b0rtney
b0rtney
Get Assassin x Demon King!!!
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Buy Assassin x Demon King now on Amazon or Ingram Spark!Find me on ao3: b00mgh or on TikTok: b0rtney or on Substack: BrittneyHart.substack.com Want to support me financially? Ko-Fi: b00writing or Venmo: b00mgh .
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b0rtney · 4 days ago
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From capitalstitchco on Threads
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b0rtney · 4 days ago
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no actually i don't think antivaxxers' kids should die from a disease. i don't think gun advocates' kids should die in school shooting. children dying is bad actually, even if they're children of people you don't like.
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b0rtney · 4 days ago
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truly never getting over the greatest loss streaming services caused: the disappearance of DVD special features. behind the scenes, bloopers, deleted scenes, commentaries, I will never forget you, I will never stop missing you.
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b0rtney · 4 days ago
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The funniest part of the “ummmm actually ☝️🤓 birth control can be REALLY bad for you” responses on my ‘hey I think the current health fad demonization of hormonal birth control is right wing propaganda’ post is that I can’t take hormonal birth control. It reacts badly with my body’s chemistry. But I am wise enough to understand that it is a lifesaving medication for many people and encouraging people to get off birth control if it is working for them with no adverse reactions is bad. Birth control is bad for me and it can have terrible side effects but the potential of pregnancy and periods are worse for many people.
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b0rtney · 4 days ago
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b0rtney · 4 days ago
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Professional Protip™ for Writers and Creatives
Eat. EAT SOMETHING. Then wash it down with a swig of your favourite beverage. Ideally, eat a source of protein. By taking a break and getting a snack, it can be the fuel you need to finish what you started!
You would be surprised how useful this can be. Whether you're stuck at your essay's conclusion or wondering how to go forward with a story, this can help you step back and see it from a fresh(er) perspective.
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b0rtney · 4 days ago
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For the longest time I opted on the side of "no coffee, potatoes, etc" in fantasy writing, on the argument that if I was writing a pseudo-european medieval story, featuring elements brought to Europe by colonialism would imply the existence of colonialism, and if I was going to include that kind of elements, I could not just mention them casually, it would have to be a major theme of the story.
Then I scrolled past a post on tumblr specifically about "can you have potatoes in a fantasy setting for no reason" that had pics of Peruvian potato farmers and asked "are you really too much of a coward to not write these people into your stories?" (the tone was probably not that accusative, I paraphrase from my own perspective of this), and something clicked in my head, and this epiphany manifested in my head as Gordon Ramsay yelling
"IT WAS NOT THE FUCKING COLONIALISM THAT INVENTED THE FUCKING POTATO."
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b0rtney · 4 days ago
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Honestly, if you're a kid and an adult tells you "they're just trying to get a reaction out of you :)" as a response to being told that some younger kid is tormenting you, that should count as full permission to punt that little shit. Like I would never hit a child, but if you're seven years old and a five-year-old is being a cunt at you and adults just tell you "oh they just want to find out what happens if they keep doing that", wouldn't only be fair to let them know what happens if they keep doing that?
Siblings should never be left responsible of raising each other, but if adults have decided that they are allowed to fuck around, wouldn't it only be your right - or even downright duty - to let them consequently find out?
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b0rtney · 4 days ago
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Characters who were raised by wolves but somehow still learn how to speak and act human despite of having spent the key developing years without human contact are both unrealistic and frankly kind of boring and overdone by now. Imagine a character team where one of them is a (somewhat) realistic raised-by-wildlife grown feral child, and the other one is essentially a glorified handler, who manages all the people-business for both of them.
And the companion is the only other human person that the feral one trusts in any way at all. Better yet, make them clearly be romantically involved with each other. Like
"Wait, she's your wife? ...Uh, with all due respect, but can she like... Can she even consent?" "Look lad. I respect you being worried for her welfare and for being direct about that instead of circlin' around so I'm gonna be straight about it right back at you: She's bigger than me, stronger than me, and frankly, I don't think she spent much time wondering whether I'm consenting."
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b0rtney · 4 days ago
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Another fantasy trope story:
A story where a prominent prophesy very clearly states that this specific important thing Must Be Done by the firstborn of one specific guy. So three young heroes head out to fix this: This Guy's official firstborn heir, his bastard he didn't even know about before getting married, and his unofficially adopted orphan kid who just started living with him at some point, who is the oldest of the three so technically speaking is still the one who was born first. And all three must go because while the meaning of the prophesy itself is very clear, it's an utter mystery to everyone which one of them counts as their father's firstborn.
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b0rtney · 4 days ago
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I don't want a direct sequel to the DnD movie
I want more DnD movies with the same cast, but they play totally different characters every time, except for Xenk, who is the only recurring character in the entire franchise
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b0rtney · 4 days ago
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And if I said the gene wilder one was a critique on how capitalism, personified by gene wilder, will lure people in and then bring out the worst of each person in order to find the most desperate among us, personified by Charlie, and pass on the mantle of game maker and horror creator for the next generation
All the chocolate factory movies are just pastel horror musicals. That mans goal is to kill children and tell a morality tale via elaborate puzzle escape rooms. There's a guy seen on live TV whispering suspiciously into children's ears and they responded by putting the little German boy in booty shorts.
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b0rtney · 4 days ago
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some Superman (2025) letterboxd reviews I wanted to share.
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b0rtney · 4 days ago
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dear usamerican high schoolers looking for a way to resist fascism: sit through the pledge of allegiance.
no getting up. no looking at the flag.
everyone will be looking at you. you'll be sweating like a fucking hippopotamus. your teacher will sternly tell you to get up. you'll feel stupid and that maybe its not worth it because you're just a kid in a classroom. but I'm here to remind you that there are no real life consequences to detention. there are however real life consequences to resisting a thoughtless performance of nationalism.
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b0rtney · 4 days ago
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dear usamerican high schoolers looking for a way to resist fascism: sit through the pledge of allegiance.
no getting up. no looking at the flag.
everyone will be looking at you. you'll be sweating like a fucking hippopotamus. your teacher will sternly tell you to get up. you'll feel stupid and that maybe its not worth it because you're just a kid in a classroom. but I'm here to remind you that there are no real life consequences to detention. there are however real life consequences to resisting a thoughtless performance of nationalism.
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b0rtney · 4 days ago
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All the chocolate factory movies are just pastel horror musicals. That mans goal is to kill children and tell a morality tale via elaborate puzzle escape rooms. There's a guy seen on live TV whispering suspiciously into children's ears and they responded by putting the little German boy in booty shorts.
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b0rtney · 4 days ago
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if you an adult learn to take sex criticism. Y'all be 26 giving out wack head cause you refused to listen in ya freshmen year of college that you not suppose to bite it like that. You 28 still just sticking dry penis in a dry hole saying “oh..you tight” NOT AROUSED!!!
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