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[ashleycarmonax]

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[ashleycarmonax]

[ashleycarmonax]

You’re healing every time you

get out of bed because there’s something you’re excited about.

don’t think about people who left.

clean the clutter in the room and dishes in your sink.

smile at yourself and random people.

do something kind and out of the blue to make someone happy.

work out or meet with friends even though you have no energy to.

calm yourself down when your thoughts race.

remember to drink water.

don’t dwell on things you can’t control.

do things good for yourself, even though you have no motivation.

tell yourself that you’re growing from this, and you won’t feel like this forever.

[ashleycarmonax]

The trauma of the nightmare does not simply consist in the experience within the dream, but in the experience of waking from it. It is the experience of waking into consciousness that, peculiarly, is identified with the reliving of the trauma.

And as such it is not only the dream that surprises consciousness but, indeed, the very waking itself that constitutes the surprise: the fact not only of the dream but of having passed beyond it. What is enigmatically suggested, that is, is that the trauma consists not only in having confronted death but in having survived, precisely, without knowing it.

What one returns to in the flashback is not the incomprehensibility of one’s near death, but the very incomprehensibility of one’s own survival. Repetition, in other words, is not simply the attempt to grasp that one has almost died but, more fundamentally and enigmatically, the very attempt to claim one’s own survival.

If history is to be understood as the history of a trauma, it is a history that is experienced as the endless attempt to assume one’s survival as one’s own.

Cathy Caruth, ‘‘Unclaimed Experience’’ -- writing about Freud’s interpretation of trauma and nightmares.

[ashleycarmonax]

unknown

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[ashleycarmonax]

what i like about her is that she blooms whether you water her or not. whether you give her light or not. she exists without your existence.

iambrillyant  (via wnq-writers)

[ashleycarmonax]

i wish you were with me right now i want a 2 hour long hug

[ashleycarmonax]