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chaoticwizarddreamer · 5 months ago

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Hyuna has complicated feelings for Luka that find themselves intermingling love and hatred, I love that that part of her character was expanded on through this comic. It is a whole other level of anger for her to throw herself away for the sake of her beliefs, for the sake of her justice, for all those years she spent in pain and having to persevere despite that because of Luka, but the way those feelings co-exist is puzzling for her, too, because of all of these remaining sentiments she still has for Luka, the betrayal HyunA felt knowing she loved someone she resented so much.

And knowing that he loved her back, so much so he loved her more than himself. No matter what, through that connection, HyunA will always be attached to Luka, and Luka will never stop loving her. HyunA resented seeing herself on those posters, knowing that Luka would be overjoyed that through them, it confirmed to him she was still alive and their bond still existed. While HyunA spent so long trying to avoid it all. She’s still constantly reminded of Luka, she lives with the burden of holding Luka's devotion in her palm, the guilt she has because she still loves him so much she couldn't crush it right then and there.

HyunA is a character haunted by guilt. On the inside, she has a heart more unsure and complex than the confidence she exudes on the outside. Hyunwoo's death haunted her. She didn't want to acknowledge what happened to him, the nature of his death was pure torture on her conscience. The grief and the guilt she had over ignoring reality and still loving the man who killed the person she loved most made HyunA angry at herself. She couldn't forgive herself for betraying her brother; by extension, she could never forgive Luka.

HyunA resented him for all of it. For running back to her and seeking her out after what he did, The way Luka was always her weak spot no matter what he did because her attachment to him was so strong. She could never forget her innocent perception of that little boy she played with and remembered following her around the garden. After all, the opposite of love and hate is just apathy, HyunA never stopped caring about Luka, so she couldn't move on or force herself to be apathetic towards her feelings for him.

She was once told to forgive herself by the past rebellion leader, but she couldn't as long as she was still held back by the past. HyunA lived in anger and resentment toward Luka for years. To Luka, who never truly understood the gravity of what he did to her, or what she had to do, and the coping mechanisms she resorted to so she could deal with the emotional turmoil he left her in. To Luka, who loved her so much, leaving him would be her retribution, her ultimate revenge. Giving him back the same burden he left her with so that he would confront a reality crueler than death: A life without her. Without any possible way to deny it. The overwhelming sensation of grief and suffering he would feel would be her way of avenging her dead brother and that devastated child in her.

But there are many layers to HyunA's feelings, so that's not truly it. There was still a part of her that laid down her life for Luka because she couldn't see him die, she left him with those last words because she wanted him to do something with what she said for himself in her absence.

It is compassionate of HyunA to know and acknowledge the suffering Luka went through all his life. But she knows Luka hasn't experienced losing someone he cared deeply about like this until now. Before, he could at least confirm HyunA’s existence in their time apart. But what can he do now?

Luka is a person so alienated from his humanity. For instance, from a young age, he was trained to "overcome" the most natural human instinct, emotions. His purpose was for the stage, so the aliens made him into something that ultimately functioned how they wanted him to. He’s emotionally stunted and was made into a tool the aliens could control and exploit his whole life. Of course, it’s not like Luka was aimless; he tried to understand by himself. He wanted a connection with HyunA, he wanted to understand but didn't know how to express himself properly in his efforts he caused her so much hurt and discomfort in the aftermath. Ultimately, he can’t truly comprehend human emotions until he’s lived them. A book can’t replicate that.

He hasn't experienced HyunA’s struggle, that tunnel of guilt she's still trying to find her way out of so that she can keep growing up, moving on, and learning how to keep living. He doesn't understand how she feels. It shows in his obliviousness to her suffering in Wiege, the blunt dismissal of her efforts at moving on because he thinks she's just foolishly running away.

So, in a selfish and selfless final act, she saves Luka. Before, I thought HyunA didn't let anger guide her, but this does change that. She is still a person who selflessly prioritizes what she cares about first before herself even now, but being a person who’s not always righteously led by “what's right” humanizes her so much in this scenario. It shows how much her trauma affected her and how it can bring out the most visceral of emotions in people. Despite all those years she spent growing up, she will never escape herself.

Her hatred is so deep-seated and personal. Saving Luka was impulsive of her, she didn’t plan it beforehand, but as aforementioned, she’s been living with this anger for years. Seeing that look on his face, knowing what he was going to do, and knowing what was going to happen, she just moved. The way he hurt HyunA changed her in a way he'd never had a chance to understand before, she wanted him to experience all of it for once. All of the same pain and the struggles she had to live with. She wanted to leave him in the same lost and confused state he left her in.

But at the same time, her love still co-exists with this anger, her love was so great despite that she died because she also wanted him to live and do what she did, find his own way through that pain and survive it without her. All the while finally connecting with a part of himself that had been suppressed for a long time. Exposing him to human vulnerability was her way of getting revenge and giving him the kick he needed to take the opportunity she left for him. Whether he will or won't, wants to or not, or he will die the same boy he was born as. And that’s a guarantee based on what he does next.

Luka analyzes people like objects and puzzles, not as actual humans. So HyunA left him with a lesson to learn. A puzzle so complex, emotional, and undeniably human that he can’t possibly solve it without gaining back what was taken from him, his humanity. HyunA did this so that he would be forced to re-evaluate everything he thought he ever knew. He will never truly understand HyunA's words, her motivations, her suffering, or her death without gaining a human perspective.

HyunA had to do the same thing before. Luka was a puzzle she solved years ago. She describes him best in those few sentences because she knows him best. She resents him so much for what he's done to her, but she can still see Luka for who he is. She can't help but recognize him as a person she couldn't help but pity, a person she couldn't help but love despite it all. She has a big heart that is inevitably unable to close itself off from people she cares about, no matter how in the right she would’ve been for completely hating Luka. Her love for him is genuine as much as it is twisted and complicated

HyunA's revenge is complex and contradictory. It is exploitative, brutal, and selfish, a cruel way of teaching Luka how it feels to be in her position. But in a twisted way, it is loving. She wanted Luka to suffer in the way he deserved. At the same time, she genuinely wanted him to grow and change, to find his own answer just like she had to. This is the only way he would ever do that.

I adore this direction Vivinos took with her character, I figured the idea I had of her before aligned just as well with her character as this, but seeing her mixed feelings for Luka acknowledged this way feels more considerate of her character and her feelings. I wanted HyunA to think about herself more and to act more cruelly, I wanted more intention from her. She is still the selfless and endlessly caring person she was before, but I'm glad she got to act on her anger and find satisfaction to some extent by making Luka suffer, and through this comic, she got to come to terms with her feelings and the complexities of her situation in a way she'd been avoiding before

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