That’s seriously the whole damn thing…. I don’t miss you. I miss the idea of who I thought you were. I’m still in shock that I let my guard down for this. I’m mad at myself, mad at the world and mad at my brain for constantly replaying images of you. Only highlighting the parts I want to remember, the parts I want to romanticize; All while I’m pacifying your evils ways…
My new Squish. I know they have their own names but I always tend to make up my own anyways. I bought this one in honor of my niece who was born prematurely and passed away. I named the squish “Hope”. My nieces name was Faith, so it seems super fitting. Oh I wish I could’ve seen you grow Faith… I loved you till the moment I learned about you. Till the after life. 🖤
Life has been throwing things my way left and right. And as happy as I am spending and taking care of my little boy, I still find myself over taken by sadness.