calliopetrichor - Tumblr blog

[calliopetrichor]

sexual knifeplay is indicative of weak character. I could never get aroused from being stabbed because that would mean that I failed to parry it

[calliopetrichor]

rip mabel pines you would’ve loved neopronouns

[calliopetrichor]

Murph characters when anyone else DMs: beleaguered guy with a tough past he's trying to atone for, desperately trying to keep the party on-plot

Murph characters when Caldwell Tanner DMs: the most cartoonish and uncooperative motherfucker you have ever seen

[calliopetrichor]

must representation be “good”? is it not enough to watch two men destroy each other's lives

[calliopetrichor]

gambling with angels is easy. they can't lie but they have addictive personalities; it's easy to clean them out then make them divulge secrets about the business of heaven to call your bets. my dad used to say "hey, watch this" and summon angels to play poker with him with a sort of bone flute he inherited from his grandpa, and they'd be holding horseshit and still want to call him. i'm talking "raise on a two pair" level bad at it, but they couldn't stop trying to win. my dad taught me all the secret names of God before i was out of grade school and i would use them to curse my enemies so they came down with leprosy. you can cure leprosy these days but it still sucks, especially for a child. but they had it coming for pissing me off

[calliopetrichor]

party roles

[calliopetrichor]

medieval peasant: I see... so, it is the case that there are many paintings within this magical book? it is not so strange after all.

me, trying to show him tumblr to scare him: I was kind of hoping this would be a bit more confusing to you

peasant, suddenly pointing at the screen: hark! cynocephali

[calliopetrichor]

being a hater is good and fun and comes free with being a lover but it's also good to practice being an idgafer. sometimes things are just meant to bait you and/or not worth blowing up your whole day over. don't forget that.

[calliopetrichor]

i feel bad for bigender people, the commute between Jupiter and college has got to be rough

[calliopetrichor]

humans are a subspecies of elf known for dying really quickly and being stressed the whole time

[calliopetrichor]

[calliopetrichor]

romanticizing your life is such a powerful tool and it’s a shame that it’s mostly used by people on tiktok to justify the purchase of expensive breakfast smoothies when there are few better ways to force oneself through unpleasant shit than imagining a cinematic backstory for your extremely quotidian suffering

[calliopetrichor]

generally i think the whole Only Good X jokes are trite and kind of annoying but the image of sam reich twirling a little mustache like a railroad baron did amuse me

[calliopetrichor]

Sam Reich is the only good CEO because he gets all his evil impulses out by being a dastardly mustache-twirling villain on his little game show, instead of getting into union busting or something

[calliopetrichor]

he’s got that previously neglected shelter dog rizz. he looks like he wants to quietly sit next to you on the couch while you watch TV

[calliopetrichor]

fig faeth character of all time. she's seventeen. she's the queen of hell. she has 2 heterosexual fathers. she's engaged in a campaign of psychological terror against a guy who is annoying. she has performed a successful surgery with no medical degree. she killed a god with shrimp. she can skateboard. she rebels against her mom constantly but also is her mom. her girlfriend is a bird. she's straight-edge except for drugs. she's a famous rockstar. she has 3 majors. she writes her friends kind notes but lies about who they're from. her bed is under a piano. she's her own warlock patron. and, of course, she's played by emily axford.

[calliopetrichor]

i care so much about fictional morality and ethics but not in a lame ass "is this character/ship problematic" way. i'm cringe for other reasons.