batfamhyperfixation - Tumblr blog

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Dick: you ok Timmy, you’ve been staring at the wall for like a solid minute with a confused look on your face

Tim: I just got to my second unit in section one on duolingo, and they taught me the word wizard? Like what a bizarre order

Tim: I learned ‘hello’ ‘i am’ ‘you are’ ‘who are you’ ‘nice’ ‘funny’ ‘well’ ‘excuse me’ ‘congratulations’ ‘cheers’ ‘man’ ‘woman’ then ‘wizard’

Tim: are wizards prominent in Finland? Are wizards a fundamental building block of the Finnish language? Why did I learn wizard before any food, or colors, or numbers, or even the word Finland?

Tim: I can’t order food in a Finnish restaurant, I can’t ask to go to the bathroom, I can’t even get to Finland

Jason: How do you say shut up in Finnish?

Tim: I don’t know, they haven’t taught me yet, but I can tell you how to say wizard

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Ohhh Tim’s in trouble, poor Bernard he has no idea of what has been put on that “microwave”

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ROBIN3／ROBIN4

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don't destroy his self-esteem 🐦😆

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You know what would be funny?

Baby Stalker Tim being seen as a omen.

There are goons that believe that he is a spirit haunting batman. That he is a child that the bat had lost before he became the dark knight.

He isn't, but people will still turn around whenever they see him lurking

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Pre-dating, Tim or Bernard not knowing the other isn’t straight

Tim, leaning over to look at Bernard’s phone as they chill in Tim’s bedroom: whatcha doing?

Bernard: imma send Red Robin subtle messages until I trick him into admitting he’s into guys so I can sleep with him

Tim, bi panic, blushing: you’re what?

Bernard, typing out a message on his phone: here how does this sound Tim, ‘gay af to be a detective, what are you inspecting, other men??’, sound subtle enough?

Tim, too dumbfounded to speak:

Bernard: yeah you’re right, it’s perfect, imma send it

*Tims phone goes off, and then both watch it light up, Bernard seeing the message he just sent*

Tim, picking up his phone, typing, and sending a message without saying anything, face nearly bright red as he glances over at Bernard, who is staring at him wide eyed not saying anything

Bernard, looking down at the text Tim sent him back as Red Robin that says, ‘I like you, let’s fuck’:

Bernard: hey Tim I have a couple of questions

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nightwing being hurt in the field, and over comms he can’t get out what was wrong, nearly in shock, and jason puts on his best batman™️ voice and says “robin, report.”

and it snaps dick out of it enough to say concussion, possible broken ribs, and a gash in his side.

no one talks about it, and then a year later, damian does the same thing to tim

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I love how Bruce tells Duke to guard the Cave & Duke goes "Yes, sir. You got it. Not a single goddamm person is getting into this Cave." Like he takes it so seriously that when the GREEN LANTERN shows up, Duke doesn't think "Hm. He probably has a good reason for being here. Maybe I should ask him?"

No.

He DROPKICKS HIS ASS.

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Despite what you may have heard Bruce Wayne is not, in fact, a furry.

He is, however, very opinionated.

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little doodle of tiny Tim and his big brother Jason, I've been reading so many baby Tim fics lately and they mean the world to me<3

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I was thinking (shocking, I know) and I think the bat kids should have a little auction/market amongst themselves but for like stolen clothing

Like every three months they congregate in a fucking walmart parking lot (bc there’s way too much of them) at 3 am and they trade favours and stolen clothing for funsies.

There are some rules though like; It’s a strictly bat kid thing, no one else is allowed and the clothes must be of family members and family adjacents

Jason and Bruce’s clothes are always in demand bc theyre so fucking big.

*ehem* now here is my rendition of what would happen in one of these auction.

Tim: I’ll take the B/P route for a week if you give me your purple sweatshirt

Steph: Nuh uh 2 weeks or nothing

Dick: ✨guess what I got✨

every Bat kid looking at him, knowing what he was going to take out

Batkids, in synch: show us

Dick, pulling out one of Bruce’s oversized sweaters:

The whole group excluding Dick: Ỉ̸̝̱̪̞̃̅̔̂͜͝ ̸̞͑̊w̸̡̱̙̫̱̯̲̅̈́ȃ̴͖͎̠͔͇͊̂̚n̶̡̧̜͉͙̝̜͑̍t̵̺̭͍̪͛̐̈́ͅ ̸̹͓̳̂̓̇i̵̢̪̰̻̤̎̈̓ͅt̵̜̳̝͘

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one of those tiktok gotham university reporters approaching bernard on the way to one of his bio classes: thoughts on red robin?

bernard, mildly sleep deprived, and knowing full well what tim’s night life is like: smash [proceeds to walk away like nothing happened]

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everybody say happy birthday to dick grayson!

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“The Batkids probably gave Dick so much shit when he first put on the Batsuit.” No. The Batkids all saw Dick in Bruce’s suit and all secretly felt nauseous about how wrong it looked. How wrong it felt.

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Dick is probably the nicest civilian ever when he’s in Bludhaven and all the little old ladies who bring him baked goods and his coworkers at the station have no idea he spends the night beating criminals half to death with his escrima sticks, has the kind of insane family & family loyalty you can’t buy, and would have the entire Justice League at his side with just one phone call.

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i think about these 3 guys (+ titus) eating absolute shit in this panel, frequently.

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bernard def called tim bourgeois all the time