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[an-angel-in-love-with-a-hunter]

Goodbye, Dean. x

[an-angel-in-love-with-a-hunter]

OMG I’M FAMOUS

I have woken up to all this and am………deceased:

#COCKLESLAND10

(Credit to all OPs! Photo op: _CharlieRoss_)

LIVE UPDATE:

[an-angel-in-love-with-a-hunter]

don’t stop fighting. we deserve better

(someone said it might be a good idea to post this

my insta: mxrkies.vsp

my twitter: stilinskispilar)

[an-angel-in-love-with-a-hunter]

Even if it’s in Spanish

I'm so disgusted with the C*W right now. They cut out one of the most important scenes in TV history for what? Money? Do you realize how much you could've capitalized on Destiel? We love these characters and they deserved to have a voice just as much as every other member of the lbgtq+ community. You lost the opportunity to be legendary and you spat upon the faces of your audience. But we will not be silenced! You pissed off the wrong community and our voices will be heard.

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Why I think an “I love you too” was never in the cards—and why Covid was a convenient excuse for the “traditional” ending the network always wanted for Supernatural:

I will preface this by saying that I don’t know anything for sure—but going off of what the cast and crew have said both prior to Covid and the finale, as well as during and after, I believe that the network and the show runners were always planning on taking the easy way out, and this worldwide pandemic just made it all the easier.

So—for the “I love you too, Cas” that we were all hoping for … the reason I think it was never going to be the endgame is for a few reasons: mostly due to what both Misha and Jensen have said over this past year. Misha said recently in a Q&A that he was concerned about how Jensen might react to the whole “confession” scene we saw in 15x18. Also, he said that he knew about that scene long before Jensen did; however, Jensen has said he’s known about the idea for the final episode for months and months before filming for season 15 even began—which means, the two things probably didn’t coincide. If the confession actually connected to the finale in some way (and let’s face it, if Dean said “I love you too” that’s all anyone would be talking about), then Jensen would’ve known about it probably before Misha did, so Misha wouldn’t need to feel nervous over how Jensen might react.

We all thought that when Jensen said he wasn’t happy with the idea for the ending—it might have something to do with Destiel; but given how it all played out and what both actors have said since the confession scene aired and all the buzz surrounding it, obviously that isn’t the case. They have both said more about the confession and have been more positive about that than anything to do with the finale.So, what was Jensen actually upset about? Well, I think that has changed over time and has gotten worse thanks to Covid.

Jensen has been recorded saying he’s wanted a “Blaze of Glory” ending for the boys for years. Hell, they even had Dean say it in the show when the boys were trapped inside the bunker (season 10? 11?). He always imagined a tragic, action packed ending—where both Sam and Dean go down swinging; so the idea of them making it to some big, happy reunion in heaven probably didn’t sit well with him, because it softened that tragedy. Misha seemed to have similar hopes for his character—although, Cas got much closer to that beautifully tragic and heroic ending than Dean did; and Misha was happy for that at least. He’s happy that Castiel got to go out doing something good based in love and sacrifice, rather than some clumsy ending that didn’t do his complex character justice; and his thoughts on this haven’t changed over time, unlike Jensen’s. Both before, as well as after Covid, Misha has said basically the same thing in regards to the show’s planned-ending for Castiel: “That’s how I always saw his character arc ending”. So, again—I don’t think some momentous reunion in heaven was originally scripted or else Misha would’ve spoken about the end to Castiel’s story a little differently. I think he would’ve been even more excited and pleasantly surprised about what his and Dean’s on-screen connection would actually mean for the fans and the LGBT+ community; and he probably would’ve hinted to that in the months prior to the finale being aired. He wouldn’t have spoken of “sacrifice” … he would’ve spoken of “hope”.

But the original idea for the finale that Misha hinted to in this most recent Q&A seemed to be very much the same as what we saw … only, all our favorites would’ve actually made an appearance in heaven instead of just having their names dropped (if they even got that much). I still think they were going to kill Dean in that horribly dumb way. I still think they were going to have Sam live out his life in a crappy montage without his brother by his side, and I still think that heaven would be where the story finally faded to black—the only difference Covid made was that more familiar faces weren’t on the screen.

That being said—even if Covid hadn’t been a thing, I doubt Dean and Cas’s reunion in heaven would’ve been anything more than just a bro-hug outside the Roadhouse. That’s all Becky’s Funko dolls foreshadowed, and her fears regarding Chuck’s ending were the closest to the truth; because if Dean and Cas were meant to have this big moment of love and rainbows … if the network was actually going to be that bold and take that leap, they would’ve still done it. Misha is one guy, and getting Covid-clearance for one more person wouldn’t have brought production to some screeching halt. The show runners would’ve made it happen if they actually possessed the balls to try it; but they don’t, so it was never their plan to have Dean say it back. Also, the network apparently went to the trouble of holding some focus-groups regarding Destiel and potential ideas for ending the series, which means they put a lot of thought into what would be most profitable; and even though you and I would have lost our collective minds if Dean reciprocated Cas’s love, it could alienate the show’s market in certain parts of the country and the world, and this show has made them a lot of money over time, and will probably continue to do so if they just played it safe; so, that’s what they did. They played it safe so they could re-run it for years to come, and never have to actually own up to anything they implied or even flat-out said over the years.

To support this—in that pre-show send off featuring all the cast and crew, Misha talked about how we were in charge of our own endings. That was filmed before Covid. That was filmed before whatever plans that were made for the show, had to be adjusted. He knew that many of us would be disappointed that they took Cas’s character so close to that massive edge that would’ve made history in the TV industry, and then backed off of it right at the last second. He knew that nothing was going to come of it, so he told us that we could make it better, and we should—and he would support us with the better-endings we imagined, because he agrees with us more than the show he’s given his last twelve years to.

Finally, there’s Jensen. Like I said before—I think Jensen expected something more tragic with the finale, like Kripke had envisioned from the start, but when a happy-heaven ending was proposed, he needed some time to digest it. I do think he did digest it though. I think he realized that the fans would need to see the boys happy and in heaven with all the ones they loved, because so many of us identify with those characters. I think that he began to understand that, and he even began to get excited about it … but then Covid happened, and suddenly, that ending began to change. Jensen saw that slowly but surely, the finale was shifting into something no one would be happy about. It was some blurry-medium (like Sam’s wife) between what was originally planned, and what the production team could actually get away with. His support seemed to dwindle before our eyes. He went from “Yeah—I learned to be excited about it” to “I get it” to almost a dead-silence over the entire thing. That ending that “didn’t sit right with him” wasn’t justifiable anymore if all the people that fans have loved for years, couldn’t be there … and Jensen knew that, so doing that weird half-ass ending where they basically erased all those supporting characters, felt very wrong, so Jensen got very quiet about it. Even when the finale aired, he was pretty damn quiet.

He just “put his head down and did the work.”

And that is so horribly tragic to me.

I think though, that this crappy ending is what the network really wanted anyway. They wanted it to just be the boys. They didn’t want to have to field all the potentially “gay” things from the chemistry between Cas and Dean. They figured the confession was enough to placate us, and then when Covid happened, they realized they lucked out even more and could just leave it there. Hell, they didn’t even need to have Misha on set anymore because – if they weren’t going to address the confession anyway, why bother? They could just say “It started with just the brothers, so that’s how it’s ending” and blame Covid when anyone tried to question it. It all worked out in a way that allowed them to just sit back and wash their hands of all of it, wash their hands of us.

Wash their hands of the actors and cut the ties they said that they valued.

I think they were willing to hurt just about everyone to reach their bottom-line, and hiding behind a worldwide pandemic was an extremely convenient circumstance that allowed them to get away with it basically unscathed.

[an-angel-in-love-with-a-hunter]

he could not sit sobbing on the floor for the entire episode, they had a fight to face. he couldn't bloody his knuckles against a door again, a violent reaction like that would be antithetical to the POINT of what Cas said and his character growth and his self-actualization and letting go of his anger. but people gloss over subtle, devastating reactions (like the end of 15x18) to spout nonsense about the MOST loving character not caring? sorry for ranting at you but please i'm so frustrated.

Dean cares a lot and he loves with his whole heart. The problem is that he doesn’t know how to show it with words, but you can see it in his expressions and in his actions.

Dean has been extremely repressed during his whole life. John basically forced Dean to swallow his feelings and turn them into anger. You can see his terrible parenting in this gifset I made a while ago.

But not only John did this to Dean. Bobby, who was the real parenitng figure in Dean’s life, also made Dean repress his feelings

(gif credit @mooseleys)

Even Sam at one point told him something similar

(gif credit @livingthegifs)

I’m aware that the last scene is from when the siren had posioned Sam to get Sam and Dean to fight against each other. But still, both gifs are from season 4, when Dean had so much trauma about the things he had donde while he was in Hell, and his family was like “Just get over it, you aren’t the only one with shitty stuff going on.”

No wonder why Dean swallows his emotions all the time. No wonder why it is so hard for him to speak them out loud. That’s why he speaks with actions and face expressions. He feels so fucking much, and he has been raised to believe that’s a weakness. So Dean doesn’t use his words and lets all those feelings out in the shape of gestures. But unless you know Dean, you don’t know the way he expresses his love.

But Cas does. He knows Dean.

Also, let’s not forget that every time Dean needed to talk, really talk, he talked to Cas, because Cas listened to him, Cas is someone who has never forced Dean to swallow his feelings. See for example 14x14

Or 10x09

(gif credit @subcas)

Cas lets Dean let out his emotions, he lets him vent and he doesn’t judge him. Dean can open himself to Cas and he manages to do so, but it is still hard for him, because all his life, every time he showed an emotion, he was told to swallow it and turn it into anger.

No wonder why Dean still can’t use his words. But he speaks his love in so many other forms. But you have to know him to see it.

[an-angel-in-love-with-a-hunter]

Supernatural 15x18 Despair / 15x19 Inherit The Earth

You changed him, Cas.

[an-angel-in-love-with-a-hunter]

Is Destiel Canon Yet ?

11/5/2020: Yes.

[an-angel-in-love-with-a-hunter]

Is Destiel Canon Yet ?

11/5/2020: Yes.

[an-angel-in-love-with-a-hunter]

Kill me

i can’t believe this version of castiel, and this version only, saw dean winchester’s tarnished, blackened soul in hell and immediately thought, “this is the one i’ll follow to whatever end. this is my heart. this is my life.”

from the moment castiel first laid a hand on you in hell, he was lost…..

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ok hear me out: castiel is actually present when they celebrate his son’s birthday. SPOILERS for 15.14 Last Holiday

“Sam said you were…baking?”

Dean looks up to find Cas standing in the doorway, a little awkward, hair a little windswept. He immediately has a grin for the angel. “Yeah! I– Well. Tried my hand at a birthday cake!” He waves Cas over to where he’s standing at the counter, his masterpiece already covered on the cakestand.

“Yes, he told me about the celebrations and the…wood nymph. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to help.”

Dean shakes his head, pressing his lips out a little. “Nah, it’s cool. We handled it. Or, we didn’t handle it, and then we did. She wasn’t bad, really. Just needed to understand the bigger picture.”

Cas squints like he doesn’t really understand but lets it pass. “I’m surprised that you baked your own birthday cake. Actually, I’m surprised you didn’t opt for pie, instead.”

Dean looks up at that, smiling that smile he seems to only have for Cas. “No, I– First off, it should absolutely be pie and cake for my birthday, okay? We spare no expense, you hear me?”

Cas raises his hands in surrender, but he’s smiling too. He smells like heaven – like the brittleness of winter air – and it makes Dean clench his jaw. He powers through it, though, because Cas rolls his shoulders back and tips his coat off. Cas isn’t of heaven, not any more. He belongs here, he belongs with his family.

“And second, we’re not celebrating my birthday today.” With that, Dean lifts the cover and reveals his handiwork in all its crooked, homemade glory. Okay, it’s not as perfect as Mrs. Butters’s had been but he had tasted some, the cake and the icing, and it was good and besides. He made it, all himself. That had to count for something.

Judging by the look on Cas’s face, it counts for everything. “Oh Dean,” he says. His shoulders are down and that closed-mouth smile has broken into a full, wide grin. Reaching over, he puts a hand to Dean’s arm, just below the shoulder. “This…will mean a lot to him.”

Dean tries to shrug it off, hide his smile, but that’s sorta what he was hoping for. Words aren’t the easiest for him and he thought he maybe hadn’t done as good of a job as he should’ve when he and Jack were in the dungeon so… Cake.

Dean clears his throat and covers the cake again, passing the candles and lighter to Cas to carry. Before they make it out into the hallway, Dean stops Cas and then they’re just two idiots standing in the hall, one of them in a tie and shirtsleeves, one of them in an apron. “I’m glad you’re here, for this. Wouldn’ta been right to have the kid’s cake without you.” Cas smiles again, lighting up from the inside and so Dean finds it himself to add, “And I’m just…glad you’re back, too.”

They smile at each other a little longer and then finally make their way out to Jack and Sam. They sing happy birthday, Jack blows out his candle, and in the semi-dark that falls around them, Dean tilts Cas’s chin up with one hand and presses their lips together.

They don’t break apart until they hear Jack’s gleeful laughter: “I got my wish!”

-

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I’M FI N E

[an-angel-in-love-with-a-hunter]

The trailer made me do it. I’m sorry. Have some DeanCas and Empty feelings

======

“Dean, wait, stop–”

Blood rushes in his ears. His heart fights and rages inside its cage, hitting and pounding hard against the surface, faster and harder and faster and harder– his legs can’t stop– won’t stop– how could they stop? There isn’t a way for them to stop, no, not anymore. Not now that he knows what he knows. How could he possibly stop after that?

“Dean! Look at me, Dean Winchester!”

He tries to control his breathing, but the force of his exhale feels like a dragon expelling a raging inferno. He doesn’t heed Castiel’s words to stop and continues to power down the hall of their bunker. Where is he going? He’s not sure, but he’s not stopping to find out. How could he? Not now. Not ever.

“Dean!” An attempt to grab his wrist is made. Dean accelerates his speed just enough that it misses. A brush of desperate fingers against sandpaper skin. It’s enough for the tears in his eyes to make a second appearance that night and, like before, he fights tooth and nail to keep them at bay. He won’t cry. He won’t break. He can’t. Not here. Not now. Not in front of him. How could he?

Now that he knows, how could he?

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[an-angel-in-love-with-a-hunter]

Remember the Cockles selfie™?

In this essay I’ll simultaneously try to prove that:

I found the place Jensen and Misha went to dinner.

Quarantine means *too much* free time.

I’m positive it was Taken at Chambar Restaurant in Vancouver. It’s the same place where this picture was taken: 👇🏻

Jensen didn’t use a filter, that’s the result of the peculiar interior design chooses.

Here are some example of photos taken by people inside the restaurant while it’s dark outside. Same marble tables and candle holders amd same wierd lighting...

Bonus 🏳️‍🌈

[an-angel-in-love-with-a-hunter]

never forget that in the middle of the apocalypse dean thought it necessary to point out how cute cas looks when he’s sleeping and sam was like, “dean, the world is ending and cas is not supposed to sleep, pls focus on something other than him being cute”

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