bstroobery - Tumblr blog

[bstroobery]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[bstroobery]

Hey… just wanted to give a quick update on things going on rn irl because it’s interfering with… well… everything.

For starters, we haven’t been doing a lot of drawing or writing lately due to a bunch of school work (especially since we start student teaching in August. We’re literally almost a senior in college and a year from getting our bachelors and teaching license this is so scary). Plus… health issues.

Long and short: vision. Our vision is bad. Like… really bad. So, we’re gonna be getting eye surgery sometime soon (we’re still working out the dates and all of that stuff) and getting an artificial lens in both eyes due to horrible cataracts that have formed and are causing obstructions in our vision. (Long and short of that is we’re going blind and need surgery to see). We’ve also been trying to work in order to save money for student teaching since we’ll literally be paying to work a full time job next semester.

Long and short, we haven’t forgotten any projects we’ve been working on (I personally have been debating about continuing TMNTPIE because it’s just been a weird kinda thing. Blue continues to work on the AFF and PI constantly in the planning stage and has recently taken up another project that makes me want to shake them by the shoulders and tell them to take a damned break).

So… that’s why we’ve been pretty dead on this blog. Nothing to really talk about and no time to talk except for today. So, yeah… we’ll continue to be inactive for a while…

-🔦

[bstroobery]

🍓: Alright. We’re done with plushies. No more plushies. We are not getting any more plushies

System littles: Hold my juice box

[bstroobery]

🤍 -> Dark Academia/Lovecore Stimboard !

📦 -> with black, white & agere stims !

📬 -> rqd by anon !

📓 -> ☕️ - 🖤 - ☕️ / 🖤 - ☕️ - 🖤 / ☕️ - 🖤 - ☕️

🔓 -> Requests Are Open ! Request Rules !

DNI -> NSFW/Kink/Etc. A Minor Runs This Blog !

[bstroobery]

(x)

[bstroobery]

i updated it due to current happenings

edit: FUCKING REBLOG IT. LIKES DONT MEAN SHIT!

[bstroobery]

Right, considering the current state of corporate politics on this site, and that it seems that only those affected seem to be actively speaking on the matter, it is up to I, the only fucking cishet on tumblr, to drag this out to a wider audience.

REBLOG IF YOUR ACCOUNT IS A TRANSFEM SAFE SPACE.

We need to show these higher ups how much we truly value them.

[bstroobery]

"my brain said"

Translation: an alter said something funny that I must share with you

[bstroobery]

me: I’m faking :(

also me: using us/we even b4 “I” thought I had DID, thinking of myself as “multiple” for many years before even knowing what DID was, doesn’t remember about 70% of my life, has greyed out “memories” for about 15% and emotional amnesia for the other 5%, has whole ass arguments with people in my head (“we should eat this” “no, we should eat that” “no, this”) again before even knowing what DID was, LITERALLY HAVING SOMEONE CONTROL THE BODY WHEN TRIGGERED AND KNOWING IT WASNT ME ???

me: .......but what if-

-samuel (host)

[bstroobery]

Y’all, Y’know when you’re self-diagnosed, and then start questioning reality and your experiences so you just sit there wallowing in self-doubt about being a system, despite so much proof being there and the fact that your headmates are giving you a look of “bitch this is the third time this month (we love you tho)” and just… wanting an official diagnosis but scared because if you aren’t diagnosed then does all of that experience go away?? And if you are diagnosed, what then?? Will you be treated like you can’t take care of yourself? Will you have less rights than you do now?? But now you have a diagnosis. That’s literally the entire point right?? Like, just to be valid as a system and have some sort of outside opinion on the matter so you can justify this to yourself, right??

Anyway, yeah I’m fine. Doubting my experiences being part of a system is a thing I hate spiraling into sometimes.

Btw anyone got any advice to help with that in the future???

-🍓

[bstroobery]

Jack: You wanna know how I got in this situation? Well, so would I.

Legit we might write something on AO3 based off of our weird shit. Like this weird little redemption story of some of the villain alters in this system.

Also drew this instead of getting ready for class like I was supposed to-

Oh well. Have a doodle :)

-🔦

[bstroobery]

Our family: You’ve got a major obsession with Handsome Jack…

Jack🎭, fronting but trying to mask currently: Yeah. Weird huh?

Jack🎭, in headspace: I am egotistical, aren’t I…?

Blue🍓: Yeah. But you’re not the only one with the obsession/hyperfixation currently

Jack🎭: Meaning????

Rhys🦾:

Rhys🦾: Why is everyone staring at me…?

[bstroobery]

💙 Rhack Stimboard for anon 💙

Credits in Captions

[bstroobery]

We have a kind of similar issue, from what I’ve heard from other alters that is.

We’re mostly doing a “we know we have this disorder, but we know that we won’t check literally every box because human brains are complex and shit like that” so our hosts do research on their own about DID as a whole, get a bit dissociated, or even start fake claiming themselves because of the fact that we don’t check every box.

So, over here anyway, we’re doing two things: just living with it and not worrying about it too much (and attempting to hide it from others because we’re currently not in a safe physical environment for systems), and we’re also doing our own research in our own system specifically. Like, writing down things we notice.

For example, we have something we call “voice glitches.” It’s always a little stutter where you accidentally say two words at once, or repeat yourself like a normal stutter, even if you don’t have one. It’s always a sign that we need to pause and think for a second before continuing to speak, or that a huge wave of dissociation/rapid switching might come if you’re in the front.

Another thing is how we all share dreams. Whole system has the same dream.

Or how they’re just a little tv where we can watch imaginary shit.

So many interesting things that we’ve noticed and written down and doesn’t cause us dissociation. However, it’s also stuff our hosts have been scared to share due to fearing being fakeclaimed and people just… not relating to our experiences. (Also seen so much about system in-fighting that none of us relate to at all because we have alters whose job is to be a mediator and help with conflict, so hosts keep fake claiming themselves because of that too funnily enough :/ )

But yeah. That’s just my two cents :)

-🎭

Something minorly infuriating is the fact that im pretty sure im still not supposed to “know” about DID.

I’ve known for years about our DID, and ive done a ton of reasearch and looked into so many different things, and interacted in/been around so many different system spaces.

But every single time, without fail, even years later, if i spend a bit too much time reading about/hearing about/thinking about/etc. etc. DID, i get super disassociated and get a massive headache, and i have amnesia surrounding those moments a lot. I dont know if its another alter, or what, it doesnt feel like it.

But that gets super annoying because we have this disorder, and its so much of who we are, who i am that this happens so much, because this disorder affects every part of our life. But spending to much time even thinking about it dissociates us and gives us a massive fucking headache for hours.

Its like even though i know about our DID, im not supposed to know about it, yk? And that gets super annoying. Because its most of who i am.

anyways its really kicking our ass tonight because reasons, so i just wanted to yell about that. Let me know if you have any advice/relate at all/vnf

-host

[bstroobery]

Playing Tales from the Borderlands and seeing AI Jack and Jack🎭 is just like “yeah, that’s how this feels most of the time.”

Like… he explained the whole fucking thing and shit and just… damn. Glad he’s actually dealing with shit and learned.

Also, he’s complaining about having a conscience again and that’s just hilarious to me.

-🔦

[bstroobery]

Me🔦: Are you an Introject of Jack or Timothy??

Jack🎭: Yes

[bstroobery]

Our Singletsona!!

Picrew

Picrew

Picrew

Name: [Redacted for our privacy because it’s the same as the body’s :/]

Gender: Nonbinary (specifically Demi-girl) and uses literally any pronouns (mostly found people use she/they tho)

Sexuality: Demisexual and demiromantic (listen, we as a system need to all agree for our partner if we ever have one outside the system mkay?)

Likes: Snakes, cute stuff, creepy stuff, walking (only liked physical activity), drawing, writing, cats, bunnies, Halloween, coffee, sushi, sweets, fall, winter, cold temperatures, swimming, music (literally cannot travel without music. It is a MUST HAVE)

Hates: Birds, spiders, physical activity, pizza, chocolate covered potato chips (do not ask), painting, summer, hot temperatures, Christianity (the overall religion, but those who practice it are ok as individuals we promi)

Hobbies: drawing, writing, reading, watching YouTube, cooking, baking

Personality: shy around new people but confident around people they know, worried about money and finances often, teacher, loves working with kids and wants to help them succeed, wants to promote autonomy in kids but understands that some kids don’t want autonomy yet, pagan (yes our entire system is pagan too. No judging), practices witchcraft, switches between cute clothes and a t-shirt and jeans depending on the day and what’s available to wear, packs a lunch daily to work and school because of strict dietary restrictions (gluten intolerance, lactose intolerance, and diabetes make it impossible to safely eat school or restaurant foods), but also isn’t a picky eater, has anxiety and depression, absolutely insane /pos, talks to herself OFTEN, very imaginative and creative, so fucking socially awkward it’s not even funny, nicest person you’ll ever meet (if I had a nickel for every time our friends told us we were too kind for this world I swear. It’s all from Blue, but still)

We just made this because we’re proud of have made our singletsona as if they were an OC :3

-🔦