carolliney - Tumblr blog

[carolliney]

Ughhhhhhhhh.

I feel tired and rested enough at the same time. I skip classes too much. I don't do homework. I just don't feel like it lol. Anyway so recently I tried to find myself an internet friend. Failed. As always. Well maybe internet friends just isn't my thing. Maybe because I have enough good friends in real life. They always by my side and ready to help whenever I need it. I couldn't ask for better friends in my life. Maybe it's just a little hint for me from the universe that I should consentirait more on my real life rather than my internet life. Well I agree with you, universe. Good job.

[carolliney]

Well... happy birthday to me.

[carolliney]

[carolliney]

So today my friend told me that she loves me like really loves me two freakin times. And now I'm thinking about leaving my trash husband and date her instead. Mood.

[carolliney]

Phew. I did it. Yes I passed all that crap and now I'm free. FINALLY! Gosh.

Now it's time for me to study and read books and be productive and do funny shit n stuff. Yep.

[carolliney]

Ughhhh i hate being lazy, but it's who i am at the end of the day. A lazy piece of trash really. How come a person can be this lazy? I don't know. It comes naturally.

But why am i like this? I really need to stop.

I hate procrastinating but i can't stop. Literally. I need to study now but insted i write this post. Hmm good.

[carolliney]

My mind is filled with anxiety right now. I'm scared of what is coming. I hope everything will turn up well coz it's all that I need now. I need to work harder.

[carolliney]

I want to believe that something that is yet to come is a good one, a very very good one. I want to believe that everything will end up well, no, even perfect. Why not? I think i deserve it. To be finally happy.

Honesty, i am really tired of this feeling that i've been feeling for maybe the last 7 years of almost constant stress. Being stressed out most of the times wears you out indeed. And it's so unhealthy. Maybe i should really take care of my mental health tho. The last two years were especially exhausting to the point where i was almost suicidal. Thank God i was strong enough not to end it all in that horrible way. And thanks to that one little cute but so important song that also had its rather big impact on keeping me alive. I always keep the lyrics of that song in my head and forever in my heart.

What I'm trying to say here is that all of us deserve a good wind of change in our lives. We all here for a reason or even reasons.

So let's take pride of what is sure to die.

[carolliney]

Sick and tired.

I'm sick and tired of all this shit. I can't anymore. I can't bear it when people don't seem to hear me, listen to me. It feels like I'm talking to a wall. I'm tired of these tears. And again and again i'm forsed to do what i'd hate to do. Why everything has to be so complicated. Just why people can't listen to like maybe once? At least once. All i want is just to be at peace with myself and people around me. Is that too much to ask?

[carolliney]

Damn.

Summer is coming to an end and i still have so much shit to do. Ughh. It's exhausting.

[carolliney]

I can't forget

I still can't forget the ones i used to love and i still kinda do love them but they are not here for me anymore. They left me behind. They moved on but i can't. I just can't. I'm too weak for that and i hate it. I keep this people in mind. Always. But do they think about me as much as i think of them. I don't think so. Sad how people can just throw you out of their world out of the blue without any explanation after years of friendship. Well maybe i was a bad friend.

[carolliney]

💫

To all my muslim brothers and sisters, may your Ramadan month be filled with much love and blessings. Ramadan mubarak ✨

[carolliney]

Twilight

Lately I feel strong nostalgia. It all began when I all of the sudden remembered the Twilight Saga, I remembered my 2008 and it made me feel so warm and cozy. I remembered myself being so reckless back then and I remembered my friends, the air I inhaled. I really want to go back sometimes. I think I'll just re-watch this vampire movies with my babies Bella and Edward. I'll probably cry too.

[carolliney]

Healing

It seems like I locked my depression in a pantry and carry the key in my nearest pocket. I can let it out any moment but I don't want to, I try not to. It's so dark there and cold. I can hear voices from there calling me names, begging me to come back. From time to time I come close to it and hear them louder than before, those whispers. I pray to God I'll have enough strength not to let those demons destroy me again.

[carolliney]

Funny dream

I had such a weird dream yesterday, like I saw my ex best friend pregnant and she looked like Saoirse Ronan (I hope I spelled her name right) with a haircut like Natalie Portman in Leon and she looked really pretty. Apparently she got laid with some random dude lol who vanished right after and she was left pregnant and all alone and her mother didn't support her aaaand yeah. I told her that she should probably get an abortion since she was just 20 and all alone with no job and she was hesitating all the way. Well, I hope she's not that dumb and didn't actually get pregnant and if you see this hi.

[carolliney]

OMG thank you

can we stop romanticising pushing ourselves to the limit cause I want to stop feeling like I have to not sleep and not eat to be truly productive. pls and thank u

[carolliney]

IN RUSSIA WE SAY ROCK SCISSORS PAPER 🌑✂📝

i cant believe americans on tv really say rock paper scissors like???? its paper scissors rock omg do u irl americans actually say rock paper scissors????