chronicrizz

[chronicrizz]

Three Russian men were sent by their company to attend a convention in Moscow. All 3 shared a hotel room. Two of them cracked open a bottle of vodka, but the third just wanted to sleep.

The two drinkers got louder and louder as the bottle emptied, telling each other political jokes. The third was kept awake, and got angry.

He went outside for a smoke. On his way back to his room, he stopped at the desk and said 'Please send a pot of tea up to room 23.'

The two drunks were still being loud. The third man went in, looked at them, then leaned over to the light socket 'Comrade Major, please send some tea to my room.'

The other men thought this was hilarious...until there was a knock on the door, and a waiter with a pot of tea.

They became completely silent, and the third man fell asleep.

When he woke up in the morning, he was alone. He went to the front desk, and asked where his roommates were.

'Well, the KGB came this morning and took them away.'

The man was horrified 'Why did they spare me?!?'

"The comrade major thought the tea joke was very funny."

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At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table. 

Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.

"This is so embarrassing," the woman says, and she pops her eye back in place. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?" He nods.

The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her phone number and asks, "You are the most charming woman I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."

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happy at last🫶🏻

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California dreaming

Photo credit

@lifestylestudies

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I heard the Canadian Prime Minister resigned. 

I don't know if it's Trudeau.

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Sherlock Holmes and Watson are walking around London when a cat jumps on Watson and pees on him

"Oh bloody hell" says an upset Watson, "my shirt is ruined"

"Well, you got to take it up with the owner", says Sherlock calmly.

"I've no clue who the owner is!" shouts Watson, still angry.

"Well, my dear Watson", says Sherlock, "You are pissed on and pissed off at the same time, it's Schrödinger's cat"

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by gtr.photography_

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Adlerweg trails - Adlerweg, Tirol, Austria, October 2022

photo by: nature-hiking

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“California Popping!” by | Niaz Uddin

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