atrodonna - Tumblr blog

[atrodonna]

Tried my hand at writing a Petrarchan sonnet. I had to translate from spanish to english so they may not coincide perfectly but still have the same idea.

Soneto I: En vergeles con flores de papel

En vergeles con flores de papel,

nubes mudas sin afán convidar.

Misterioso el vano trono en soñar;

bello, elevado ¡O, tramposo dosel!

Piso el vidrio bajo un carpanel,

bajo trilliza Hécate y su vigilar 

de luna, fuego y magia - soy secular.

Odio nace, extranjero al panel.

¿Osas injuriar la mía cordura?

Pesadillas vistas al conocer…

¡dejadme en el sueño poder vivir!

Bastante lleva el tiempo al mover;

cuando sufre y sufrimientos alegra 

y caminos abre sin ojos abrir. 

Sonnet I: Within the garden of paper flowers

Within the garden of paper flowers,

Clouds e’er mute of crave absent lo kindle.

Throne furtive vain in be, grail hast wrinkle;

hallow beaut— O, how thy veil devours!

Foot o’er glas beneath base arches bowers,

‘neath sight long to Hecate as triple

for moon, flame’d magick, my starry dwindle.

Abhorrent birthe estrange y-past growers.

Dost thou grave mine wits for turn in reason?

Knowing keens th’ visions whirling barrels…

Now, allow my visit to wee the sun!

Time will rip thr’ou sweep silence yol’ carol;

as suffering will suffer glee’s be done 

mine paths y-die to eye’s thieven’d verile. 

[atrodonna]

Have you played American McGee's Alice? The first game, I mean. And any thoughts on it, either by itself or in comparison to Madness Returns? I just started playing it the other day, and while it's quite frustrating and the jank is almost too much, I'm quite enjoying getting to see more of Alice, as well as pre-Bumby Wonderland.

Bro 💀

I wish you all the luck in the world. Not that it is a hard gane or anything, it’s really… enjoyable. But you’re definitely going to be having seemingly unnecessary hindrances to your completion. I nearly threw my remote on several occasions to the TV.

Now, to start off at the most basic thing: do I like the first game or the second game better? If you guessed the second game, congrats, you’ve gone to school. The first game I feel like is that one piece of writing we all have, look back at and go “Too late for take-backs.”

I honestly don’t know how much you know so I’m going to walk through glass here and keep it as vague as possible. For one, the pre-Bumby wonderland, as you put it, to me, almost seemed easier to handle. Alice is going up against all she is, and although she is very self-absorbed, she does not hesitate to give herself up at the chance of an atypical, well-intending motive. In other words, interestingly enough, her easiest opponent is herself; she does not give two shits about losing herself because she is the expert at that. And that not only makes her “randomly lethal” as Cat says in the second game, but a force to be reckoned with. All this, of course, ties into her whole survivor’s guilt.

Despite the fact it may seem this way due to the year of development and how old it is, I like think this wonderland is more bland due to how little it has grown. Alice in her time at the asylum only has her thoughts and imagination as company, but when she leaves, now it is the impact of the world as well as her own. Those two clashes are brutal and she was never prepared for that.

The first game also is easier to understand, riddle-wise and such that makes it almost boring to me. But the metaphors do continue and persist.

Also, I was stuck like, on the very first part if the fame with those stupid ass vines because, like the tactical, graceful swan I am, I kept plummeting Alice into the depths of that piss water that steals half your health bar like some deal with satan. Not to mention the flying enemies - me with my shit aim was stuck there for weeks.

Overall it was okay. Played it once and didn’t play it again. I got the point. Madness Returns however, man. I don’t get tired. Go ham though, dear <3

[atrodonna]

I honestly don’t know how broadway singers survive. My school was reenacting some musicals and I played the part of Christine from The Phantom of the Opera as a favor to a friend; people, I only sang one song, and my voice is still a little raspy. And the thing is, I scream at my younger brother on the regular and now I can’t even do that. So I’ve been drowning in bile with so much resentment I started actually hitting my pillows.

[atrodonna]

Sorry if this is weird, but what is your sexuality???

Men <3

[atrodonna]

ima sound like a pussy fr, but i wanna be your friend sooo bad but u sound super intimidating. i feel like u have mad attitude 💀💀

Only one way to find out :)

[atrodonna]

what did ya think of the new chapter???

BSD CHAPTER 108 SPOILERS!!!

bro don’t even look my way; I raised my brow up as far as you probably did.

Before anyone asks, “Sword Kladenets” literally means “magic sword��� in Russian or something like that, I think. So… nothing much from that.

Fake ass bitch.

Anyway. The whole Dead Apple scene between him and his ability was like a universal click for everybody, I’m sure.

Now, I have absolutely no idea what to even think, because, as always with Asagiri, the possibility that Fyodor is actually a mother of three somehow transported into the body of an old vampire with some killing ability is just as likely as Sigma actually touching Fyodor to try and help Dazai in the next chap.

However, what stands out to me is the fact that in this chapter, it was played out to be that the real Fedya is the ‘good’ Fedya and his ability is ‘the dick.’

But like… in Dead Apple… both him and his ability… were kinda douchebags. Y’know, with the whole malevolent monologue and licking up Shibusawa’s ass- idk what he was doing.

So… for now, I stand by that he is just a bitch. Unless Asagiri wants another little plot hole for decor and aesthetic <3

[atrodonna]

I woke up today and my mom goes, “What day is it today?”

And I stared at her as if she were crazy and go, “Thanksgiving?”

My mom laughs and tells me it’s Mother’s Day and the only sound, the only atrocious, vile, malicious puny little thing that came out of my mouth was: “Oh, word?”

[atrodonna]

Mainly for @ashenburst and @kikizoshi but if anyone sees this, you may participate.

I need to write only 3 short stories. So from each category pick 1. Yes, the ideas seem vague and may not even make sense to you, but just let Jesus take the wheel or whoever tf

Sleepy Hollow:

Zeus killing the lamb

Retrieval of the book with the elder tree

Miseriom Cathedral

Little girl in the asylum

Dichotomies:

Confrontation b/w Sun and Moon

The well and the sky, idk it was cool i think

Ghost story of the man and the killer

Circus one with a bird and a clown (wink)

Adventures:

The dream to rid of all dreams

Some dinosaur one

Entering a black hole

Sea voyage into the Bermuda Triangle

Please and thank you.

[atrodonna]

I love just coming back on here and having to catch up on shit.

[atrodonna]

I read your dialogue snippets and girl wtf why dont you have your own book out or something? Im sorry if i sound fawning or weird but your writing is so mystical and riddlish, like i love it so much 😭 Its like if you brought wonderland into a style of writing mixed with Dickens. It’s so classy idk

I do have a published book but everybody is going to be real mad when I unpublish it… again. On Wattpad.

Anyway.

Thank you for your appreciation and I am much more grateful that you even decided to read it. I write as I think, and I like to create a certain bond with others through that; a theme, or a satirical callout. Or something. I just don’t really care for any recognition or… “blow up.” If I can get my message out there that is good enough. You see it or you don’t.

And not to make up excuses but every year I always pick hard ass classes and then drown in them. And along with exams I also have three short stories due for a class as well (that says something). Maybe I will publish those online. Depends. Which reminds me of something…

[atrodonna]

I read your dialogue between Irving and Dostoyevsky and im super interested already. I love people’s OCs so much and i feel like yours would just be as interesting as you seem to be!! :))

Oh my- Thank you? That is so sweet! And just for being so nice I will give you an image of miss Irving:

Isn’t she just lovely? ❤️

[atrodonna]

Drop that kin list!!! I feel like you definitely kin Fyodor, tho ;)

Hehe. No.

Man, I’m stupid as shit - for starters. And logic and ambition are definitely not my main traits either. Nor is it “ideals” or “perfection.” So…

Kin list? Eh. Idk.

1) Alice Liddell (McGee’s)

2) Raskolnikov (my bf)

3) …. Eclipsa Butterfly (i adore her)

Maybe more, I just don’t think much into how I see myself in others, though.

[atrodonna]

A promised dialogue between Alice and Nikolai. Mainly for the dearest @kikizoshi but also for anyone familiar with either or both of the characters. If there are mistakes, I did not check. I literally just remembered about this and wrote down whatever. Maybe I will revise, but perhaps raw is more… innate. Nevermind.

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Gogol thought himself to be dreaming. He stood in a massive heath, the sun sitting serenely as the birds flew over the fields of wheat and rye. He placed his hand over his eye to look up at the blue skies. The birds flew freely and without obstruction. He smiled.

Suddenly, a voice behind him.

“Forgive my insolence in saying so… but I nearly took you for a toadstool.”

There stood a young woman, thin and pale, with glowing green eyes and dark hair. She wore a peculiar blue dress with a white apron as its shield… a knife sheathed in a hilt.

He blinks curiously. “Oho! Good one! He claps his hands joyfully I would never toad-ly stoop so low!” He laughs. “What is your name, my dear?”

“Alice Liddell. And, you are mister Nikolai Gogol, yes? I confess it is not the first time my perceptions have deluded me. And perhaps not the last.”

“Oh? You know me, then? How so?” His eye peers at her with a new form of focus, head tilting under wonder’s pressure.

“Not the right question. But I suppose it is a start,” Liddell’s eyes screw up at him. “I know what you are, mister Gogol. Your nature and… vile nomenclature have made themselves known to me through the wails and screams of your unsuspecting victims.”

A line of shock struck Gogol. Possibilities atop opportunities and reasons flooded his mind as to how the young lady could have come upon such truths.

He looked at her with intrigue. “Wow! Miss Liddell, you have my full attention! Ha-ha-ha! So you know me, hm? How interesting! Have you sprung from the earth? Or perhaps fallen out of the sky? Oh! How thrilling! A quiz of my own, for my own person to host on my own!”

Liddell raises her brows. “Comedy in tragedy, is it? Trite but… recognizable. Only the savage find their worth in pain. The kettle will bellow at the pot. How reflections reflect in reflecting reflections… as reflected, of course.”

Gogol let out a delighted guffaw. “Hurrah! Hurrah! I just adore riddles! And how you speak in them! He-he! Are you a mystic, miss Liddell?”

“I know my definition. But my concealment is not of lasting relevance.”

“Hm? And why not?”

“I am no actor.”

Gogol fell silent. His merry smile reduced to a mere forced curve… placid and expecting.

“But miss Liddell… even the audience is strapped to their seats.”

“I’ve cut loose some time ago.”

“Cut?”

“Burned.”

“She plays with fire! You see a clown?”

“A flesh-feasting fungus. A killer. Murder is no means of freedom - a victim is no criminal.”

“No?”

“No!”

Gogol erupts into uproarious laughter.

“Wicked fool! Preying on the lives of others through a mere character. Maggot!”

His face has a spasm. “A monster! Yes, yes! Say it! Come, tell me where you have come from.”

Liddell was livid. “You would put the pen before the sword… not even knowing your own letter.”

“So?”

She scoffs. “Idiot. Dreadful abrasion. You corrupt these dreams with deceit and cowardice.”

“… Your observations are as keen as the knife you carry, dear. I wonder what it is for?”

“… Cutting one for two, jackass.”

[atrodonna]

Hear me out: Nikolai and Alice (McGee) have a lot in common

As in, they both are characters whose awesome outfits change depending on what their current situation is depicting (no, there isn't much evidence for this on Nikolai's part, but I will die on the hill that he has so many great outfits we never see.)

They're both fighting against mental cages.

They have good senses of humour, though Nikolai's tends to be more absurd and Alice's tends to be more dry, but both love wordplay.

They both come from authors with an interest in the surreal.

Their deep sense of empathy is a core characteristic that fuels their motivation to change.

They're both hella badass.

I could go on, but I think I've made my point. Nikolai and Alice are similar, and it's honestly a shame I can't replicate her style of dialogue, because an interaction between them would be really cool.

[atrodonna]

A short snippet of dialogue within a dialogue, between my OC Irving and BSD Dostoyevsky:

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•

“What do they say?” asked the man, dropping his chin onto his hand.

“You’d like to know?” Irving frowned. “The Tree mainly warned: ‘Trespass the Moon, and you will darken.’ She, of course, did not respond in veritable thought, rather, she employed her arrogance through means of a sneer… But you do not care for the girl’s vanity.”

Dostoyevsky grinned. “Not at all. Please, continue. This is quite the fascinating tale.”

“… ‘Then we will all die,’ is what she told him.”

“And then?”

She smiled at him wickedly. “They found a book.”

[atrodonna]

HE SOUNDS LIKE THE FUCKING JOKER! AND I AGREE COMPLETELY, WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK?!

I'm so fucking disappointed with Nikolai's English dub. Not only is it wayyy too deep. But also like. He sounds so straight and normative like the least you could do is to NOT give a terrorist who says fuck you to society daily that kind of voice

[atrodonna]

…

… I mean but how bad is it really to be stabbed in the leg?