beforeharryrp-blog

[beforeharryrp-blog]

So, this has come too far.

I’m getting really bad death threats. Like, shit about killing my pets, and killing my family? I guess a bunch of people who didn’t get accepted found my personal too, so they got to read my little bit about triggers? I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and a horrible phobia of bugs. People are legitimately sending pictures of bugs to the roleplay, and to my personal, and I don’t know what I did to deserve this. 

I’ve tried to be nice to everyone I can, and I’m so tired.

I stayed up all night to read every application, and I’m being told that I deserve to be raped? I can’t do this -- I tried so hard to ignore all the hate, but this is literally too much for me. My friends are getting messages about how I’m apparently making people suicidal, and I don’t even know what to do, anymore. I just had a full-on anxiety attack over all the bug images on my personal, and I can’t stop crying -- I tried so hard to make sure everyone was happy. I did everything in my power to assure that no one was left out or scared.

And here I am. Being told to get raped by my (dead, mind you) father.

So, I’m sorry for whatever I did to deserve this. I’m sorry if it had something to do with getting upset about the roleplay being copied, or not being able to accept 144 applications. But, I’m mostly sorry for assuming anything different? I’ve been a part of this community for 11 years, and I should have known that being a decent person would result in getting hurt.

So, I don’t know what to do? I honestly don’t know what to do.

I’m closing the ask box, and the submit box. And, I guess that’s it -- I worked so hard on this stupid roleplay just for it to end in me being told to kill myself. And, I’m not even sure what I should apologize for, or why this fucking happened.

I wasted so much time. I tried so fucking hard. And this is where it got me.

About 30+ images of the only thing I’m triggered by, and the subtle reminder that my animals -- which are talked about by name, so thank you again to the person who shared my personal blog -- should be skinned alive and mailed to me, that my entire family should be dead, and that I’m nothing more than “another bitch to be raped”.

Thank you. I can’t fully express my feelings, and I guess I never could. I’ve tried to say it so many times, and I guess that the last counts the most -- thank you.

[beforeharryrp-blog]

in what order will you be sending out the messages? p.s. you are AMAZING and so are your three other wonderful admins thank you guys so much for staying up all night and being so helpful and kind throughout it all you guys deserve everything!! <3 <3 <3

I have a few asks regarding this, but I’d like to thank you, so I’ll respond to this one -- so, thank you! I’d like to also publicly thank the rest of my admins, because I put them through absolute hell last night; I made this entire roleplay by myself, and they were always there for me to scream to -- the three of them are truly the most wonderful roleplayers I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing, and I’m blessed to have such an amazing support group. Truly -- I love you three. 

But, as for order, it’s going to be alphabetical -- by character. So, in example, our Alecto applicants will be contacted first. Then Alice, then Amelia -- until we get to Xenophilius!

I’m going to start now, since I think you’re all going to kill me if I don’t -- but, stay positive, and don’t forget to message me after receiving your ask; I’d like to personally talk to you about your application, and re-assure you that your denial was simply a necessary evil. 

Okay -- I’m going, I’m going. I’ll respond to all the other anonymous messages after my first ask limit is reached, and don’t forget that I love you, guys. No matter what.

[beforeharryrp-blog]

I hate to hit the ask so instantly, and I want to thank you so much for your dedication, but will you be saying /what role/ we will denied for? (like for people who were multiple submissions?)

Don’t worry about it, dear -- I’ve only just begun to attempt to scroll to the bottom of the hell that is our inbox, so you’ve caught me at a good time. But, if you were only denied for one submission, the message will say so -- don’t worry!

[beforeharryrp-blog]

After 15 hours of reading, enough screaming to make Harry Potter’s capslocking rage seem like child’s play, three very tired co-admins who I can’t thank enough, and possibly the most stressful few hours of my life -- we’ve officially read through 144 applications.

And, to start this, wow. I can’t stress enough how ultimately ridiculous the amount of talent you all have? I’ve cried, I’ve laughed -- there was a very particular time that I actually had to pace around my house in a fit of absolute rage -- but, ultimately, I’ve never read such amazing portrayals of the characters I grew up with; the characters that we all grew up with.

With that being said, I hope you all understand when I say it’s been a difficult choice. There were times that we had to bring in 3 other people to help us decide on a role -- properly dragging other roleplay friends out of their comfy beds to sit online and listen to us debate, it’s been a crazy 15 hours, but our decisions have been finalize. Out of 115 applicants, we can only accept 45 (with the exception of OC’s and re-applications, of course) -- and, truly, that’s killing me. Every choice we made was a close call, and if you don’t get accepted, please don’t take it to be a measure of your writing ability, or your roleplaying ability. 

I can promise you that we didn’t come across an application that we didn’t adore, and these next few hours will be spent begging each and every one of you to reapply.

Which, of course, is where I go into what exactly is going to happen in the next few hours -- and, since we all know how prone I am to rambling, I’ll try my best to organize this:

                     ♥     THE ACTUAL MESSAGE.

The same message will be sent to everyone. I know, I know -- I’ve debated with the idea a million times, but in response to having over 100 applicants, there’s really no way else to reach so many people, and do it while being completely efficient.

However, with that being said, the message itself will be nothing but instructions to message the page -- I think every one of you deserves a reason behind being denied, and I’d like to personally scream and rant about every application we received. And, of course, I’d like to give you my opinion on re-applying, and there are a few particular applicants that I’d really like to stress the idea of re-applying for certain (canon, but not written) role.

                    ♥     SENDING THE MESSAGE.

As for where the ask will come from, I have three accounts I plan on using -- my personal, my Sirius blog, and the actual roleplay page. That leaves me 30 asks per hour, and I’ll be adding a 4th account if I feel like I need it. Either way, don’t trust anything anonymous, and be skeptical of any account claiming to be me.

I feel a bit uncomfortable sharing my personal account publicly, but the page itself will be easy to recognize -- if you’re still unsure, simply send an ask to the official roleplay.

                   ♥     IN CONCLUSION ------

The ask box has been re-opened, and while I’ll be very slow responding to any anonymous questions, it’s there if you need it -- I’ll still be checking the tag regularly, and I’d like to thank everyone who has been supportive throughout these last 15 hours. 

As usual, it means the world to me -- you all are such wonderful people, and I hope that there’s no hard feelings in regard to the status of your application; I love you, and please contact me if you’ve been messaged. A lot of our ‘denials’ were extremely close-calls, and I’d love to personally explain the circumstance to you.

I love you, guys. I can’t thank you enough, but I’ll still try, so -- thank you.

[beforeharryrp-blog]

So, I guess it’s time, isn’t it?

I want to firstly apologize to anyone I talked to in the last hour -- things got frantic very quickly, and I probably didn’t give you an answer that was as thought-out and polite as I should have. I wanted to formally -- and publicly -- state that I’m sorry, and I’m sorry to everyone who didn’t get their application in on time. Our second acceptance date will be in about a week, and I hope that your interest in this roleplay stays constant until then.

That being said, to those who applied -- thank you. I say it a lot, but now that it’s official, I need to say it again. Thank you for the time on your application, and thank you for taking a direct interest in this silly little roleplay; it means more than I could ever possibly express, and I’m so humbled to be a part of such a wonderful community of writers.

But, I also know that tomorrow (today, technically) won’t be easy -- so many people have contacted me about stress, and I can’t imagine how nerve-wrecking this process will be for you. And, for that, I’d like to apologize again -- and, I’d like to help the best I can.                         

                      ( ♥ ) THE PLAYLIST --

I was contacted quite a bit about my last playlist, and you all seemed to really like my quirky taste in music? So, I made another -- it’s only 5hrs long, and it varies a bit when it comes to style, but it’s everything that was on my playlist when making the roleplay.

A bit sentimental, and a bit odd -- I thought that it’d be a cool experience we could share, and something that could possibly calm your nerves, just a bit. So, I hope you like it?

                     ( ♥ ) THE ASK BOX --

I know a lot of people used the ask box to soothe their anxieties, and since it’s been closed to better let me entirely focus on our applications, I wanted to ensure that you had an outlet that you knew I’d see -- which, is where our tag comes in.

 Every few hours our admins and I will take a break, and during that break, I’ll be checking our tag -- so, if you have anything to say, you’re welcome to say it there. I’ll be favoriting and replying to posts that have their replies turned on, and generally just enjoying all the things you say.

That being said, I expect you all to be polite and friendly. I know that everyone is a bit stressed right now, and being mean to someone can be a result of that -- but, these are people who are in the exact same situation as you. Be nice to them. Be cautious of talking about the character you applied for, and be cautious of making anyone feel anxious about the situation at hand; the tag is meant to be a place for people to share their interest in the roleplay, not a place where they feel like shit because they’re insecure about their application.

                    ( ♥ ) IN CONCLUSION --

If I have any updates, or if we finish looking through the applications earlier than expected, I’ll make a post on the main. But, as we slip into our application-filled abyss, I’d like to remind you that everything is going to be absolutely fine. Have faith in yourself, and be positive -- I’ll be talking to you all sooner than later, and I hope you all are okay through these next few hours.

And, our last admin just logged onto Skype, so, I guess it’s time to stop rambling. But, as usual, I’d like to say thank you, I love you, and I hope you all try your best to stay calm.

[beforeharryrp-blog]

Sorry if someone has already asked this and you've answered it, but when timezone are you going off of? Like... there'll be acceptances Monday afternoonish, but is that GMT time or EST? lol

EST!

[beforeharryrp-blog]

When does the submit box close in EST?

12AM, darling! 

[beforeharryrp-blog]

Can we still put a reserve on a character? I swear I'm only going to need 30 or so extra minutes added on.

I want to say yes, but I don’t entirely think it’s fair? I’m really sorry, anon; I feel bad, but we all need as much time as we can to go through 100+ applications, and I don’t want to make anyone upset by letting in reserves -- so, I’m really sorry, but I have to say no.

[beforeharryrp-blog]

Any thoughts on a Gilderoy Lockhart? BC he could be real fun to have around. :D

He’s definitely a character I’ll write a biography for after opening? I love Gilderoy with all of my heart, and I only didn’t include him in our first batch because I assumed no one would apply for him -- but, if there’s interest, I’d be more than happy to add him!

[beforeharryrp-blog]

I'm in CST, so what time would the submit close for me??? I just barely found this rp and I'm working on an application and I'm kind of, okay REALLY, nervous about how much time I have left??

11:00PM, darling!

[beforeharryrp-blog]

how are you going to deal with siblings whose fcs aren't the same ethnicity? like i'm looking at rabastan and rodolphus, and should the rabastan application get accepted, you'd have zayn malik, who's half pakistani, and a rodolphus who isn't? like, i know you don't really care much about fcs, but i feel like that sort of racial disparity should be addressed in some way, even if it's like, you putting up a disclaimer that says "i recognize that we're doing this thing, please just ignore it"

Almost all of the applicants who’ve applied for siblings have contacted me about their fluidity, and how open they are to changing -- so, the faceclaims of those two characters be for their two players to decide; and, if those can’t seem to agree, there was talk about half-siblings, and changing things around so they’re actually cousins?

Don’t worry, darling -- I’m completely aware of the problem, and everything will be settled when an applicant have been officially chosen for the role.

[beforeharryrp-blog]

Why Arden Cho? I know you aren't super into Face Claims, so I am a curious kitten.

I just really like how happy she always is? I think her little spasms and mannerisms match what I’m usually attempting to express, so it altogether just seemed like a really good fit? And, I listened to her covers while writing this entire roleplay, so I thought it would be a nice inside joke with myself -- and, of course, Chewy.

[beforeharryrp-blog]

So, in theory, we'll know whether or not we're accepted on Sunday, yeah? Since you'll be messaging anyone who isn't and asking them to reapply? If we don't get a message on Sunday, that means we were chosen? (That sounds like we're joining a cult or something.)

Slightly cult-y, but yes -- you will know if you’ve been chosen.