Call me John. I say things.
I've got things written on Ao3 and Wattpad if you like reading about werewolves and lesbians!
https://archiveofourown.org/users/Momoisme/profile
https://www.wattpad.com/user/Destructionofsanctum
Look, if you're starving in a post-apocalyptic wasteland and suddenly someone is like 'oh I have tons of food and it just happens to be meat do you want some lol' you CANNOT act surprised when it's people. You simply CANNOT.
"i won't be coming back here" is the funniest possible thing you can say to a customer service worker. you're at your place of work and someone comes in, acts like a jerk, ruins your day, and then, paradoxically, finishes up by reassuring you that this interaction is now over and you'll never have to see or hear from them again
‘your parents just want what’s best for you’ that is objectively not true for a lot of people, sometimes they want what’s best for them or what looks the best to other people, or what they think is best for you is based on outdated, backwards and messed up values & beliefs. even if their intentions aren’t bad doesn’t mean they even remotely know what’s good for you
Have I mentioned lately that I loved D&D: Honor Among Thieves? Because I absolutely adore that movie and really really really REALLY want a sequel, or at least more works from the production team and every actor in it
God just. Every moment of this movie lives in my head forever rent-free. I need to watch it again.
traditional child-rearing sensibilities maintain that if a mother gives her son attention he’ll turn out gay, and if she doesn’t he’ll turn out autistic. if this is true, then logically every gay autistic person was raised by a mother in a constant state of quantum uncertainty, simultaneously giving and not giving affection. i call this hypothetical parent georgine bauer—schroedinger’s mother
When I was little I had an irrational fear of when you tried to turn off your Windows XP and the screen would gradually turn Grey as you choose which power option to enter