cali-witxh - Tumblr blog

[cali-witxh]

HelloTumblr! I’m doing discounted Holiday Commissions from now until mid January!

Single, or double character pieces only! Check my #my art tag for examples!

I’ll be doing avatar icons, character emoji stickers (non animated), and full body characters.

Things I will do: Fantasy, anthro, ships, anime, animals, ocs, mild blood and gore.

Things I won’t do: Porn ❌, Robots❌, Complex Armor (Ex; Warhammer) ❌

Prices are as follows: 30$ for one character with a simple background (In a house or room or sitting somewhere outside)

20$ For Full body color character (Extra character is 7$)

10$ For Half Body color character or avatar

7$ For Emoji sticker

[cali-witxh]

one of the more valuable things I’ve learned in life as a survivor of a mentally unstable parent is that it is likely that no one has thought through it as much as you have. 

no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation. 

no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying. 

no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.

no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.  

a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age. 

Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse. 

I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships. 

The best thing I ever did for myself and my relationships was insist upon frank communication and a categorical denial of subtext. For some people this is a moral stance. For survivors of mentally unstable parents this is a requirement of recovery. 

[cali-witxh]

I don’t know who needs to hear this but grief is so much more than just something you experience when someone dies. it’s okay to grief opportunities and time lost. people you used to know. people you used to be. relationships. ways of living. places. your childhood. you can feel grief over so many things and it’s okay and real and seeking help is okay too, you’re not being disrespectful.

[cali-witxh]

Cat sounds compilation.

[cali-witxh]

Note: This isn’t an insult/sassy come back to people to asking valid questions/statements (well maybe a bit sassy lol), none of it’s meant to offend people that are calmly trying to educate themselves to lgbtq+. Questions are always welcome!

[cali-witxh]

[cali-witxh]

weird little brain tweak/reframing that helped me out. i Often find that advice that seemingly helps Everyone Else doesn’t make any sense to me, in ways that are hard to describe, and it can be really frustrating. but when i find a way to explain it to myself that finally seems to break through and make it click, it feels really good

[cali-witxh]

the myth of persephone is about the trauma of the separation of mothers and daughters by marriage and this is the hill i will die on

[cali-witxh]

upset and don’t know why? Appease the Brains

lizard brain

questions: do i have food, water, and safe shelter? 

solutions: drink more water. drink things with electrolytes. make and stick to a food schedule that works for you. clean your room. if you are in an unsafe situation, talk to someone trusted about creating a plan to get out 

toddler brain 

questions: have i had enough rest? am i been getting what i need to be healthy? am i cared for? am i frustrated? 

solutions: make sure you’re getting enough sleep on a schedule that works for you (people naturally sleep better at different times and need different amounts of sleep. if youre young you will need to sleep more than 7 or 8 hours). make sure you have varied nutrition in your diet. make sure your medications and supplements are working for you and take them on schedule. work on developing a support system that meets your needs. take breaks from things if you feel burned out, even if it’s only for a day 

monkey brain 

questions: have i had enrichment in my life? am i stuck in a rut? have i had socialization, entertainment, and creativity? has anything challenged me lately? 

solutions: limit your time on social media. make an effort to be in new environments - even if its another room in your house or backyard. examine what is or isn’t working in your routine. pick up a new hobby (if you’re more physically active, consider a hobby like writing or coding. if you’re more mentally active, consider a hobby like woodworking, bookbinding, or a sport). write stories, make art, and write analyses (if you haven’t tried original work - focus on that for a little while). try new music. try a new food. build something with legos. consume a new type of media even if you’re not sure you’ll like it (like graphic novels, radio plays, or watching ballet). take on a long term project and set aside time to work on it on a schedule (whether its every day, every few days, or specific days each week) 

human brain 

questions: do i feel loved? do i feel understood? am i existentially fulfilled? do i have a sense of purpose? do i have a sense of meaning? am i contributing to the lives of the people i care about and are they doing the same for me in return? 

solutions: reach out to friends and loved ones, and do activities together, like play a game online or walk in the park. talk to safe people about things that upset you, such as a trusted friend or a therapist, and find steps to improve your mental health. interrogate whether your religious beliefs are working for you, and if they are, make an effort to practice your faith, whether that is attending services (including digitally if they have them), reading and discussing your religious texts, or following holidays. read self help books or blogs from trusted professionals. read about philosophy and interrogate your own understanding of things. learn how to communicate your needs, thoughts, and desires to people who will listen. be active in your community (whether in community service, activism, or getting involved in local politics). adopt a rescue animal. give money to causes you care about. make an effort to learn about points of view and lived experiences that are different than your own. challenge assumptions about how you are expected to live your life and decide whether you want those things or not. express love for the people you care about - through kind words, good acts, crafts, or otherwise. if there are steps in your life you have been afraid of taking, make a plan to take them 

if you fulfill higher needs before lower needs, you will still feel bad. if you feel bad and don’t know why, start lower and work your way up. basic needs must be met before moving on healthily 

[cali-witxh]

The Pond Bishop has come to sing you hymns of the Water Lily art by @deheez

[cali-witxh]

Reminder that if you get that "joy of satan" copypasta that's been going around lately in your inbox, that's a literal honest to G-d not joking in the slightest Nazi neo-pagan group. Here is a Wikipedia link for those curious about what I'm on about here.

That specific copypasta makes them look progressive but I trust y'all to be the smartest cookies in the whole fuckin' pantry and not publish the ask, since it has a direct link to their fucked up website and even dunking on them or publishing with a warning might make your followers look it up to see what's up.

Don't increase their traffic, delete it, and if you really want to warn your followers do what I'm doing right the fuck now and simply make your own post with an info link that isn't a direct conveyor belt leading straight into their own propaganda machine.

And for the love of G-d always do your research when receiving anonymous recommendations for organizations or websites. I don't know how I'm supposed to end this post, peace and love or whatever.

[cali-witxh]

holy fucking crap. Look at this image

[cali-witxh]

Skip Google for Research

As Google has worked to overtake the internet, its search algorithm has not just gotten worse.  It has been designed to prioritize advertisers and popular pages often times excluding pages and content that better matches your search terms 

As a writer in need of information for my stories, I find this unacceptable.  As a proponent of availability of information so the populace can actually educate itself, it is unforgivable.

Below is a concise list of useful research sites compiled by Edward Clark over on Facebook. I was familiar with some, but not all of these.

⁂

Google is so powerful that it “hides” other search systems from us. We just don’t know the existence of most of them. Meanwhile, there are still a huge number of excellent searchers in the world who specialize in books, science, other smart information. Keep a list of sites you never heard of.

www.refseek.com - Academic Resource Search. More than a billion sources: encyclopedia, monographies, magazines.

www.worldcat.org - a search for the contents of 20 thousand worldwide libraries. Find out where lies the nearest rare book you need.

https://link.springer.com - access to more than 10 million scientific documents: books, articles, research protocols.

www.bioline.org.br is a library of scientific bioscience journals published in developing countries.

http://repec.org - volunteers from 102 countries have collected almost 4 million publications on economics and related science.

www.science.gov is an American state search engine on 2200+ scientific sites. More than 200 million articles are indexed.

www.pdfdrive.com is the largest website for free download of books in PDF format. Claiming over 225 million names.

www.base-search.net is one of the most powerful researches on academic studies texts. More than 100 million scientific documents, 70% of them are free

[cali-witxh]

I am in tears over Gastrodon wiggling it’s little nubs with joy 🥲 I love this slug so much

[cali-witxh]

This first thing I thought when I woke up from surgery was I am so hungry and I need ramen right now! but the second thing I thought was Oh my god, I'm safe.

I was safe.

I thought about having kids someday, but the thought was always divorced from the concept of having to grow them in my body. Whenever I thought about it, I would either start screaming or my mind would shut down. My worst nightmares featured discovering I was pregnant, and realizing I would have to keep it, and go through childbirth. I was terrified.

I got the surgery, and realized I was safe, and I never had those nightmares ever again. It was like finding out I was bulletproof.

Later, I looked at the broken condom, and I didn't see my life flash before my eyes. I didn't see my hopes and dreams turn to ash as I pivoted all my energy into a child I didn't want. I didn't see a possibility of starvation or homelessness because my already modest income went to a child I couldn't afford. I didn't see my disabled body becoming further disabled, or killed, by a pregnancy that I didn't want.

Read more between the pages commentary: https://www.patreon.com/posts/68216364 (free post, no paywall)

[cali-witxh]

May mother Hera protect our children

May mother Gaia protect our children

May mother Leto protect our children

May mother Aphrodite protect our children

May mother Nyx protect our children

May mother Demeter protect our children

May lady Hestia protect our children

May lady Hekate protect our children

May lady Artemis protect our children

May lord Apollo protect our children

May lord Apollo protect our children

May lady Hebe protect our children

May lord Ares protect our children

May Chaos protect our children

May father Zeus protect our children

May the gods keep children of gay and polyamorous families safe

May the gods keep children of interracial families safe

May the gods keep children of immigrant families safe

May the gods keep abused and neglected children safe

May the gods keep all LGBTQIA+ children safe

May the gods keep all BIPOC children safe

May the gods protect our rights during these times, our rights to our bodies and to exist as we do. Do love. To be. Khaîre to the old gods, khaîre.