atidge2far

[atidge2far]

I missed you again—my monkey, my heart,

Still loving you despite the fact we’re apart.

It’s silly, I know, but even today some tears came,

And I cried for a few beats, looking at your name.

I don’t know what to do with all this ache—

But loving you still doesn’t seem like a mistake.

I just can’t do anything with it, it fills to the brim

It spills over my sides - and I start to think grim.

But I breathe and I count, I distract and I cope

And I laugh at the tiny piece that will always hope.

They say Love something set it free,

Maybe it’ll come back to thee

If it doesn’t - it’s probably no longer meant for you

You just keep getting out of bed and do what you do.

[atidge2far]

[atidge2far]

I’m lonely. Ha

[atidge2far]

I still check my phone, hoping you’d write ,

Still wait for your name, to shine through the blight,

Still hope you’ll remember, still ache you might see

You miss me too much to let us just be.

I still love you—god, more than I should,

It’s not brave, it’s not noble, it’s not even good.

It’s hunger, it’s hollow, it’s steeped in my pain,

A heart that remembers even under this strain.

You said what you said and I try to believe,

But hope is a ghost that just won’t let me leave.

It whispers of moments, of laughs, of your face,

Of some cruel parallel, a softer place.

But this isn’t healing—it’s silence and sting,

A tether that pulls while I clip my own wing.

It’s not fair, it’s not right, and it won’t let me sleep,

It’s not love anymore—it’s a grief that I keep.

I accepted because I was forced to, you know,

Got back on the dancefloor, put on a show.

I spun and I shimmied, I tried to belong,

But no one sees me—not really—not long.

No one looks twice, no one sees past the skin,

Nothing lasts more than a moment, none want a dance to begin.

I’m not an option, not even a thought,

Just a blur in the crowd, in everybody’s blind spot.

And so it circles back—this deep regret:

If you didn’t stay, no one else will I bet

If I couldn’t convince you -and you heard all I had to say,

If you walked away, why would they ever stay?

You knew me—you knew me—and still said goodbye.

So how can I hope now? Why even try?

This ache to retreat, to crumble, expire—

To wrap up my heart and snuff out my fire.

It’s horrid, it haunts me, it howls in my head,

So I check my phone - for words I wish had been said,

Through some ghost in the wires, some glitch in the spell—

A text that could drag me out of this hell.

I still search for a world that cannot exist,

Where maybe, just maybe, I’d still be missed.

Any text would do, it doesn’t have to be you.

It doesn’t even have to be true, it just has to tell me what to do.

[atidge2far]

[atidge2far]

[atidge2far]

I would have hugged you longer if I knew that’d be the last time we’d hug.

[atidge2far]

has anyone noticed that working for a living sucks ass

[atidge2far]

My heart calls out for this

Falling asleep together while hugging each other >>>>>>>

[atidge2far]

[atidge2far]

[atidge2far]

[atidge2far]

[atidge2far]

Is your soul okay?

[atidge2far]

[atidge2far]

[atidge2far]

"True love is not about holding on tightly, but about believing that the one you cherish will find their way back to you, no matter the distance or time apart."

And similar sentiments are kinda haunting me.

I guess coz I still can’t stop missing, wanting, loving…

I am trying so hard to just leave it all be, let life take where I need to be next… but my heart and mind are still filled with him.

Is it some kind of punishment?

I know I fucked up, I wasn’t enough.

Why do I have to keep being reminded