer wanting to deny the pleasure coursing in between your bodies.
unzipping your pants, he slides it down, before pushing your panties to the side and shoving two fingers in, “so fucking tight, angel,” he groans as his fingers curl drawing out breathy moans from your lips as you tried to be as quiet as possible, afraid someone would walk in. usually no one was here during this time but you could never be too sure, you were still in a public place after all.
you could feel the tension in your stomach rise, heat starting to travel down to your toes, but you needed more, “please, n-need you now,” you plead, “you sure angel? it might hurt,” he grunts, his fingers brushing your walls repetitively, trying to prepare you as much as he can.
no longer able to wait, your hand reached for the wallet in his back pocket as you took out the condom you knew he always carried.
jaemin’s pants falls to the ground, pooling around his ankles, his boxers soon to follow as you wrapped the condom around his throbbing cock, the warmth of your hands making him groan into your shoulder as he tried to control the urge to bust right then and there, “have i told you how much effect you have on me?,” he grunts.
“show me,” you whisper, kissing that soft spot below his ear.
“you make me so fucking crazy,” he says, looking you in the eyes as he pushed his tip in your entrance. you bite back your moans, the expression on your face between pleasure and pain as you looked up at him, trying your best not to shut your eyes at the way he was slowly expanding your walls, pussy molding to the shape of his large cock.
“fucckk, you feel so fucking good,” he compliments as he bottoms in, tip kissing your cervix, your shared moans mixing in the air as you burrowed your head in his shoulder, leaving trails of wet, sloppy kisses, trying to distract yourself from the pain of the stretch.
“missed your pussy so much,” he whines. carefully, he pulls the hair tie out of your ponytail, letting your hair fall freely down your shoulders as he starts thrusting, setting a slow pace. you were so incredibly tight around him, he knew he had to be gentle, “so fucking pretty,” he whispers, watching your every reaction.
“d-don’t stop,” you sigh, getting used to his size, as he continues to thrust in and out, the slow pace becoming more addicting with every push. jaemin’s warm hands gripping your hips, massaging slow circles around your thighs, the added pressure adding on to the coil tightening in your stomach as your body arched up, hips starting to move in rhythm with his.
“faster, jaemin,” you moan. his name spilling from your lips immediately increases his speed as your hands rest on the table, trying to stabilize yourself. moans heighten as the sound of skin slapping echoes throughout the room. you don’t even care about wandering ears anymore, or what would happen if a professor happened to catch the two of you in this position.
all you cared about was this high — the way his cock seemed to be made for you, hitting that spot that makes you feel like you’re sitting on a cloud as angels sang all around you. jaemin feels the same way, absolutely lost in the feeling only you could give him.
it was getting harder to keep it together as he starts losing his rhythm, “i’m c-close, angel,” he grunts, finger finding your sensitive bud, rubbing slow but harsh circles, “cum with me, please,” he groans and it was enough to snap the coil in your stomach, eyes rolling back, pussy gripping his cock as you gave into the pleasure that is na jaemin.
𓏲𝄢
it’s been a week since that night that brought you back together. a week filled with “i love you’s,” and everything sickeningly sweet.
the boys have all apologized to you, spilling repetitive sorry’s about their behavior. forgiveness came easy. especially since you knew they were only like that because of how much they loved him and you were happy jaemin had people like them on his side.
mr. cupid became “love, na jaemin” — jaemin decided to continue it after emails upon emails of request from his viewers to come back. this time, he promised complete honesty, no longer hiding behind the fake persona. the show was back to #1 spot within a day, everyone loving this side of him even more.
there were still parties, almost every night, but instead of sneaking around with random women, jaemin had you by his side every single time — hand wrapped in yours, playful stolen kisses all over your skin, dancing and laughter. and in the days where you couldn’t go to a party, he’d simply have fun with the boys before retiring into his room alone, preferring to facetime you on the phone.
today, jaemin surprised you with a picnic. the sky was painted with soft blues and golden sun, a warm breeze curling through your hair as you sat on the picnic blanket in the park. he pulls out a bag filled with two mini canvases and a small set of watercolor.
“what’s all this?,” you giggle, as he hands you your canvas.
“i saw it on tiktok, we have to paint each other and then show each other the results,” he explains excitedly, a sparkle dancing in his eyes, like a kid getting a new toy.
“winner gets whatever they want!,” he continues, explaining the rules as you laughed, “you know i’m gonna win, right?,” you tease, raising a brow.
“hey! you’ve never seen me paint, you don’t know that,” he cutely defends himself, a pout on his lips.
“okay baby, you’re right, sorry,” you giggle, kissing his pout away, frown instantly melting into a bright smile.
“quit distracting me, angel” he said softly, grinning as he picked up his brush.
the two of you fall into a comfortable silence as you start, eyes flicking between your painting and each other. the air was filled with quiet focus and unspoken affection. you could feel it in the way his gaze lingered on you, the way your fingers moved slowly, like trying to capture every piece of him with love.
but while you were focused on painting him, jaemin had a different mission entirely.
he knew you were going to win, of course you were. this was just his little ploy to finally make you his girlfriend. a week has been long enough and he was starting to go crazy every time he wanted to call you his girlfriend but couldn’t. he’s never wanted to the boyfriend title so badly in his life.
he kicked himself over and over, wondering why he didn’t just ask you during his confession but that night was powered through by overwhelming emotions of love, hope and desire that the words had slipped his mind.
since then, nothing had felt romantic enough and you deserve to be asked properly…in the most special way. and he has finally figured out how.
after a couple more minutes of painting you break the silence, “i think im done,” you announce, setting your brush down with a satisfied smile.
he glances up at you, pretending to be busy as he continues to paint the background of his artwork, “hmm, give me one more second,” he chimes before adding his final touch.
“okay, you ready?,” he wiggles his eyebrows as you nod, your heart fluttering.
3…2…1…
you both flip your canvases, showing each other your board. your eyes immediately widen as you process the words written on his board in bold, messy paint: will you be my girlfriend? — decorated by a ton of pink and red hearts.
a happy squeal escapes your lips as you launch yourself at him, sending him back onto the picnic blanket. you pepper his face with soft kisses, laughter bubbling from both of you.
“yes, yes, yes, of course i’ll be your girlfriend!” you say happily, dreamily. he was laughing too, arms wrapped around you, holding you close like he never wanted to let go.
“by the way, i want to go to busan again,” you smile up at him, letting him know that you still win. he breaks into a soft laughter, “whatever my angel wants, my angel gets,” he says, kissing you softly, sweetly and full of promise.
jaemin swears he’s in heaven — laying under the open sky with the girl of his dreams, the girl who he loves and loves him, and the word finally echoing in his heart.
𓏲 the end.
an: ahhh! if you’ve made it this far thank you so so much for reading <3 i wish you all find yourself a na jaemin (the real na jaemin of course, he’s better than the one written here lol >.<) while i have you! please please please help me decide who’s story to write next by voting here -> click!
likes, reblogs and comments are not required but is very appreciated ⏦゚♡︎
1K notes · View notes
ajjunicesblog · 14 days ago
Text
love her
INTIMACY
Kim Jungwoo x reader
A couple of teenagers are in a relationship filled with everyday moments, sincere affection, and spontaneous gestures but he doesn't know that behind their intimacy lies a secret that could change everything.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
[Refers to “feelings of closeness, connection, and bonding in romantic relationships”, described as the mutual feelings of closeness and attachment. This tends to strengthen the close bond shared between two individuals. Additionally, having a sense of intimacy helps create a feeling of comfort with each other, in the sense that both parties are mutual in their feelings. Intimacy is mainly defined as something of a personal or private nature; familiarity.]
It’s been 12 months since I saw him sitting alone that Friday in the library, a dictionary and a notebook in front of him, where he occasionally wrote something down after spending more time flipping through that massive book.
I had been working as a volunteer for a few months. As soon as I introduced myself, the poor owner, Mr. Lim, an eighty-year-old who always got my name wrong, hired me on the spot, gave me all the afternoon shifts, but at least my weekends were free. He was focused on reviewing English.
There was no one else but him, so I often found myself watching him, intentionally. I’ve always been good at noticing the little details; he preferred grammar over speaking, and often whispered words to himself trying to figure out the pronunciation. I noticed all the glances he threw toward my desk. He would sit there for hours, even when he was done with his homework.
Winter came quickly.
“Excuse me, I’m looking for Frankenstein in English. Do you have it?” Je asked Mr. Lim, who was comfortably getting his pipe ready in an armchair, a French essay in hand.
“Try asking the young lady in the ‘history’ section; she’ll find it in a second with that contraption.” He meant the computer. The boy gathered the courage to speak to me.
“Sorry, the proletariat told me to ask you for help.” He wasn’t looking at me. I was convinced he recognized me after all those hours of staring.
“Sure, tell me what book you need.” I said, tilting my head to draw attention to my face, but apparently the boy in front of me found my worn-out sneakers much more interesting.
“Frankenstein, but I need the English version.” Still nothing, though his attention had shifted to the books I was sorting.
“Mary Shelley, alright, I’ll check if we have it or where you can find it.” I said as I walked toward the desk. I could hear his slow steps behind me and what might have been a deep breath. He was probably as tense as a violin string.
“You know, we have the same history teacher; he always talks about how undisciplined we are compared to your class.” He tried to break the silence that had settled since I began typing. Useless comment, but at least he tried.
“Yeah, but if I were you, I wouldn’t believe him. I’ve got classmates that behave worse than wild animals,” I replied, not paying much attention to what I had been told or what I was saying. The boy in front of me looked like he was about to burst out laughing and he probably would have; luckily, the sound of the old door opening reminded him where we were.
“Unfortunately, it’s not available until next week, but if you want, I can reserve it for you,” I offered, looking up and finally met a genuine gaze from the boy.
I smiled involuntarily at the innocence in his dark eyes.
“If you could, I’d really appreciate it. My name is Kim Jungwoo.” He smiled and waved before leaving. I didn’t even have time to enjoy that brief moment of lightness barely five seconds later, I felt a vibration from the hoodie I was wearing.
My pager.
My blood froze.
My breathing deepened.
There was no need to check the message,I didn’t get many of them, but if it rang…
I turned toward one of the few security cameras installed and nodded.
… I knew what was coming.
The following months went by quickly, and before I realized it, spring had begun to bloom the trees. My relationship with the boy changed little by little; the looks in the library became greetings in the school corridors, and eventually, I found him waiting for me every morning so we could walk to school together.
Over time, we grew closer. I could sense his feelings for me, and every time the distance between us shrank, I felt a tightness in my throat and the guilt screamed louder inside me.
In May, our friendship reached its peak, he wrote me a letter confessing his feelings.
Three damn pages.
Handwritten.
Needless to say, I appreciated it very much and told him I felt the same but at the same time, I was trembling.
It was all part of the plan.
But the pain I felt inside wasn’t.
“Y/N, hurry up!” He shouted, climbing the stairs faster.
“I’m coming, just give me a second.” I answered. Every break, he took me to the school rooftop so we could be together, even if it was just for 15 minutes it was essential for both of us. When he couldn’t make it, he always called so I wouldn’t feel alone.
We talked about what was happening in our classes, new grades, or just how our days were going.
“The semester is almost over." He said, gently cupping my face in his hands after a short chat. “I was thinking of going to Jeju to visit my sister. Would you like to come?” He asked, then pressed his lips to mine.
“I don’t know what my family is planning, but I have to say I like the idea. I replied, smiling, then kissed him again. I had learned to love appreciate everything about him, from his peach-scented lip balm to his messy physics notes.
“Sorry, I have to go, chemistry test, and the teacher wants us in class before the bell rings." He said, looking into my eyes.
“I’ll see you in the library.”
He was far too perfect for a world like thisor maybe just for a sinner like me, I thought, watching him walk away. I had become his girlfriend, saw him every day more in love, even though I knew I had to stay professional. But he always put me first, had eyes only for me; he ran across the school to reach my classroom, listened to me, wrote me letters, and stayed at the library until closing time.
Lies on top of lies. I couldn’t stand deceiving him anymore. I hated what I was doing to him and to myself but I’ve always hated my 'assignments'.
'Don’t get attached and don’t even think about developing feelings for him' I had written on a sticky note, stuck to my mirror as a reminder.
“Why?” I asked myself, staring at the door he had disappeared through. That question could mean many things, too many, and I didn’t know a single answer. After finishing my internal interrogation, I returned to class, knowing what would happen in just a few hours.
It was the first time I had lied for this long.
“You have until tomorrow. You know exactly what to do. Call me once it’s done. I’ll send men to pick you up.”
Speak of the devil, and he leaves a message on the pager.
Clear and to the point he always said anything else was 'useless''.
He always had control over all his pawns and targets.
Especially me.
“What are you doing?” I asked him, noticing his phone pointed at me. His spontaneity never failed to surprise me, he once even shouted at the top of his lungs that he had fallen in love with me while we were walking through a park.
“Come on, smile!” He laughed, bringing the phone closer to my face with that usual grin of his. He could light up even my darkest moods.
“Stop it, you know I don’t like being filmed.” I tried to move away slightly, but he was quicker than me. He managed to catch my hand and pull me back into position.
“I like filming your beauty.” He winked without even realizing how close he had gotten, I suddenly found his nose touching mine.
Contrary to what I expected, he turned and started walking toward the library, whistling as if nothing had happened, and I burst out laughing when he said “I’m the happiest guy ever !”
Realized a few hours later that today wasn’t the right day.
I found myself at his house, eating Dakgalbi prepared by his mother. According to Jungwoo, it was the best dish in the world. I was even trying to convince his mom to let him taste a piece he had been eyeing. Meanwhile, his sister and I sat down after setting the table.
“Slow down or you’ll choke,” his mother scolded him; he was already halfway through his plate, thanks to how fast he ate.
“He basically eats for three people,” his older sister whispered to me, though loud enough for him to hear, earning herself a kick from her brother.
“Shut up, worry about your boyfriend who eats like twenty pigs put together,” he snapped back, starting a fight between the two siblings.
Their mom tried to get my attention, telling me to ignore her ridiculous children. The whole scene made me laugh.
I never would have thought our relationship would get this far, and yet I found myself in that house many times. His mom would always scold him, his sister when she was around would tease him, while he tried in every way to earn their respect but failed every time. And sometimes his dad would be there too, watching them all like he was enjoying his favorite sitcom.
“Remember tomorrow night.”
That was the last thing he said to me before leaving a tender kiss on my cheek.
It was a sentence full of emotions that I would have to destroy.
I tried not to think about what was going to happen, but the dripping sound from the kitchen sink brought back all those moments I had lived with Jungwoo.
Needless to say, I didn’t sleep a wink that night.
How could I have?
I kept replaying every single detail.
It happened often, but I never thought I would have to live through these hours of hell.
The sun rose on Saturday morning and I couldn’t feel anything anymore; I just stared out the window, at nothing in particular, but if I didn’t stop listening to my own breathing, I was going to go insane. So I turned on the radio while waiting for the streets to fill with people and cars.
I looked up at the kitchen clock to decide whether it was time to get up.
5:36 PM
My muscles, all numb, struggled at first as if they were telling me not to go. With these thoughts I stepped into the shower, and with a thousand more I stepped out; I put on jeans and a white t-shirt even though it felt more appropriate to wear all black.
The doorbell rang immediately, drawing my attention to it.
I made sure I had everything I needed and, without looking in the mirror, went to meet my boyfriend.
Hand in hand, we walked toward what we had called our table over the past few months: an abandoned picnic area by a river with just one small table still standing.
“I want to take you somewhere special.” He said while biting into the last slice of pizza.
“I told you in every language of the world that even this date is too much, and now you’re telling me there’s more?” I asked ironically. “You don’t have to, how many times do I have to say it?”
“Say it as many times as you want, I won’t ever listen. Where would you like to go?” He asked gently, leaning forward.
I thought seriously about it, I wanted to remember everything about that night. I didn’t think about the task, the lies, or the mess in my head.
I thought about his face, scent, lips, hair, smile.
“Far away from everything.”
“Mysterious Y/N, I like it!” He said, earning a playful punch on the arm.
The sun was setting, and we were watching it.
“You said you want to go far away?” He asked, standing up to face me. I nodded, moving to follow his movements, having no idea what he was about to do.
“Then I’ll take you to the moon.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, and he seemed to notice. The next moment, he jumped on me, showering me with kisses.
“Stop it!” I yelled, laughing.
When he finally gave me a break, he hugged me.
“Please, let’s stay like this forever.” I whispered on his lips.
“We can stay like this as long as you want, but please first tell me whatever you’re not saying.” He felt his light blue shirt get wet, and then realized it was from my tears.
“Y/N, what’s going on? Are you ok?” he asked, worried, holding me tighter.
“I’m sorry...” I managed to say between sobs, loosening my grip and trying not to look at him for anything in the world.
I was his world, that’s what he wrote in every letter.
But if the world didn’t deserve him, I certainly couldn’t.
“For wha—” he tried to say, but it was too late.
The dagger I had brought with me was already buried in his shoulder, followed by 14 more to his chest, just like I had been told to do.
“I’m sorry, my love, there’s nothing I can do,” I sobbed hysterically against his bloodied chest. I had no choice.
I had to do it and suffer the consequences.
“I love you, Y/N.” he managed to say weakly, barely audible.
My heart tightened more and more, a deep pain that even my soul could feel.
“I loved you too, Kim Jungwoo.”
15 notes · View notes
ajjunicesblog · 20 days ago
Text
INTIMACY
Kim Jungwoo x reader
A couple of teenagers are in a relationship filled with everyday moments, sincere affection, and spontaneous gestures but he doesn't know that behind their intimacy lies a secret that could change everything.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
[Refers to “feelings of closeness, connection, and bonding in romantic relationships”, described as the mutual feelings of closeness and attachment. This tends to strengthen the close bond shared between two individuals. Additionally, having a sense of intimacy helps create a feeling of comfort with each other, in the sense that both parties are mutual in their feelings. Intimacy is mainly defined as something of a personal or private nature; familiarity.]
It’s been 12 months since I saw him sitting alone that Friday in the library, a dictionary and a notebook in front of him, where he occasionally wrote something down after spending more time flipping through that massive book.
I had been working as a volunteer for a few months. As soon as I introduced myself, the poor owner, Mr. Lim, an eighty-year-old who always got my name wrong, hired me on the spot, gave me all the afternoon shifts, but at least my weekends were free. He was focused on reviewing English.
There was no one else but him, so I often found myself watching him, intentionally. I’ve always been good at noticing the little details; he preferred grammar over speaking, and often whispered words to himself trying to figure out the pronunciation. I noticed all the glances he threw toward my desk. He would sit there for hours, even when he was done with his homework.
Winter came quickly.
“Excuse me, I’m looking for Frankenstein in English. Do you have it?” Je asked Mr. Lim, who was comfortably getting his pipe ready in an armchair, a French essay in hand.
“Try asking the young lady in the ‘history’ section; she’ll find it in a second with that contraption.” He meant the computer. The boy gathered the courage to speak to me.
“Sorry, the proletariat told me to ask you for help.” He wasn’t looking at me. I was convinced he recognized me after all those hours of staring.
“Sure, tell me what book you need.” I said, tilting my head to draw attention to my face, but apparently the boy in front of me found my worn-out sneakers much more interesting.
“Frankenstein, but I need the English version.” Still nothing, though his attention had shifted to the books I was sorting.
“Mary Shelley, alright, I’ll check if we have it or where you can find it.” I said as I walked toward the desk. I could hear his slow steps behind me and what might have been a deep breath. He was probably as tense as a violin string.
“You know, we have the same history teacher; he always talks about how undisciplined we are compared to your class.” He tried to break the silence that had settled since I began typing. Useless comment, but at least he tried.
“Yeah, but if I were you, I wouldn’t believe him. I’ve got classmates that behave worse than wild animals,” I replied, not paying much attention to what I had been told or what I was saying. The boy in front of me looked like he was about to burst out laughing and he probably would have; luckily, the sound of the old door opening reminded him where we were.
“Unfortunately, it’s not available until next week, but if you want, I can reserve it for you,” I offered, looking up and finally met a genuine gaze from the boy.
I smiled involuntarily at the innocence in his dark eyes.
“If you could, I’d really appreciate it. My name is Kim Jungwoo.” He smiled and waved before leaving. I didn’t even have time to enjoy that brief moment of lightness barely five seconds later, I felt a vibration from the hoodie I was wearing.
My pager.
My blood froze.
My breathing deepened.
There was no need to check the message,I didn’t get many of them, but if it rang…
I turned toward one of the few security cameras installed and nodded.
… I knew what was coming.
The following months went by quickly, and before I realized it, spring had begun to bloom the trees. My relationship with the boy changed little by little; the looks in the library became greetings in the school corridors, and eventually, I found him waiting for me every morning so we could walk to school together.
Over time, we grew closer. I could sense his feelings for me, and every time the distance between us shrank, I felt a tightness in my throat and the guilt screamed louder inside me.
In May, our friendship reached its peak, he wrote me a letter confessing his feelings.
Three damn pages.
Handwritten.
Needless to say, I appreciated it very much and told him I felt the same but at the same time, I was trembling.
It was all part of the plan.
But the pain I felt inside wasn’t.
“Y/N, hurry up!” He shouted, climbing the stairs faster.
“I’m coming, just give me a second.” I answered. Every break, he took me to the school rooftop so we could be together, even if it was just for 15 minutes it was essential for both of us. When he couldn’t make it, he always called so I wouldn’t feel alone.
We talked about what was happening in our classes, new grades, or just how our days were going.
“The semester is almost over." He said, gently cupping my face in his hands after a short chat. “I was thinking of going to Jeju to visit my sister. Would you like to come?” He asked, then pressed his lips to mine.
“I don’t know what my family is planning, but I have to say I like the idea. I replied, smiling, then kissed him again. I had learned to love appreciate everything about him, from his peach-scented lip balm to his messy physics notes.
“Sorry, I have to go, chemistry test, and the teacher wants us in class before the bell rings." He said, looking into my eyes.
“I’ll see you in the library.”
He was far too perfect for a world like thisor maybe just for a sinner like me, I thought, watching him walk away. I had become his girlfriend, saw him every day more in love, even though I knew I had to stay professional. But he always put me first, had eyes only for me; he ran across the school to reach my classroom, listened to me, wrote me letters, and stayed at the library until closing time.
Lies on top of lies. I couldn’t stand deceiving him anymore. I hated what I was doing to him and to myself but I’ve always hated my 'assignments'.
'Don’t get attached and don’t even think about developing feelings for him' I had written on a sticky note, stuck to my mirror as a reminder.
“Why?” I asked myself, staring at the door he had disappeared through. That question could mean many things, too many, and I didn’t know a single answer. After finishing my internal interrogation, I returned to class, knowing what would happen in just a few hours.
It was the first time I had lied for this long.
“You have until tomorrow. You know exactly what to do. Call me once it’s done. I’ll send men to pick you up.”
Speak of the devil, and he leaves a message on the pager.
Clear and to the point he always said anything else was 'useless''.
He always had control over all his pawns and targets.
Especially me.
“What are you doing?” I asked him, noticing his phone pointed at me. His spontaneity never failed to surprise me, he once even shouted at the top of his lungs that he had fallen in love with me while we were walking through a park.
“Come on, smile!” He laughed, bringing the phone closer to my face with that usual grin of his. He could light up even my darkest moods.
“Stop it, you know I don’t like being filmed.” I tried to move away slightly, but he was quicker than me. He managed to catch my hand and pull me back into position.
“I like filming your beauty.” He winked without even realizing how close he had gotten, I suddenly found his nose touching mine.
Contrary to what I expected, he turned and started walking toward the library, whistling as if nothing had happened, and I burst out laughing when he said “I’m the happiest guy ever !”
Realized a few hours later that today wasn’t the right day.
I found myself at his house, eating Dakgalbi prepared by his mother. According to Jungwoo, it was the best dish in the world. I was even trying to convince his mom to let him taste a piece he had been eyeing. Meanwhile, his sister and I sat down after setting the table.
“Slow down or you’ll choke,” his mother scolded him; he was already halfway through his plate, thanks to how fast he ate.
“He basically eats for three people,” his older sister whispered to me, though loud enough for him to hear, earning herself a kick from her brother.
“Shut up, worry about your boyfriend who eats like twenty pigs put together,” he snapped back, starting a fight between the two siblings.
Their mom tried to get my attention, telling me to ignore her ridiculous children. The whole scene made me laugh.
I never would have thought our relationship would get this far, and yet I found myself in that house many times. His mom would always scold him, his sister when she was around would tease him, while he tried in every way to earn their respect but failed every time. And sometimes his dad would be there too, watching them all like he was enjoying his favorite sitcom.
“Remember tomorrow night.”
That was the last thing he said to me before leaving a tender kiss on my cheek.
It was a sentence full of emotions that I would have to destroy.
I tried not to think about what was going to happen, but the dripping sound from the kitchen sink brought back all those moments I had lived with Jungwoo.
Needless to say, I didn’t sleep a wink that night.
How could I have?
I kept replaying every single detail.
It happened often, but I never thought I would have to live through these hours of hell.
The sun rose on Saturday morning and I couldn’t feel anything anymore; I just stared out the window, at nothing in particular, but if I didn’t stop listening to my own breathing, I was going to go insane. So I turned on the radio while waiting for the streets to fill with people and cars.
I looked up at the kitchen clock to decide whether it was time to get up.
5:36 PM
My muscles, all numb, struggled at first as if they were telling me not to go. With these thoughts I stepped into the shower, and with a thousand more I stepped out; I put on jeans and a white t-shirt even though it felt more appropriate to wear all black.
The doorbell rang immediately, drawing my attention to it.
I made sure I had everything I needed and, without looking in the mirror, went to meet my boyfriend.
Hand in hand, we walked toward what we had called our table over the past few months: an abandoned picnic area by a river with just one small table still standing.
“I want to take you somewhere special.” He said while biting into the last slice of pizza.
“I told you in every language of the world that even this date is too much, and now you’re telling me there’s more?” I asked ironically. “You don’t have to, how many times do I have to say it?”
“Say it as many times as you want, I won’t ever listen. Where would you like to go?” He asked gently, leaning forward.
I thought seriously about it, I wanted to remember everything about that night. I didn’t think about the task, the lies, or the mess in my head.
I thought about his face, scent, lips, hair, smile.
“Far away from everything.”
“Mysterious Y/N, I like it!” He said, earning a playful punch on the arm.
The sun was setting, and we were watching it.
“You said you want to go far away?” He asked, standing up to face me. I nodded, moving to follow his movements, having no idea what he was about to do.
“Then I’ll take you to the moon.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, and he seemed to notice. The next moment, he jumped on me, showering me with kisses.
“Stop it!” I yelled, laughing.
When he finally gave me a break, he hugged me.
“Please, let’s stay like this forever.” I whispered on his lips.
“We can stay like this as long as you want, but please first tell me whatever you’re not saying.” He felt his light blue shirt get wet, and then realized it was from my tears.
“Y/N, what’s going on? Are you ok?” he asked, worried, holding me tighter.
“I’m sorry...” I managed to say between sobs, loosening my grip and trying not to look at him for anything in the world.
I was his world, that’s what he wrote in every letter.
But if the world didn’t deserve him, I certainly couldn’t.
“For wha—” he tried to say, but it was too late.
The dagger I had brought with me was already buried in his shoulder, followed by 14 more to his chest, just like I had been told to do.
“I’m sorry, my love, there’s nothing I can do,” I sobbed hysterically against his bloodied chest. I had no choice.
I had to do it and suffer the consequences.
“I love you, Y/N.” he managed to say weakly, barely audible.
My heart tightened more and more, a deep pain that even my soul could feel.
“I loved you too, Kim Jungwoo.”
15 notes · View notes
ajjunicesblog · 1 month ago
Text
INTIMACY
Kim Jungwoo x reader
A couple of teenagers are in a relationship filled with everyday moments, sincere affection, and spontaneous gestures but he doesn't know that behind their intimacy lies a secret that could change everything.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
[Refers to “feelings of closeness, connection, and bonding in romantic relationships”, described as the mutual feelings of closeness and attachment. This tends to strengthen the close bond shared between two individuals. Additionally, having a sense of intimacy helps create a feeling of comfort with each other, in the sense that both parties are mutual in their feelings. Intimacy is mainly defined as something of a personal or private nature; familiarity.]
It’s been 12 months since I saw him sitting alone that Friday in the library, a dictionary and a notebook in front of him, where he occasionally wrote something down after spending more time flipping through that massive book.
I had been working as a volunteer for a few months. As soon as I introduced myself, the poor owner, Mr. Lim, an eighty-year-old who always got my name wrong, hired me on the spot, gave me all the afternoon shifts, but at least my weekends were free. He was focused on reviewing English.
There was no one else but him, so I often found myself watching him, intentionally. I’ve always been good at noticing the little details; he preferred grammar over speaking, and often whispered words to himself trying to figure out the pronunciation. I noticed all the glances he threw toward my desk. He would sit there for hours, even when he was done with his homework.
Winter came quickly.
“Excuse me, I’m looking for Frankenstein in English. Do you have it?” Je asked Mr. Lim, who was comfortably getting his pipe ready in an armchair, a French essay in hand.
“Try asking the young lady in the ‘history’ section; she’ll find it in a second with that contraption.” He meant the computer. The boy gathered the courage to speak to me.
“Sorry, the proletariat told me to ask you for help.” He wasn’t looking at me. I was convinced he recognized me after all those hours of staring.
“Sure, tell me what book you need.” I said, tilting my head to draw attention to my face, but apparently the boy in front of me found my worn-out sneakers much more interesting.
“Frankenstein, but I need the English version.” Still nothing, though his attention had shifted to the books I was sorting.
“Mary Shelley, alright, I’ll check if we have it or where you can find it.” I said as I walked toward the desk. I could hear his slow steps behind me and what might have been a deep breath. He was probably as tense as a violin string.
“You know, we have the same history teacher; he always talks about how undisciplined we are compared to your class.” He tried to break the silence that had settled since I began typing. Useless comment, but at least he tried.
“Yeah, but if I were you, I wouldn’t believe him. I’ve got classmates that behave worse than wild animals,” I replied, not paying much attention to what I had been told or what I was saying. The boy in front of me looked like he was about to burst out laughing and he probably would have; luckily, the sound of the old door opening reminded him where we were.
“Unfortunately, it’s not available until next week, but if you want, I can reserve it for you,” I offered, looking up and finally met a genuine gaze from the boy.
I smiled involuntarily at the innocence in his dark eyes.
“If you could, I’d really appreciate it. My name is Kim Jungwoo.” He smiled and waved before leaving. I didn’t even have time to enjoy that brief moment of lightness barely five seconds later, I felt a vibration from the hoodie I was wearing.
My pager.
My blood froze.
My breathing deepened.
There was no need to check the message,I didn’t get many of them, but if it rang…
I turned toward one of the few security cameras installed and nodded.
… I knew what was coming.
The following months went by quickly, and before I realized it, spring had begun to bloom the trees. My relationship with the boy changed little by little; the looks in the library became greetings in the school corridors, and eventually, I found him waiting for me every morning so we could walk to school together.
Over time, we grew closer. I could sense his feelings for me, and every time the distance between us shrank, I felt a tightness in my throat and the guilt screamed louder inside me.
In May, our friendship reached its peak, he wrote me a letter confessing his feelings.
Three damn pages.
Handwritten.
Needless to say, I appreciated it very much and told him I felt the same but at the same time, I was trembling.
It was all part of the plan.
But the pain I felt inside wasn’t.
“Y/N, hurry up!” He shouted, climbing the stairs faster.
“I’m coming, just give me a second.” I answered. Every break, he took me to the school rooftop so we could be together, even if it was just for 15 minutes it was essential for both of us. When he couldn’t make it, he always called so I wouldn’t feel alone.
We talked about what was happening in our classes, new grades, or just how our days were going.
“The semester is almost over." He said, gently cupping my face in his hands after a short chat. “I was thinking of going to Jeju to visit my sister. Would you like to come?” He asked, then pressed his lips to mine.
“I don’t know what my family is planning, but I have to say I like the idea. I replied, smiling, then kissed him again. I had learned to love appreciate everything about him, from his peach-scented lip balm to his messy physics notes.
“Sorry, I have to go, chemistry test, and the teacher wants us in class before the bell rings." He said, looking into my eyes.
“I’ll see you in the library.”
He was far too perfect for a world like thisor maybe just for a sinner like me, I thought, watching him walk away. I had become his girlfriend, saw him every day more in love, even though I knew I had to stay professional. But he always put me first, had eyes only for me; he ran across the school to reach my classroom, listened to me, wrote me letters, and stayed at the library until closing time.
Lies on top of lies. I couldn’t stand deceiving him anymore. I hated what I was doing to him and to myself but I’ve always hated my 'assignments'.
'Don’t get attached and don’t even think about developing feelings for him' I had written on a sticky note, stuck to my mirror as a reminder.
“Why?” I asked myself, staring at the door he had disappeared through. That question could mean many things, too many, and I didn’t know a single answer. After finishing my internal interrogation, I returned to class, knowing what would happen in just a few hours.
It was the first time I had lied for this long.
“You have until tomorrow. You know exactly what to do. Call me once it’s done. I’ll send men to pick you up.”
Speak of the devil, and he leaves a message on the pager.
Clear and to the point he always said anything else was 'useless''.
He always had control over all his pawns and targets.
Especially me.
“What are you doing?” I asked him, noticing his phone pointed at me. His spontaneity never failed to surprise me, he once even shouted at the top of his lungs that he had fallen in love with me while we were walking through a park.
“Come on, smile!” He laughed, bringing the phone closer to my face with that usual grin of his. He could light up even my darkest moods.
“Stop it, you know I don’t like being filmed.” I tried to move away slightly, but he was quicker than me. He managed to catch my hand and pull me back into position.
“I like filming your beauty.” He winked without even realizing how close he had gotten, I suddenly found his nose touching mine.
Contrary to what I expected, he turned and started walking toward the library, whistling as if nothing had happened, and I burst out laughing when he said “I’m the happiest guy ever !”
Realized a few hours later that today wasn’t the right day.
I found myself at his house, eating Dakgalbi prepared by his mother. According to Jungwoo, it was the best dish in the world. I was even trying to convince his mom to let him taste a piece he had been eyeing. Meanwhile, his sister and I sat down after setting the table.
“Slow down or you’ll choke,” his mother scolded him; he was already halfway through his plate, thanks to how fast he ate.
“He basically eats for three people,” his older sister whispered to me, though loud enough for him to hear, earning herself a kick from her brother.
“Shut up, worry about your boyfriend who eats like twenty pigs put together,” he snapped back, starting a fight between the two siblings.
Their mom tried to get my attention, telling me to ignore her ridiculous children. The whole scene made me laugh.
I never would have thought our relationship would get this far, and yet I found myself in that house many times. His mom would always scold him, his sister when she was around would tease him, while he tried in every way to earn their respect but failed every time. And sometimes his dad would be there too, watching them all like he was enjoying his favorite sitcom.
“Remember tomorrow night.”
That was the last thing he said to me before leaving a tender kiss on my cheek.
It was a sentence full of emotions that I would have to destroy.
I tried not to think about what was going to happen, but the dripping sound from the kitchen sink brought back all those moments I had lived with Jungwoo.
Needless to say, I didn’t sleep a wink that night.
How could I have?
I kept replaying every single detail.
It happened often, but I never thought I would have to live through these hours of hell.
The sun rose on Saturday morning and I couldn’t feel anything anymore; I just stared out the window, at nothing in particular, but if I didn’t stop listening to my own breathing, I was going to go insane. So I turned on the radio while waiting for the streets to fill with people and cars.
I looked up at the kitchen clock to decide whether it was time to get up.
5:36 PM
My muscles, all numb, struggled at first as if they were telling me not to go. With these thoughts I stepped into the shower, and with a thousand more I stepped out; I put on jeans and a white t-shirt even though it felt more appropriate to wear all black.
The doorbell rang immediately, drawing my attention to it.
I made sure I had everything I needed and, without looking in the mirror, went to meet my boyfriend.
Hand in hand, we walked toward what we had called our table over the past few months: an abandoned picnic area by a river with just one small table still standing.
“I want to take you somewhere special.” He said while biting into the last slice of pizza.
“I told you in every language of the world that even this date is too much, and now you’re telling me there’s more?” I asked ironically. “You don’t have to, how many times do I have to say it?”
“Say it as many times as you want, I won’t ever listen. Where would you like to go?” He asked gently, leaning forward.
I thought seriously about it, I wanted to remember everything about that night. I didn’t think about the task, the lies, or the mess in my head.
I thought about his face, scent, lips, hair, smile.
“Far away from everything.”
“Mysterious Y/N, I like it!” He said, earning a playful punch on the arm.
The sun was setting, and we were watching it.
“You said you want to go far away?” He asked, standing up to face me. I nodded, moving to follow his movements, having no idea what he was about to do.
“Then I’ll take you to the moon.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, and he seemed to notice. The next moment, he jumped on me, showering me with kisses.
“Stop it!” I yelled, laughing.
When he finally gave me a break, he hugged me.
“Please, let’s stay like this forever.” I whispered on his lips.
“We can stay like this as long as you want, but please first tell me whatever you’re not saying.” He felt his light blue shirt get wet, and then realized it was from my tears.
“Y/N, what’s going on? Are you ok?” he asked, worried, holding me tighter.
“I’m sorry...” I managed to say between sobs, loosening my grip and trying not to look at him for anything in the world.
I was his world, that’s what he wrote in every letter.
But if the world didn’t deserve him, I certainly couldn’t.
“For wha—” he tried to say, but it was too late.
The dagger I had brought with me was already buried in his shoulder, followed by 14 more to his chest, just like I had been told to do.
“I’m sorry, my love, there’s nothing I can do,” I sobbed hysterically against his bloodied chest. I had no choice.
I had to do it and suffer the consequences.
“I love you, Y/N.” he managed to say weakly, barely audible.
My heart tightened more and more, a deep pain that even my soul could feel.
“I loved you too, Kim Jungwoo.”
15 notes · View notes
ajjunicesblog · 1 month ago
Text
Triangular Theory of Love Trilogy - NCT DoJaeJung
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
work in progress...
INTIMACY - A couple of teenagers are in a relationship filled with everyday moments, sincere affection, and spontaneous gestures but he doesn't know that behind their intimacy lies a secret that could change everything.
PASSION - A woman is caught in an intense and ambiguous relationship with a charming chef; Between passion, silence, and hidden tensions, she's part of a dangerous game where nothing is as it seems.
- coming soon -
COMMITMENT - Broken relationships and slowly emerging truths, she is forced to face the consequences of her choices and the deeper meaning of commitment to herself and others.
7 notes · View notes