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“You may not be hurting me intentionally, but even then I have a right to walk out of this relationship” has revolutionized my concept on human connection for real. Like someone doesn’t have to be an awful person for me to walk out of something that’s making me uncomfortable?? I can still decide enough is enough in spite of a person’s best intentions??? Mind blown

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a big lesson for me was learning that most things are not as fragile as I’d believed. missing a class, or turning in a bad assignment, won’t instantly destroy your professor’s opinion of you. accidentally saying something harsh won’t make your friend want to end the friendship. it takes work to repair these things - it takes effort and research and sometimes a sincere apology - but you can do that because they’re not irreparably broken. what you’ve worked to build, in academia and in relationships and in life, is stronger and more enduring that your mind may teach you to believe. don’t let imagined fragility lead you to giving up

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You’re tired. Burnt out. Exhausted. Stressed.

This lowers your capacity for emotional regulation.

You’ll cry more easily. Get dragged into low moods more easily. Simple little things where you’re like ‘dang, that shouldn’t hit so hard,’ will wallop you.

This will trick you into thinking you’re weak and can’t handle life. A loser.

Not so my friend.

It’s a signal that you need a nap, need to allow for more sleep at night, need to prioritize and scale back on what you can accomplish in a day, need to take a mental health day or even a leave.

Something’s got to give.

But!

It’s not your self worth.

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ngl watching how some of y’all talk about Carmen makes me so fucking depressed as someone with a lot of baggage and trauma

no one said you have to put up with bullshit behavior forever, but if you think that someone who was torn down every day of their life is gonna be perfect the moment they realize they have a problem to fix in themselves, you’re going to be disappointed. repeatedly. forever.

none of y’all deserve Sydney either, bc she’s a damn good depiction of what it’s like to be someone who loves and cares for someone who’s fucked up. A side of the equation I ALSO happen to be familiar with. you hold that person accountable for shit behavior, back away when you need to for your health, and because you love them, you fucking come back.

Idk what kind of interpersonal relationships y’all have that can so easily be thrown away the moment shit isn’t perfect the way YOU need it, but this fucking “I don’t owe anyone anything least of all my shoulder to cry on” mindset sucks dick and balls when applied to media as much as it does in real life.

People are burdens. Plain and simple. Community requires sacrifice, love and partnership requires sacrifice. Or at the very fucking least: compromise.

Like. If you met someone who understood you better than anyone, a person whose entire life has been parallel to yours in a way that uniquely binds the two of you, y’all would really just fucking walk away WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING just because they’re hurting and lashing out? Because that’s what y’all are advocating for, and that’s the fucking problem.

So many of y’all have this “I shouldn’t have to speak up and set a boundary” mindset. you just fucking sulk and stew in it and then blow up because you never set your foot down when you needed to.

Even if Sydney walks away from Carmen, she needs to fucking speak up or she’s gonna get walked on AGAIN. She deserves better but she also has to fucking ask for it. And that’s entirely separate from the fact that Carmen needs to pull his head out of his ass.

Either way, I think we would all do well to fucking self-reflect.

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truly some people have no genre savviness whatsoever. A girl came back from the dead the other day and fresh out of the grave she laughed and laughed and lay down on the grass nearby to watch the sky, dirt still under her nails. I asked her if she’s sad about anything and she asked me why she should be. I asked her if she’s perhaps worried she’s a shadow of who she used to be and she said that if she is a shadow she is a joyous one, and anyway whoever she was she is her, now, and that’s enough. I inquired about revenge, about unfinished business, about what had filled her with the incessant need to claw her way out from beneath but she just said she’s here to live. I told her about ghosts, about zombies, tried to explain to her how her options lie between horror and tragedy but she just said if those are the stories meant for her then she’ll make another one. I said “isn’t it terribly lonely how in your triumph over death nobody was here to greet you?” and she just looked at me funny and said “what do you mean? The whole world was here, waiting”. Some people, I tell you.

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VI. wisdom: the voice of god by Mary Karr

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on identity

ojibwe / noah kahan / richard siken / unknown / unknown / oamisoa / cameron awkward-rich

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Another piece of diet culture to unlearn: that eating an "unhealthy" food negates the benefits of other nutritious things you've eaten. Put bacon and ranch on your salad? Congratulations, you still got a lot of fiber, that's great for your gut biome, and the veggies still contain nutrients. Finished up your dinner with a dessert? You still ate the dinner. You don't have to eat "pure" to take in nutrition from your meals.

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one of the saddest things is when someone in your family tells you you would've loved someone who died before you were born. like my mother has told me & my best friend that we would have loved talking to her father. that me & my brothers have the same humor as our late uncle & even look like him. everyone is everywhere & nowhere & here & gone & dying & coming back. it's as though you know them through their shadow or their ghost or your own actions, but you won't ever really know. haunts me, i guess

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unpopular opinion but i think maybe right now we all need to just try to do better. do better in our own everyday lives. keep our sides of the street clean. we can’t control a lot of what’s happening right now, but we do have a responsibility to be active in our communities. on the national scale, we’ve lost the plot. so let’s start on a smaller scale. a neighborhood scale. a friend group scale. a workplace scale. try to do better and be better, try to be more compassionate and generous and kind and honest. get back to not automatically assuming the worst of everyone around us all the time. leave aggression and conflict to do their part only when absolutely necessary. do no harm but take no shit.

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do you ever think about this quote by mary lambert because i think about it all the time

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Ratatouille (2007) dir. Brad Bird

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I don’t think you’re ready to have an adult conversation about politics until you’re able to admit that there are things you love and enjoy that would not and should not exist in a just world. $8 billion dollar budget movies every other month don’t exist in a just world. New 900 GB AAA video games every year don’t exist in a just world. Next day delivery doesn’t exist in a just world. 80 different soda brands don’t exist in a just world. 

All of those things come from exploitation on some level, and if you wouldn’t trade those for a world where everyone can eat and have a home no matter who they are or what they do, I don’t know what to tell you. 

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It's okay to 'grieve' things that aren't just death. I've allowed myself to grieve a friendship ending, a situationship, losing something important to me, etc. It's okay to give yourself time to process the loss of something. Grief looks different for everyone, try to find a way that works for you to help make it easier for you.

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Weather so beautiful it reminds you that you have no one in your life and nothing to do

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Growing up is actually all about realizing people don’t inherently dislike you and it’s a bit odd to assume they do

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my first words were no live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality