ask-the-freelance-mercs - Tumblr blog

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dr bubby fuckin it up

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((Friend is doing drawn asks to practice making comments, if any of you are still interested in ask blogs you should go check them out))

henlo we’re back and drawing them

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Been a while since I drew tf2 stuff. Miss the days. @ask-brwn-pyrobro @ask-pnk-pybro @ask-the-sneepsnoop @ask-the-freelance-mercs

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Reasons Why I Probably Won’t be Returning to This Blog Anytime Soon.

I want to start this off by apologizing for disappearing without a trace for so long. No matter how busy I was, I should of at least left anyone who was still interested with some kind of idea where I had gone to. I just felt like it would have been cheap to pop in here with nothing to give to you guys, but seeing as 2018 will be upon us soon, I feel like it’s only fair to be honest with you guys. This blog is most likely going to remain inactive for a number of reasons that I will be getting into under the cut. 

1. School

My second semester of college will be starting on the 8th of January and if it was anything like my first semester, I will be extremely busy with that. I took 5 classes for the fall semester and 5 for the spring in order to meet the requirements for my scholarship, and while I am doing well with that, it is an a lot of work to keep up so many classes. Any free time I had that wasn’t spent working on homework assignments I tried to spend with my friends, or relaxing with video games and youtube videos. Updating this blog was the last thing on my mind, which leads into my next point.

2. Gmod isn’t the fun for me anymore

This is by no means trying to bash any of the gmod artists and bloggers who still remain active. I know you can do amazing things with gmod and all the mods people have made to add hundreds of props and cool effects, however the process just became too tedious for me. While you can do a lot technically with gmod, I wasn’t very proud of anything I was producing despite sometimes spending an hour or more setting up one image. I don’t know if it was a mix of using other people’s assets to make art that made me feel unaccomplished, or just that I wasn’t willing to put as much time into my screenshots to make them look good, but nothing about my work really felt fulfilling to me.

3. Most of the gmod bloggers I started my blog for are no longer active on Tumblr

Again, this is no offense to any active gmod blogs I still follow. I wish you all the best of luck. However, the reason I started my own blog wasn’t really to tell my own story like it should have been, it was mostly to interact with the gmodders I admired. I honestly think my blog was the most fun when I got to do character interactions or just answer silly little asks from my friends. However, all good things come to an end, and most of the blogs I started mine to interact with are gone, no longer update, or are so far and in between updates it just isn’t worth it to try for any interactions. I’m still friends with a few of them personally, but as for blogs, we just haven’t found much of a need to update characters here seeing how limited gmod and Tumblr can be for writing a complex story, which does tie into my next reason for abandoning this blog. 

4. I didn’t know or like where my story was going.

This is entirely my fault for trying to make a blog that was more character driven than story. Interesting characters were only able to get me so far if I didn’t have any engaging situations to put them in. The story my blog ended on with the demons and everything felt rushed out, messy, and nowhere near what I waned it to be. The arcs always ended like lack luster cop outs because they were more heavily driven by character reactions than actual big, impressive moments. Again, that could be attributed to the limitations of gmod, and how big scenes take a long time to pose and render correctly, but I honestly could of put a lot more effort into my writing and scene building to make them more interesting to look at. If I ever did come back to this blog, I would have to overhaul my story. My blog got nowhere near enough asks to run on them alone, so next time I’ll be sure to have some sort of basic story set up  instead of having to craft a crap one last minute to keep the blog alive.

5. What this means for the future of me, this blog, and these characters

To start off, no. I will not be deleting this blog. I think deleting a blog just because you’re done with it is a waste of hours and hours of hard work. The blog isn’t going anywhere in case people want to look back on it, and I still use it to follow other gmod and art blogs for personal reasons. As for my characters, these are the first characters I’ve ever been brave enough to put out to the public so they will always hold a special place in my heart. I keep them alive through interactions with some close friends and in most of my art pieces, since I’ve been getting much more into digital art lately than gmod. Maybe one day I’ll revive them into their own stories, but as for their time here, it’s most likely going to come to an end. I don’t much like roleplaying on Tumblr so I doubt making an rp blog for them would be anymore successful than this blog. I could make an art blog if anyone is interested in keeping up with me, but with school I doubt it’ll be updated very frequently seeing as art isn’t my degree path at the moment., but here’s a few if teasers of what my art looks like currently if anyone is interested.

Doubt I’d make an ask blog out of it or anything, but I suppose it’d be some way to share my work with anyone if they still have any interest. Other than that, I hope everyone has a wonderful 2018, with more ups than they have downs. Sorry I couldn’t leave you with a satisfying conclusion to this blog, but it was never meant to be a grand story driven masterpiece, just a little way to interact and have fun with friends. And it did its job well enough for that, but it’s time I move on to bigger and better things.

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Who among u has the best butt?

Gene: What in God’s name is your reason for asking that right now? Do you people simply not think with your brain-

Darling: Well then! Looks like I’ve been called upon!~

Gene: For the last time, no one ordered a whore!

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((Hit 200 followers awhile ago, finally got around to doing something for it! Thank all of you guys, old friends and new, for all the support you’ve shown me and my characters all this time! It really goes a long way in motivating me to make more creative things! Sorry I haven’t been here a lot lately. I’ve been doing a lot of drawing, gaming, and being a general lazyass in my free time since summer started, but hopefully I’ll get back into this blog soon. Thank you all again for making this blog so much fun to produce!))

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Whats the absolute lowest amount I would have to pay for one of you to put several large caliber projectiles through my skull and/or chest cavity? It's preferable to drinking bleach.

Gene: Well, I assume I’d charge you same rate as I would a regular customer, except you’d technically be calling a hit out on yourself so maybe I’d give you a discount. I’m up for negotiations once we off this idiot free of charge.

Luis: This…

Derrick: AYE! The weird fucka’s doin’ somethin’! He’s doin’ a thing!

Beth: You want me to knock his lights out again? I’ll take the dude out  of commission for two months this time!

Luis: This… Wasn’t how this was supposed to go…

Luis: I WAS SUPPOSED TO WIN THIS TIME!

Arin: Hold the fuck up! Am I just seein’ shit or does that dickbag sittin’ where the shadowcunt used to be look a lot like Louie? You’re seein’ this right?I ain’t just crazy hallucinating here!

Leroy: Wh- N-no! That c-can’t be him, I-… I-… Uhhh… That h-h-has to be somebody else!

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Still Alive

((I apologize for lack of updates, everyone who’s still interested. I haven’t had much motivation to do gmod in awhile and these last few weeks of school have been stressful. I’m hoping to get you more content story wise out eventually. I’d say I’m ready to answer your asks too but, uhhhh, I don’t have very many to work with right now. But I still enjoy making content for this blog, at least for the character’s sake so don’t assume I’m dead yet folks! Just resting. Hopefully will be back in the swing of things soon!~ Luv ya guys!))

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Derrick: God fuckin’ dammit! Why do I always gotta deal with the weird shit lately? It can’t just eva be normal things like other hitmen or random gang-bangers fuckin’ shit up!

Derrick: NO! S’gotta be fuckin’ demons ‘an shadow people makin’ themselves comfy in my damn house! Right when we’re ‘bout ta move out, too! Ya know how shit my property value on this place is gonna be afta this? As if the holes ‘an cum stains everywhere weren’t enough! 

Derrick: ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKAS! WHO WANTS TA GET FUCKED UP FIRST?

Darling: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

*THUNK!*

Gene: Despite the odd circumstances, I believe we have this situation quite well under control.

*growling*

Luis: LET GO OF ME YOU STUPID MUTT! I WON’T HESITATE TO PUT YOU DOW-

Beth: HOO-YEAH!

Luis: AAAAAH FUCK! WHY AREN’T YOU ALL SUFFERING BY NOW?

Gene: Whoever these people are, they seem unskilled. They put so much time into casting these strange  illusions, I doubt any of them have ever actually seen real combat before.

Madeleine: TELL MASTER THEY’RE GETTING DESTROYED BY TEENAGERS AND A DOG, BROTHER!

Casper: Yes, along with refusing to follow the plan or utilizing our clear advantage of surprise, they ran in the house separately and seem to be loosing terribly to the mortals. 

Casper: He screamed something incomprehensible and hung up. I doubt that is a good sign, sister...

Madeleine: I think maybe we should cut our losses and go home, yes? If we don’t get involved, he can’t blame us this time!

Capser: That- .... That idea has some merit to it...

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((School’s been keeping me busy with exams and final projects, so updates have been hard to do. But here’s some expression meme doodles I did to pass the time if anyone wants to see.~ Any of ya’ll who have finals soon, hope you do well!))

original expression meme [x]

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Luis: C͓̠͔̦̦͙̮͘o̡͓͖̞̥m͏̦e̖̰̟ ̙̻̕h̺̪͓e̥͈͚͎r̯̣͓̖̩ḛ̼͡ ͚̬͠y̛̳̮̺̝̥o̶̲̭͉̹̞̟ṳ ͓̤̦̞͇̫͓l̜͕̳̤̥i͖̞̪͡ͅt͉̤̩͎tl̨e̟̜̜͖̦̹ ͇̖͚̣̦̱̗̀s̺̭͈͕͓h̥͢i̱̖̤͢t̟̭͇͇̝͉!͔̮̙͕̯̕

Arin: HEY HEY HEY! EASY MAN! WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS! I-I GOT MONEY! EVEN SHADOW PEOPLE LIKE MONEY, RIGHT?

*THUNK*

Arin: OH FUCK!

*CRASH*

Luis: W͖̳͕̗͜h̹͎͎͚͓͠ý̖ ͓͕̪͉̥̮̗͘d̴̟̥͚̝͜͟ͅo̧̻̞̝͕̝̙̳ ̖̺̭̭̣̻͉y̴̨͇̯͕͘o̱̬̞̖͈̼͖u̥̬ ̶͏̬̪̹͕̗͓̮l̵̹͕i̡̠̫̬̮t̷̷̡̟̳͔̩̰̣͓̯̻t̶̢̰̱̱l҉̧͔͔̜̭̫̀e̸̗̼̦̘̳̩͝ ̢̫͈̞͎f̬̺̫u̯͚͙̮͚͕̼̞͞c͕̺͈̩͟͡k̟̯̲̫̤͕͙͘͠s͉͙̹͍͓̟̳ ҉̸͖̙̮̰̝̦͍̹a̶͏͍͈̞̰͙l̷̛͚̱̞̤͡ẃ̭a̦̭̦̙̻̼̠̯y̢̛̯̜͚͇͈̫̬͝s͎͎͓̯̫̝ ͜҉͉̠̪̩̤f̶̼̖͓̤̰̠̀͘u̴̫̘̪c̴͓͓̪̘̯̻̞ḱ̳̩̱͎̤͔̞̕͘ ̶̝̺̞̫͍̪̖͠u͏͓̭̗͙͙̠̟͈p͡͏̹̥̞̬̫ ̯̭̩̫̘̥̟͘E̤̯̩͈͘V̶͙̺͔͚̜̱͙̼̕E̳̗͖͙̲̭̼R͈̱̠̣̤̤̪͢Y̨̡̤̞̞̮̻̱T̷͈̣̬̙̜̝̫̫̀H̳̬̀̀͝I̵͎ͅN̷̩͖̖̲̘̖͇̕͘ͅǴ̥̙̮͟?̪̯͕͔͠

Gene: Derrick, please go get your spare rifle and be useful! Or any weapon for that matter! Whatever works at making that thing dead!

Derrick: Already on it, man! Trust me, I’d rather be anywhere but here right now!

Beth: HAH! Fuck weapons! I’m gonna go fight it!

*fwoosh*

Darling: Awh, come on now sweetheart.~

Darling: Where’s the fun in bringin’ a gun to a magic fight? S’just no fun if ya ask me.~

Gene: Well excused the “crippled old man” for taking an advantage amidst this madness. I can still kill quite well without a gun, mind you. It’s more of a preference if anything.

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Darling: Shut up! I’d like ta see YOU come up with a better plan on such short notice, fucka!

*click*

Gene: Alright, enough of the hospitality! I’m giving you one chance to give me a straight answer as to who you are and why you’re here! No more dancing around it, capiche?

Darling: Well ya see sir... It all started in a small place, in a little town, in a little bar, and in a little bathroom stall inside that little bar-

Gene: I didn’t ask for your life story, idiot! I asked who you are! Are you working for someone? Answer me that!

Darling: OW! HEY! Watch it with the stick, asshole! I don’t fuckin’ work for no one! M’doin this cause I’m bored, not cause I had too!

Arin: Ya know, this day’s been fuckin’ weird even by my standards of weird. And I was fuckin’ dead for nine years so that’s sayin’ a shitton.

Luis:   W̝͍̟̜̙̟͚͎̕ͅé̙̀ĺ͓̰l̛̮̙̀͡ ̷͍͍y̩͔͡o̢̭̙̖͠u̼͙̖͔̳͢ͅr̭̳̝̭̩̞̟̀ͅ ̡͚̣͢d͏̢̠̣͔͚̺̕ą̀҉̜̗̯̯̗͉̭ͅy̢̖̩̣̞̦̱̹'̷̛͔̺̺̟͎̥͔͘s̞̭͖͎̝ ̻̯̘͟a̷̺b̫̖̼̖̝͔͔͔̕͜ơ̶̶͎͖͇̯̤̖̲u̶̫̟͚̟͜t̹͎̗̦̹͔͇͓̕ ̨͖̯̜͉͖̜̜͠t̸̯͖̻̘̦̗̩̦o̷͖̺̖̦͎͎͖ͅ ͝҉̺̰͇̱g̢͖̝̦̻͎̰͠͠ȩ̡̢̩̫͓̲̣t̵̨͖͚̖̼̰̰̩̹͟ͅ ̴̪͈a̬̱͍̲͞ ̕҉̢͙̞̤̯̩ͅw̲̺̯͕̞h̜͙̖͚̗͝ͅo̵̢͔̳͉͉̞̟͟l͇̫͍͙͎̭͎̖͠e̢̩͕̭̙̹͞ ̩̞͓͍̤͉͡͠͡l̛̘͎o̢̺̦͙̥͠ṯ͖̰͍̲̥ ̡͓̹̰̹͓͓͔̹w҉͕͕̖͈͔o̥͠r̗̫̱͇͍̩s̶̷̠̲̠͉͓̜̲̜e̛͙͍͙͓̮̻̘̳.͎̠̗͍͠͡

Darling: Awh come on, sweetheart! Even I know that was a dumb idea ta draw attention ta ya’self like that! Why can no one round here come up with any good plans? S’like we weren’t prepared for this or somethin’.

Beth: I mean that’s still kinda badass... In like, a really edgy way...

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Luis: The FUCK is he doing in there!? He’s ruining everything! Do you have any IDEA how long I’ve waited for this moment? Just for some self obsessed idiot to fuck it up!

Madeleine: To be fair, he did say he’d get inside the house, yes? He did not say what he’d do after that.

Casper: Alright. Things may not seem great, but we can work with this! He’s given us a good distraction so now we just need to work together and-”

Casper: He’s already gone isn’t he...?

Madeleine: Yes. He made an over dramatic exit while you weren’t looking. Kind of ruins the point, yes? He tries too hard.

*soft thump*

Casper: I try so hard to come up with the best, most optimal plans like a good servant. Why must no one listen to me? Master will be furious again and I don’t want him to start taking my books.

Madeleine: It’s okay, brother! We’ll do your plan first next time, yes! And don’t worry about Master, we’ll blame the edgy teenager man for this! Cassius doesn’t like him much anyways! 

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Derrick: For the last time, man! I don’t know who the fuck he is or how he knows this address! Honest!

Gene: Are you really ruling out the possibility you didn’t do something stupid while under the influence? After so many times you’ve done mindbogglingly stupid things while drunk?

Beth: HEY! Maybe this ain’t as bad as ya think, cane guy! This guy could be anyone! Hell, I’ve had aliens and magical dads show up at my doorstep before, what’s the difference here?

Leroy: The difference is they u-usually call first... S-sometimes...

*click. SLAM!*

Darling: HaHAH! DARLING WINS! NOW YOU’RE TRAPPED HERE IN THE DARK WITH ME, SUCKERS!

Gene: You, do realize there’s still a bit of daylight outside and all the windows are open, correct...?

Darling: HAH! I DO NOW!

Darling: I really shoulda come up with a better plan. Maybe at least 2 steps woulda been a smart idea, wouldn’t it?

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*knock knock knock*

*dog barking and objects being knocked over*

Derrick: GODDAMMIT! SOMEONE GET THE DOG!

Beth: On it, my dude!

Gene: I thought you said you only invited two friends to help...

Leroy: I-I DID! D-do you think I have more friends th-than that?

Derrick: HEY! Sorry but, uhhh, m’actually in the middle ‘a movin’ right now, man! Whateva you’re sellin’ we ain’t interested! 

Derrick: Wait.... Do I know ya from somewhere or somethin’?

Darling: Not that I know ‘a sweetheart!~ You’d remember me if we had.~ But I’m ALL about meetin’ new people, if ya get me...~

Gene: Have you been hiring prostitutes again?

Arin: While you’re dating someone? Fuckin’ savage, man!

Leroy: A-Arin that isn’t funny... 

Derrick: I-I DIDN’T! I SWEAR! I DON’T KNOW WHO THE FUCK HE IS! NEVA SEEN HIM BEFORE IN MY LIFE! HONEST!

Luis: I can’t believe that somewhat worked...

Madeleine: Awh! Don’t cry, brother! We can do your 16-step plan next time, yes!

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Casper: And then once the third distraction is caused, Luis sneaks in through the front door while Mads causes the fourth and final distraction on the roof. During this, I break in through the back door while Darling covers any other exits. Does everyone understand the plan or should I repeat it one more time for good measure?

Darling: Yeah, I gots a question!

Casper: Yes of course! What is your question, Darling?

Darling: Instead ‘a this long, complicated plan we got for breakin’ in that I already forgot, why don’t we just go up there-

Darling: -’An use the front door?

Luis: HOW ARE YOU EVEN ALLOWED TO BE THIS STUPID? What makes you think that they’ll just let us waltz in their front door to slaughter them ALL?

Madeleine: For once the edgy teenager has a point, yes? Won’t it be too easy if they just let us in?

Darling: For you guys, yeah! Ya’ll have the charisma of a bunch ‘a rocks! Me on the other hand, can get into any place I want based on my charm alone! Clubs, homes, pants, ya name it! I can get in it!

Darling: Ya’ll just sit back ‘an watch a master at work, sweethearts! Trickin’ dumb humans is what us succubus were BORN ta do.~

Luis: I’VE BEEN WAITING YEARS FOR THIS MOMENT! YOU FUCK THIS UP AND YOU’RE DEAD, YOU HEAR ME?

Madeleine: Good luck in there! Break the leg as they say, yes!

Casper: *sigh* I worked so hard on that plan...

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Gene: You know, Derrick? It’s somewhat funny that after all these years of pestering and persuading you to find a better home, you’re finally up and leaving this crack-shack of a house to find more suitable living conditions. All it took was a relationship with actual responsibility attached to it. Funny how that works.

Derrick: Hey! This place ain’t a crack-shack, alright? If it wasn’t so cramped now ‘a days, I wouldn’t mind stayin’ awhile longer! We’re only movin’ cause Martin swears that the animals ‘an people round here needed more space ta move around! It’s not a bad house!

Gene: Oh, of course! It most definitely wasn’t the peeling plaster, decades old appliances, and multiple holes in the walls that shied him away from this place. 

Derrick: Well, umm, ta be fair about the walls, most ‘a the holes there ain’t from age... One a those was from Pablo runnin’ face first into it while chasin’ his tail, another was from when I threw a drunk fit a few months back, ‘an another was cause Martin got so excited that the cat’s meow sounded like some kinda human word or somethin’ he punched a hole right through the wall while screamin’ about it. I guess the rest is fair, though... This place is more of a bachelor pad anyways.

Gene: You always make out your boyfriend and pets to be so charming. I’m genuinely amazed you care so much about them that you’re move out of the first home you bought on your own accord. You were quite proud of yourself when you got the deed, if I remember correct.

Derrick: Ehhh... Yeah but, ya know? Shit changes, man. This time for the better! Got someone I trust enough ta I know I wanna be with ‘em! ‘An Hell! Even the Kid’s got more friends than he knows what ta do with! After everythin’ that happened he’s bouncin’ back faster than I’ve eva seen! Shit’s at a good place for us right now, man!

Gene: Hmmph... Never trust normalcy, Derrick. Letting your guard down at any point is foolish. Men like us will never get a chance at a normal, stable lifestyle. No matter how hard we try and fool ourselves, something can and WILL go wrong. It simply takes time.

Derrick: Hey! I don’t mean ta be the guy ta jinx anythin’, but what’s the worst that could happen? We’ve gone this long without any major slip-ups, the Kid’s got people ta look out for him when we can’t, ‘an I got someone I can say I love! Life’s lookin’ up for this band ‘a brothers in arms for once!

Derrick: So lighten up, will ya Smiley? Trust me!

Derrick: Shit’s gonna be FINE!