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[bonusmom4thewin-blog]

Better late than never...

I should have done this sooner. Chronicle the paths of a narcissistic birth mom who attempts to disrupt any happiness in the split home environment and successfully brainwash her children into becoming miniature robots in her likeness. We have been encountering the shrewdness for almost 3 ½ years now.

The bio-mom, whom we refer to as “the black hole” is a self-centered, self-righteous human being who can do no wrong. She fits the true narcissistic personality, so of course there is no hope for awareness and no road to recovery.

The Black Holes method of control: -Lie/Deny -Bully/Temper Tantrum …and when those fail due to rationality… -Become the victim

If I had chronicled this sooner with screenshots of every conversation there would be no doubt to any outsider that the black hole should spend more time in therapy than raising children. She has major anger issues and has no qualms using her children as pawns. We never involve the children in adult matters but that doesn’t stop her.

My DH and I started our relationship shortly after meeting on New Years Eve 2013 when he came to my job as a customer. Once the BH discovered our relationship, she stalked my Facebook page, found my place of employment and contacted my management attempting to have me fired. She lied, stating I ended her marriage when in fact there is legal documentation that their marriage ended before we even met let alone were involved romantically. My DH confronted her at her home, and the conversation that took place wasn’t going well she decided to call the police a few days later and claim he assaulted her. With the help of an extremely liberal man-hating judge a restraining order was set in place. However we didn’t realize at that time she had left us a threatening voicemail a few days prior that could have drastically changed the outcome of the restraining order. Over the next few months with disruptive temper tantrums and every week the kids coming every weekend with “mommy said you are a bad man, you are a liar, you beat mommy, mommy said you are going to kill her and she’s praying for her soul, you are garbage (directed at me because I refused to sit out on our 3 year daughters recital and 4 year old sons pre-k graduation because it made her uncomfortable), and mommy said she’s going to find us a new daddy. All of these we video documented. She successfully brain-washed our son, but luckily our daughter takes after my DH and understood that those things were not true. We still struggle with our son due to him being a victim of parental alienation. He has behavioral issues in school and at home, has been disruptive and aggressive and has shown a lack of respect for authority figures. He lacks empathy and blames others for his wrong doings. He drastically takes after his mother and he sees her as an angel who does no harm. He is currently 7. The restraining order has long expired and we now have joint custody which we fought for and won despite her disputes. Our son struggles with the difference in our 2 homes, ours offering healthy opportunities for independence and growth while maintaining structure with positivity, rules, rewards and consequences. Her home lacks balance and basically allows the kids to run it as long as it suits her. She still showers with our son who is 7, and allows the children to see each other unclothed even though it's not appropriate at their ages. She feeds them mostly processed, pre-packaged food such as corn dogs, pizza etc with high amounts of sugar and sodium. There is rarely a vegetable served at her home and she almost never feeds them fruit outside of grapes or bananas. Our 6 year old daughter has elevated cholesterol per her last visit to the pediatrician (she loves meat) and we try to keep an ear on what meals she feeds them. We feed them at least 5 fruits and veggies a day and keep junk food at a minimum. We have had long text conversations where she tries to use her 3 methods of control because she doesn't agree with the way we feed the children.

... To be continued.