angstycrying

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About 1 out of 5 Parental!RoyEd fics: “When his youngest subordinate goes missing, the Flame Alchemist will stop at nothing to bring Ed safely home.”

Meanwhile, Roy in Brotherhood: “Fullmetal’s gone missing up North? Hmm, sounds like a personal problem to me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a coup to plan.”

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Ling: You came up to my desk and said, ‘This may sound weird, and there’s no way for me to know this, but that mixed berry yogurt you’re about to eat has expired.’ Edward: That was the moment you knew you liked me? Ling: Yup. Edward: Can we make it a different moment? Ling: Nope.

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Kaeya: Father!

Kaeya's biological father: *leaves, abandoning his son*

Kaeya: Father?

Crepus: *dies*

Kaeya:

Varka: Come on, son, admit it~

Kaeya:

Varka: Go ahead, call me an important parental figure in your life~

Kaeya: Then you'll leave too.

Varka: No way. I won't leave you, son. We'll be fine.

Kaeya:

Kaeya: Father.

Varka: *goes on an expedition around the world for many years*

Kaeya: BITCH

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Kaeya: So, to put it briefly: I lost my father for the second time, got into a fight with my brother, and was kicked out of my home. I received the sign of recognition from the Archon of the country I was supposed to betray, and I have no idea how I'm supposed to face life anymore.

Kaeya: What do I do now? Die? Leave the city? Surrender and succumb to the curse of my people?

Varka: Hmm...

Varka: You need to change your style, son.

Kaeya: Wha-

Varka: Dressing like a game character will give you confidence and strength to continue living!

Kaeya: N-no, stop-

Varka: How about mine style?

Kaeya: ....

Kaeya: ...I'm not the main character, sir. I'm sorry.

Varka: That's right. You're better, Kaeya.

Kaeya, sobbing: Fuck it, let's go, sir

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Albedo: I created man and lost nothing for it.

Alphonse Elric: Wow.

Edward Elric: What a fucking great guy you are, fucking fantasy worlds, fucking Truth, fucking everything-

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Nobody:

Kaeya, when Diluc just exists: 😲🥺😮‍💨 (😏)

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Did I like it? I LOVED IT CRAZY

True, there was not enough afterword with the characters who were also there - Fischl, Mika, Diluc and Kaeya, many others... I would have gladly sat with them in the tavern, really

D/N/A just because that's the mood after the quest, I'M REALLY WAITING FOR THE LITTLE DRAGON

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WANNA GET READY FOR "THE MIKU MOVIE"? Here is a basic guide to the main cast that isn't Vocaloid:

(haven't seen the movie yet but this should be helpful)

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Headcanon, since Kaeya is a child of Khaenri'ah and an atheist, he constantly teases Dahlia as "kitten" (because Kaeya knows that Barbatos won't punish him and will drink dandelion wine with him in the evening)

And the fact that Venti is allergic to cats and his drinking buddy calls the church's deacon Barbatos "kitten" makes the bard rub his nose and try to sneeze.

Diluc does a facepalm every time

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Kaeya: It could have been us, but you would have killed me right after I betrayed Mondstadt.

Diluc: PLEASE SHUT YOUR MOUTH I KNOW YOU'RE STRESSED BUT PLEASE STOP OTHERWISE I WON'T BE ABLE TO SLEEP FOR AT LEAST A MONTH AND WILL BE PROTECTING YOUR HOUSE AT NIGHT AGAIN

Kaeya: Sorry.

Diluc: Okay, just don't say that again.

Kaeya: Okay. It's just that I'm a spy, and the risk of me being judged too-

Diluc: YOU'RE NOW ON THE TAVERN'S BLACKLIST, KAEYA

Kaeya: *sad fuck*

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Kaeya: It could have been us, but I would have killed myself before the trial.

Diluc, who introduced this: Kaeya, SHUT UP

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Kaeya: It could have been us, but you didn't reveal my secret to the knights.

Diluc: I would sue myself. I wouldn't be able to sleep, eat or live if my brother was sued because of me.

Kaeya: Oh, that's sweet. Maybe I should say "thank you" and agree to come over for family dinner?

Diluc: Yes, you can. I'll wait for you.

Jean: WHY IS IT ONLY WHEN MONDSTADT IS IN TROUBLE THAT YOU ACT LIKE NORMAL BROTHERS

Kaeya: Fear of the death of a loved one, perhaps?

Diluc: We can attribute sincerity to stress and fatigue, maybe?

Jean: When all this is over, I will send you to a psychologist. Forever.

Diluc & Kaeya: Fuck

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Fanfiction writers, ragbro fans, are you alive?

I, frankly, not so much. How much I'm waiting for the update to go through Paralogism: Investigation, Albedo's lore, Varka's voice, Kaeya helping us, defending Albedo in court, but in the art standing with his back to us and at a distance...

I don't even know if I should talk about my assumptions because I'm too shocked and intrigued.

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HELP, KAEYA IS SO SERIOUS AND GRIM IN THIS POSTER, I WANT TO SEE THE NEW STORY SO MUCH 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹💜💜💜💜💜

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Fatui Adopt Kaeya AU

Grief

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LMAO😭😭😭

Imagine during the final arc of the anime instead of Maka punching Asura, she says Miku Miku and everyone wakes up and they dog pile Asura and defeat him with the power of Oo-Ee-Oo and Miku Miku BEEEAMMM (should I make this a comic, sending so you can add onto this idea in case I missed a genius inclusion thing)

- Mery😔🎀

i just wanna be PART OF YOUR SYMPHONYYYYY

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And don't judge, I just love angst

But Kaeya, who has agnosia after being tortured by the Fatui saboteurs sent by Dottore, bypassing the Cryo Archon's orders to no longer conduct experiments in Mondstadt.

Kaeya was kidnapped with Bennett (the pyro boy was just unlucky): he was tortured physically, Bennett saw it all, but Kaeya reassured the child that he was okay and they would soon be rescued (because Kaeya knew that they wanted to kidnap him, and agreed with Jean and Diluc to be bait)

But a day or two passes, but they are not saved, and Kaeya, who is not allowed to sleep and is being tortured more and more, begins to panic. The Fatui demand that he become their agent, if not voluntarily, then they will force him, and on the third day they begin to inject him with something that causes hallucinations. But even after them, he still finds a moment and helps Bennett escape: he loses consciousness at the bridge, he is carried to the Cathedral, and as soon as he comes to, he immediately leads the knights to save Kaeya. They break into the domain with a fight, give battle (the surviving Fatui manage to escape), and find a wounded Kaeya unconscious on something that looks like an operating table with a wounded face.

And then an angry Tartaglia comes to Mondstadt, under orders from the equally angry Dottore Tsaritsa because of the soldiers. Everyone treats him badly because Kaeya was on the brink of life and death because of the fatui, and only Rosaria and Jean let him see Kaeya because they know that Tartaglia and Kaeya are in a relationship (and then Diluc just died and came back to life to kill Tartaglia because what the fuck.)

And then Kaeya comes to his senses, but after the hallucinations he is a little scared, his eyes have not healed yet (they tried to get them for Dottore), and when his eyes heal, he cannot see people's faces, and this is very scary. Also, there is some problem with his vision, so it is decided to send Kaeya to the Polar Palace, so that Tsaritsa personally helps to fix his cryo, and the best healers of the Harbingers (NOT DOTTORE) help him recover.

Kaeya, Tartaglia and Diluc are going there (as a representative of the Ordo Favonius and Kaeya's brother, and it doesn't matter that he can't go to Snezhnaya)

Then they learn that Dottore left the Harbingers and began hunting the Khaenrian in order to use him to learn the secrets of the Abyss and the powers of the North Edge, with which Kaeya is somehow connected.

And sorry for that, it's just my idea.