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[akindplace]

You don’t have to be perfect all the time to be worthy of love - you don’t have to earn it in a way that contradicts your own humanity. I’m sorry someone made you feel that way, like you can never accomplish anything unless you are perfect in every way, that you must alway have your guard up and walk on eggshells to please everyone around you so they would deem you worthy of success, of respect, of love, of companionship.

When those basic needs are neglected, you start to believe you haven’t done enough to earn them, and you fall into a spiral trying to please someone who can’t be pleased. But I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to earn these things in the first place, that being imperfect doesn’t make you an unacceptable and inadequate person, it doesn’t make you unlovable. The person who treated you this way was never deserving of your own love, of your desperate attempts to please them. It’s on them, not on you.

The expectations they put on you were so unreachable for any human being, and you were deemed to fail, but not because you were always a failure. They were always so demanding that no one, not even themselves, could reach the desired level of perfection and pleasing behavior they asked of you. It was absolutely unfair for them to do so. And most of all, none of this was your fault. It’s not your behavior that was unacceptable - it was theirs.

You’re not unlovable. And even if their voice echoes through your head a lot repeating those awful things they made you believe about your own worth, I hope you can try to contradict them. You are finding your own voice now, one that tells you that you’re still worthy of love because you’re a human being, just like everyone else, and every person deserves respect and kindness. And slowly, hopefully, we can shift that belief in our inadequacy into one that is kinder and more confident in who we are, because even with all our flaws, we’re not unworthy of love.

[akindplace]

theofficialsadghostclub

[akindplace]

do it scared do it stupid do it badly whatever it is that's worth doing, that's worth anything at all, we do it. be it scared be it stupid be it badly. the sincerity remains the same.

[akindplace]

as a certified mountain goats girlie i’m here to tell you that we’ve done enough circulating of “i hope you die / i hope we both die” from no children & now it’s time to circulate these lyrics from you were cool instead

[akindplace]

“I reabsorb myself, I lose myself in myself, I forget myself in faraway nights, unpolluted by obligations and the world…”

— Fernando Pessoa, from The Book of Disquiet

[akindplace]

When you are overwhelmed:

Find a quieter place

I find it helpful to go outside or on a short walk, possibly with some soft music or white noise.

Getting away from loud or overlapping sounds helps immensely

I also prefer dimmer lights or natural lighting when possible.

Hydrate

Water is essential for all bodily functions, including sensory and emotional regulation.

Have your preferred water bottle with you and sip slowly. Add flavouring or ice if desired

Eat something

Again, taking care of your needs is key

If possible, get a small snack and eat slowly. My system usually keeps oyster crackers with us. They’re bland but have a good amount of salt which is important for us, as we have POTS

Most of our overstimulation is caused by being hungry and not realising it

Identify irritating clothing

Is an article of clothing too tight? Are you too cold or too warm? Is something itching?

Once you’ve identified anything that’s uncomfortable, make any adjustments you can that will remedy the issue

These solutions don’t have to be conventional to be effective. Flipping socks inside out can prevent you from feeling the seams. Dabbing cool water on your wrist and/or ankles can help cool you down.

Stimming

Stimming, or self-stimulatory behaviour, can help calm you down.

Safely stimming can include tapping your fingers, chewing gum, rocking back and forth etc.

There are also stim toys and chewable necklaces for this purpose. I have recommendations if anyone needs them

Identify and Devise a Solution

What led you to feeling overwhelmed?

Write down, either physically or digitally, what caused this and start to plan a solution

If it is a problem with completing a task, We use an app called Goblin Tools. It’s free on the website and the app is $0.99, neither of which have ads. It has a to do list that uses AI to break down your task into steps. It also has a feature to identify tone in writing among other things.

Break down your plan into small, manageable pieces. You don’t need to do everything right now.

Final steps

Communicate your needs to others. If you need to adjust your environment or tasks to accommodate your needs, tell others clearly what you need and how they can help

Breathe. You’re going to be okay. You are not a failure for needing to take a break. You are not a failure for being unable to take on everything at once.

You’ve got this

- Levi

[akindplace]

toastedbyeli

[akindplace]

cutebutweird

[akindplace]

A lot of us with chronic pain often hear invalidating things like “but you look fine” or “if you’re in so much pain, why are you doing things?”

And the thing is… at some point, we’ve realized this is our reality. There was likely a lot of grieving, anger and other feelings (those feelings likely still come back time to time) and we’ve got to a point where we’ve realized that our “good days” will be a lot of people’s bad days. That pain is our normal. And we need to keep going on living our lives.

Also important to note that people get tired of you being in pain. It sucks but it happens and because of that, a lot of us have gotten used to “hiding” our pain.

My point is that just because you can’t “see” our pain doesn’t mean it isn’t real and those little comments you may think are harmless can be invalidating and dismissive.

[akindplace]

Annalaura_art

[akindplace]

[akindplace]

who tf forgets to text someone they're genuinely interested in??????? no one

[akindplace]

there will come a day when you will look back on this hardship and be proud you kept going

[akindplace]

just finished reading a not so good book for the fun of reading it. some parts of it were so tacky, but I had fun. anyway i was thinking about that perfectionism gifset i just rebloged and yeah. even if something is not the greatest work of art, it can still be fun. i’m glad it exists. im glad the author published it. things don’t have to be perfect to serve a greater purpose. it’s good enough to do things because you like to do them.

[akindplace]

CJ The X on Perfectionism

[akindplace]

march 17th ♥️

instagram

[akindplace]

We're so focused on the future that we don't realize that today was what we prayed for years ago. Enjoy your today🌷