an-ishka

[an-ishka]

Kill shot

I love him, I’m so fucked.

Two nights in a row ? Boy you’re so sweet in my apartment, so cool on the dance floor, so tall among all the party people.

He has to go back to his city.

I love him so much

Save me

I don’t wanna let his hand go

I don’t wanna stop looking at him

I love having to raise myself on the tip of my toes to kiss him

It never happened to me before

Thank you for showing your love

Thank you for making me feel so safe

Thank you for cuddling me and healing the open wound

Love is so soft in your arms.

[an-ishka]

July 02nd, 2025 : Moving on

My girl Melva just moved with me and we now are 2 messy artists fighting against the brutality of capitalism !!!

To be honest we are so excited I’m going to make webcomics about it, it will bring people to be there when I’ll publish my main project Dérive !

She’s so fun, love her tastes and the vibe we have ((literally sleep in the same bed as nana and hachi lmao )

She makes me so motivated sooooooo

🍓 To do with my art

Draw webcomics (as warmups)

Post it in webtoon

Post it on yurai

Work in for insta and zines

Schedule to draw Dérive

[an-ishka]

Jutro

Sometimes I collect old cigarettes butts in pubs ashtrays.

[an-ishka]

miffy in foam form ☕️

[an-ishka]

I don’t like plans because I prefer keeping the open possibility of meeting my best people ✨« unexpectedly » ✨

[an-ishka]

June 12th, 2025

Today I was supposed to work like a lot but I took time to make some burek and loaf too. I really want to heal I really want to heal, plus I meet Nazim tonight and he was up for a burek date which was the motivation I needed to actually cook.

Look at me Felipe, I fucking made that dread and I’m sober, I don’t give up

I’ll once again pretending I live in my own vegan Pekara !!

[an-ishka]

I wanna cry cuz I can’t afford to live the love stories I could with my lovers

Because I’m so fucking traumatised.

And I keep believing the will never love me back the way I do or hurt me.

[an-ishka]

A late night blunt is so fine to just think about how far you are from me, and how I wanna see you…

[an-ishka]

I think I don’t like being respected in sex.

But if I really love you, I couldn’t even except you to touch me.

[an-ishka]

Who ever you are : If you make me dance I’ll fall for you.

There are people that wanna date me. Both, girls and guys are really pretty and I act kinda interested but not to much and you wanna know why ?

Because I wanna be with Nicolas !! I wanna be with Felipe or listening to music while walking with Bastien !! Like it’s OKAY I get it I fall for my friends but it’s so strange being so aware of my needs and affection langage and still saying « yeah » to new ones even if I know I’ll be missing my dearest one. But I have to face the fact that I can’t be with my friends every day so I’m I filling the blanks ? I mean I am genuinely curious of new people but it stops ultimately when we have sex.

I wanna say yes to the guy and that girl but I already told Théo and Thibo I was okay to date them this week but I also want some time with my friends… and I end up accepting because I’m afraid of being to much love for my friends (even if they know my feelings and love me the same way)

[an-ishka]

June 1st

I could never be in couple with someone that says « I’ll go home early » and actually does.

[an-ishka]

Gosh if only I could spend my life smoking ciggies to music

[an-ishka]

It’s almost summer

Yesterday, I was with this friend of mine I really really like. They is so trustworthy, they always help us when we encounter emotional dilemma, they is the one that helped me a lot understanding my polyamorous behaviour.

I invited them over at a friends party (my mission cuz this friends who organises the party is trying to date them, but Bastien (aka they) was not available and asked me for a night together like TONIGHT.

We walked the streets in music and made stops at bars to discuss with very nice people, after what they asked me if I wanted to be the first to discover their apartment.

They live in another time, like middle age but poetic. We listened to their vinyls and drank a bit of vodka. This time was perfect it was sweet. Even if Bastien doesn’t dance, I love laying down and close my eyes to the music with them.

Thank you Bastien, I’m so grateful I got you in my life (and no shade to my friend you’ll date them someday !!!!!)

[an-ishka]

Everything I feel returns to you somehow

[an-ishka]

Sleeping on his sofa, after getting loved and harassed by guys and girls I don’t even like

I feel so lonely

Why are all the persons I love in the forbidden kiss area

Yesterday I was at this guy’s made love to me for hours

I mean I shouldn’t complain like it’s not even like I was unattractive

But WHY do I only love forbidden persons

His sofa is soft

It’s the second time I sleep on this week

Is my place really in this apartment ? Filled with love and future for both of them ? Why do they even like to have me there when I’m jut a little soul bleeding for love

[an-ishka]

There’s this boy, taking care of me. No matter how dumb I can be next to him, no matter how many times he saved me this week, he’s so sweet. How can a heart even be that big ? Monday night, I got injured and robbed and he was there for me, giving me a place and arms to rest. We listened to music together, exchanging Colombian and Balkan songs … and every problems stopped existing. I loved this relationship. I love being like “oh ? You ? There again? At the same party ?” As we did not make it on purpose. I loved the smile on his face when he looks at me and oh my god I love when he gets in touch to make me move and dance !! I wanna be an equally good friend to him, because he deserves the best. BY the way he never stops surprising me with new skills ?? Like boy is there anything you can’t do ?? I mean is my aim to be the clown in this friendship ???

[an-ishka]

Night call

I was planning to draw the whole night, but he invited me to come over at the pub

He took my hands, my hips and heart and we danced together for hours

He is such a good teacher , I love the touch of is skin against mine. He was hot and sweating a bit, my feelings went wild between his arms