charbroussard - Tumblr blog

[charbroussard]

madness is private

Margaret Atwood, from ‘Surfacing’ (via derangedrhythms)

[charbroussard]

emmettxclermont​:

Never once had it ever occurred to Emmett that they might be able to be in a room alone together and actually get along for once, let alone be getting drunk and making each other laugh. Laugh….he couldn’t get enough of her laugh. Emmett wanted the sound of it to play on a loop in his brain. He knew they were stealing shy glances at each other, he could feel her eyes on him while he was drinking from the bottle. And when she was drinking from the bottle, he would do the same. Admiring the way her curls framed her face and how she looked when she was smiling. Emmett had no mental energy to think twice about any of these thoughts and so, he didn’t try to fight them. Yet, they were still intense in nature and so ….maybe another shot? Emmett raised the bottle to his lips again, the liquid rushing into his mouth a little too fast this time, but before it could reach his shirt or his pants, her finger quickly swiped along his bottom lip, collecting the droplets of alcohol. He happened to turn his attention to her the moment she put that same finger up to her own lips. His jaw fell slack. Everything stopped. Time didn’t move. No sounds were made. Emmett only heard the words she said next and then there was silence. His heart was racing. The tiniest of smirks played at his lips before he couldn’t fight it off any longer. “I bet it tastes even sweeter from yours.” his words hung in the air for a moment, their eyes locked. Emmett could only faintly hear the ticking of a clock. “Would you mind if I try for myself?” he asks, lowering his voice a bit. He waits for her to nod before Emmett puts his hand against her cheek. The softness of the touch feels foreign, so he is a bit hesitant. But only for a second. His thumb traces her cheekbone absentmindedly. His eyes flicker to her lips and then, before his brain had time to catch up, they were kissing  - soft, slow, gentle. He gets lost in the feeling of her lips against his. Intoxicated. 

She knew what was coming yet something about his question surprises her. Perhaps it was the confirmation that they both wanted each other in the same way, or maybe it was the tender undertone of his voice. In either case it makes her heart sink to her stomach. She nods once slowly and then twice quickly at his offer, words not coming easy to her anymore. In a blink his lips tessellate with hers. The feeling was more exhilarating than any buzz the whiskey could’ve given her, but she thanks Dom in her head for it anyway. His hand sends a shiver down her spine. It leaves a trail of fire wherever it went, burning the skin on her flushed cheeks by grace of his soft fingers. She is so thankful for the safety of the night that does not completely allow him to see her. If he knew what a mess she’d become by his doing, she doesn’t know if she’d ever be able to face him. But in the moonlight they are equals. They are two bodies with the same goal. Part of her thinks that she could stay in this moment forever, and she tries her hardest to savor each passing second so that later, if she chose to, she could replay it in her head. She relishes in the slow, steady rhythm they create together. It’s tender, but there’s something vibrating underneath that is growing harder to ignore. Because the other part of Charlotte was impatient, needy. She wanted more than slow and soft. She and Emmett could be that, but at their cores, written in the fibers of their atoms, they were passionate people. That energy rests underneath her skin, and she knows it’s the same for Emmett. She can feel the hint of it on him like a shock of static where their bodies connect. Slinging her hand around the nape of his neck, she gently pulls him closer to her to deepen the kiss - like the space left between them was an enemy to her. She knows she’s done the right thing when Emmett responds well to it, matching her fervor. It is perfect. Yet, even still there is a battle for dominance, stubborn tongues wanting more than the other will give. Tillie fights back a grin. Maybe there would always be an unwritten clash between them. Maybe it was what they needed. She was the first to pull back, whiskey soaked lips hanging in a lazy smile. She was sure Emmett would be able to hear how loud her heart was beating had the sound not been drowned out by the faint music coming from Baker Hall. Her voice is barely above a whisper when she says one simple word; “Charlotte”.

[charbroussard]

emmettxclermont​:

For once, Emmett was not seeing her as a threat. For once, he felt like they were seeing each other as people and not competition. He sensed no sharpness in her voice and her eyes were bright and admittedly, beautiful - looking right at him. Right through him. Emmett had always been captivated by her, whether he wanted to admit it or not. Even through all of the arguing and the tension, he felt inclined to know her. To really know her. That feeling was ever so present in the current moment and the wink she gave him caused his cheeks to flush. He smiled warmly in return, cracking the seal on the bottle. Emmett took a pull off of it, wincing slightly at the taste before passing it to her. Soon enough, they were both a few shots deep, sitting on the floor behind Dom’s desk, basically shoulder to shoulder

As more time passes with Emmett by her side, there is nothing she feels other than content. The two were actually getting along well, and were exchanging jokes like an old friend would to another. It was nice to feel so at ease with someone she normally wouldn’t give the time of day. She could honestly say that she may have been wrong about him - Maybe. Sitting on the floor behind Dom’s desk, the cool floors feeling nice against her legs now warm as a result of the alcohol. It was an odd quirk that she’d grown accustomed to when she drank. But tonight something about it feels weird. Her entire body is warm, as though it on is eager for something out of her control. She ignores this, however, distracting herself with their conversation that they share in the privacy of the dark office. The strip of moonlight that shines in from the window illuminates their faces just right, and she gives herself a moment in-between laughter to really look at him. She takes in his straight nose that curved upwards in the most charming way, the mole just above his upper lip, and the intensity of his blue-green eyes. He was handsome, but anyone could see that. Hell, she’d seen it when they first met, but didn’t allow herself to think much on it. But now she does. And the smile that inches its way across her face then is the warmest and most sincere she could give him. She does it happily. She watches as he takes another swig of the bottle. Drops of whiskey make small beads along his bottom lip, and they too catch the moonlight. Tillie doesn’t fight the urge to lift her thumb and gently brush it along his lip to collect the excess. She also doesn’t fight the urge to put that same thumb against her own lips so that she could swipe her tongue across and get a taste. Despite how taken she is by her own actions, she doesn’t show it. She only grins at his reaction, head falling to a slight tilt. “It tastes sweeter from your lips. I wonder why that is.”

[charbroussard]

acaciabuchanan​:

There was this sense Acacia got to always go somewhere and she usually chalked it down to what her parents and friends deemed her impulsive nature, but she was always there when a friend needed her. Sometimes it was off for some reason or another, but most of the time, Acacia was spot on even when she didn’t realize it. “I’ll always be there if you need me,” Acacia reassured after scrunching up her nose, “but I will not endure the nun’s wrath in your place. I’m not a martyr.”

Acacia had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. She could hear the inevitable change in tone that signaled Tillie’s spiel, as the older girl has heard it many times and completely agrees with every word. “I know, I know,” she was quick to say, in hopes to not get the drunk rendition of it, “but I didn’t do it for any male, I did it for me. Suffocating yes, but I don’t hate the confidence boost. Isn’t the root of it all to just be unashamedly female and do things for yourself, as a female, and not for or because of men?” 

“I’d never ask that of you, Jeanne d'Arc.” She’s laughing, but her words are quite sincere. She would never allow someone else to face a punishment owed to her. She’d never ask to be saved. Now clearly was a poor example of that, but under normal circumstances Tillie would be able to pull herself together all on her own. She nods on as she listens to Acacia’s rebuttal. Though she’s right and agrees with her, she wouldn’t be herself if she didn’t debate it - at least a bit. “Obviously,” she says, like she’d thought of the point herself. “But they were made by men for men. And they’ve completely changed our perception of what a natural body looks like.” A wave of warmth rushes over her, and she realizes that she’s too tipsy to argue further. She shrugs instead. “Anyway, you do look great in yours.” She says with a smile, eyes flickering to the top of the girl’s dress and an idea pops into her head then that her mind is too hazy to ignore. Hands lifting up to Acacia’s chest, she gently holds her bust in her hands. Tillie hums, a lazy smile growing on her face as a result of the alcohol.

[charbroussard]

emmettxclermont​:

With the aid of the wine in his blood, the part of Emmett that was usually  resistant towards her was weakened. The last thing that he wanted to do was debate or engage in academic conversation with her in this moment. He didn’t want to do the work to hide behind the walls tonight, which is exactly how he knew that he had gotten a bit too drunk, but why bother stopping now? He was actually feeling quite good and found that her company was comforting to him in the darkness. Knowing she was there did not make him feel tense in the ways it normally would have and she must have felt the same way. otherwise she would have stayed at the dance. When she speaks up, the soft cadence of her voice is of some surprise to him. Emmett wasn’t used to such a gentle tone, but he softened with it as well. “Well, it would just so happen that Dom always keeps a bottle of scotch in his office. I was in there earlier today, a bit early for our meeting. I saw it tucked behind a shelf.” the two of them arrived at their professors door, which was left ajar. Emmett knew it would be, it always was. He pushes it open and advances into the room, finding the bottle of scotch with ease. “and it’s full.”

Tillie grins upon reaching Dom’s office. Of course her weird professor would have a bottle of Whiskey in his office for no apparent reason. Of course he hadn’t hidden it well enough for someone not to find. She doesn’t feel any qualms about opening it and drinking some. Maybe in the morning she’d come to regret it, but she can’t think that far ahead. Right now the whiskey was calling to her, and she’s dying for the taste of it. “It seems as though you were right - for once.” She tells him with a quick wink. “I suppose that means you should do the honors.”

[charbroussard]

emmettxclermont​:

As Emmett started walking away, he had already acknowledged the possibility that she might not want to tag along and he wasn’t exactly sure why he wanted her to, but he knew when he offered, that there was a chance she’d reject him. Still, though, it had been worth it to try. And fucking terrifying. Emmett walked further down the hallway. The only illumination was the moonlight coming in through the windows. And then his footsteps were joined by the sound of another’s. Emmett was in shock. She actually decided to come with? He peeks over his shoulder, only catching brief glimpses of her in the available lighting, but he smiles to himself as he turns his face forward again. “If it’s not there, I’ll replace whatever I drink from this flask.” Emmett said as he took a small swig from it. He handed it back to her, their hands brushing against each other in the dark, sending him all the way back to the first day of class. Maybe, though, just maybe, both of their fingers lingered a second longer than they should have.

Tillie catches his smile, white teeth reflecting the glimmer of the moon. She couldn’t say why it made her heartbeat quicken, but she begs her brain to stop whatever it was doing. But of course, her body doesn’t listen. And when she reaches for the now empty container, her fingers brush against hers and she almost drops the damned thing on the ground.“Fine -” she hardly whispers, voice caught in the base of her throat. She turns away from him quickly to put the flask in her purse, thankful that he can’t see her ruddy cheeks in the darkness. ‘I just the rum, it’s just the rum, it’s just the rum’ She tells herself on a loop, but it feels more like a plead. When she’s calm again, she feels brave enough to face him. “May I at least know where this place is?” She asks, though the more she looks around, the more familiar the path seemed.

[charbroussard]

acaciabuchanan​:

Acacia was already on her way to take the thing out of her dress when Tillie asked, already going to a decent swig. “You know, I thought I was done playing mom in high school when my friends would pull this, but apparently the only difference between public high school and a private religious college is repression, but that shouldn’t be a surprise.” The flask was already pretty light in her hands, which answered some questions of why Tillie didn’t seem like her normal composed self, however, that was like the rest of the student body at the moment so that really wasn’t a problem. She did put the thing straight into Tillie’s purse, not having another place to hold it on her person that wasn’t the top of her dress. “That was the most boob I’ve ever had in my life and there’s even a Wonderbra under here trying to help me out, but I can’t hide it for you so don’t drop it again.”

Tillie’s mouth locks in a grin. “Or maybe,” she starts, gently poking the other girl’s nose. “You’re just too good at it. And the universe knew we needed you. Well, me, anyway. I needed you. Need.” She pauses for a moment as to collect her thoughts. An exhausted sigh escapes her parted lips. She was too tired to elaborate. Acacia would just have to understand what she meant and be okay with it. She smiles when the girl returns her flask back to her, but it disappears just as quickly as it came. A frown now plaguing her face, she clicks her tongue twice.“A Wonderbra? Acacia.” Her spiel was incoming and inevitable. Even in her tipsy state she was prepared to give it. “We both know those are tools for the patriarchy. You don’t need one.” She stops her tangent then, thinking about how the events of the evening had previously unfolded. She hums quietly. “But I am quite glad it saved me tonight, regardless. Well, it and you.”

[charbroussard]

emmettxclermont​:

Her half-hearted scoff did not phase him as it normally would, nor did the roll of her eyes or even the words that followed. Emmett was too drunk off of expensive red wine to care about acting a certain type of way or having to be a certain type of person depending on who he was around. He knew he was supposed to say something snarky back. That was what was expected of him after all, and any other moment, he would have played his part. But, right now, he couldn’t wipe the tiny smile off of his face even if he wanted to. Even when she leaned in closer to him - so close that he was able to smell a little bit of her perfume and he thinks to himself that it is lovely. Emmett does not pull back. Neither does she. “Fair deal? Those nuns would have just expelled you on the spot. I was genuinely just trying to help you.” He means this sincerely and he says it that way. “Hm, fair point. All I’m saying is…I know where more alcohol is and I’m going to go get it. You can come with me or you can stay here and miss out. It’s up to you.” 

She doesn’t retort. Not because she thinks he’s right, but rather that she can’t help but think about how this wasn’t the first time he’d felt inclined to “help” her. It amuses her. She figures one day she may ask him about it, but now was not the time. Now, he was walking away from her. But his offer is still on the table, and she knows that deep down she’d regret not going. What did she have to lose, anyway? It was the perfect opportunity to skip the dance that she was so dreading, and it seemed that the universe had given her another tool to ease her night. She was thankful for it. She lets out a sigh, her last attempt at resistance. She follows him, quickening her steps to catch up to where he was. She tries to convince herself that it’s just to retrieve her flask because it’s easier than knowing that she might actually like hanging out with him. “I hope for your sake it’s there,” she whispers finally, grinning in the dark where he can’t see. “If not that’d be quite embarrassing.”

[charbroussard]

acaciabuchanan​:

Acacia barely heard the sound of metal hit the floor over the music, but then she felt something hit her heel and the girl had to push away too much skirt to see what it was. Then she heard curse and her attention was pulled over to Tillie acting extremely unlike herself. The blonde girl quickly scooped up the metal flask, shoving it into the little room she had in the top of her dress––almost hissing at the cold pressing against her skin, and rushed to the aide of her friend before it caused a scene. 

“Hi. Sorry about that,” Acacia quickly said, pulling the other girl into her arms. “She borrowed my shoes for the night and they don’t really fit.” Giving the best acting she could muster to get out of an awkward situation and before any of the chaperones could take notice. The older of the two managed to get them away, letting the poor other student get back to their night, and Acacia let out huge sigh of relief, well the best she could in how much her own dress was pressing against her ribcage. “Don’t worry about your compact. I have it.”

Tillie doesn’t understand what is happening until she’s wrapped up in Acacia’s arms, the two of them linked together like some two-headed entity. She’s thankful for her friend in that moment, quick witted enough to pull her through the predicament unscathed. She doesn’t know what she would’ve done had it been someone else. Tillie gave the chaperones a quick shrug of her shoulders, nonverbally telling the women that she was okay. Or, rather, would be okay. And as Acacia carries her somewhere private, she does believe that to be true. When they’re finally alone, she wraps her arms around the girl, pulling her in for a hug. It isn’t until she feels the cool metal against her on skin that she pulls away. “Yeah, I see that,” she says, a slight shiver running down her spine as her body recalls the feeling. She takes Acacia’s hand in her own.“I’m so sorry. Do you want some? It’ll be like, uh - a thank you sip!”

[charbroussard]

emmettxclermont​:

 The nuns walk right past them. If their chests had been any closer together, they would be able to feel each other’s hearts thundering in their chests. Emmett didn’t register how little distance there was between them at first - focused solely on making sure they didn’t get caught with the flask. Once the nuns were out of sight and Emmett turned to look back at her, he swallowed hard. He could see all of the fine details of her face. Emmett felt like he’d never truly seen her before this moment. Normally, in a less inebriated state (in both of their cases) they would have pushed each other away by now and likely starting hurling snide comments back and forth. But, this time, she was smiling at him and that made him feel oddly warm. Emmett was quick to blame it on the wine. “Don’t worry, I most definitely was not expecting you to thank me.” he says, laughing quietly. “Oh, this?” He glances down at the flask in his hand. “Only if you don’t mind sharing the rest….and I think I even know where we could find some more.”

Tillie doesn’t know what it is about him in the moment that had caused her to relax. The tension in certain spots of her body had been ridden free of the feeling for a few moments now. She’s sure it happened when he’d smiled at her. Or maybe it was the alcohol. She smelled the bitter aroma of wine on his breath too, and guesses that they both were victim to its forces  But she doesn’t allow herself to reflect on it long. Instead she scoffs in a halfhearted way, and rolls her eyes to let him know that they still weren’t friends. Well, that and to reject his idea. Just like a man to take more than he deserved - she thinks to herself. “That’s not exactly a fair deal, is it? I mean what if we arrive at this magical place and there is, in fact, no alcohol?” She leans in closer to him, brow hitched. “What then?” In truth, she didn’t mind if at the end of their excursion there was nothing to show for it. She feels the urge to be with him then, and for the first time she doesn’t fight it. She hopes that he doesn’t make her regret it.

[charbroussard]

daejungpark​:

Dances were a little overwhelming, he’d have to admit. Maybe it was how dim the lights were, or how crowded it felt in that room with everyone else. Maybe it was all of the emotions he could feel. The giddiness, the angst, everything. Pounding all through his head and tugging at his heart. He just needed a moment to be away. It probably wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t drank a little bit, but now it was as if all of those feelings were amplified. Dae had almost made it out, almost. He could see the lights illuminating the doors to the hallway outside of Baker Hall. Just a few more steps —

“Fuck,” he whispered under his breath, his anxiety seeming to increase by tenfold as the girl clung onto his arm. It took him a moment for his eyes to adjust in the darkness to see just who he had run into so hard. “Tillie?” he questioned. He didn’t want to just pry her off of him, but the energy that was coming from her was only making him a little bit more annoyed that he had been interrupted from his escape. Thankfully, she let go, and he breathed a sign of relief. “Excuse me?” his brows furrowed, sort of surprised that Tillie had been speaking to him like that. It didn’t help that it was as if Dae had been feeding off the negative energy she was putting out. His eyes flicked over to the flask that had flown a few inches away. “You better grab that before someone catches you.”

Even as he spoke her name, she hadn’t registered his voice to be someone she knew. Eyes still closed from bracing herself for the fall, she finally opens them to see Dae before her staring at her with confused eyes. She sighs both of relief and pity. Tillie instantly regrets her tone upon seeing his face, and it makes her want to run away. She’d never speak like that in her right mind, but the rum had a strong grip on her, and he’d have to excuse her mistakes tonight. “Dae!” She shouts. She attempts a smile, but it feels laborious all of a sudden. “Dae, shit - I’m sorry.” She wants to go on about how badly she feels, but he averts her attention off to the side. She looks over her shoulder to see the flask now sitting on the ground, taunting her. She nods a quick thank you before going over to it. Reaching down to pick up the flask her balance wavers, and she falls to the ground. Thankfully her hands somewhat break her fall, but her cheeks flush hot and red from embarrassment. She curses herself for being such a mess, and around Dae of all people. But she pulls herself together as best as she can, trying to play it off to protect her heart from anymore shame. She pats the spot next to her. “Um - Would you sit down here with me for a second?”

[charbroussard]

Khadijha Red Thunder photographed by Sharif Hamza for Allure Magazine (August 2017)

[charbroussard]

emmettxclermont​:

Emmett had been actively avoiding any information about the Sadie Hawkins dance since it was first announced to them by their professor. He simply wanted to forget that it even existed. He didn’t want to see the posters hanging up all around school. He didn’t want to listen to everyone else around him making plans for the dance. Emmett was spiteful because of how normal it seemed for them and he knew he would force himself to go for the extra credit points, despite the fact that school functions were his worst nightmare. Forced socialization with his peers made Emmett anxious in ways that nothing else did. Generally, Emmett felt very confident in himself and his abilities. He thrived in all of his pursuits, except for social interaction - something that seemed to come so easily to everyone else around him. 

The night of the dance came in the blink of an eye. Emmett had purchased a bottle of wine beforehand (thankfully)  and he had kept it stashed underneath his bed. Now, he pulled it out, popped the cork as discreetly as he could and proceeded to chug it during the time he spent getting ready for the dance. By the time he was finally dressed and presentable, the wine was finished. While it might not be the healthiest coping mechanism, Emmett had to say he did feel much better.

Venturing out into the hallways of Letroadec, he made his way to Baker Hall, pleasantly surprised by how he was handling himself despite the fact that his buzz was only getting stronger. He heard the faint sound of the music first, gravitating towards that. Then, as he got closer, he could hear the sound of everyone’s voices, causing him to pause outside of the doors. “Alright, just be in and out. You don’t have to stay long.” he mumbled to himself, and with that, he entered the room. He didn’t even time to begin looking for familiar faces before he felt his shoulder collide roughly with someone else. Then, a tight and sudden grip on his arm that nearly took him down to the floor, but he managed to stabilize them both. When Emmett looked up to see who it was, his stomach dropped. He didn’t know her name, but they most certainly had been fighting for the last two consecutive weeks in class. Before there was a moment to retaliate against what she had said, Emmett spotted a few nuns, likely acting as chaperones, scanning the crowd relatively close to them. His gaze zeroed in on the flask. At the same time, he saw one of them pointing in that general direction. God, why was he always helping her? Emmett shot her a look and then quickly snatched the flask off of the ground and swiftly pulled her out of the room and into the dark hallway, all in a matter of seconds. Emmett normally would have been annoyed and rude as a result, but instead he found himself laughing. “You almost just got yourself into serious trouble, you know that?”

If there was a worse possibility than running into Eve tonight, it was Emmett. The two had gotten off on the wrong foot during the first week of school and made no effort to rectify it. For the last three weeks they’d involved themselves in heavy debates about various topics. They were productive and stimulating, that was certain. But they also vexed Charlotte to no end. Emmett’s smug and defensive demeanor halted any inkling she felt to want to know him on a more personal level. They also distracted her from thinking too hard about how pretty she thought his eyes were - but here they were, staring right at her giving an expression she can’t exactly read. Before she can think, he’s grabbing her arm and her flask. “Hey what are you-” She starts, almost shouting, but stops herself as he pulls her into the hallway, snug in the corner by a stone pillar. Their bodies are close, faces only a few inches away. She swallows hard. Her head snaps to the side when she hears the footsteps. She watches on silently from her spot as the nuns walk past them, too engrossed in their private conversation to notice the pair together in the dark. She only moves away from him when they’re completely out of sight. “If you think i’m gonna thank you, you’re wrong y’know.” She says, unsuccessfully fighting a smile. “And can I have that back?”

[charbroussard]

dialermite​:

Dia’s eyes frantically searched Tillie’s face, watching the expression change from anger to something else that she couldn’t quite put her finger on, but she knew she liked it. She felt her face flush hot, as if all the blood in her body rushed to meet the spot where Tillie kissed her and she felt herself instinctively pulling away from the girl though she wished badly that she hadn’t. Her fingers moved to touch her cheek, feeling the waxy print left behind by her lipstick. She did not bother to rub it away, wearing it instead like a badge. 

“Was I?” She questioned aloud, in disbelief. She hadn’t even told Tillie she was coming to the dance. Her suspicions were quickly settled with Tillie correcting herself, and a tinge of disappointment crossed her mind. “I wasn’t planning on going until yesterday. I didn’t see you in time to tell you, I figured I’d just meet you here.” She watched as Tillie went scrambling, looking for the flask she’d brought with her. Now, she was feeling a strong wave of second hand embarrassment, glad that all of the passing students were paying them no mind. She allowed this to go on for a moment, seeing the flask quite plainly from her position but wanting to give Tillie a chance before she grabbed for it. Tired of waiting, she pulled the flask from its position in the grass and dandelions, twisting open the cap and taking a sniff of what had put Tililie into her current state – rum. Without thinking, she took a hard swig and felt it made its way down her throat, cheap rum at that. “Come on, get up, you’ll get your dress all dirty,” She said, holding a ringed hand out to her friend, “it would only be a favor to all of these other girls, but we can’t have that.” 

Dia’s sudden movement Tillie out of her daze. She turns over and watches from her spot in the grass as the girl takes a swig from the flask. The natural inclination to scold her for not asking for permission is fought hard. It wasn’t like Tillie to share her things, though she mostly blamed this on ‘only child syndrome’. But as the light from Baker Hall shines through the small window of the door next to them, Tillie becomes distracted by the way it hits Dia’s face. It’s a soft glow, but she can’t help but pay attention to how it helped to emphasize how stunning she was. She feels thankful that she gets to look at her any time she wants. “Mmh. You’re s’lucky that I love you. I don’ share m’stolen shit with just anyone.” She laughs then, caressing the blades of grass at her sides. The rum had definitely gotten to her because Dia’s words causes tears to bead her eyes. She can’t find the words to thank her. She wants to kiss her again, but knows that she shouldn’t. Right? Her head shakes a few times as to rid herself of the suggestion. It would probably annoy Dia, and she didn’t want to risk that. She offers her a smile instead. Holding her friend’s soft hand in her own, she pulls herself up and stands. Though it wasn’t much, there was a difference in height between the pair. One would think that Tillie, the taller, should be taking care of Dia. But it never went this way. She smirks at the girl. “You’re like an angel.” The words seem so flippant when she spoken aloud, but Tillie means them. Maybe it was the alcohol blurring her thoughts, but she’s sure in that moment that she wouldn’t survive without Dia.

[charbroussard]

dialermite​:

Diana loathed dances and could not explain to herself why that evening she had chosen to go. Why she had bothered finding a dress in a local thrift store, why she spent an hour in front of a mirror getting her blonde finger waves just right. Perhaps, in the back of her mind, she believed something incredible might occur, or at least something that beat sitting alone in her room all night. Besides that, her cousin had sent her a long letter in the mail urging her to try something, anything, social. Looking down at her dress, she felt silly. It was structureless, a very pale gold, and covered with intricate beading. At the time of purchase, she’d thought it would match her hair nicely, which it did, but being dressed so ornately embarrassed her, it didn’t matter if there were girls there dressed for royal galas instead of a Sadie Hawkins school dance. 

Tragically, she was terribly sober. She had alcohol and she had hash and she even had magic mushrooms, but the more anxious side of her brain told her if she arrived off anything, she’d feel even worse. In the moment, she was learning how wrong she had been with her judgment and wished terribly to not be sober. Maybe that would make the dance bearable, maybe then she’d want to dance at all. 

Having removed herself from the dance and standing just outside, for at least some fresh air, she watched from the shadows as a very familiar face all but stumbled toward the building. It’s only a moment more before Tillie is falling into her, the accompanying flask landing somewhere in the grass. Then she realizes, her friend doesn’t even recognize her. “Are you okay?” Her eyes narrow, as she uses her two hands to steady the other girl. 

Tillie is on the verge of scowling and telling the other person to “fuck off”, but her brain registers the voice as something familiar. Its only when her vision settles that she recognizes her friend; Always there when she needed her, always beautiful. “Dia,” she sighs, dragging her name out as long as her breath could last. The corners of her mouth instinctually lift to form a smile, something she couldn’t quite help when the other girl was around. Suddenly she isn’t so anxious anymore. The quickened heartbeat she’d been trying to conceal had altogether dissipated. If Dia was here, this dance may actually be something she’d enjoy - something fun. She lifts her hands to gently cup her friend’s face, and plants a quick kiss on her right cheek. With the dim light of the setting sun surrounding them, she doesn’t notice the berry lipstick stain she’s left on Diana’s skin.

“You’re jus’ th’pers’n I was looking for!” Her voice is a few decibels too loud, but luckily for her, the music helps to conceal her shouted slurred words from onlookers. She frowns at her words suddenly, lifting her hand to cover her heart to show that what she says next is earnest. “Well, tha’s a lie - but! I’m glad to see you. I didn’t expect to see you. Y’know - at all this.” She makes a sweeping gesture towards the door that separates them from the dance. In the midst of the movement Charlotte notices her empty hands. “Oh shit.” Her head snaps to the side, eyes peering in the grassy area just next to them. She was searching for the faint glimmer of light reflected off of the silver flask, but was having no such luck. Her knees bend to lower her down. She frantically pats the spots next to her, and when she comes up empty, she starts to crawl around in pursuit of what she’d lost. In all of her panic she forgets that Diana is standing there watching her.

[charbroussard]

open //

Tillie stumbled down the old corridors of Le Troadec with a hazy mind and a belly full of liquor. It wasn’t like her to openly be in such a state, but she figured the circumstances more than justified her behavior. School functions made her nervous. In the three years she’d been at her university she managed to avoid them. She much preferred the safety and quiet of her room, where small talk and dancing were not a requirement. She thought she’d be able to make it to the end of her fourth year without giving in. But here she was, spending her Friday night in a dress she hated, succumbing to the fear of missing out on extra credit. 

She’d assumed the alcohol would calm her nerves, but in truth she felt the same amount of anxiety. Though, now, she was a bit more willing to dance if the music was acceptable. Tillie takes a swig of the alcohol again, wiping her chin with the back of her hand as she makes her way towards the event. She doesn’t know who the flask belonged to. Having stumbled upon it while sitting on a bench in the SLUG earlier today, she decided to keep it. What were the odds that the universe would give her exactly what she needed to get through the night? She wasn’t going to pass it up, that was for certain. Upon opening it, she couldn’t tell what the dark liquid was sloshing around in the container. However one whiff clarified that it was rum. It’s so strong she almost gags, and when she takes a sip it burns her throat. But it’s all she’s got, so she doesn’t complain.

The swing of the music guides the girl to Baker Hall. She’s dreading seeing the familiar faces of her peers, but she feels a few sips braver than she did before. After taking one last discreet swig, she reaches into her purse to hide the flask. But in the brief moment where her eyes neglect the view ahead, her body knocks into someone else. Her feet don’t quite catch up and she’s falling forward before she has the chance to stop herself. A desperate hand clutches the other person’s arm to avoid crashing into the ground, but her flask flies out of her grasp and slides a few feet away in the process. “Shit-” She whispers sharply. She wants to shout a thousand insults, but she knew that her mouth wouldn’t work as fast as her brain wanted it to. She also knew that this mess was probably her fault. Realizing her hand is still clutching their arm, Tillie releases and stands up straight as quickly as she can, restoring her balance. “Um watch out?”

[charbroussard]

 emmettxclermont​:

Emmett found himself immediately regretting his decision to speak to her when she turned around to face him, shooting daggers into his chest with the intensity of her glare. He found himself wishing that he would not have even picked up the textbook or thought anything of it. After all, what did he plan on saying exactly? Why did he feel drawn to speak to her anyway? As the woman walked towards him, Emmett quickly realized he was not sure, but his facial expression and composure did not reflect these anxious feelings. He remained calm and unphased as he always did, despite his heart beat quickening. Emmett extended the book out to her, expecting her to rip it out of his hands and maybe bludgeon him with it. What he did not expect was the light touch - the fingertips ghosting over his knuckles slightly as he handed it her. Emmett felt a terrible feeling fill the pit of his stomach and he pulled his hand back as fast as he possibly could without causing the book to fall on the ground. At this point, he was desperately wishing he hadn’t prompted this interaction. Now, this he was sure was plain as day across his face. Still, he had no reason not to cordial at the very least. Her words felt as sharp as her eyes, but Emmett wasn’t exactly expecting a friendly exchange.

“Mm. Well, no offense but I’m not too concerned with your level of preparedness or lack there of for future debates. I’m simply doing you a favor.” He narrowed his eyes at her a bit, realizing that his inquisitive feelings for this woman were being over taken by competitive and defensive tendencies. “Besides, wouldn’t want you to get behind on reading so early in the semester. Especially since it’s clear you’re fighting for top of class as well.” He intuitively knew this to be true, so he did not hesitate to say it. “I didn’t actually mention it and I don’t care much if you remember it or not, but it’s Emmett. Emmett Clermont.” He cocked a brow. “and you are…?”

.

She hums softly. “If i’m not mistaken, I think you should be worried about yourself. I mean between the two of us, I was definitely more prepared for this class. If you want to do me a favor then I suggest doing the supplementary readings so that I’m not having a discussion with someone who doesn’t fully know what they’re talking about, but I digress.” Tillie is rather taken aback at the mention of class ranks. Surely someone like him would not have a chance at making top five. But then she hears it - “Emmett Clermont. Interesting.” She smiles to distract herself from the heavy pit growing in her stomach. She knew that name, she’d recognized it from that stupid newsletter that claimed he was in the ranking she’d been toiling over for years. It was the name of her competition, though the urge to call him an enemy had also tempted her. She’d memorized his name well, hoping that sooner or later she’d run into him. Now was that time, unfortunately, and it feels worse than she imagined. Knowing that someone so clearly less adept than her held the number one rank of upperclassmen makes her blood boil. Meredith was one thing, and she could lose gracefully to the girl if it came to that. But Emmett? There was no way she’d ever let herself be humiliated by coming second to him. She refuses. “I’m -  late. I’ll see you around.” She doesn’t wait for him to reply before spinning on her heels and walking off. In truth, she didn’t ever want to speak to him again. Not until she was first.