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Alhamdulillah, currently in my 3rd year of medical school and has started my clinical posting. 

Staying in other’s country surely not an easy life. Im still struggling with the people, cultures and also the languages.  How people communicate and act here definetly differ from my homeland. But one thing for sure, smile is the universal language.  I wonder how can a simple act (smile) can enlighten my day. Subhanallah. It’s so good to see others smiling at you. 

One of the greatest thing I’ve learnt so far - Perception. At this moment, I believed that people will act according to our perception.  When we perceived others with good perception, in turn they will be so nice.  Subhanallah, Im blessed with good people around me. I’m blessed with passionate doctors,nice PGs who always keen to teach me (eventhough I’m always clueless), and nurses that always there to teach me the simplest things (yet important) in this field. The key is perception. As long as Im having a good thought about them, I believed they will be nice too. Never judge.  XOXO~

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Dia Berjalan tanpa Melihatku

Saat itu aku sedang bersusah payah, berusaha menghentikannya sejenak tapi dia tetap berjalan. Aku sedang bekerja siang malam, membuat diri ini siap pada setiap kemungkinan. Sayangnya dia terus berjalan, tanpa peduli bagaimana keadaanku.

Aku tidak bisa berandai-andai padanya. Semua pengandaian itu menguap menyisakan kesia-siaan, juga penyesalan.

Saat itu, aku sedang berdoa. Memohon kepada Tuhan, semoga diberikan yang terbaik disaat yang tepat. Aku tahu dia memang tidak akan pernah peduli, kepada siapapun. Dia akan tetap berjalan tanpa memberikan ruang sebentar, jeda untuk menatapku.

Dia terus berjalan tanpa melihatku. Membiarkanku hanyut dalam berbagai kekhawatiran dan kecemasan, membiarkanku terpedaya oleh keadaan. Dan suatu hari, dia akan menjadi saksi dihadapan Tuhan atas apa yang telah kulewati. Sepanjang bersamanya, sepanjang itu pula dia tidak peduli.

Dialah waktu.

Yogyakarta, 6 Desember 2017 | ©kurniawangunadi

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Midnight thought

Semester break~

Alhamdulillah, i’ve survived my first year in med school. Overall, it’s full of adventure and enjoying. Ya, I know, living in medical school is not so enjoying, but I just love it. And also the result has came out, and once again, alhamdulillah. Eventhough, not so flying colours, but there’s little improvement from the first sem. And for sure, I’ll work harder next time.

My first sem result has taught me a lot. ya, being one of the best student during highschool, it’s hard to accept the fact that you’re not always at the top. I cried almost a week over my bad result. Actually it’s not that bad for med school, but I just dont know why. And the pain is inevitable. I cried so bad, and lastly I decided that I need to do something. Thanks to Allah for giving me this test, it brings me back to You. 

Okay, stop bout it. and finally, I’m home after about 5months struggling and playing( arrived on 23.06.17, a day before Eid). Celebrating Eid with beloved family, one of the most precious gift. Unfortunately, I wouldnt be able to celebrate it with them next year, but its okay. A little pain for bigger things. Allah has planned well, may He eases everything.

Holiday doenst meant no book and revision. Stiil I have to do some revision, but thats okay. I planned a lot for this holiday, but I dont know how much it has worked. here is the list of my plannings

1. Recite Quran, Iadah and Murajaah

2. Stay at home, learn to cook! Also so called “housewife training”

3. Follow and keep company of Ummi

4. annoyed Nini as much as I can

5.Catching up with old friends

6. Visit DQ

7. Shopping! Ive been fasting from shopping since feb. Poor me

And the list goes on. Hopefully this holiday will be spent wisely. Okay, stop mumbling. Bye

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Everybody Is Growing Up

Current mood : mixed

Now is actually my study weeks. Just a few days before the semester exam :’( But now here i am, expressing my current feeling.

It is hard to believe and to live within the air. One of us is getting married just a couple days ahead. Feeling like im gonna loss my friend. I dont know why, and i know i should not feel like this. But i cant just hold myself. Maybe it’s too early for me, or im just too hormonal. 

I know, one day somehow our priority will change. And you’ll have to devote your life for someone that deserve it. Ya surely im gonna go through the same, but not now for sure. Late night talk and gossiping and random call might be hard after this. 

Dear, eventhough you will have someone special after this, I hope you’ll never forget me, how close we used to be. and just remember, I’ll always be there for you anytime. I know you’re not gonna change a bit and you will always be you. 

And the saddest thing is, I cant be by her side during her akad nikah. I wasnt there for her engagement, and now once again i couldn’t make it. Feel so bad, im sorry dear. But I’ll try my best to make it on your reception day. 

Lastly, Asma, Be a good wife to your husband ( i know you will ) and im looking for super cute nephew/niece. May Allah grant you His jannah, and there we will meet again:)

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Bidadari

Jumaat,20May2016 Sedang dalam perjalanan menziarahi sahabat abah, dikejutkan dengan notifikasi daripada seorang teman. “Zaf dah takda.” ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Genap setahun pemergian arwah. Perginya seorang teman yang telah aku siakan kehadirannya dalam hidup ini. “Kenapa perlu sedih dan menangis? Dia pergi pada hari mulia, dalam keadaan yang baik. InsyaAllah syurga menanti dia.” -Ummi Ya sahabat, mengapa perlu aku bersedih sedang aku yakin, kamu pasti bahagia di ‘rumah baharu’ kamu. “Awak, boleh tolong tasmikkan kite tak?” -Kata-kata yang sering kudengar, hampir setiap hari tiga tahun lalu. Kematian yang menghidupkan. Bagaimana mungkin kamu tidak bahagia disana, sedangkan aku sendiri menjadi saksi betapa hebatnya kamu? Pagi kamu yang dimulai dengan tahajud, kemudian ke masjid menunaikan solat subuh dan menghabiskan masa dengan surat cinta daripada Si Dia. Sangat baik terhadap ahli keluargamu, juga teman. Sentiasa menjaga tutur kata. ‘Awak, kita minta maaf kalau tadi kita buat awak terasa hati’- Aku sendiri binggung, apakah kata-kata mu yang telah mengguris hatiku? -------------------- Zaf, kita rindu, Awak selalu hadir dalam mimpi kita, saat kita gelisah, bagi kita semangat. Awak hadir dengan senyuman yang paling manis. sangat tenang. Awak, tunngu saya, ya!

Berehatlah disana, wahai bidadari syurga!

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Wonder.

Standing here Living on this world Wondering. Why Im here? Searching and seeking Can anybody tell me, The true meaning of life?