one with the clouds ☆ Starburst Pantheon Sys ☆ starburstpantheon on Discord
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We looked inside some of the posts by c0ntaminxted and here's what we found interesting.
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258K
Likes Per Post
120K
Reblog Per Post
138K
Reply Per Post
345
Time Between Posts
5 hours
Number of Posts By Type
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16
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1
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im thinking of renaming our system to The House of Clouds. we are literally living in the clouds so like--
#thoughts ??#-jael#plurality#plural system#pluralgang#actually plural#plural community#also this is at you mutuals#im gonna call yall cloudy mutuals. heheh#new tag alert#cloudy mutuals
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wonder how many people are plural and just straight up are in denial or ignore the signs longer because they don't feel like they qualify.
this was honestly me, I was suspecting there were other friends in my head with the way I suffer from depersonalization, but I pushed that denial further cuz I felt like a faker. i accept myself now despite having some shortcomings but my heart goes out to systems that are too scared or prefer to be secretive.
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i was laying here dissociated like crazy (i still am) and i just realised. how have i not hit the post limit
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whoever came up with rhytmn games was a genius. what if we took music and gave it gameplay. no notes 10/10.
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”I want to know your headcount” “I want to know who’s fronting” so do I, get in line
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actually so fucked how many things there are online that tell people "so you're friends/partners/aquaintances with a narcissist? here's how to deal with it: Completely starve of them of attention and ignore them and never let them speak of highly of themself and just generally completely avoid them" ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME THAT IS NOT A NORMAL WAY TO TREAT ANYBODY. THATS SO FUCKED UP WHY IS THIS SUCH COMMON ADVICE
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btw if you’re fat and your partner doesn’t love you wholeheartedly, if they’re attracted to you “despite” your body, if they avoid touching you, if they look away from certain parts of you, you’re allowed to break up with that person. look at me. you can do better. you are not unloveable and you don’t have to settle i fucking promise.
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as much as i would like for us to be recognized medically as a dissociative system i dont think i give off the impression of being more than one
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#i think dread doesn this lmao#we have a physical memory bank that and he's a part of the crew that manages it#and there's a section of the vault that's essentially off limits#-jael
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should i tell my therapist about our plurality. should i. i mean they are kinda a big part of my life so-- i mean--
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im home but at what cost. im just gonna be lonely again. i literally had a breakdown + shutdown last night BECAUSE i was lonely ugh idk what im gonna do
#im feeling really shit#and what's funny is that not only did i tell my practitioner that the medicine has been helping me regulate my emotions#(not really)#but i started therapy yesterday. and i love her already. but idk what im gonna take out of this#i just talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and i didn't even tell her what i really even wanted out of therapy#i would like to tell her at some point that we're a dissociative system#or tell her about our amnesia issues or just the fact that i cant deal with being lonely for a day#sigh. i miss being in school#weirdly enough. at least i knew that i'd be around people#even if i really couldn't handle it some days#but they were there. and those who cared about me would help me through it#but now i have virtually nothing. one of my closest went to the navy. everybody else has a job. and our psys is impossible for me to talk to#all i have is myself and rarely another headmate#and roblox ig. roblox is fun. im lonely on there too tbh#anyway. im gonna rest now#-jael#vent
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uhm so i dont remember really any part of yesterday except for my little. erm. episode but im ok now
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i can't even think of anything to help me right now that isn't a person. im not at home. i can't move around much. im panicking. i can't even reach my caretaker. everything is too much it's making everything fuzzy and blurry. my head hurts too much i wanna go to bed. please let the crying stop i just wanna go to sleep
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im not okay. im not okay im not okay im not okay. im so upset. im crying. why am i crying? im glad im by myself right now or this would be embarrassing. but actually this is horrible. i don't wanna be by myself. i need somebody to be with me right now. nobody's awake. anybody who just happens to be awake doesn't want to talk to me. i need help. i need help somebody please help me im not mentally safe right now idk what to do. i can't stop crying i can't stop the tears from coming. its annoying. it hurts. alot of stuff hurts right now. why am i in pain? i need help
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midnight migraine because im not sleeping enough. also im equally scared of going to sleep because of a particularly horrible nightmare last night. also im sleeping on a couch. but also. my ryes are so heach..
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i love feeling unsafe around people im suppoed to trust
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