buildingrelationshipsinanarchy

[buildingrelationshipsinanarchy]

Intimacy goes beyond kisses, cuddles, and sex. It's when you're feeling low, and your partner gently comforts you, listens to you, and helps you unpack your insecurities through deep conversations. It's about calling to check in, making sure they've eaten or taken their medicine.

it's more than sex.

[buildingrelationshipsinanarchy]

healthy relationships are created, not found

[buildingrelationshipsinanarchy]

someone who is soft and careful with your heart.

[buildingrelationshipsinanarchy]

Those who desire to heal with their hands, to lovingly lay hands on a loved one and repair their old injuries, or to arouse with their hands, stimulating great amounts of energy to flow, must work with their hands more often to build their brain-hand consciousness. So much of the book series was written on paper by my very hand first. Other things you can do beyond handwriting is gardening, chopping fruit and vegetables and kneading spices, speaking life into your hands, massaging your hands, looking at the details of your hands, eating mindfully with your hands or chopsticks, drawing, crocheting, or creating something else with your hands, giving yourself a manicure (sans toxic nail polish, if it is in your finances, opt for more natural polish instead) , strengthening and stretching exercises for your hands, placing your hands in prayer position and praying into your hands, learning skills like belly dance that uses many hand gestures that soften the hands, making them more flexible and magnetic, and the like. —India Ame’ye From Chapter “Anointed Hands: Skills of the Lover”

[buildingrelationshipsinanarchy]

“i can make time” a huge love language

[buildingrelationshipsinanarchy]

Soul love is like nothing you have ever experienced and it's truly a force to be reckoned with.

It will make you transcend and turn into the best version of yourself though, and it will encourage you to choose yourself every single time.

[buildingrelationshipsinanarchy]

So,

I've been reflecting on some things. Polyamory and relationship anarchy, to practice them full depth, I believe, requires the cultivation of a lot of personal skills:

Patience, grace, emotional courage, honesty, openness, mindfulness, discipline, compassion and loving-kindness, to simply name a few.

As such, the prioritization of freedom in our language and value systems have become something I find short-sighted at best, self-decietful at worst.

While I value freedom in the sense of being able, and needing at times, to leave relationships, re/negotiate boundaries & agreements, and simply allow ourselves to change in whatever ways we individually need to without being beholden to things we can no longer fulfill.

Simultaneously, what self-respect can we have if we make agreements and then break them as our desires change? What accountability in relationships, romantic or otherwise, are we neglecting or disregarding if we let ourselves reach for more than we can hold with care and attention?

Love and loving aren't solo acts, they are collaborative projects, flawed, yet mutualistic bonds, challenging, though rewarding endeavors.

Unless your heart is shallow and your love empty, prioritizing individualistic pleasure seeking over understanding the weight and value of a multitude of deep, intimate bonds just makes you a timebomb for your network.

Intimacy, esp in our turbulent times, requires forgiveness and grace, patience and hopefulness, resilience and redemption, things that we as larger culture in the West have decided to throw away in order to hold onto mantras and ideologies of 'more ethical/radical than thou' and refuses to develop the self beyond it's obviously shortcomings by saying we're 'built different'.

At some point in time, our lives will all is to accept the imperfect, the less than fantasy, the 'needs some work', not out of pity or charity, but from an awareness that our love needs to learn how to evolve.

It is too easy to be black-pilled, esp with the world becoming more horrifying everyday, but letting ourselves become so separate and extreme in the wrong ways, will skill over into the places we seek to keep separate from the world that we hate.

As such, at some point, we, as lovers, ought to offer our hearts, souls, time to those we love, lest we cease to grow in the value of our own paths. We, at some point, ought to understand the richness that lay within us, as those who devoutly seek to be lovers, enjoyers, pleasers and caregivers.

If we have planted love like seeds, there should be much to receive in return, even doubly so the more challenging the intimate terrain of another's heart and world. If we seek pleasure as though it is life itself, we fail to value what the depth of our efforts can create in love.

Can you be dependable and considerate? Open while being emotionally courageous? Kind, while delivering challenging honesty? Forgiving when we ourselves or others make mistakes, do harm, or fail to navigate our collective brokenness?

Seeking love for the self says nothing about the love offer from the self into others. This is not some simple ethical issue where we assign blame and/or create conflict & distance. This is an issue of shaking oneself toward being a true lover of those who open their hearts, schedules, lives, and bodies for us to enjoy.

If we cannot give gratitude for that by offering ourselves to gold we've found and have been offered, what was the value of the freedom? To just consume another, for long or short, and just move on? There's no love in that.

[buildingrelationshipsinanarchy]

“I am not saying renounce sex, I am saying transform it. It need not remain just biological: bring some spirituality to it. While making love, meditate too. While making love, be prayerful. Love should not be just a physical act; pour your soul into it.”

— Osho (via ladyspeechsankofa)

[buildingrelationshipsinanarchy]

What if

And hear me out

You cuddled me into your chest while I covered you in kisses and we stayed like that for hours

What do you think

[buildingrelationshipsinanarchy]

I want my eroticism mixed with love. And deep love one does not often experience.

Anaïs Nin, from Delta of Venus

[buildingrelationshipsinanarchy]

You are lovable

[buildingrelationshipsinanarchy]

—Andrea Gibson, "Good Light," Lord of the Butterflies

[buildingrelationshipsinanarchy]

April 14, 1923 Journals of Anais Nin 1923-1927 [volume 3]

[buildingrelationshipsinanarchy]

honestly being around people who are not uncomfortable with you having feelings and desires makes the people who were uncomfortable so much worse in retrospect

[buildingrelationshipsinanarchy]

Perhaps the biggest tragedy of our lives is that freedom is possible, yet we can pass our years trapped in the same old patterns...We may want to love other people without holding back, to feel authentic, to breathe in the beauty around us, to dance and sing. Yet each day we listen to inner voices that keep our life small.

— Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha

[buildingrelationshipsinanarchy]

I'm turning my tags into poetry, before they slip into oblivion.

[buildingrelationshipsinanarchy]