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the fighting's over. it's all love now x

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So, wow…I think I’m a little heartbroken over that ending guys..fhjy ramblings after the cut..

I truly didn’t think kipperlilly was that conniving..like I thought she hated the bad kids in a way that we knew would be wrong but under the lenses of modern high school bureaucracy would show that capitalism/standardized tests/student loan debt/etc. and the way people feel they have to tear each other down to succeed was the true enemy.

I thought that the party was influenced by the corrupted rage god or possibly aligned with whatever chess game sol and galicaea are playing, but that it’s their party, their friends, so of course they loved Lucy and of course they tried to make Buddy comfortable.

I thought that since kipperlilly hated Riz since freshman year, of course it was something small and silly ossified into something large and unyielding.

But as we get closer to the end and see more of the rat grinders I think I’m absolutely wrong. To sacrifice your own cleric? The betrayal of trust is unimaginable.

Current, galaxy brain, paranoid theories now:

We seem to be lining up multiple gods who fall in two tracks - sun/bounty (Sol, Ankarna, Helio) and dark/cold (Galicaea, Cassandra, Ruvina)

We’ve heard about the games they play in domains and the fact that no one wants to share..but also that so below so above, I think there is a human enacted and god enabled conspiracy by a pair of unnamed gods trying to streamline the domains. Think of the conflict in Galicaea.

I think they wanted Lucy to switch to be both a follower of warmth and cold and when they murdered her they only counted the dark and always planned on killing Buddy (the last stand just accelerated it) as a sacrifice.

I think at least some of them intentionally killed Lucy (new thought for me as I was sticking to my surely the rat grinders loved her as we love her)

For a while I thought they might be using the devil’s honey in the cloud machine for a large area effect but I can’t imagine the sheer amount of honey you’d need based on Gertie’s baklava comment.

Maybe it’s my background showing but I wanted Buddy to see the metaphorical light and become more nuanced. I wanted him to have the room to grow.

I think the devil’s honey is going to be used to make people think the Bad Kids killed him and that’s why there is the worry about Fig and Bobby Dawn.

For real though the rest of the battle? The Bad Kida at their finest! No one went down, they fought connected and inspired and like a well oiled machine. If kipperlilly saw that I hope she was rattled. I hope she saw them pass something literally no one has before and realize their accolades are not empty and she’s going to have to get up earlier in the morning to get them.

Beautiful episode though, the last stand really showed their experience in all the best ways and was just really enjoyable to watch!

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"it's your first time being hit? you're unbelievable." i love how fabian exasperatedly compliments adaine. they are a top-tier duo.

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rewatching sophomore year and when ragh met kalina after prompocalypse, initially he couldn’t see her while she was talking to arianwen, jace, and porter — but then very specifically brennan said porter did some barbarian healing on ragh, and right after that ragh could see kalina.

iirc tracker got the kalina sight after healing sandra lynn (through blood? transfusion?)

ooooooo how long has this plot been plotting …

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On the one hand, fuck Kipperlilly for killing Buddy. On the other hand, I am now 110% on her side after hearing Augefort say “anyone who tried hard instead of doing something stupid is an idiot”. The Rat Grinders may be evil, but this school is arguably worse. It simultaneously punishes anyone not able to meet its standards, but also punishes anyone who does meet those standards. The moral of this season is:Arthur Augefort should NOT be running a school.

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buddy dawn cannot raise himself from the grave.

buddy dawn is not a chosen one.

buddy dawn is a child.

buddy dawn was manipulated by organized religion through no fault of his own, most likely since he was born.

buddy dawn had his throat slit by people he probably considered good friends.

buddy dawn is kristen applebees in a different—worse—life.

buddy dawn is dead, and there’s a good fucking chance helio won’t answer his questions.

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Everyone ready for my saddest TMAGP take yet? I was thinking about how canaries DID used to go underground, miners would bring them down because when the canaries stoped singing it was a sign of a gas leak. So they were a living alarm, the miners would abandon them and make the escape (leaving the canaries to die). Now I’m thinking about Sam and Alice, and how Alice keeps warning Sam, and how she’s getting more serious, I do not like the connections I’m making.

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The Last Stand Exam

This file documents the questions administered to the adventuring party known as the Bad Kids during their Last Standard Exam, in their junior year at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy. This assessment was produced from a variety of class materials relevant to the curriculum of the Aguefort Adventuring Academy, as submitted to the principal Arthur Aguefort prior to the start of the school year. This list is accompanied by documentation of the creatures the party known as the Bad Kids was required to face as part of the exam.

The exam is graded out of 100 points; the scoring involves the students correctly answering the questions in the appropriate time interval as well as their heroic last stands. The students are expected to simultaneously fight off a horde of creatures and participate in the examination equally; each student in this party must answer two of the twelve questions.

Neither exam aids, nor outside interference are permitted during the examination period--this excludes clerical divine intervention, as appropriately performed by a member of the party in question. By standard, the proctor must be protected--death of the proctor results in a 30 point score reduction regardless of circumstance.

By Solisian School District Standards, this party reports excellent grades and a high level of competency with regard to independent adventuring.* They were allotted a grace period prior to exam initiation for preparatory spellcasting and review of the exam parameters. Based on prior academic achievement**, the students were allowed two chances to defer a question or utilize previous materials in their response. Questions where these materials were used will be marked with a **.

Exam Proctor: Gavin Pundle

Assisting Cleric: Buddy Dawn

Party Members:

Adaine Abernant | Wizard

Kristen Applebees | Cleric

Figueroth Faeth | Bard / Paladin / Warlock

Riz Gukgak | Rogue

Fabian Aramais Seacaster | Fighter / Bard

Gorgug Thistlespring | Barbarian / Artificer

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Exam Questions

These will be listed with the appropriate subject as well as the allotted time, and prospective solutions. This is ordered with respect to how the students answered the questions, with the primary respondent indicated.

Investigation: (2 min)

Question: BONY GIRTH

Solution: NIGHT YORB

Primary Respondent: Riz Gukgak

Athletics: (1 min)

Question: What rival Bloodrush team do our beloved Owlbears most often compete against?

A) Buccaneers

B) Hellions

C) Grapplers

D) Scoundrels

Solution: B) Hudol Hellions

Primary Respondent: Fabian Aramais Seacaster

Religion: (1 min)

Question: Which rad Dwarven deity holds dominion over the art of Shredding?

A) Orrie

B) Ollie

C) Ormry

D) Oggie

Solution: B) Ollie

Primary Respondent: Kristen Applebees

Performance: (3 min)

Question: Please compose a limerick, sonnet, or haiku expressing your feelings and emotions relating to the exam you are currently taking.

Solution:

There was an exam that was hard

But luckily, I am a bard

The demons are slayed

'Cause of how we played

They're hoisted by their own petard

Primary Respondent: Figueroth Faeth

Elven: (1 min)

Question: Please translate the following phrase into Common:

"Pedo Mellon a Minno"

Extra Credit: The word "Mellon" is the root word for which extremely weak form of magic?

Solution: "Speak friends and enter"

Extra Credit Solution: Friendship

Primary Respondent: Adaine Abernant

History: (2 min)

Question: 225 immaculate conceptions occurred on the same day in Solace in reaction to the first public performance of which instrument?

A) The octocord

B) The electric lute

C) The astral piano

D) The hurdy-gurdy

Extra Credit: Nine months later, the newborns were discovered to have been wearing vests in utero. What material were the vests made out of?

Solution: B) The electric lute

Extra Credit Solution: Denim

Primary Respondent: Riz Gukgak

Common: (5 min)

Question: Please write a 300 word essay arguing for a proposed improvement at the aguefort Adventuring Academy in the space provided below.

Solution: We believe a greater amount of our grade should come from the actual good we do in the world. Given the number of times our adventuring party have been put in a situation where the actual fate of our very existence has hung in the balance, it seems only fitting that the result of our efforts impact our academic study. Considering the ultimate goal is to become adventurers, it makes the most sense that actual application of our skills would be most important. If actual adventuring doesn't show our skills, what will? No matter how many class I take, it won't make me a better bard or fighter. I, Fabian Seacaster, son of the great Bill Seacaster, privateer, not pirate... (108)**

Primary Respondent: Fabian Aramais Seacaster

Driver's Ed: (1 min)

Question: What is the proper way to reverse a vehicle's orientation 180 degrees while driving at top speed?

A) Signal the turn correctly

B) Slowly decrease acceleration

C) Engage the emergency brake

D) Rebuild the car facing the other way while driving

Solution: C) Engage the emergency brake

Primary Respondent: Figueroth Faeth

Medicine: (1 min)

Question: What is the most certain way for a wounded adventurer to make a full recovery from even the most grievous injuries?

A) Be healed by a powerful cleric

B) Drink an artifact-level healing potion

C) Receive a greater restoration from a celestial

D) Lie down for eight hours

Solution: D) Lie down for eight hours

Primary Respondent: Kristen Applebees

Arcana: (1 min)

Question: What is the most powerful form of magic?

Extra Credit: What is the easiest object in which to magically trap an opponent?

Solution: Chronomancy

Extra Credit Solution: A Gem

Primary Respondent: Adaine Abernant

Mathematics: (2 min)

Question: Two trains are driving toward one another on the same track. The first train leaves Elmville at 5:05 AM traveling at 60 miles per hour. The second train leaves Bastion City, 135 miles away, at 5:30 AM traveling at 70 miles per hour. What is the exact time that the collision will occur?

Solution: 6:20:46 AM**

Primary Respondent: Gorgug Thistlespring

Biology: (45 sec)

Question: Of the following creatures, which cannot turn its prey into stone?

A) Basilisk

B) Cockatrice

C) Gorgon

D) Manticore

Solution: D) Manticore

Primary Respondent: Gorgug Thistlespring

Written Portion of Exam: Passed (100% + 2 points extra credit)

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Last Stand Monsters

This table documents the monsters faced by the party within the duration of the Last Standard Examination.

Format: Monster - Killing Blow

Otyugh - Fireball from Figueroth Faeth

Ochre Jellies - Fireball from Figueroth Faeth

Gorgon - Sneak attack with arquebus from Riz Gukgak

Hydra - Attack with Fandrangor from Fabian Aramais Seacaster + Fire Breath from Hangman

Skeletons - Turn Undead from Kristen Applebees

Mimic - Green Flame Blade from Figueroth Faeth

Manticore - Banishment from Kristen Applebees

Shrimp Dragon - Hellish Rebuke from Figueroth Faeth

Roper - Sneak attack with arquebus from Riz Gukgak

Stirges - Spirit Guardians from Figueroth Faeth

Umber Hulk - Sneak attack with arquebus from Riz Gukgak

Wyvern - Spirit Guardians & Booming Blade from Figueroth Faeth

Crab Man - Attack with Fandrangor from Fabian Aramais Seacaster + Bite Attack from Hangman

Rust Monsters - Spirit Guardians from Figueroth Faeth, Erupting Earth from Adaine Abernant, Fire Breath from Hangman

Pentacorn - Green Flame Blade + Divine Smite from Figueroth Faeth

Purple Worm - Soloed by Gorgug Thistlespring

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Proctor Notes:

Party bard Figueroth Faeth used Disguise Self to assume form of proctor

Proctor attacked by Gorgon, not killed

Significant critical hits throughout combat from Gorgug Thistlespring.

Attendant Cleric Buddy Dawn was killed during the exam by unknown assailants; clarification on this event obtained post-exam and reported to the superintendent.

This party is on record as the first party to complete the Last Standard exam without perishing, thereby understanding Arthur Aguefort's intent for the assessment.

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*Reference files for evaluating adventuring party competency: AAA-BKQ-01-KVX, AAA-BKQ-02-CNK, AAA-BKQ-03-CNY

**This was awarded to Gorgug Thistlespring, for exemplary work as a triple-year artificer student, in addition to the junior year barbarian curriculum

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Brennan you are actually making Lou write a 300 word statement. You absolute monster.

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a barbarian with warding bond is BUSTED oh my god

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Um, actually the EXACT time that the train collision would occur is 6:20:46.153846 repeating AM, Brennan

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siobhan thompson is so smart holy shit all of her spells have been absolute game changers and used so cleverly love her so much love wizards love this dice show

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i love riz gukgak because hes a little cunt but is also kind and gentle at heart and i love gorgug thistlespring because he is kind and gentle at heart but is also a little cunt

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auto suggest bewilders me

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Here’s the new 24 hour comic I drew this year!  This one is called THE KING’S FOREST.  cw: blood, violence

PS: if you liked this, there’s a whole book of these comics available now!