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3:27 am
Im nothing, everything I did with heart meant nothing! All nothing !
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٢:٤٩ am
She always said she wants someone who knows how to stay ! Not someone to love or respect ! Not someone who takes care of her or love her ! No simply stay ! I was so blind to see that staying means taking all kinds of shit and disrespect under the name of love !
So she disrespects me ! She curses me ! She tells me im the worst human being and not give a single fuck if that how she will leave things! She wants me to come back crawling rather than even ever ever thinking of making things right with me the right way ! That proves her theory of someone that knows how to stay ! What the fuck u think u are to come to my life and fuck it up like that ? And leave it at that ! Waiting for me to fucking crawl to more abuse !!!! How can someone that felt the pain ask people to come to the same pain with their own fucking feet. If u fucking loved me you would not just stick around ! You would fucking make things right ! Think about solving things the right way for once ! Instead of keep making me feel like a fucking animal who if takes a million beatings would not fucking be able speak ! You made my back, brain and heart so heavy ! U fucking hurt me and destroyed me and all you cN think of is me coming back to regardless of how the fuck i will be afterwards, regardless of how the fick i have been feeling for a month !
If words and ur ego is bigger than my hurt. Then fuck u and fuck thus love. And if what only matters is u being alone regardless of the damage you caused me then fuck every time u told me u love me bexause u dont. U only love ur self. And i dont know what the fuck to do with my love to u !!!!!!!!! U think im one of the fuckers u met !!! I will fucking kill my self and not know what to do with my true love for u!!! I will fucking suffer and suffer and suffer because u thought im just another fucking man like one od those fuckers !!!!!!! I will fucking suffer for every time u did me wrong and got me back by playing on my soft side and heart ! U knew that a single picture of a baby would tear my heart down ! You know that if i think ur suffering it would me make sad for life and forget everything that happened wirhout making it right ! But not this time because the fact that you never wana make things right is the only thing that will keep me away from u for life. W rahmet eme law bde amot. Ma rah ahkilk wala rah asamhk byom 3ala kol mara 3amltene feha ene hawyan w ene moharad ensan mawjod la tkone ente mneha msh zy ma ente bel nsbe ele. Ente bel nsbe ele knte habebte w em wlade w marte. Wala 3mrek knte eshi thani. Wala 3mre fkrt feke eshi thani. W had el farg ele lama nwagf ben eden rabna rah t3rfe yom ma el ensan ma fe jedal wala fe neqash bs el hag bbyen ene knt bde yake mrte w ene habetk hob safe. W kam ente 3amltene ka haywan bel masha3er.
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