cactus-the-unicorn - Tumblr blog

[cactus-the-unicorn]

Deep realisation. An eye opener.

Instead of trying to understand why my ex ended things with me the way he did, instead of asking myself why I wasn’t enough for him and why he couldn’t see me, I started reflecting on my actions throughout our relationship. How I would tell him that I trust him and I respect him enough to be honest with him. I would tell him when I was not okay but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him why. For a good 3-4 months I kept my health issues from him, I kept the fact that I was pregnant from my sexual assault and had an abortion because I couldn’t bear it. When I finally told him, he was so understanding and comforting. That’s who he is. He hurt for me and was empathetic that I had to go through that. 3 months after that conversation, he ended things and expressed that he doesn’t see a future with me. As harsh as it sounded at the time, I think I get it. I wouldn’t be able to trust or build a future with someone who kept something so heavy and important from me. Although my reasons were valid, we were in a relationship and he had emphasised that he’s big on respect and honesty. I didn’t lie to him, but successfully keeping something that big from him must have blown his mind and probably had him thinking what else could I keep from him.

[cactus-the-unicorn]

Yes, I know today’s your birthday. and I’m going to know it’s your birthday every year for the rest of my life because some things I can’t erase. But that doesn’t mean you still have a place in my heart, because you don’t. And you don’t have a place in my mind either, unless I notice the date and it’s your birthday, or I’m drunk in a bar and that song is playing, or your sister shows up on my newsfeed. So what I’m saying is at this point you’re just muscle memory and that muscle just happens to be my heart.

[cactus-the-unicorn]

This is so humble and compassionate🤍

Hey, you are not an embarrassment for not knowing how to do certain household chores/basic self-care. They do not come naturally to us. A lot of it takes practice! Maybe you had a neglectful guardian. Maybe you had one that was very coddling and never thought to teach you. Maybe you haven't lived in a place where these things were available to you or needed. Doesn't matter. It's okay to not know and far more common than you might realise.

That said, this website provides very simple instructions on how to do everyday tasks such as making your bed, using a washing machine, cooking different foods, washing dishes, taking a shower, etc. All you have to do is use the search bar to find the task you're struggling with, and it'll come up with what you need + other related how-to's:)

If you're having trouble navigating it, let me provide you with some examples:

How to clean dishes by hand

How to make your bed (with visual demonstrations of each step!)

How to fold clothes (with visual demonstrations of each step!)

How to take a shower & dry yourself off (also provides ways to shave beards, armpits, legs and genitals)

How to shave legs, armpits, beards, pubic areas, etc. (a more in-depth guide)

How to mop the floor

How to sweep the floor

How to swallow pills

How to make small talk

How to make eye contact in different situations (or how to avoid it while still looking natural)

It's also perfectly okay if these don't help or aren't appealing to you. Unfortunately, nothing helps everyone.

[cactus-the-unicorn]

[cactus-the-unicorn]

Anyway, I’m in love🥹

For the first time I can say that I’m in love and she’s deeply in love with me.

[cactus-the-unicorn]

“Mami” “mi amor” 💕💕”I love you”

[cactus-the-unicorn]

Did you ever feel like you did not get the chance to break down and be vulnerable in fear of invalidating what I was going through at the time?

[cactus-the-unicorn]

Did you ever feel like I leaned on you too much?

[cactus-the-unicorn]

Changes got me feeling like I’m drowning. But I know it’s just the motions

[cactus-the-unicorn]

did you guys know that Jesus loves you so much i could literally burst into tears at any moment over that fact

[cactus-the-unicorn]

Revelation: I know with men I could get really heated when they were into it and that’s because I wanted them to feel me match their energy, meanwhile I’m not really reaching climax just enjoying the feeling of being edged on and how crazy good I was making them feel. I’m also not the type of girl who gets off on penetration which is what most men rely on. But with her I didn’t have to think about matching her energy because I was too into her and too into what she was doing to me and how I was making her feel. I was comfortable enough to guide her and tell her what I wanted. Guys. Not only was I only on edge, but she gave me an orgasm! and oh my gosh I almost cried because no one has ever made me orgasm. No one besides myself. Her moans when I was edging her on, her moans when I was making her orgasm, the way she was holding and kissing me, the sounds that were coming out of her mouth… Now I know sex with men will never be as satisfying and hot and beautiful and sexy and pleasing as sex with her. She’s so beautiful

[cactus-the-unicorn]

[cactus-the-unicorn]

I think my tumblr knows I’m dating a girl

[cactus-the-unicorn]

My girl, my girl, my girl…

[cactus-the-unicorn]

What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer

What peace we often forfeit

Oh what needless pains we bear

All because we do not carry

Everything to God in prayer

[cactus-the-unicorn]

I can’t let this love just sit on my chest and weigh me down. I can’t just let it go to waste. I’ll love myself and I’ll love her. I’ll love us both. All this love could’ve been for you, but you don’t want it. So I’ll love her.

[cactus-the-unicorn]

How is it that you can hurt me and force me to resent you but most days all I can do is feel the weight of all the love I have for you sit on my chest with nowhere to go?