trans people obsessed w body horror and biological inhumanity that want to look like bloodborne bosses and animal chimeras 🤝 trans people obsessed w robotics and technological inhumanity that want to look like mechs and industrial machinery
love going on callout posts for "thinks cnc is okay" and seeing people talk about how us freaks need the electric chair. fantasizing about violence is okay as long as its not sexual, funny that
harry dubois would end death note in one episode. he'd be unkillable bc he has no fucking idea what his name is and then he'd go drink driving and accidentally run light over and the killings would mysteriously stop
A second look at the human fucker community on monster tumblr
🧜♀️ Hermaid Follow
After a while you start to notice some trends in how people talk about fucking their hoomans
Vampires: This is Brother Reginald Regicus Regicum who I slowly corrupted and tempted with earthly desires across several long years until he became a creature of the night like myself. We're throwing his one year vampirization party in a month, here's the invite, if you don't come it's a personal insult, to me.
Orcs: This is Himby the Himbo who I snagged in some raid I did because I got bored on my way to the grocery store. It's funny when I make him wear cat ears.
🐻 Beard-Toucher Follow
Demons: These are Sir Good and Sir Goody. I make them wear matching collars because of how they were all but boyfriends before I enthralled them with my dark magic. You noticed their matching collars right?
Werewolves: You'll never believe this, but my human Stucky, who used to be called Lady Stuck Up, was actually a repressed and stuck up person before I helped her embrace her wild side TM.
🐍 Scaled-Scales-Scaling-Scales Follow
Naga: ...Anyway after spending 400,000 years praying I finally met the human who is the love of my life and we recited mantras together, after 200,000,000 years of this we began to *blushes* hold hands and then the gods...
Other kinds of dragons: This is King Dragonslayer the Unfucked. I use him as a display stand for my jewels when not fucking him.
(164,597 Notes)
🐙 WetterThanYou Follow
Showing the humans parts of their world they've never seen (the depths).
(9,846 Notes)
🐎 Seventaur-deactivated20230527 Follow
Man humans really are such pathetic creatures
🐎 Seventaur-deactivated20230527 Follow
Stop reblogging this as a human fucker post! I advocate for exterminating those pests! It's literally in my bio! Human Fuckers DNI!
👿PazuzuOfficial✅ Follow
Hey OP we need to 'talk' IRL. Don't bother turning on your location, I already know it.
(369 Notes)
🐺 HereWolf Follow
Seeing elves in human fucker communities is always such a "bro thinks he's on the team" moment. Oh yeah you're so different from humans with your pointy ears and... oh right that's literally it.
🛣️Elf-Hater Follow
Elves are like humans but lame and pretentious, even lame and pretentious humans are better. Eying a 'human' only to notice pointy ears is like biting into a blueberry muffin thinking it's a chocolate muffin, if blueberries tasted like shit.
🧝Elfeven Follow
🥺
🪓Orcasionally-Really-Cranky Follow
If it makes you feel better I fuck both humans and elves, just got back from a raid where I scored plenty of elves to make into my obedient little whores.
🧝Elfeven Follow
That doesn't make me feel better.
(685,734 Notes)
🦅Feathery Follow
Finally going to an actual human town. What do human eggs look like? Don't want to cause any problems by mistake.
🦋 Gregory-Grigori Follow
People on this webbed site will really just say anything about hoomans huh?
🐂 No-Yournotaur Follow
OP, humans don't lay eggs. It's weird that you thought they did. They're mammals.
🦅Feathery Follow
I thought they were like platypi no need to get up my ass about this
🐂 No-Yournotaur Follow
Okay you know what fair.
(5,873 Notes)
🦋 Gregory-Grigori Follow
I'd say good morning, but I didn't wake up with a beautiful human on each side of me so actually it was yet another mid morning.
And now, a brief look at the human fucker community on a monster version of tumblr
🐙 WetterThanYou Follow
It's so sad that humans can't breathe underwater, makes bringing them to my lair so much harder
👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow
Was anyone going to tell me humans can't breathe underwater or was I supposed to just learn that from a text post?
🐙WetterThanYou Follow
Please tell me you didn't seriously look at humans and go 'they look like they can breathe underwater'
👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow
I thought they were like lions and how some live in the sea :(
🦁BEaST-MAN Follow
DID YOU THINK SEA LIONS WERE LITERAL LIONS?!
👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow
They're not? 😭😭😭
(10,053 Notes)
🐺HereWolf Follow
Vampires will be like 'I love humans' and then transform every human they know into another vampire. Weak. You are like someone who only watches Marvel movies and calls themselves a filmbuff.
🏏Batass Follow
Hey OP this is an important part of many vampire cultures so you should tone it down because this is really offensive.
🐺HereWolf Follow
You should get a culture that isn't fucking lame.
🦁BEaST-MAN Follow
OP you are literally a werewolf. And into throwing stones in glass houses I guess.
🐺HereWolf Follow
Gurl you don't know the amount of effort I put into keeping my human girlfriend a human girlfriend because I love her for being a human.
(8,000 Notes)
💚CraftedLove Follow
In the club on a date with a human straight up breaking it. And by 'it,' haha, well. Let's just say. His sanity.
(42,069 Notes)
🧙♂️ Crystal-Rooster-and-Orbs Follow
Sick of getting added to group chats like 'plots to overthrow our lieges.' Yes, I am both an evil wizard and an evil vizier. But I'm not plotting any treachery because my king is also evil, and so is my queen. We are in an evil polycule and give each other evil night kisses.
🧙♂️ Crystal-Rooster-and-Orbs Follow
Also stop telling me about the evil queen's OnlyFans like the king and I aren't helping her run it. Who do you think is taking the pictures? You have no idea how many evil yet deeply impractical schemes it's given us the economic cushion to do.
(48,835 Notes)
🤼♂️Bitch-of-Heracles Follow
Need me a human who will hold me like this and just destroy me 😍
♣️HeraclesOfficial✅ Follow
Hey.
🤼♂️Bitch-of-Heracles Follow
WHY DID NOBODY THINK TO WARN ME HERACLES WAS ON THIS WEBSITE?!
what i truly respect and admire about harrowhark nonagesimus is how, throughout her life, the universe persists in placing her in strange, violent, and upsetting circumstances, and time and again, she reacts by behaving MORE strangely, MORE violently, and MORE upsettingly than the situation she’s been placed in. it’s like if you were boiling a frog slowly and the frog looked you in the eyes and said, “oh, yeah? check this shit out.” and started vibrating at such a frequency that it starts boiling itself faster than the water can.
one of these days i am going to get herman melville's name right on the first try. i am going to say "herman", and then i'm going to say "melville", and i'm not going to have to stop myself in the middle of "merman hellville" and start over. not today, though. but hopefully soon. maybe tomorrow.