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January Reading Wrap-up

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black (The Folk of the Air #1)

The Wicked King by Holly Black (The Folk of the Air #2)

The Queen of Nothing by Holly Black ( The Folk of the Air #3)

Beach Read by Emily Henry

Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia

The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket (A Series of Unfortunate Events #1)

The Reptile Room by Lemony Snicket (A Series of Unfortunate Events #2)

Princess Princess Ever After by Katie O'Neill

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-Sarah Ruhl, The Clean House

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Oksy idk what day of productivity this should've been, i missed so many entries I honestly had no energy and I've been stressed shit cos I have assignments to do, some of which are group works (TT), so I did what I always do when im neck deep in anxiety, nothing. i read and i slept and i procrastinated everything else.. I've been reading shadow and bone trilogy because I want to read the six of crows duology, I'm on the third book and I cannot explain how much I'm dreading reading this series, I just want to get over w this asap *sighs* The first book was alright, the second was god awful, I just read it yesterday and i don't remember a single thing, the main characters are annoying af. i wish the books were written from the darkling's pov, the fact that I have to bear w Alina's plain ass thoughts for one more book makes me want to kms..Only doing this for six of crows i know it's not as relevant and I can read the duology w/o reading this headache of a series but I've put myself through it for two books now, what's one more

Also, I ordered my first kindle, I've wanted it for so long and I kind of always knew that I read better and faster w e-books, I'll still buy second hand books from really cheap thrift stores/carnivals anytime I come across one but that's it. I'm not gonna spend any more money on buying new books! Really excited for the kindle!!

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11+12/ 100 DOP (8/10/21 - 9/10/21)

I received an email from uni informing there's a possibility we might start offline classes soon. I am soo excited, i really miss my roommates, we got so little time together and I want to spend my last year in college with them! Things I did:

🍩 rearranged my desk

🍩 thorough kitchen cleaning w mum

🍩 started reading A quiet kind of thunder by Sara Barnard

🍩 tutored my sister

🍩 turned in a voc subject assignment

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10/100 DOP (7/10/21)

I had to attend a gathering and I was too tired by the time I returned to do anything, so I just slept and because I am literally a sloth, i woke up in the evening. Anyway, I taught my sister math when I woke up from my 6 hrs nap and then finished loveless. weird day

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9/100 DOP (6/10/21)

🍩 Continued reading Loveless, and..aight so where can I get myself a gay ace college parent who'd validate my identity and tell me they're here for me because God knows I WANT TO HEAR IT!!!

🍩 went cycling

🍩 watched 3 stand-up shows with a straight face.. and some ocassional chuckles

That's it. That's all for today. I'm grieving my laptop, give me a break😣🖐️

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8/100 DOP (5/10/21)

This mercury retrograde is really fucking w me y'all. I'm finding it really hard to stick to my plans and it's been miserable. On top of that, I broke my laptop display and I have no idea what I'll do without it now. The only thing keeping me from going feral is getting out of my house everyday to cycle. I just hope I get through this disastrous ass time asap. No more chaos god please. Let me do my little tasks in peace!!!

This is me trying.

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7/100 DOP (4/10/21)

very emotional today for some reason..have been crying relentlessly all day😗✌️. Anyway, my last read was a book about child grooming/manipulation and then i immediately started reading another that dealt with the same issues cos i wanted to read more on the topic and it became tooo much to take in. So, taking a break from all the depressing heavy stuff and reading Loveless by Alice Oseman, I had to pick it up someday, I've been delaying it for months now!!

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6/100 DOP (3/10/21)

today was one of the lows. I didn't study, struggled w my work-out, tried to read then stopped cos i wasn't enjoying it as much, had to really push myself to go cycling, took a very big nap in the afternoon which means i won't be able to sleep on time at night and then won't be able to get up on time tomorrow *sighs*. Anyway, im reading rn and will probably read until midnight. Hope I wake up in a better mood tomorrow! please god a little cheeriness is all im asking😣🙏

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This month's tbr has so many books on topics that are triggering to me but i cannot not read them now that i know they exist ( I NEED TO KNOW I WASN'T ALONE IN MY TRAUMA OKAY) hope i make it out alive 😗✌️

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5/100 DOP (2/10/21)

IT STARTED RAINING WHEN I WAS OUT CYCLING!!! please i had to ride back home so fast i was literally huffing like a dog behind my mask but it was epic i had fun!!!

🍩 worked out

🍩 read a little

🍩 cleaned my room

🍩 made notes of inferential stats

🍩 went cycling

🍩 tutored my sister maths for an hour

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4/100 DOP (1/10/21)

Today was very pleasant. I did all the things I planned on doing (except maybe drinking 8 glasses of water, i should install a water reminder app smh). Now all I need is to up my time management game. Time schedules is a big no for me, they scare me so much. I get demotivated if I miss doing a thing at its designated time. So I'll stick with to-do lists, they've been working out great for me but I'm still not managing my time as effectively as I should. I need to find a system where I don't waste too much time but also don't overwhelm myself by taking too much load as I'm just getting back after a vv long slump. Hope I figure out a plan!! Today I:

🍩 worked out

🍩 started working on my stats syllabus (didn't cover much but im so happy i finally got on with it!! bye bye slump era you'll not be missed). Also, made notes:D

🍩 organised my computer

🍩 went cycling in the evening :D ( i get so giddy about being out in the evening alone, it's the little things so true<3)

🍩 read for an hour :)

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3/100 DOP (30/9/21)

Online classes don't do it for me so I've fallen very behind on my syllabus. I have tried finding a way back so many times now, but I always get overwhelmed as it's too much. College doesn't provide enough source material n I have to actively look for the things I should learn, which I'm not doing a very good job at lately, so it's been mentally exhausting. I went through some online courses which I think will help me get back. Planning the entire schedule beforehand doesn't help me, so I have picked a topic I want covered within a week and I'll decide about the next when I'm done with this one.

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“Then why do they keep saying it? Because it’s not just this journalist. It’s every woman who comes forward. But if someone doesn’t want to come forward and tell the world every bad thing that’s happened to her, then she’s what? Weak? Selfish?” I throw up my hand, wave it away. “The whole thing is bullshit. I fucking hate it.”

- Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa

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September Reading Wrap-up

The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater 4🍩

The Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater 3.5🍩

Blue Lily Lily Blue by Maggie Stiefvater 4🍩

The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater 4🍩

Opal by Maggie Stiefvater 4🍩

Call Down The Hawk by Maggie Stiefvater 4🍩

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by  Taylor Jenkins Reid 5🍩

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell 5🍩

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-Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa

Even though this was an extremely tough read and i felt like i would throw up any second, it was really important. The only dissatisfaction for me was that it focused so much on the abuse, the grooming, the time when it happened and very little on the aftermaths of it, when the real truth sunks in; the acceptance, the grief, the rage, the healing, which is why the repetitive abuse chapters felt nauseating and irrelevant to me. I wanted more moments of Vanessa accepting that it wasn't her fault, moments of her being furious at him, more of her therapy sessions. Especially after the one when she said she doesn't know how to think of it as abuse and not love. I wanted more of that. That journey of hers. I get that there's no quick healing from something like this and that this ending was more real but I couldn't help but want more!

Also, Strane didn't deserve such an easy getaway, i wanted to see him suffer, like really suffer

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2/100 DOP (29/9/21)

It was my first day of working out yesterday, so I woke up with extremely sore limbs today. On top of that, my allergies decided to act up and it's hard to get things done when you're sneezing 20 times/min . Anyway, I was able to do my workout once the allergies calmed down a little, so that's a relief! I didn't want to skip on the 2nd day itself. Also, had to rearrange my shelves and make some art prints for my walls, which i've been putting on hold for a long time now, but i didn't had the energy today, hopefully i'll do it within the week!

🍩 Worked Out

🍩 Finished my last book of this month

🍩 went cycling :D, which i love so much but don't go often cos im terrified of stepping out of my house alone. It was fun but i wish i could just go out for a walk without getting anxious. I'm planning to add cycling to my daily routine, i need to get a hold over this agoraphobia

🍩 Sneezed a lot