bitchof-babylon - Tumblr blog

[bitchof-babylon]

Oh shit I just realized I can post the “Gaussian Blur Wizard That Gaussian Blurs You” here

[bitchof-babylon]

Went through a period where my favourite thing to paint was a humanoid figure in yellow robes whose head was a levitating human skull with the antlers of a deer. He spoke directly into a person's head in their own mental voice and his name was Zachariah. He was the closest thing I've had to an imaginary friend and you know what? I miss him

[bitchof-babylon]

this bitch can fit so much lesbian in her

[bitchof-babylon]

tbh yes

[bitchof-babylon]

[bitchof-babylon]

SCENARIO: You (the audience) have a rice cooker. The means of how you obtained or why you own one does not need to be explained. You'd like to make some rice, and the specifics of what kind of rice or of its age, too, does not matter.

Assume that the rice will be rinsed to your liking (without using any soap) and does not require any salt. It is said that the ratio of rice to water should be 1:1; however, your error of margin whether it be over or under here will be (1-5%).

Whether or not you remember to turn on the cook function will also be determined here.

[bitchof-babylon]

self shipping is okay if you can make it funny

a peer into my 1 am machinations. ignore the ass shot 

[bitchof-babylon]

Please reblog this so that I can get a bigger sample size, but DO NOT include anything in the tags about the results, as that could influence other responses

[bitchof-babylon]

My opinion on catgirls is that they can't be uwu perfect waifus or whatever cause then that's just a boring normal anime girl with a different/extra pair of ears. Catgirls need to embody the feline trinity of cute, graceful, and chaotic dumbass. She needs to do blatantly ungraceful things like demonicly contort her face to yawn or bite you when she wants attention or destroy your property. She needs to be a girlboss AND a failwife at the same time. She's not a genuine catgirl unless she inconveniences you at least once a day but you love her too much to stay mad at her for too long.

Plus there's too much untapped potential. Imagine if your cat could speak, was just as big as you, and had thumbs. That's too much potential to reduce to "what if she wore a maid outfit and said 'nyah'?" You gotta commit.

[bitchof-babylon]

A man goes to see his Rabbi in a panic, and he gets there and he says, “Rabbi you’ll never guess what! My son has run away to become a Christian!” And the Rabbi responds, “Well you’ll never guess what! My son has also run away to become a Christian!” So the man asks the Rabbi what to do and the Rabbi says that they should pray to G-d. So they pray and tell him of their plight and G-d replies, “You’ll never guess what!”

- An old Hasidic joke that my Dad likes to tell me

[bitchof-babylon]

i see y’all with your “steven goes to work at the mystery shack” headcanons and i’ve just gotta say… he would absolutely be the sketchiest person in gravity falls

[bitchof-babylon]

Unbaptized babies don't even go to hell proper. If Dante is to be believed they get to hang out in limbo with the virtuous pagans like Socrates.

[bitchof-babylon]

Love seeing something from TikTok and going “girlie that is literally what led to the downfall of the Papal States”

[bitchof-babylon]

Using tumblr is like living in a low class apartment building. You just get used to the landlord not fixing things, and then someone new moves in and you're helpfully like "oh yeah don't drink the tap water, it's got stuff in it that makes you sick" and then your neighbor you've had forever goes "oh they took the stuff out actually" and you're like "what? when was this?"

"like two years ago"

"you mean i could've been drinking the tap water all this time?"

"yeah. they gave us individual mailboxes too finally, you don't have to dig through the communal bin anymore"

"are you for real right now?? i just redirected my mail, i didnt know"

and the new tennant is like "why did you guys even live here if it was so bad"

"we like it."

"I kinda miss the communal mail bin tho"

[bitchof-babylon]

this is gonna sound like a shitpost but the best advice i have if youre consistently coming off wrong is to start talking like an elcor

you will feel like a dumdum at first, but once you get used to it youll realize that telling people what kind of thing you're about to say ahead of time flattens their anxiety a huge amount

ive been starting every question with "question:" for awhile now and i almost never get people reading too much into what i mean anymore

it seems super dumb, but "what are your plans tomorrow?" gets people asking me what i have planned despite me obviously being in the process of figuring that out, whereas "question: what are your plans tomorrow?" gets me a quick rundown of their schedule, followed by "why?"

it also makes it really easy to work tone indicators into your verbal speech. if you're always saying "question: [your question here]?" then no one blinks when you say "genuine question: [question that could read as sarcastic]?"

it also gets you out of your own way for any types of things you struggle to say. "can you make sure to do the dishes before you go to bed?" feels like an argument waiting to happen, but "request: can you make sure to do the dishes before you go to bed?" gets the words flowing on a neutral word while making it clear that you're not looking for a fight

so yeah. suggestion: talk like an elcor

[bitchof-babylon]

original thread by @pukicho and several other users