bpdcrybaby213 - Tumblr blog

[bpdcrybaby213]

[bpdcrybaby213]

[bpdcrybaby213]

"Someday you will ache like I ache". but you get to wait until you're 90 years old.

[bpdcrybaby213]

[bpdcrybaby213]

[bpdcrybaby213]

I'm super low on weed. Feeling sober feels like being dead inside. I fucked up bad and spent way too much money this month to the point it fucked over my mom and boyfriend and I owe a lot of money to people. If it's not one bad habit, it's another. I'm trying to lose weight and lack of binge eating puts me on edge and then I wanted to spend money. I always have to have a vice. It's a constant war. This lack of self control I fear is neverending.

[bpdcrybaby213]

i feel dead inside or is that just sobriety

[bpdcrybaby213]

[bpdcrybaby213]

absolutely criminal how falling into bad habits is the easiest thing in the world while developing positive habits feels like fighting a literal war

[bpdcrybaby213]

[bpdcrybaby213]

i wish the world was a more gentle place to psychotic people

[bpdcrybaby213]

cemeteries aren’t creepy they’re actually devoted to memory and rest and love and humanity

[bpdcrybaby213]

This is just your daily reminder that your lived experience is valid. No one else gets to speak on if you’ve had it rough or not. No one else gets to tell you that everything you’ve suffered through was for attention. No one gets to tell you that you should’ve just tried harder or been better. No one gets to tell you that someone else having it harder invalidates your own struggle. Your pain is valid. Your struggle is valid. You are valid.

[bpdcrybaby213]

I’m sorry the people around you think you’re weak for crying. Bodies are designed to release stress through tears. The fact that so many were taught to suppress their body’s functioning isn’t on you.

Be brave.

Rebel.

Cry.

[bpdcrybaby213]

Ugh. No matter how much I try to work on my DBT, I still fuck up. My boyfriend is seriously thinking about ending the relationship it seems for real this time because my BPD behaviors won't stop and it's frequent. If I could just get therapy, I could get help with the DBT. I feel like I can't learn it on my own. I'm losing my family. I act like a monster. And I honestly feel I can't control it no matter how hard I try. And no one believes me. They say I choose it. I just want to be able to control my emotions even just a little.

[bpdcrybaby213]

Still working on my DBT. I marked certain skills with sticky flags. I don't work on it every day but I try to when I'm struggling and want to find better ways to cope.

[bpdcrybaby213]

I forgot to take my meds last night and I feel weird and irritable today. New rule is I don't smoke weed until after I've taken my meds for the night.