ask-shane

[ask-shane]

I BALLPIT’D TOO HARD THEYRE INVADING MY REAL LIFE

- JAX (PLEASE HELP)

( also me reveal??? crazy. )

good yoba they got you. just goes to show that it could be any one of us… am i next?

[ask-shane]

this but it’s shane

[ask-shane]

shane. oomf is adamant that you've never seen a single episode of nichijou, while i am a firm believer that you've seen the entire show. which one of us is right 🧐🧐🧐🧐

i’ve seen it floating around the internet here and there, but i’ve never actually bothered to pick it up. your friend might be closer to the mark with this one. sorry to disappoint ya.

[ask-shane]

*earth shattering fart*

if you’re that committed to the bit you should carry around a button that makes that earth shattering noise for you. so you don’t have to make the world explode every time you want to troll a little.

[ask-shane]

Me and my husband are in love with you

oh.

uh. good morning guys.

[ask-shane]

Sometimes you really do talk like the father of a 7 year old I swear (said with deep affection)

i have jas, she counts for something.

i think that’s partly where it comes from. the other half is deep seated wisdom that can only be earned when you work at a soul sucking mega corporation.

[ask-shane]

you’re an essential person around here. of course your presence is liked.

and hell yeah! delicious gyro saves the day. good food tends to do that. congrats on your journey on t so far. to think i’ve been here with you for that long is making me a little teary… you’re doing great, keep it up!

please dont melt in the heat my friend

*fans you with a newspaper*

aside from that, howve ya been? holding up well? (this also can apply to the mod bc its been a minute haha)

i’m alive. that’s as much as i can ask for, amirite? the other day the AC broke down during my shift at joja. sam almost took his shirt off on the clock... and i had to explain to him why that was a bad idea.

but i’m glad to hear from you again. this gust of wind from your makeshift fan is really helping a lot too.

[ask-shane]

ilysm Shane you are the light of my life 😋😋😋 how's therapy going? remember to take ur meds if you have any <3

oh, wow, super forward with it. i’m thankful you care to look out for me.

therapy has been good to me. a lot of talking about feelings and thoughts, which i don’t do enough of without it.

[ask-shane]

is it bad to make out with your minimum wage coworker asking for a friend is this violating osha

y’know, they always say “don’t shit where you eat”… rule number one of working at joja mart and adjacent companies.

[ask-shane]

babygirl i could show you a good time (im handing you mood stabilizers)

it’s important to the enrichment time i have? alright then.

[ask-shane]

Shaaaaaane

i hope you know that every time you look at me this is my POV. or at least what it feels like.

given the way you look at me when you need to ask me for a favor… i’d say it’s pretty accurate.

[ask-shane]

I DRANK A BEER, I DRANK ANOTHER BEER, 3 BEERS, 4 BEERS, 5 BEERS, 6 BEERS, 7 BEERS, 8 BEERS, 9 BEERS, AND A BLOODY MARY RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

HOLD ME NOWWW

[ask-shane]

please dont melt in the heat my friend

*fans you with a newspaper*

aside from that, howve ya been? holding up well? (this also can apply to the mod bc its been a minute haha)

i’m alive. that’s as much as i can ask for, amirite? the other day the AC broke down during my shift at joja. sam almost took his shirt off on the clock... and i had to explain to him why that was a bad idea.

but i’m glad to hear from you again. this gust of wind from your makeshift fan is really helping a lot too.

[ask-shane]

ah. yeah we were talking about the dashcon ballpit…

shane help it’s so warm all of the balls have evaporated

all of the what

[ask-shane]

Thoughts on the spinosaurus aegypticus?

man, they’re awesome. like if someone put a giraffe, a crocodile, and a lawnmower in a blender and let it mix. just a giant hungry creature that ate whatever it felt like. like me on friday nights at the saloon. some folks argue about whether it had that massive sail on its back just for display or if it was actually to help regulate its body temperature… we don’t really know. maybe gunther has some better information about it.

uh, sorry for rambling at you. it’s deservedly popular though. i would’ve loved to see this big guy in person.

[ask-shane]

shane help it’s so warm all of the balls have evaporated

all of the what

[ask-shane]

i hope you’re proud of me shane, im finally getting therapy <3

— “will you be my father figure (with rizz)” anon

hell yeah, that’s the news i like to hear. not whatever else is going on in the world right now.