carpl-the-carp-overlord-blog

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BECOME A FOLLOWER OF MY MAGNIFICENT BLOG FOR MORE CARP. AND OCRAYSIONALLY FISH PUNNERY.

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THE ASK BOX IS ACCESSABUBBLE

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CARP COUNSEL IS NOW IN SESSION

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YOu HAVE A VERY SHORT LIFE SPAN. MY SPECIES LIVES FOR BILLIONS OF YEARS. uNTIL THEY PROCREATE. THEN THEY DIE. SOLuTION? DON'T PROCREATE! HA! I WIN. MY SPECIES IS THE BEST. YOu BuT A FISH. I AM A SKuLL SNAKE ANGEL THING. THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S ME. CALIBORN! IT WAS ME THE WHOLE TIME! MuAHAHAHAHA!

SORRY, BUT THAT NAME IS MEANINGLESS TO ME. YOUR BRAGGING IS ALSO MEANINGLESS TO ME. SO YOU LIVE LONGER. YOU ALSO HAVE NOT BEEN BORN YET, AND I NEED NOT LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO MEET YOU, MAKING ANY THREATS NULL AND VOID. GOOD DAY.

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BuT ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA. THE OCEANS DISAPPEARED ABOuT 1500 YEARS AGO. MY TIME. WHEN THE EARTH WAS MOVED TO A LARGER STAR.

I GROW TIRED OF YOUR ATTEMPTS TO AGITATE ME. ASSUMING THIS EVEN DOES HAPPEN, IT IS WELL BEYOND MY LIFE-TIME, AND I WILL NAUT BE AROUND TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, SO I WILL CONTINUE GOVERNING THIS KINGDOM HEARTILY.

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TROUTLY BEAUTIFUL

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ONLY ABOuT 1000-2000 YEARS.

OH, IN THAT CASE, I SHELL NOT WORRY MUCH. I WILL MAKE SURE MY KINGDOM THRIVES AS LONG AS I CAN. I SHRIMPLY CANNOT WORRY ABOUT SUCH FAR AWAY EVENTS.

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NO. I AM NOT COLONAL SANDROID. WHAT EVEN IS THAT? BuT YOu ARE RIGHT. I AM INDEED FROM THE FuTuRE. A FuTuRE IN WHICH OCEANS TO NOT EXIST. BECAuSE OF THE LAND DWELLERS.

HOW FAR IN THE FUTURE? I MUST KNOW HOW MUCH THIS SHOULD ENRAGE ME. DONT GIVE ME THIS "SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE" CARP

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IT'S ME AGAIN. THE GuY WHO BOSSES HuMANS AROuND. YOu KNOW. I HAD YOu ALL WRONG. WE DON'T INFRINGE ON EACH OTHER'S TERRITORY. AND YOu DON'T SEEM LIKE AN ASSHOLE. MAYBE WE SHOuLD WORK TOGETHER. YOu RuLE THE SEAS. AND I RuLE THE LAND. AND TOGETHER. WE WILL CONQuER ALL OF THE GALAXY!

HMM, I HAVE A FEELING WE ARE COMMUNICATING FROM DIFFERENT TIMES, THOUGH I AM NOT QUITE FAMILIAR WITH MOST TEMPOOLAL MECHANICS. REGARDLESS OF MY FAMILIARITY WITH THE TIDE OF TIME, I DOUBT YOU ARE THE ESTEEMED COLONEL SANDROID. 

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Does the C.A.R.P have any allies, or are you an independent nation?

AN EXCELLENT QUESTION. WHALE WE DO HAVE A PEACE TREATY WITH THE U.S.K., I AM NOT SURE IF THAT TECHNICALLY QUALIFIES AN AN ALLIANCE. ON THE OTHER HAND, I AM WELL ACQUAINTED WITH THE CEPHALOSQUAD AND THE LEAGUE OF AQUATIC ARTHROPODS. AS FOR THE MAMMALS, WE ARE ON FRONDLY TERMS, BUT THEY ARE OUTSIDE MY JURISDICTION, AND GENERALLY DISTRUSTED BY THE PUBLIC.

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HEY. WHO THE FuCK SAID YOu COuLD BOSS HuMANS AROuND. THAT IS MY JOB. HEHE. I AM ASKING THIS ANONYMOuSLY. YOu WILL NEVER FIND OuT MY TRuE IDENTITY!

WHY HELLO THERE YOUNG UNKNOWN FELLOW. (I ASSUME YOU ARE YOUNG BY YOUR SILLY LAUGHTER, THOUGH I MAY BE WRONG) I BELIEVE A MIS-COD-CEPTION MAY HAVE OCCURRED. I DO NOT GIVE ORDERS TO THE HUMANS, THEY ARE GOVERNED BY AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT FIGURE OF AUTHORITY. AT ONE POINT, I DID HAVE CHILDISH URGES FOR RULE OVER THE LAND, BUT UPON ARRIVAL I FOUND THAT MANY OF MY SOLDIERS ARE UNFIT FOR LAND MOVEMENT.

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Mister Carpl, how does government work in the "C.A.R.P"?

THINGS HAVE BEEN RATHER BUSY AS OF LATE, BUT THE ISSUES IN THE E-CRAW-NOMY SEEM TO BE LEVELING OUT. BRIGHT TIMES ARE AHEAD, AS WELL AS MANY UN-INTERRUPTED HOURS TO DEVOTE TO THIS BLOG.

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WITH MY GLORIOUS REAPPEARANCE, I WISH TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT I WILL BE OPEN TO ANY AND ALL CRAW-STIONS

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OH MY... THIS IS TRUE BEAUTY

THIS FITS WHAT I NEEDED QUITE SWIMMINGLY

you know what i think you need

a shark wearing a maids outfit

you’re welcome

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reblog if you are in the Integrated Chinese Textbook fandom

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Fish in the boat & man overboard

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LOOK AT THIS, I AM SO PROUD TO HAVE CITIZENS WHO ATTEMPT DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS WITH THE LAND PEOPLE. IF THIS KEEPS UP, I MAY JUST BUY THE LAND INSTEAD OF RELYING ON MILITARY HAKEOVER