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no matter what happened today, you:
are loved
deserve to eat
are needed & valued
should take care of yourself
have a future
will be okay
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Give her plants and orgasms.
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Crying my eyes out
Safe With Me
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Genre: angst, fluff
Warnings: vague mention of toxic households
Request: no
Characters: Chan, Y/N
Word Count: 2.5k
Sitting at the edge of her best friend's bed, Y/N suddenly felt very depressed; it was as though her stomach had dropped out of her, and the world's weight had sunk onto her shoulders.
It was the way she always felt when she knew it was time to leave; she couldn't bear the thought of having to leave the warmth of his bedroom, or the safety of his home. She wished she could stay tucked up in the softness of his bedsheets and be surrounded by his scent, its sweetness lingering on the material. She never wanted to leave … especially when she had nothing waiting for her at her own house apart from toxicity so heavy and so dark that it seemed to strangle her.
Y/N didn't want to go back to the constant bickering between her parents. She didn't want to clamp her pillow over her ears to drown the screaming out. She didn't want to tiptoe on eggshells in her own house, scared that any one of her innocent actions could instantly awaken their wrath.
As much as she loved spending these treasured moments with the one person she loved more than anything, Y/N also grew to despise them; she loathed the fact that her time with him always came to an end, that the temporary comfort she got from being in his presence would disappear like a fragile memory as soon as she stepped away from him.
"Stay here tonight," Chan's soft voice suddenly cut through her thoughts. "It's already late … just stay with me?"
Y/N turned to look at him. He was dusting down his bed, throwing empty snack packets away. His back was turned towards her so Y/N couldn't see his facial expression. But she heard the slight current to his voice … almost as if he really hoped she'd agree.
Or perhaps she was just imagining things. Perhaps she just wanted him to feel that way.
"I can't … " Y/N whispered. "You know I can't."
Chan straightened up and frowned at her, his eyebrows furrowing together. "Yes you can. Just tell your parents you're with … someone else. Not me."
Y/N's lips twitched. They both knew just how much her parents hated Chan's existence … Y/N often wondered if they hated him because he showed her the love that they never did.
Or because he made her feel like she was special, when all they ever did was make her feel like a burden. Perhaps it was because she was able to pour all her love and trust into him, instead of into them.
They'd never understand the mechanics of her brain, nor the functionality of her heart.
But she didn't need them to … she didn't need anyone to understand but the man in front of her.
And he truly understood her better than anyone else possibly could.
"Like who?" Y/N asked.
Chan shrugged. He suddenly chuckled and rubbed the nape of his neck. "You could make someone up? Just say you have a project with one of the girls from uni or something. It's not like they know who's who anyway."
Y/N smiled at that. She looked up at Chan as he tossed an empty water bottle away before jumping onto the bed. He crawled to the edge and swung his legs over as he sat beside his friend; the man's eyes were wide as he studied Y/N's face, and Y/N bit her lip, looking down at the phone in her lap as blood rushed to her cheeks.
"I don't know … " she whispered.
"Please stay," Chan's voice was quiet. She slowly looked up again to see his eyes melting into pools of honey in the dim lighting of his bedroom. His eyes looked so soft in that moment, that Y/N had the sudden urge to burst into tears. "Please. I want you to be with me."
Y/N's eyes were locked on Chan's for a moment too long; she felt as though she was falling, her stomach dropping again as if she was at the top of a roller coaster. Oh, his eyes … there was something so rich about his eyes, like the finest grade of dark chocolate, and oh so twinkly, like the stars that were scattered above his home. Every second that Y/N spent looking into his galaxies felt like years, like the time in-between them had suddenly frozen. She swallowed slowly, her mouth running dry as her cheeks began to burn extraordinarily.
She looked away again and clenched her eyes shut. She was terrified. Terrified at the thought of what her parents could do if they found out she was with the man they hated; and terrified at the rate of which her heart was hammering against her ribcage, making her breathless.
But of course, it was no surprise to her that he had this effect on her. They had always been so much more than best friends. It was in the way they looked at each other, the tender lingering of their hands on each other a little too long than was necessary, and the way their faces always drew close to each other like magnets when silence embarked upon them both. So close that if a gentle breeze happened to brush past them, they would fall into each other and their lips may find their way to the others.
But neither of them ever spoke up about their feelings. They were both petrified of ruining their tight bond with one another, even if the other's feelings were clear as crystal.
Chan reached his hand out and very slowly tucked her hair behind Y/N's ear. The tips of his fingers grazed the side of her face with the tingle of electricity flooding through her as he let them rest under her chin, his thumb caressing her skin.
"I don't want you to go back there," Chan breathed, urgency in his low voice. "It's not safe for you … I don't want them to keep hurting you."
Y/N's eyes had begun to prickle. "But … what if they hurt you instead?"
"You know I'd gladly take the pain if it meant you were okay," Chan murmured, sliding his second hand to the other side of her face. He stopped breathing for a moment; he ached to lean forward and kiss away the tears that had begun to trickle down her cheek …
Seeing the alarm in Y/N's eyes at his words, Chan smiled. "Don't worry. You know I wouldn't let them hurt either of us. I'll protect us both … okay?"
Her breathing shaky, Y/N nodded. She felt her body sag and let herself drop her head against the man's warm shoulder, his body immediately responding to her gesture. She shut her eyes and breathed him in, her fingers curling up against the soft cotton of his top.
Chan smiled softly. His own cheeks had begun to flush magenta in the glow of the lights, and as he wrapped his arms gently around the girl's shoulder, he felt his breath leave him.
The way it always did.
"Promise me you'll stay?" He repeated quietly, sliding his fingers through Y/N's hair. He shut his eyes as he held her close to him; perhaps it was selfish of him to want her to be with him this badly. Perhaps he was a bad person for keeping her here when he knew what her parents could do to her … to the both of them. But Chan was afraid if he had to part ways from her one more time, his heart would shatter into a million smithereens. And he wasn't sure if he'd be able to find the pieces again. "I'll look after you."
Y/N nodded again. Her breath trembled against the worn cotton on his chest. "Okay," she whispered. And then she looked up at him, frowning. "I don't have any clothes with me."
Giggling suddenly, Chan patted her back with his gentle fingers. "I do. You can wear some of mine. You always wear my clothes anyway."
"They're comfy," Y/N yawned against his shoulder. She was already feeling drowsy … the sudden realisation that she was going to stay the night with Chan had hit her like a melatonin pill. "And … they smell like you."
Gulping suddenly at that last comment, Chan quietly cleared his throat. He realised Y/N was beginning to fall asleep on him, her breathing slowing already; that was probably why she said that.
She never would have otherwise.
"Are you sleepy?" Chan asked, rubbing circles into her shoulders. "Come on … change out of those clothes and then we can go to sleep. Sound good?"
Y/N hummed against him. She stifled another yawn, making Chan grin at her before he got up from his bed. He made sure she wouldn't topple over in her sleepy state before moving towards his wardrobe. Chan pulled out a t-shirt along with a pair of shorts.
"These okay? They're clean," Chan chuckled, holding them out to her. "Or you can choose something else if you want."
"These are fine," Y/N smiled and took the clothes from him. She bit her lip. "Turn around?"
Doing as he was told, Chan turned around; his cheeks flushed red and he looked up at the ceiling, trying not to imagine his best friend naked behind him. He cleared his throat again and studiously stared at the tiny chip of paint that had flaked off in the corner of his room.
"I'm done," Y/N whispered. "You can turn around again."
Chan faced her again, the corners of his mouth turned up as he saw his too big shirt hanging off of her like a dress. She looked adorable, and Chan mentally rushed up to her and lifted her off of her feet, swinging her around until they were both breathless with laughter.
He looked away, hoping she hadn't caught the burn of his cheeks as he indulged himself in his imagination. Instead, he moved towards his bed, gently turning back the corner of his duvet for her.
Once Y/N had slipped under the sheets, Chan did the same; he laid on his back, suddenly too afraid to move as Y/N rolled onto her side, looking up at him.
"Are you comfy?" Chan whispered. She'd been in his bed many times before … sometimes they watched movie after movie together under these same sheets. He had no idea why he felt so strange now. And he had no idea why he asked her that … he didn't know what else to say.
Y/N blinked at him. She shook her head. "I'm not."
Chan turned his face towards her, surprised. "You're not?"
She shook her head again. When he didn't speak further, Y/N took a gamble and slowly moved towards him. She looked him in the eye, and when he didn't object, Y/N slowly laid her head against his chest.
Chan slowly exhaled, his chest deflating under Y/N's cheek. He slid his arm around her waist as she carefully placed a leg over his; they were tangled together, and their skin that was exposed by their short sleeves was practically fire against each other. But at the same time, the both of them suddenly felt a huge wave of peace washing over them, and Chan shut his eyes as he tightened his embrace around her a little more.
"Are you comfy now?" Chan asked quietly. He hoped she couldn't hear the chaos his heart was creating inside his chest. It was almost as though the organ had started to have a party in his ribcage, bouncing off of his bones in excitement.
Y/N smiled. She placed a hand over his chest, cuddling up to him the way she had always wanted to. "I am."
"Good," Chan breathed. Then he chuckled nervously. "Otherwise I'd have been very offended."
He was secretly incredibly anxious; he hadn't worked out the way he had wanted to in the past few months … he was worried she could feel the hardness of his bones rather than the soft cushion of muscle. Maybe he shouldn't have been worrying so much about what a friend thought about his body … but he couldn't help but hold his breath as she got comfortable within his arms.
To Chan's relief, Y/N really did seem comfortable. She seemed more comfortable than she had ever been before.
"Your heart is racing," Y/N mumbled, startling the man beneath her. Her eyes were shut and she already felt as though she was half asleep, but she felt her surroundings as vividly as she did when she was fully conscious. "I think mine is too."
Chan bit his lip. He couldn't think of what to say as he began to run his fingers through her hair and down her spine in gentle waves. For someone who talked constantly all day long, Chan was surprised at his sudden lack of words. Suddenly his extensive vocabulary felt limited, the words that flew into his mind all incorrect. So he patted her shoulders instead, rubbing her back.
Just when Chan had thought she had fallen asleep, Y/N spoke again.
"I … I always feel so safe when I'm with you … " Y/N whispered. Her fingers curled into his t-shirt as Chan inhaled sharply, his eyes widening in the darkness. "No one else has ever made me feel like this before."
Her timid confession had robbed Chan of his remaining words, leaving his mind blank and his heart throbbing; he felt as though he was in a daze, and all his 'what ifs' suddenly flew out of his mind as he leaned down to gently plant a kiss on the surprised girl's forehead.
It was the softest of kisses, one that made Y/N feel as though her head was buzzing. She looked up at Chan, and she was even more startled when he tightened his hold on her, her hand coming up to cup the back of her head.
"Go to sleep, baby," Chan breathed, his voice cracking as he coaxed her head back to his chest. "I'll keep you safe the whole night … I promise."
Sniffing, Y/N nodded. She let Chan tuck the duvet under her chin before going back to pat her hair, his fingers cradling her head as if she was a baby. The feeling of his touch and the dull drum of his heart under her ear felt so soothing in that moment, that Y/N started to tear up as she shut her eyes. She'd never felt so at peace before, the sensation completely foreign to her. His breathing was soft in her hair, his heat insulating her like a second blanket and his scent incredibly intoxicating to her senses. It was quickly pulling her underneath a heavy current of slumber, and Y/N wondered if she was already dreaming when she heard three soft words being whispered to her before she lost all sense of consciousness.
---
Tag list ~ @koos-euphoria @raethethey @hugs4chan @hotmesshapa @manonblackbeak-trash @hendsernoodle @stanskzseungmin @ateez-babygirl @dalamjisung @dinosdawn @cookiemonstermusic258 @strwbrryfroyo @gazelle-des-pres @qtieskz @stigmvta @necromancersupreme @super-btstrash-posts @changlix-mp4 @exonations @changboobies @jeyelleohe @rae-blogging @planetdemon @dani41 @jumbocircus @octalalica @velvetand-roses @foivetimesacharm @anaaam @waverzzzzzzzz @peachy-flxwr @elizabeth11moreno @lenfilms @xhazmania @starshine-moon @justoutfromdead @snow-pegasus @lixiesbabyhands @bbychannie97 @laylasbunbunny @americanokisses @bluechans @bellamuerte1987 @meowmeowisdaname @chanssmiles @minunivers @septicrebel @bangchans-angel @spacegirlstuff (let me know if you wanna be added or removed)
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Good night people
Warning
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Genre: Husband!Chan, fluff
Warnings: Slightly suggestive
Request: No
Characters: Chan, Y/N
Word Count: 1.3k
Making sure her sheet mask was adhered close to her skin, Y/N picked her toothbrush up and applied a generous amount of toothpaste to the bristles before brushing her teeth. She was extra careful so as not to dislodge her mask, and she hummed to herself, slightly dancing on the spot, completely in her own little world when her husband walked into the bathroom.
They both made eye contact in the huge mirror at the same time; Chan was in a state of undress, the only garment on his muscular body being a pair of shorts. His hair was curly and messy from his earlier shower, the locks ever so slightly damp as it spiralled over his tempes. His cheeks were red with heat and his shoulders flushed, and Chan's sleepy eyes melted into little crescents as he burst into affectionate giggles at his wife.
"You're so cute," Chan laughed, stepping up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist as he smiled happily at Y/N's reflection in the mirror. Her hair was escaping the hastily tied knot atop her head, and her t-shirt was sporting dried toothpaste spots, her face puffy from the day's activity. In her eyes, she looked absolutely hideous; she was sure her husband must be slightly delirious with lack of sleep, for there was no possible way she actually looked cute.
"Are you mocking me, Mr Bahng?" Y/N raised an eyebrow as she asked him her question through a mouthful of toothpaste.
Giggling, Chan buried his face into the crook of her neck. "Of course not. You always look cute."
Y/N wondered if the face mask over her cheeks had gone pink or if it's just her imagination.
"You smell good too," Chan kissed Y/N's neck softly, his arms tightening around her stomach like bands of comfort and warmth. "Like toothpaste." It was Y/N's time to laugh; she spat into the sink and wiped the excess off of her lips before grinning at her husband in the mirror. "Since when did you like the smell of toothpaste?"
"Since now," Chan murmured. "Because you smell like it. And I like you."
Peeling her sheet mask off of her face, Y/N couldn't help but bite her lip as her cheeks instantly flushed once again. It didn't matter how long she's been married to him … somehow Chan still managed to come out with things that set her heart on an energetic rampage, rattling her bones.
"Well, I guess I like vanilla," Y/N sniffed in an exaggerated manner as she began to unscrew a lid off of a bottle. She poured the syrupy liquid into her hands and pressed it into her skin. "Because that's what you smell like. And I like you."
Chan's laughter was muffled as he smushed his face up against her shoulder. Y/N could make out a small "aww," and she smiled, letting him gently sway her side to side in his loving grip.
"How long are you going to be?" Chan suddenly asked, looking up and resting his chin on his wife's shoulder again. His hair hung in frizzy coils over his forehead from rubbing it against her skin, and Y/N resisted the urge to push it back with her sticky hands.
"Mmm … five more minutes? Why?"
Chan whined suddenly. "That's too long … be quicker. Be done now."
"I can't," Y/N laughed, her heart swelling at the way Chan pouted at her in the mirror like an angry duck. "I need to do this or I'll look like a shrivelled up raisin."
"You'd still be tasty," Chan mumbled, and Y/N snorted with surprised laughter, taken aback.
"Why are you so impatient anyway?" Y/N asked. She shook her head fondly as she patted another product into her cheeks.
Chan huffed impatiently. "Because. I want cuddles."
"But … aren't you technically cuddling me now?"
"No. This is … like … backup cuddling. Not proper cuddling," Chan yawned suddenly, and in doing so he automatically hugged the girl tighter. "Be quick."
Y/N smiled. She reaches for her thicker moisturiser instead of layering more skincare products, and after slathering it over her skin, she rinsed her hands. She turned around in the arms of her sleepy husband and cupped his face; his eyes were already drooping, and he looked like a tiny, fluffy puppy. Y/N kissed the tip of his red nose. "Okay. Okay, I'm done, you big baby."
His eyes closed fully against her shoulder, Chan smiled. "Yay," he whispered, and Y/N felt a pang as she ran her hand through his hair.
He did look incredibly exhausted … the way her fingers touched his scalp in a gentle massage made him visibly relax; Y/N leaned closer to him and kissed his forehead gently, Chan automatically nuzzling up to her. He hummed happily as she continued to stroke his hair, the couple leaning against the bathroom counter.
"Come on," Y/N whispered. "Let's go to bed."
Barely a minute later, Y/N and Chan had huddled up under their large duvet. The sheets were cool against their bare skin and Chan shivered as he wriggled closer to his wife, dropping his head against her chest. Y/N couldn't help but giggle when he yawned; it was such a large yawn, and his breath was suddenly very hot against her skin.
"Thank you for existing," Chan suddenly mumbled; or at least, that was what Y/N thought he said. His voice was muffled by her chest, and her eyes widened as she leaned closer to him.
"Hmm?"
Chan lifted his head. His eyes sparkled like fireflies, warm and golden and full of magic. "Thank you. For existing. And for being alive. With me."
"Chris … what?" Y/N was touched, and suddenly very taken aback. She hadn't planned on her eyes watering; especially since she had just finished doing her skincare.
"I love you," Chan continued with a shy chuckle, dropping his head into the crook of her neck. "Very much."
Unable to form words in her choked up state, all Y/N could do was wrap her arms tightly around her husband and kiss the top of his curls. She shut her eyes tightly as tears treated to spill through her lashes and she rested her cheek against his head, hoping to pour her emotions out of her and into her husband.
Chan all of a sudden started to laugh. "Wow … your heart is beating really fast."
"Can you blame me?" Y/N laughed, her cheeks reddening further. "You can't just say things like that out of nowhere."
Chan grinned as he looked up again. "Then when am I meant to say them?"
"Give me a warning next time," Y/N said, cupping his cheeks in the palms of her hands. "A large warning."
Chuckling, Chan placed his own hands atop hers. "Baby, I'm going to tell you that I love you again. Tell me when you're ready."
That made Y/N burst into laughter; she giggled as her husband laughed along with her, his nose bumping against hers.
"Okay I think I'm ready," Y/N said.
Smirking, Chan leaned forward and closed his lips over hers. He was smiling like a fool as he kissed her tenderly, his body shaking with silent laughter when Y/N gasped against him.
When he pulled away again, Y/N's eyes were wide and her cheeks almost fluorescent with how hard she was blushing.
"Christopher Bahng, that was cheating!" Y/N squealed as her husband erupted into another fit of amused giggles. "This isn't fair."
Scooping her up into his arms, Chan grinned. "Who said life's fair? I'm going to kiss you again."
Before she had the time to respond, Chan did just that; his lips brushed hers again in a playful attack, and Y/N melted into him, her eyelashes brushing against Chan's cheeks as they both smiled against the other's lips.
---
Tag list ~ @koos-euphoria @raethethey @hugs4chan @hotmesshapa @manonblackbeak-trash @hendsernoodle @stanskzseungmin @ateez-babygirl @dalamjisung @dinosdawn @cookiemonstermusic258 @strwbrryfroyo @gazelle-des-pres @qtieskz @stigmvta @necromancersupreme @super-btstrash-posts @changlix-mp4 @exonations @changboobies @jeyelleohe @rae-blogging @planetdemon @dani41 @jumbocircus @octalalica @velvetand-roses @foivetimesacharm @anaaam @waverzzzzzzzz @peachy-flxwr @elizabeth11moreno @lenfilms @xhazmania @starshine-moon @snow-pegasus @lixiesbabyhands @bbychannie97 @laylasbunbunny @americanokisses @bluechans @bellamuerte1987 @meowmeowisdaname @chanssmiles @minunivers @septicrebel @bangchans-angel @spacegirlstuff (let me know if you wanna be added or removed)
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Bruv this helps me so much with my current situation. I’m literally sobbing
💫Drabble Challenge💫
By @3rachasninja 🩵
„I‘m here“
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Pairing: Chan x Reader
Genre: ANGST, Fluff, Comfort, Friends to Lovers
Warnings: fluff, comfort, angst, family issues, anxiety, insomnia, overwhelmed/stressed, burned out reader, trauma, mentions of alcohol, yelling, strong language, sexualising and offensive jokes, dark thoughts, depression, domestic violence
Word Count: 7.2k
Note: I had a lot of fun writing this. Thank you for joining my little challenge. I really tried to include everything you wanted and I hope you‘ll like it. <3
Join my <Challenge>💕
You heard a crackle from your phone as Chan flopped down on his bed, the neon lighting behind him bathing his face in a bluish glow.
"I'll pick you up later and we'll go to the movies. Felix and Minho went to this new horror movie and said it's great. So I have to go with you."
You looked up from your notes and at Chan, who was smiling happily at your screen.
"Sorry Channie, but I have to study..." you sighed, rubbing your hair with the heels of your hands. You were dead tired, the next exam was already in a week. You wanted nothing more than to go to the movies with Chan, but you couldn't make it.
Disappointed, he pouted and ran his hand through the thick curls you loved since school.
Chan and you went to high school together and became soon best friends. When he became a trainee for JYP, you lost touch because he needed so much time to train and focus on his career.
But after his debut, he had contacted you again and you found out that the apartment you lived in with your dad since your parents separated was only a ten minute drive from his dorm. You met again more often. You got to know his members and became friends with them. They were all awesome and reliable friends by now.
Soon it was as if no time had passed and you and Chan were as inseparable as before. However, much had changed with you over the last months.
Your parents had separated and after a bad and toxic marriage and an even more disgusting divorce, your mother had simply disappeared from your life. At first she called every day. Then she called once a week, and by now you weren't even sure she had the same number anymore.
Chan sighed, but nodded in understanding. He knew how much you cared about your studies. You studied day and night to graduate and finally stand on your own two feet.
But he didn't know that you were doing all this to disappear. To leave this life behind and build your own, independent and above all happy life. Without a father who could no longer control himself. Who was drunk day and night. Since your mother had left, he had changed. By now you just couldn't imagine that she had once loved him.
He had become dependent. Working as a mechanic after his company went broke and now that your mother was gone, you had to take care of everything.
On the one hand, you worried because he couldn't even do his own laundry. Especially in moments when the old loving father shone through. Mostly when he was sober or when friends were visiting. Then he showed his best side. Polite, loving, trustworthy.
But this illusion disappeared as soon as the last guest had left the apartment. He lost himself everyday a bit more and you couldn't do anything. You could just watch.
"Really? All evening?"
You nibbled unconsciously on the back of your pencil and looked up from your Laptop to see that Chan had been watching you the whole time.
"Yeah... It's really a lot to learn."
"Okay... I can come over too and I'll help you study."
He didn't want to bother you or press you, though he had noticed how you had changed lately. Back in high school, you could be found at every party. You were always surrounded by friends and when you entered the room the attention was on you. But lately you hardly ever left your room, you were quieter and more reserved. Except when you were together. With Chan you were as he knew you. Open, loud and self-confident.
Chan had always liked that about you. No one managed to get you down. You fought on and on, with a grin on your lips. He suspected that it was because of your studies and all the stress that you had withdrawn.
At his question, you thought of your father lying on the couch just one door down, drunk and commenting loudly on the baseball game.
"No, it's okay. It's late anyway."
Chan glanced out the window. Dusk had not yet set in and the birds were chirping loudly.
"But you're coming to the party with me tomorrow?" he asked, now for the hundredth time this week. Directly, your heart pounded louder.
Chan had asked you last week if you wanted to be his plus one for a celebration for the release of a new campaign by an expensive brand. When he had asked you, you had frowned, while leaning your head against his chest and cuddled up under the covers. Completely confused, you had sat up and the movie you were watching had slipped into the background.
"What?" you'd asked, and Chan had just smiled softly.
"I get to take someone with me, so I thought it might be fun if we dressed up and pretended to be arrogant snobs for an evening."
Looking into Chan's eyes, you felt like it too. It sounded exciting and you realised again that Chan lived in a completely different world than you.
"So what do you say?"
You had looked down at your hands in confusion.
"I'll need an expensive dress, shoes.... Oh God... Are you sure about this? Not that I'll embarrass you there."
He had laughed, wrapping his arms around your stomach from behind and leaning his head against yours.
"I think I'm more likely to embarrass us. Fashion and clothes suit you more than me..."
You had to grin. In fact, you were very interested in fashion. You went shopping a lot, especially with Felix and Jeongin. When you showed Chan your outfits afterwards, he was happy, but with the best will in the world he didn't understand the difference between a cardigan and a wool jacket.
Chan wore hoodies outside of work, simple shirts, and the occasional pair of jeans when he was exerting himself.
Still, you remained indecisive and leaned against his chest, sighing.
"But don't worry. There are no cameras and no paparazzi. We're completely free there."
That made you feel increasingly relieved, and you nodded.
The very next day you had dragged Felix from store to store to pick out a suitable dress. You wanted to surprise Chan and maybe even to impress him. Finally, you had settled on a black cocktail dress that fit snugly at the waist. It was simple, chic, and looked expensive.
Felix had clapped his hands enthusiastically. "That's sexy as hell! Chan's going to go nuts."
He'd laughed and you dismissed the little comment as a joke. After all, his members were always joking about the two of you. Secretly, they didn't believe you that there had never been anything going on between you and that was quite funny to you.
-
"Well, sure. Nobody can stop me from going with you to that expensive Party full of expensive people," you answered him. Chan grinned with satisfaction.
"I can't wait to see the dress. Felix won't even tell me the color and has been raving about it all along."
You smiled and hid your red cheeks behind your book.
"You'll see soon enough."
"I'll pick you up tomorrow then."
"All right."
In the brief silence, you heard a demo playing in the background. So Chan was still working, too.
"I'm excited. But I'm scared," you finally said. Neither of you wanted to end the conversation and hang up.
"Me too... But this should be fun."
You nodded and rolled onto your back, holding the phone above you. Chan looked at you in silence for a while. Your hair was spread out around your head on the bedspread and your eyes were shining happily. How he wished he could be with you right now, touch you and not just the stupid screen.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Channie."
He smiled and winked at you.
"See you tomorrow, princess."
With a flutter in your stomach, you set the phone aside as his face disappeared.
--
"That's how you're going out? You look like a hooker! You want to get laid that bad?"
The words stabbed at you like knifes directly into your chest. You were just on your way out the door. Chan had texted that he was leaving and you wanted to stop him from ringing the doorbell and running into your father. He had come home smelling of whiskey and upset that you hadn't put enough cheese on the spaghetti you had put out for him in the kitchen.
Immediately, insecurity overshadowed your actual joy. You clutched your purse and looked down at yourself as your father looked over at you from the couch.
You had your hair up, put on a little makeup. The red lipstick went perfectly with the black minidress and black high heels that made your legs look even longer than they did anyway. When you had been in the bathroom and seen your reflection, you felt like a princess. Your father had managed to make you feel like a slut with just a few words.
"What ... I thought..." you mumbled, tugging uneasily at the hem of your dress. That's when you saw a cone of light appear through the window and Chan's car pulled up to the street in front of the house.
"So you don't have to wonder when men get assaultive... Revealing your ass and tits like that. It's cheap," he rumbled on and before you could give the tears a chance, you muttered in an occupied voice:
"I'm leaving."
But you grabbed a jacket and pulled it tight around your body. You tried not to let on how hurt you were as you walked toward Chan's car.
He was already leaning on the passenger side. He looked incredibly handsome in the black suit that stretched tightly around his broad shoulders. His hair was a little too neat for your taste. You loved his messy curls, but right now it matched the expensive look.
His whole face lit up at the sight of you and your heart immediately lightened a bit.
Arriving at his place, you just wanted to quickly get in the car and get out of here. Your father's words kept circling in your head and you wrapped your arms tighter around your body.
"What's wrong? Let me see your outfit," Chan said, stopping you with his hands on your shoulders.
"Can we just leave?," you muttered dejectedly, and that's when he frowned in wonder.
Directly he nodded and held the door open for you to get in. On the ride, he tried to distract you with chit-chat and change the petrified look on your face. But even when you arrived at the location, you didn't dare to take off your jacket. After you parked the car and stood in front of the pompous entrance, he took your hand and forced you to look at him. You almost instantly burst into tears when you saw his worried expression.
"May I see the dress you choose for me?"
You swallowed hard. Afraid that he would react the same way your father did. Chan's opinion mattered to you more than any other, which is why you clasped his hand uncertainly. He carefully stroked his hands up your arms, under your jacket and looked at you questioningly. You nodded curtly and that's when he slid the jacket off your shoulders. His eyes got big and his mouth was instantly open as he finally saw what you had been working on all evening.
"Wow you look amazing..." he gasped and his eyes kept wandering up and down your body. Finally they lingered on your face and you smiled in relief. His honest enthusiasm lifted the weight off your shoulders.
"Thank you..." you whispered, and that's when his face suddenly hardened again. He threw the jacket into the car and put his hands on your waist.
"Did anyone say anything else?" he asked seriously and you nibbled uncomfortably on your lower lip.
"You don't think it's too revealing?" you asked instead, anger flashing in his eyes. Whoever had said something that made you feel even slightly less beautiful than you were, he would loved to punch the stupidness out of that asshole.
"As long as you feel comfortable, you can wear whatever you want. Anyone who says otherwise is a idiot and has the manners of a primate," he assured you, gently pulled you at your waist closer. Your heart leapt as your faces hovered close to each other. You lost yourself in his eyes, as you had so many times before, and put your hands to his chest. Again and again you knew that you shouldn’t react like that because of the touch of your best friend, but you couldn’t help it. He was kind, always there for you and looked incredibly hot right now.
"You're going to outshine everyone tonight... I really want to show off with you now," he whispered and your stomach did somersaults.
"Then let's go," you replied and as you smiled honestly again, Chan almost burst with happiness. He offered you his arm and you took it nervously.
Together with Chan, the party was really fun. You drank expensive champagne, you met many of his colleagues and friends, and you did some nonsense with Chan, while playing rich and arrogant.
With him everything was so easy and all the worries seemed to be forgotten. Chan made sure you were comfortable the whole time, never leaving your side and giving a warning look to any man who looked at you for a second too long. You caught yourself pressing the back of your hand to your cheeks to cool them down as Chan put an arm around you during a conversation. A handsome young man Chan knew from his days as a trainee had approached you. He wore a very expensive suit, and a watch that was probably worth four times as much as your apartment.
"Chan your companion looks really gorgeous. How long have you been together?"
Chan froze, and you had just smiled sheepishly.
"We're just friends."
The dark-haired one had directly raised his eyebrows and looked at Chan in surprise. From that point on, he had flirted with you shamelessly, complimented you, and when you had chuckled at one of his jokes, Chan had cleared his throat and wrapped his arm tightly around your waist. Since then, his hand had been tight on your hip and it seemed almost possessive. One look at Chan's face had been enough and the guy was gone. His jaw twitched, so tightly because he clenched his teeth so tensed, and when the guy was finally gone, Chan pulled you along.
"Finally. I thought he'd never stop drooling over you."
You had to grin, trying not to think the whole time about Chan's thumb circling over your hip bone.
"Are you jealous?" you teased, poking him in the side with your index finger.
"I'm not... No."
He quickly averted his eyes from yours, because otherwise he would have said something stupid.
"You're my best friend, and I don't want you getting hit on by random guys."
You walked to Buffet together and all the stares that followed you made you uneasily play with the strap of your purse.
"I thought that was a friend of yours?"
"So what? You're worth twice what he could give."
You had been eyed curiously all evening. No one had expected Chan to show up with a female companion.
At the buffet, you really tried hard not to look too disgusted. You couldn't even identify most of the food. There were little morsels of strange colors and shapes, and even if you knew how to eat them, you probably wouldn't be skilled enough.
You held Chan's arm in a panic and whispered:
"I can't do this... The food looks like aliens brought it."
To your surprise, he had to push back his laughter with all his might.
"Yeah I know."
By now, many of the people were whispering about you and you didn't miss the envious and deprecating looks. You didn't belong here at all. You were not an idol, a rich girl or from an elite university. Looking around uneasily, the air grew thinner and thinner, you clung to Chan until he pulled you away from the buffet.
"What are you doing?" you whispered as he took your hand and clasped it tightly with his.
"We're getting out of here. I need something you can actually eat."
Together you sneaked away from the party and ran to his car giggling like kids who had done something wrong.
As soon as he started the engine and drove away, you breathed a sigh of relief.
"That was exciting, but don't ever ask me to come to something like that again!"
Chan laughed and immediately you felt warm.
"I promise."
Even though you looked beautiful, like a princess straight out of a movie, he loved even more that you just didn't fit there. You didn't care about status, money or power. You looked at him the same way you did when you were in school, and Chan increasingly realized how much he needed that in addition to his work and growing fame.
"Where are we going?" you asked, looking out the window with a bright smile.
"Burgers and fries?" he asked, and you were overcome with deja vu. Always after the last hour of math that week, you had gone to the fast food joint behind the school together and shared a meal.
"In this clothes?" you asked with raised eyebrows, and he shrugged.
"Well, sure.“
So a few minutes later you were sitting in the fast food restaurant in your expensive suit and dress, devouring your burgers. People were staring at you, but you didn't mind. You laughed as you mocked the arrogant guests at the party and made fun of the hairstyle of the older lady who had talked shit about you and thought you didn’t hear. It was refreshing and easy with Chan.
That's why it was even harder for you to get out of his car that evening. At your front door, he hugged you tightly and kissed your forehead.
"Thank you for being with me today."
You smiled and wished you hadn't let go of him.
"Always. But next time we do a normal movie night again, okay?“
You both chuckled and he nodded.
„Yes sure. The dress was okay, but you know I love you in ugly sweatpants.“
Snoring you rolled your eyes and opened the door.
He waited until you disappeared into the house before sauntering back to the car. As he did, he grinned stupidly and hummed to himself.
-
A week later, he had received nothing but terse messages from you. Actually, you were going shopping together to make your own pizza and watch movies. Just you and Chan, as it had become a habit by now.
But you had canceled at short notice, with a terse message, and hadn't contacted him since. Chan had a queasy feeling in his stomach and had been staring at his cell phone for hours to see if maybe you had written something. He just couldn't concentrate on his laptop even though he had lots of work to do.
His thoughts kept drifting to you. By now he was wondering if he had done something wrong or if something had happened.
Groaning, he threw himself backwards in his chair so that he rolled away from the computer and pressed both hands to his face. Then he tapped your number and waited for it to ring. After the first beep he threw it on his table. He didn't mean to be annoying or clingy, but the disturbed look on your face when he'd picked you up wouldn't let him go. He had never seen you so rattled. Surely there had to be a reason for this?
"Hello? Chan?" he finally heard from his cell phone on the table. Your voice sounded weak, shaky, like you'd been crying.
He quickly scooted back to the desk and leaned over the cell phone.
"Hey... I just wanted to ask if everything was okay?"
There was silence for quite a while until Chan guessed you had hung up, but that's when he heard your breathing going rattly.
"Y/N?" he asked cautiously.
"Chan I can't talk right now. I have a lot to do."
It sounded almost choked, like someone was squeezing your throat.
Completely perplexed, Chan grabbed his cell phone as if he could reach you better that way.
"Wait! You canceled so suddenly and I haven't heard from you in days. Are you sure everything's okay?"
There was a rustling on the other end of the line, as if you were switching rooms. Again no answer, just your breathing, and Chan began pacing restlessly up and down his room.
After a while, you cleared your throat.
"Everything is fine, Chan. I'll be in touch soon."
It sounded like a sentence you had memorized and played all over again. Chan was about to say something back and winced when a door banged in the background near you. Then a man yelled your name. Chan could hear your breath catch and froze in motion.
"I have to go."
You sounded rushed, agitated, and your voice was busy.
"Y/N! Do you want me to come over?" he asked directly and you had to press your hand over your mouth to keep from sobbing out loud.
"No! No please don't. I'll text you."
Then the line went dead. Chan stared at his phone for a full minute, trying to find an innocuous explanation for what he had just heard. But he had to convince himself that you were all right. Otherwise, he wouldn't sleep for a second.
He got into his car, it was raining cats and dogs and you had to drive slowly to see anything at all. He held his jacket over his head until he reached your front door, but the wind was so strong that he was soaked in seconds.
He rang the doorbell and it took a while for the door to open a crack. He could see your face through it, slightly illuminated by the flickering light in the hallway and at the sight of him you froze.
Panic-stricken, you opened the door a little more but did not let him in. Your eyes, which usually shone and infected everyone with their energy, were dull and red. You had dark circles under your eyes and your lip was split open because you had bitten it so many times. When you were nervous, you always nibbled on your lower lip. A habit with which Chan always teased you because it looked so cute.
But right now the sight frightened him.
"I told you not to come," you whispered, and he barely understood you through the pelting rain. You avoided as much as possible that he could take a look inside.
"I know. But you sounded so weird on the phone. I wanted to make sure everything was okay."
You pushed back the tears with all your might and opened the door a little more so you could look at him better. His hair was wet and by now the rain was dripping from his chin. You wanted him to come in, to get him dry and warm. Feel his strong arms around you and bury your face against his chest, tell him everything, snuggle up to him until you forgot everything. Instead, you said:
"It's okay. Really."
You tried to close the door and thus escape the piercing gaze, but Chan stopped you by putting a foot in the crack.
"What is it?"
His gaze was lower on something behind the door.
"What?" you asked nervously, almost panicked, trying to hide your hand behind your back. But Chan had pushed the door open wider and since he was stronger, it was an easy grab of your arm.
"On your wrists?"
In the flickering light he looked at your wrists and all color fell from his face.
"It's nothing," you tried to dismiss it. Your voice trembled with shame and you quickly pulled your hand away. But he hadn't imagined it. There were clearly deep blue marks on both of your wrists as if a large hand had grabbed you there. Just the sight of it was painful.
"Who was that? Y/N?"
Chan's voice was icy cold, cutting like a blade through the rumble of the thunderstorm. His face was intimidatingly tense. In his usually loving warm eyes, only raging anger. You could not answer. Instead, a single tear rolled down your cheek which you furtively wiped away.
"Y/N? Who's at the door? I told you to clean the kitchen damn it! You're good for nothing!"
Your father's voice rumbled throughout the house and you winced violently. Chan looked more and more intimidating and he suddenly seemed a lot bigger as he clenched his hands into fists.
"Please Channie. Just go!" you pleaded, pushing him back out into the rain. The begging and fear in your voice made him completely lose it. His mind went blank and he could only shake his head as he gradually realized everything. Your strange behavior the last few weeks wasn't because you had so much to learn and were stressed. He blamed himself for not noticing it sooner. Now he remembered all the signs he just hadn't noticed. When you wore hoodies on sunny days, avoided his touch on your arms, or the time you flinched because he jerked his arm up to celebrate his win at Uno against Felix. He had never put all that together into a picture. But now he realized, and there was nothing he could do to undo it.
"Who's there? Answer fucking hell!" your father yelled and now you could clearly hear him slurring his words.
"It's only Chan! He brought me something I forgot at his place" you shouted over your shoulder hoping he would just shut up.
"Chan? Were you going to run off and sleep around?"
Chan couldn't see it, but the older man's voice was closer now. He seemed to have come into the hallway behind you.
"No. I was going to study. Chan will be gone in a minute."
It broke Chan's heart how scared you sounded.
"Don't talk shit! The way you walk around, dressed like a hooker, you're probably trying to get any of Chan's friends into bed!"
Chan wanted to tear open the door, beat the disrespect out of this idiot until he begged for forgiveness. But your shaking hands and pleading look stopped him. He would only make things worse and he didn’t want to hurt you further.
"We're just friends. He‘s leaving."
Your father grunted deprecatingly and you could hear him just throwing an empty beer can on the floor.
"I hope so! You've got plenty to do in the kitchen. The excuse that you have to study doesn't count."
Instead of snapping back, as Chan knew the confident girl he adored so much would, you hung your head and said:
"Yes."
When your father disappeared again, you didn't dare look Chan in the face. It hurt too much and if he looked at you with even a little pity, you would collapse on the spot.
"Y/N, what..."
But that's as far as he got, as you were already shaking your head. Tears in the corners of your eyes and your eyes fixed on the ground in front of you.
"Please just go and don't make it harder for me..."
Then the door slammed shut and Chan ruffled his hair. He wanted to help you, to be there for you, but he didn't know what to do without making everything worse for you.
-
A few days later, you finally called him. The conversation was tense and he tried not to bring up the subject because you obviously weren't ready yet. But he was somewhat relieved when you asked him if he wanted to help you studying.
Your father was obviously not there and so you were alone.
Chan sat on your bed next to you, quizzing you with index cards or having the topics explained to him. It didn't take long for you to get lost in teasing each other again, fooling around, and it almost felt like normalcy. However, Chan just couldn't manage to banish that evening from his mind.
It resonated like a dark shadow and you could feel it too. But you didn't know what to say to Chan. It was all just too much.
You hid the bruises on your wrists under your thick hoodie and only sometimes did it slip back and Chan's smile disappeared immediately every time he saw a glint of it.
When the front door slammed, though, you jumped from the bed, startled.
"Shit! He said he won't be back until late at night..."
"Y/N! Where are you?" he was already yelling through the apartment by then, peppering his keys on the dresser. Chan's expression darkened directly and you put your index finger to your lips.
"Just stay here and be quiet"
Before he could respond, you had rushed out of the room and to your father's side so he wouldn't get any angrier. You just had to see the glazed eyes and you knew he had been drinking on the job.
"You're here already?"
He nodded and pointed to the pile of clothes next to the iron that he had thrown there this morning.
"I told you to iron my shirts," he said.
"I haven't gotten around to that yet. I have an important exam tomorrow and Chan is helping me study," you tried to calm him and that's when you saw Chan already standing in the doorway behind your father. His brow was furrowed in concern and you shook your head, barely noticeable.
Your father took a beer from the kitchen counter and opened it with the lighter in his pocket. You could see his nostrils twitch. He was furious and whirled around to face you:
"Bullshit. You're good for nothing! And this guy is just a bad influence. Ever since he's been here all the time, you've been dressing like a whore, always at his place, and an ungrateful brat!"
Gradually, anger overshadowed your fear of what might come. In the last few days it had become worse and worse. Suddenly your father had become handsy and much more easily irritable. He was drunk by noon and you suspected that he had lost his job. When you had called him on it, he had freaked out and grabbed your wrists too tightly that they still hurt.
"Chan has nothing to do with this! He's my best friend and you're not going to stop me from seeing him!"
It was the first time you fought back, but he wouldn't take away the only thing that was good in your life. Chan gave you strength to go on until you were ready to leave it all behind.
"Are you contradicting me?"
His voice rumbled like a thunderstorm and he looked at you like an insect to be squashed. Chan gritted his teeth and literally pierced your father with withering glances.
"You're just as ungrateful as your mother! I let you live here for free, take care of you, and you act like you take it all for granted! Your are a fucking disappointment.“
Anger clawed at your chest and tore at you painfully. Chan's presence gave you the strength to look your father in the eye for the first time. It made him even angrier, but there was also despair. Despair that he could no longer control and intimidate you.
"Mom was clearly smarter than me when she disappeared," you hissed belligerently, pressing your hands against your thighs so he wouldn't see how much you were shaking and afraid of him.
"What the fuck did you say?" he yelled, smashing the full beer can onto the kitchen floor. Your eyelids fluttered, but you didn't jerk back.
"You're pathetic, disgusting, and a shitty person! I'll never forgive Mom for not taking me with her when she finally left you!" you snapped at him, and his head ran so red you feared it would burst. There was a burning feeling of satisfaction when you finally spoke what you could have said a long time ago.
"You stupid bitch! I guess you need to be taught some manners!" he growled aggressively and when he raised his hand and you just saw him lash out, you regretted opening your mouth. You squinted your eyes, yanked your arms protectively up and waited for the blow to hit you, but nothing happened. The next time you opened your eyes, you heard your heart pounding so loudly in your ears that you didn't even hear Chan's voice. He was standing in front of you, his broad shoulders protecting your body, and in record time had caught the hand that would have hit your face. Hard, he pushed back your father, who staggered a few steps.
He stood like a wall between you and your father, not moving a bit and fixing your father with such a coldness in its eyes that you shuddered.
"Touch her again and I'll kill you!"
The threat sounded deadly serious and even your father was completely thrown off until he shouted again:
"Do you think I'm afraid of you? I‘m not!“
Chan was so calm it was really scary. He tilted his head a little, his features softened, and he actually smiled. However, the smile didn't reach his eyes. If he had looked at you like that, you probably would have dropped dead.
"Yes of course. Someone who is that stupid and doesn't realize what a special daughter he has can only be that dumb"
This only fueled your father's aggression even more. Chan's calm and intimidating manner caused the temperature in the room to drop.
"You son of a bitch! Get out of the way!"
The main artery on your father's neck stood out dangerously, but before he could take a step, Chan stood so close to him that their noses almost touched. His eyes snapped open in surprise, and his lips vibrated in overwhelm.
"I definitely will not! You'll never touch her again, or even speak to her, until you realize what a hard-working, loving, intelligent daughter you have! You're lucky she's here and I want to spare her the sight of me beating the shit out of you, because I really really want to…“
There was indeed fear in your father's eyes. You had never seen that side of Chan. He was always friendly, in a good mood and attentive. But now he was really intimating while protecting you and you could only watch as he tapped your father on the shoulder. It was clearly a warning and without breaking eye contact, he said:
"Let’s go, Y/N. We‘ll leave!“
You couldn't say anything. You were in a trance. Your feet carried you all alone to your room where you packed some clothes, your toothbrush, your laptop and a few important things.
In the living room, your father sat silently on the sofa, not daring to look in your direction. Chan was leaning against the door with his arms crossed and his whole attitude was different again. He looked at you with such gentleness and took your backpack directly from you. Together you walked to the car in silence. Only when you had left your house far behind, he asked:
"How long has this been going on?"
By now it didn't matter anyway. You didn't know if you'd ever go back home, so you told him everything.
"Since mom left. But in the last few weeks, it's gotten worse."
"Did he hurt you?"
Chan's fingers tapped restlessly on the steering wheel. You tugged at the sleeves of your hoodie.
"Not really... Thanks to you."
He nodded, and as soon as you arrived at the guys' dorm, you froze in front of the door.
"The others aren't here. They won't be here until later."
Gratefully you nodded and just as he pulled the door shut behind you, everything burst out of you. A big stone fell off your shoulders and all that pent-up tension found a way to get out. You buried your face in your hands and painful sobs shook your whole body.
Immediately Chan pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly and rocking you back and forth soothingly. You were infinitely grateful to him for not saying anything and just being there. You cried until your body was exhausted and your tears empty. Chan was still holding you. His warmth and body soothed you and you sucked in his scent, which gave you a sense of security that your own home did not. When he felt that you were no longer crying, but only sniffling weakly, he let you out of his tight embrace. His hoodie was wet from your tears where you had pressed your face against his chest and he lovingly cupped your face with both hands. With his thumbs, he brushed the tears from your flushed cheeks and a few strands of hair from your face.
"Are you hungry? Do you want me to cook something?" he asked caringly and you held onto his arm for fear he might just disappear.
"No. No please just stay with me."
Quickly he nodded and intertwined his fingers with yours. Directly everything didn't feel so heavy and hopeless anymore.
He led you into his room and lay down with you under his blanket. You snuggled up close to him. He gave you warmth, comfort and hope. For the first time in a long time, it felt like you were where you belonged.
He pulled you closer to him until you were lying on his chest, your legs intertwined and your cheek right over his heart. He stroked through your hair and with his other hand under your hoodie over your bare back. His touches were like little lightning bolts, channeling energy back into your body.
You let your fingers circle over his chest and listened to his heartbeat.
"How come you never said anything?" he asked, and you could hear him blaming himself for not noticing something sooner.
You rested your chin on the back of your hand and looked him in the eye. Your noses almost touched and his big hands left a tingle on your skin.
"I was scared and I was ashamed. I thought I could do this on my own."
He wrapped a strand of your hair around his finger, enjoying your body heat and your weight on his. Everything about you made his life so much better and he was glad you were now with him and safe.
"You're not alone, though. I'm here.“
The corners of your mouth lifted and when you smiled, Chan's heart nearly jumped out of his chest.
"Thank you Chan."
He smiled as well. His dimples charmed you and you couldn't stop looking at his features, which you knew by heart. He lost himself in thought, stroking his finger down your temple to your cheek.
"You are important to me. I can't imagine life without you, and you deserve to be happy, to be loved, and to be treated with the respect you deserve."
His words touched you and thanks to him, you finally understood that.
When his finger reached your chin, he stroked your lower lip with his thumb. Thousands of butterflies fluttered up in your stomach and you could only stare at him with your mouth slightly open.
"Stay here. As long as you want."
The affection in his eyes, his gentle touches and his body so close to yours, made you forget all caution. You couldn't help but finally listen to your feelings. You just had to lean forward to overcome the distance and touch his lips. You kissed him cautiously at first, but when you felt his hand on the back of your neck and how he pulled you closer by the waist, you moved your lips more intensely against his.
All the despair, anger and fear dissolved into thin air and all you felt was Chan. He complemented you where you needed him and now that he returned the kiss, you melted in his arms with relief.
He let his tongue glide gently over your lower lip and when you opened your mouth and he let his tongue slide against yours, you asked why it had taken you so long. He was in your life all this time and only now you had the clarity to see how much he really meant to you.
The kiss was slow, sensual and healing. When he released you after a while, you were both beaming from within and grinning at each other.
"I've been wanting to do that for ages," he murmured, and your cheeks were all rosy.
That's when you heard the front door open and the loud chatter of the boys echoed to you. Before you could climb off of him, he held you by the waist once more and pressed his lips to yours almost panicked. He just had to make sure he wasn't imagining it. Quickly burying your hands in his hair, you returned the stormier kiss until you broke away from each other, panting.
He grinned broadly, his eyes sparking.
"Let's go tell the guys that my girlfriend is their new roommate."
"Girlfriend?" you asked, surprised, and inside you were jumping up and down excitedly.
He pulled you onto his lap and pressed a kiss to your nose.
"Well, I hope so. Do you want to be my girlfriend?"
You didn't have to think for a second before you nodded vehemently.
"Yes... Yes that would be nice."
Chan breathed a sigh of relief and wrapped his arms around your body so tightly that you could hardly breathe.
When you told the others about it, they actually were a little too delighted. At least Hyunjin clapped his hands loudly and was given money in each hand by Changbin and Seungmin. They've been betting for months when you'll finally get it. Obviously everyone around you knew it, except for you.
While Chan chased Jisung around the kitchen for congratulating him, saying that if it had taken longer he would have asked you out himself.
It had felt like you had lost your family, but now, in the midst of eight boys and with Chan by your side, you realized that you had been building your own little family all along.
That night, before you fell asleep in Chan's arms, tight in his arms and exhausted from the day, you heard him whispering by your ear.
"I love you... I'm here. Always."
And you immediately knew everything will be fine.
————————————-
If you’re experiencing domestic violence or any kind of assault please talk to someone. You’re not alone!
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Chrizztopher at Lollapalooza Paris was something else 😮‍💨
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Stray Kids Tearing Lollapalooza Paris apart
(Photos taken by me)
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Just hynjin blowing us a kiss at Lollapalooza in Paris (filmed by me)
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Me filming how Chan realized he went too hard at Lollapalooza Paris
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My experience at the louvre museum in Paris
22.07.23
(photos taken by me)
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Winged Victory Of Samothrace
Artist Unknown | 190 BC
(photo taken by me)
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Psyche Revived By Cupids Kiss
Antonio Canova | Carrara Marble | 1797
(photo taken by me)
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“I’m the charmer…”
WolfChan the good boy
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sometimes u just gotta say “okey dokey” and just like.. rely on urself.. take things as impersonally as u can.. love and let go.. move on.. try and find all the good things, soak those in. and that’s all u can do! and sometimes, that’s enough
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if you have recently found someone who turned out to not be right for you, remember:
you deserve someone who will make you happy
you deserve someone who doesn’t make you question if you’re their priority
you deserve someone who listens
you deserve someone who validates your feelings
you deserve someone who loves you just as much as you love them
you deserve someone who makes time for you
you deserve someone who gushes about you
you deserve someone who makes sure you know they enjoy spending time with you
you deserve someone who makes you laugh on your worst days
you deserve someone who makes you go to bed with a smile on your face, not tears in your eyes
you deserve someone who doesn’t make you worry you might say the wrong thing
you deserve someone who is willing to drop everything to comfort you on a really bad day
you deserve someone who pays attention to the little things you like and dislike
you deserve someone who gets you
you deserve someone who sees a future with you
you deserve someone who appreciates you
you deserve better
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I PASSED MY FINALS!!!!
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KIKI'S DELIVERY SERVICE (1989) - LEE KNOW
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