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Suburban Nightmare The Scariest Part About Moving to the Suburbs is the Fear of Having to Move Back to the Hood

I grew up in the "hood" of Northwest Ohio and throughout my childhood I was repeatedly told by teachers and social workers "you have to have a college degree." To survive, to live a good life, or to go on vacation once a year, they never specified why we needed to have one - the adults just told us this from the third grade onward in a tone that was serious and haunted us as we clawed our way to high school graduation. Well I moved to the suburbs to pursue a college education, received my Bachelor of Arts, but then wound up jobless for the first 2.5 months after graduating, fearing that I may have to return to the life I thought I left behind in the hood.

This is what it was like.

Part 1/3: Restless

The first few days were not too bad.

I finished school on a Tuesday and had the graduation ceremony the following Saturday. Though I was anxious to begin working full time again after taking almost a month off to focus on school, I forced myself to appreciate having a few days to catch my breath after completing the toughest semester of my undergrad career - under the assumption that my boss would call me back to give me my schedule as promised.

But they never called me back.

I texted. I called. I emailed. Nothing.

I reached a supervisor in my department who promised they would make sure my employer called me once they returned from vacation, but the supervisor also warned me "if you get a new opportunity, take it, because I'm not sure what [they] are planning with you."

I texted. I called. I emailed - for weeks.

Still nothing.

Feeling scorned, neglected as an employee, and painfully confused, I knew I shouldn't go back; not only was I completely ghosted, but this happened on top of several occasions prior when I was not paid on time, not paid the proper amount, and even scammed by a company hacker. And I knew I didn't deserve the shame of going back to a place begging for employment where I had already been so mistreated.

So the job search began.

Part time. Part-time remote. Entry level. Entry level temporary. Full-time summer. Freelance. Temporary full-time summer.

The amount of key terms I came up with to expand my search for jobs ought to have earned me a certificate in SEO optimization. Within a matter of weeks I had easily applied for hundreds of jobs; some remote, some on-site, some part-time, some full-time, some freelance, some temporary.

Job applications had just one line to mention my education - school, degree, and major; I have a degree in English and Digital Media Studies. I could generalize my degree to a Bachelor's in digital communications. I minored in criminal and social justice. I took a digital photography class. I've completed course service-learning hours and internships with a variety of non-profits. I took an HTML coding class. I wrote a parody of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night. I graduated with a 3.6 GPA. I got an A+ in a digital journalism class. I wrote a 20+ page essay for my capstone that I plan to expand into a book. My second capstone was a documentary I could submit to a film festival. These extra points of academic accomplishment were bullet-listed in applications where there was a degree description space, otherwise these were only recognized and respected in my LinkedIn profile.

There wasn't enough space in the education history line to explain all of the challenges I surpassed or all of the awesome awards and accomplishments I earned while getting the degree to write in my education history. I started a student org focused on newscasting. I was the VP of our Black Student Union for 2 years and spoke on behalf of the union at a peaceful protest following the death of George Floyd. I won recognition for Student Org of the Year - twice in a row. I became the student manager of the student engagement department. I was an active member of the Latino Student Union for over 3 years. I petitioned for a town-hall meeting for students and faculty to better our DEI awareness across campus. I was invited to a one-on-one meeting with the university president. I advocated for PRISM and LGBTQ+ acceptance across our campus. I hosted and evaluated numerous surveys to better serve our campus community. I participated in a plethora of volunteer opportunities and campus events. I was an orientation leader. I was an RA. I served as a mentor to underclassmen. My name consistently appeared on the Dean's List.

Suddenly it seemed like my degree did not carry much value. Few job postings prioritized candidates with my degree type - "digital communications but a degree in marketing preferred." It's like they wanted the skills earned from my degree as part of the job description, not the qualifications. Most job postings didn't seem to value my degree at all: "remote communications strategist - degree in journalism or other related field a plus, not a requirement." I had slaved for four years; four years of 18 - 21 credit hour semesters while spear-heading a student org and working anywhere from 2 to 4 jobs at a time, and some trauma healing/family drama because the Universe likes to keep herself entertained I guess. I was the first in my family for over 4 generations to earn a college degree. I took out tens of thousands in student loans. I went to an exam on 4 hours of sleep. I closed work at 1am and went to class the next morning at 8. I had nervous breakdowns and still got my 8-page essays turned in by 11:59pm.

But none of that seemed to matter. In the eyes of employers, overcoming all of those obstacles and challenges did not reflect how I was a good candidate for their position.

The only thing employers seemed to really take into consideration was previous work experience; that shouldn't have been a problem for me, as my resume was rich with experience by having to work to pay for school anyway. I'm a previous graphic designer. I was an intern for a local newspaper. I was a full-time social media manager for one summer. I have various experience mentoring kids/students ages 14 through 19. I was a shift leader at Family Video before the pandemic made us close all our stores. I was a remote political journalist during the 2022 midterms. I've been a coffee barista and was promoted to opening shift leader after my first 30 days. I coordinated a friend's wedding. I became a freelance state manager for a remote election reporting company. I managed the student engagement department and adapted our traditional events to a virtual medium. I've filed parking permits and incident reports. I've painted yard signs. I've hosted people to their dining seats. I've supervised. I've lead. I've delegated. I've supported. I've created. And I've always worked so so hard because in any and every job I could not sleep at night unless I did my best.

The few jobs I did hear back from said they chose "a better candidate" - aka someone with more experience. Either places are preferring to hire older people who have had the chance to garner more experience after college, or getting a college degree is redundant - and that notion of my hard work, discipline, and financial sacrifices from the past four years amounting to arbitrary value was what really started to freak me out.

The college dorm I was escaping homelessness in started looking like a haunted house; the frustration and hopelessness was written in the walls. My life started getting scary. Had my hopes and dreams been built on a lie? Was college just a deferment of the demise set for me by being born and raised in poverty?

The vacancy of my roommate's absence was soon followed by my own absence of income, food, and purpose. No meal plan. No job. No savings. No fail safe. No side hustle.

And no idea what to do next.

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My new home feels like living in a movie

shot on Canon DSLR | Summer 2023

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The Grunge Goddess

Shot on Canon DSLR | Summer 2023

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Some of my favorite pieces so far! Many of these were produced for assignments in my digital photography class!

Sadly some of the quality of these images was last in the upload to Tumblr - if anyone has any tips for preserving photo quality in social media uploading please share those in the comments!

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My own original Cover Letter design! I included the ✨ shape because it is my signature/favorite emoji and I made sure to use the accent color to highlight the specific skills I want the hiring person to remember.

Tool: Canva

Reference for resume contents: Harvard - "How to write a cover letter as a college grad"

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The trailer for my documentary capstone project!

Is it just me, or is it getting more like Gotham city out there? This retrospective reflection on my time as a college student during the Covid-19 Pandemic, the BLM Riots, the Johnny Depp trial, and the overturn of Roe v. Wade attempts to determine if ignorance on social justice issues is the result of a decrease in human empathy or because media has sacrificed the integrity of these experiences for the sake of entertainment and media consumerism.

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Freelance Graphic Design Work: Quince Court Invitations

The mother of a friend of mine knew I worked in graphic design and asked if I could design some court invitations for her youngest daughter's quincenéra. The quince was Cinderella themed, so I worked with the theme and a reference photo of her daughter's dress to create a color scheme and create various ideas!

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Social Media Management as a student manager in the LEAP Student Engagement Department

Though the general job description for the Lourdes Events & Activities Planning committee prioritized coordination campus events, my supervisor quickly noticed my artistic talents from the many event posters I created to advertise our events and delegated social media management to me before I became the committee's student manager.

For these posts - flyers, videos, and student-perspective engagement - I primarily used the programs Canva, Picsart, and iMovie.

This TikTok I made on our student engagement TikTok account - and then reposted to Instagram - was meant to advertise new Lourdes University bandanas we were distributing with our campus spirit merch across campus. For the video, I used a then-trending sound ("woah") and used a combination of iMovie, TikTok, and CapCut to edit and compile the video.

These are some more Instagram posts I made for our page; I wanted our page to be colorful and eye-catching, so I made sure have a variety of colors and vivid photos. I also implemented QR codes in our posts because the main campus social media page was sharing our posts across campus - including on the television prompters! - and realized that event participation was likely to increase if interested students could register for these events the moment they see an advertisement that interests them.

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This is one of many spotlight interviews I conducted as an intern/columnist for the local newspaper called The Sylvania Advantage. When conducting these interviews, I learned important journalism skills such as:

conducting research to familiarize myself with the topic/person of the story

premeditating compelling and thought-provoking questions

properly summarizing/paraphrasing information without altering the integrity of the interviewee's responses

making sure to respect interviewees for their time and participation

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Social Media Internship: Lourdes University Undergraduate Admissions

In the spring semester of 2020, my student organization C.L.A.W.S. - releasing 2-5 minute videos sharing LU news in Campus Life, Academics, Weather, and Sports - had gained a lot of attention across campus. So much so, that the then-director of the Undergraduate Admissions department asked if I would be interested in an internship position as the social media manager.

I accepted the offer, and the position provided the perfect synergy to film/create content for my student org, promote Lourdes on social media, and also advertise the events I was coordinating with the Student Engagement L.E.A.P. committee!

For this internship, I created accounts and content on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and Twitter. Here are some of my favorite contributions to the Instagram page!

For this mass post - which included photos and videos - was created by attending a Spring Visit Day on campus in the summer. I followed prospective students and parents around as they toured the campus and learned more about our financial aid programs!

Part of my marketing plan - which correlated with monthly/weekly content calendars I created - included capturing photos of our picturesque campus. This is a photo of the bell-tower, which sits atop the main campus building and is one of the most recognized places on campus because of its height and because it hosts an exclusive lounge for students in the honors program. I made sure the caption with it appealed to potential students with an interest in photography - marketing positive attributes about the school besides academia and/or athletics for those who may not be coming to Lourdes for a sport or specific academic program.

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LU Spring Visit Day Post

One of the many social media posts I created for the Lourdes University Undergraduate Admissions page - which focused on advertising/promoting the school to prospective freshmen and transfer students.

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C-Span & The Blade Interview: My Student Perspective on the 2020 Election

I was thrilled to experience the C-Span bus on campus in 2019. One of the reporters from The Blade asked for my thoughts on the experience and the upcoming election - especially because it would be my first time casting my vote in a presidential election!

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George Floyd NBC24 Feature

NBC24 and I talked about the need for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion discussions to be incorporated into standard curriculum at a peaceful protest in Sylvania, Ohio following the death of George Floyd.

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On my personal blog, I love to review movies - and I happen to be in a Film Studies class this semester, so I decided to make a template on Canva to summarize my reviews in a visually appealing layout. After each of these "review summaries," I make sure to include my full review: the 2-page essays I write for my film class. I wanted my film reviews to be enjoyable for those who rather read/scroll briefly and those who want an in-depth review/analysis.

A CINEMATIC CLASSIC! This Alfred Hitchcock gem was such a treat to watch - it was so hard to not wake up my roommate watching this because the thrills towards these characters I've grown so fond of had me at the edge of my seat! Try to watch this and NOT add a long-distance camera to your Amazon cart afterward - I dare you. Read my full review below! ⬇️

Any movie buff will insist that Alfred Hitchcock is among the top – if not the very top – film makers of all time, but it doesn’t take an expert film critique’s opinion to believe that Rear Window is an excellent film. From the acting to the script – and especially the soundtrack – this 1954 movie deserves 2,023 gold stars!

            Let’s start with the premise/plot; Jeff – a news photographer - is injured in a car accident trying to snap the money shot at a racetrack, and is stuck in a wheel chair until he fully recovers and can take his cast off his leg. Similar to how most of us felt locked away in our homes during the Covid19 pandemic – more on this later – Jeff gets bored and develops a habit of spying on his neighbors through their open windows, hence the title of the film. What seems like a delusional speculation quickly becomes a real murder mystery when Jeff suspects the neighbor in room 125, a businessman, has murdered his wife! Jeff watches the suspicious neighbor through his long-distance lens, while his girlfriend Lisa and his nurse Stella act as his legs and arms to look for evidence, keeping us at the end of our seats in suspense up until the very end of the film! Thankfully, unlike An American Werewolf in London, the story has a happy ending; the businessman Lars Thorwald is arrested for murdering his wife, Lisa is bailed from jail (busted by Lars snooping in his apartment for evidence), and Jeff survives his violent encounter with Lars in which he, ironically, is thrown out of his rear apartment window. The pacing of the plot is perfectly Hitchcock; the start is slow, and though Jeff suspects Lars of foul play early in the film, we as the audience are even led to consider he may be delusional due to his isolation and boredom. But then, the plot snowballs into suspense; as Jeff notices more odd behavior from Lars and Lisa and Stella begin to believe Jeff’s suspicions, the pace of the plot picks up rapidly as the neighborhood dog is murdered, Jeff and friends find more clues/incriminating evidence, Lisa gets caught in Lars’s apartment - the police show up just in time - then we crash into the climax in which Lars throws Jeff out of his window. It’s an awesome thriller that will keep you gripped through all 115 minutes. 

            The cinematography is worthy of high praise; most of the film is shot within just one setting – Jeff’s room – but we see so much happen through his window and the lack of scene changes is utilized intentionally. Because many of the shots simulate looking through Jeff’s camera lens, the audience can bond intimately with Jeff and quite literally see where he’s coming from. The soundtrack contributes to the setting development as well; we get intense thrilling compositions, but then we also get the ambience of a busy neighborhood in a big city and hear the radio/music from other apartments, which helps us as the audience feel like we are in the apartment with Jeff, Lisa, and Stella trying to solve this murder mystery.

            Overall, I highly recommend this film. Though I am an avid Alfred Hitchcock fan, I don’t think you have to be a Hitchcock expert to appreciate this film style. The pacing keeps your attention at a slow pace then shoots up the stakes in the last half, the casting is great, characters are well-written, and the end is satisfying. 

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C.L.A.W.S. stands for Campus Life, Academics, Weather, and Sports.

I came into Lourdes with the intention of starting this student org even before classes because I noticed online that there was a severe lack of social media community at Lourdes; I wanted to see students having fun and activities to look forward to, but most of the few active social media pages for my school were specifically for athletics.

The first few newscast posts were made solely by me, but as I made friends across campus and advertised our organization, we grew to a team of about 10 students - and by the end of our first year, we won student organization of the year!

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Digital Photography Project 2: The RoadMap to Tulsa

For our second class project, we had to replicate a photobook by a renowned photographer. I chose to replicate Tulsa by Larry Clark because he is one of my favorite photographers (I love his film KIDS) and I liked how he captured the narrative about substance abuse and young-people-culture within Tulsa.