classeact

[classeact]

i wanna soft reboot this blog but would any1 write with me if i did

[classeact]

dreance·:

JACKPOT !    A GRIN TUGS THE CORNERS OF HER LIPS UPWARDS.      she is happy.      ❛                perfect.    do one you haven’t done on me before.    i wanna be WOWED,   jesse.   ❜

           he has to think for a moment ,      card tricks aren’t something he will ever run out of  ,     but she’s seen a lot of them .     more than anyone else ever has .     with a breath ,     he cleaned off the surface between them and began stacking piles .      three piles of five cards lay next to each other ,      and then stopped .

             ❝       pick a pile  ,      shuffle it  ,     and put it down in front of you.      then pick another pile ,     shuffle it ,     and then split the stack and look at the card on the bottom of the split .     memorise it .       ❞

[classeact]

dreance:

❛   I’M BORED.    ENTERTAIN ME.     oh,  i’ve got an idea !    do a magic trick,   pleeeeeeease ?   ❜

@classeact

             ❝       what   kind   of   trick  ?       ❞      he   looks   over   to   the   other  ,      dark   eyes   scanning   over   her   features   as   he   dips   a   hand   into   his   pocket   to   uncover   a   deck   of   cards .

                      ❝       card   trick  ?       ❞

[classeact]

*   galexshe.

                         SHE HAD ONLY JUST REALIZED WORDS SLIPPED FROM HER LIPS ALOUD. when she looks at him , odd eyes so wide and the color of brown cheeks flushing fluorescent hot pink – a tell tale sign of abnormal blood , extraterrestrial heritage.         ❛ did i really say that out loud , i’m so sorry !  ❜  but then with those stars on the curve of her lips , the night sky reflected in the foaming sea of her curls  ; wasn’t she yet some beauty , a visage that only the universe could have intended. HOLY. RIGHTEOUS. EMBARRASSED & HUMBLED. 

                         she chokes on words , a stumbled apology – but the smile that comes to her mouth is so bright ; a line of stars across her tongue.  HUMOR on her words , because she was so used to talking about flubbing that it seemed she could only make fun of her self at this point.         ❛ i hadn’t meant you – i just ; sometimes when silence falls , the universe gets very loud. ❜

          silence   was   like   a   companion   to   him  ,      always   following  ,      always   stalking   like   a   shadow .        he   could   never   completely   brush   it   off   and   when   he   tried   he   only   found   silence   internal .       THE   UNIVERSE   WAS   ALWAYS   LOUD   FOR   HIM .       a    cacophony   of   noise  ,       every   whispered   word   like   a   scream    and   every   scream   like   pressing   one’s   ear   to   a   foghorn .      `&   his   voice  ,      lost   somewhere   in   the   crowd  ,      would   never   be   heard .        not   even   if   he   wanted   it   to   be .        FOR   NOW   THAT   HE   HELD   A   VOICE   HE   ONLY   EVER   SPOKE   LIES .

                 ❝       well  ,       i   could   try   to   fill   the   silence   for   you .         i’ve   been   told    that   i’ve   fallen   into   the   habit   of   doing   so   a   lot  ,      lately .      ❞

[classeact]

*   holiestwars

         A crooked smile pulls at one corner of her mouth before she can help herself. God, she did love the fucked up ones. It should have registered with her somewhere that someone so masochistic was obviously grappling with serious issues of self loathing and that this issue might be better served with more poignant questioning and delicate care, but the thing about that was that the boss was in the same boat Jesse was, maybe a different make and model, but it was the same brand: Escapism™.

         "Mm,“ she hummed, "you know I love the violence.” It was a rare occasion that it was for someone else’s pleasure, but it definitely wouldn’t be the first time. Usually she was knocking people around because they were a threat to the Saints, but the same principle still held true, she found. “Y'know, if I were a real sadist, I’d do nothing at all.” And wouldn’t that be a shame? She leans forward, weight shifting on top of him, their faces close enough that he could lift his head and touch her. “How much do you like it? Just to clarify.”

             he   gazes   up   at   her  ,     eyes   meeting   eyes  ,     a   formulation   of   a   smirk   resting   upon   his   features .      how   much   did   he   like   it   ?      the   feeling   of   coming   somewhere   close   to   destruction  ,      of   life   on   the   edge   and   in   the   hands   of   another  ?       𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓   𝐖𝐀𝐒   𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐒 .     that   was   the   not - so - careful   reminder   of   what   he   knew   very   well   that   he   deserved .      `&   the   ruination   that   he   craved   for .     for   if   he   could   not   be   perfect   then   he   would   rather   be   nothing   at   all .      supine   to   her   ministrations  ,     he   manages   a   croak   of   a   laugh .

          ❝       plenty .     ❞      he   announces   without   hesitation  ,     shifting   slightly   where   he   lays   for   the   weight   atop   of   him   causes   discomfort .     but   with   half - lidded   vision   and   a   tainted   grin   still   playing   on   his   expression   it’s   clearly   not   something   that   worries   him .       ❝       maybe   more   than   you   love   the   violence  ,     signora .     ❞

[classeact]

IXORA QUEENS  / / /  001 .

              LETHE , EMBODIED AND REBORN ; YET GUILT STILL TROUBLED HER MORE SO THAN OBLIVION . WAS SHE NOT HOLY ?       /       arguing with him never ends favorably , it seems ; her hands shake but the work is done ; 10 baby blue clouds in her soft hands . there are tears that collect behind her lids, but she cannot let the rain fall along the sky’s clouds . not when they were so brand new and stained the color of the sky ; it would not rain on them . so she sets them aside , and suddenly unoccupied hands fidget and dance ; like her pupils as she watches his antics .

             she reads him like the elders read the sun dial . can see the flaws in the mask , and between those cracks are insecurities . that softer man that would crawl into her arms and rest there . the softer man that would stay at her place for weeks at a time , make her breakfast and sing her songs in a language she never really cared for but learned anyway . the man that was hesitant in touching her , but would moan under her ministrations . her words read as exasperated when she talks .         ❛ god you are so painfully unfair ; everything has to go YOUR way or you just can’t stand it right.❜         the stars that glitter against her eyelashes fall like comets streaking across the sky . that wasn’t a cosmic event , those were her tears and they roll despite her best effort to keep them at bay .        ❛ do you ever think of others when you speak like this ? ❜

            she wants to let him go , wants to let him WALK OUT OF HER LIFE . she was a mother , and she was grown ; too old to be dealing with children that were far beyond the age of babysitting . but she’s petty , for a moment , and she wants the last word . how dare he make her cry ; mother’s day sits heavily in the back of her mind , her sons wanted to make something for her . it had made her giddy , when her ex had told her as much .  how dare he make her cry when her life was going so tangibly well despite everything she had been through.

                ❛ you are so selfish , i can’t stand it . you know you matter to me , you always have. ❜      she sneers , slamming a hand down along marble counter tops , the force cracks the surface – fissures web from epicenter outward ; it would need to be replaced.      ❛ you have so thoroughly tried to tear me down , no matter how many times i’ve tried to help you . you ask me ‘how long’ instead of asking about how my children are when i got visit them ; you are apart of my life , but you chose to be a bad part of it because you cannot control yourself when you don’t get your way. so you know what , jesse , you hurt everyone you care about because you're so thoroughly scared of letting others in. ❜

                   ❛ i understand your motivations , your illnesses , and your paranoia . but i refuse to be treated like this . and if you cannot learn to treat others better you’re going to be alone ; or worse , you’ll end up like your parents . superficial and awful. ❜

           he   sees   himself   reflected   in   the   silver   of   her   tears  ,      though   how   often   it   was   that   he   used   to   feel   the   sorrow   within   him   but   was   unable   to   express   it .       where   he   wished   to   cry   but   could   not .        𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍   𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑   𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐃   𝐓𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐋𝐘   𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃   𝐇𝐈𝐒   𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐀𝐓   𝐀𝐍𝐃  𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐃   𝐇𝐈𝐌  ,      when   he   could   not   talk   nor   move   and   as   frozen   as   his   body   was  ,     he   could   not   even   breathe   to   let   tears   fall .       `&   now  ,      for   that  ,      the   guilt   eats   him   alive .      no  ,      he   knows   how   it   feels   to   want   to   cry  ,      and   how   it   feels   to   be   so   completely   terrified   of   doing   so .        façade    shatters   like   the   counter   top   when   she   breaks   her  fist   down   upon   it   `&   his   only   response   is   a   momentary   panic .       𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐁𝐒   𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐍  ,      𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆   𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐒 .

    she   tells   him   everything   that   he   already   knows  ,      everything   that   he   tells   himself   he   is   prepared   for .      but   he  knows  ,      without   shadow   of   a   doubt  ,      that   he   could   never   be   prepared .       so   many   times   he   has   ghosted   in  ,     and   out  ,      of   another’s   life .        𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇   𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄   𝐇𝐄   𝐇𝐀𝐒   𝐀𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐃 .     but   each   time   he   became   a   little   closer   to   feeling   his   shadow   than   the   man   who   was   casting   it .       he   was   already   alone .     because   she   was   right  :       he   was   despairingly   frightened   of   what   he   was   beneath   the   mask .     he   was   not   cruel  ,       𝐍𝐎𝐓   𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄   𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 .      but    choice   lay   between   cruel   and   invisible  ,      `&   he   was   tired   of   both .      it   was   so   much   easier   to   pretend   to   be   someone   else .       HE   IS   NEITHER   A   MAN   NOR   A   SHADOW  ,      BUT   SOMEWHERE   IN   BETWEEN .

       he   is   silent   for   a   long   while  ;       unable   to   find   it   in   him   to   voice   any   word   that   perhaps   he   should   be   speaking .       he   knows   he   could   stop .      𝐀𝐓   𝐀𝐍𝐘   𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄   𝐇𝐄   𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃   𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄   𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐘 .    but   even   the   thought   alone   brings   an   icy   cold   shard   to   dig   through   his    heart  ,     and   his   blood   runs   winter .      the   mention   of   his   parents   makes   the   ice   grow  ,      his   mamma   who   he   used   to   love   so   dearly  ,      and   his   papa   he   remembers   now   for   his   position   at   the   kitchen   table   as   he   stared   at   his   son   in   disappointment .       𝐍𝐎𝐓   𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒   𝐎𝐅   𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐘   𝐖𝐀𝐒   𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃   𝐄𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇   𝐅𝐎𝐑   𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 .      now   he   stands   still  ,     motionless  ,     like   a    statue   as   sickness   swims   in   the   pit   of   his   stomach .      and   even   though   he   could   admit   it   to   himself  ,       to   admit   it   to   another   was   like   resigning   one’s   self   to   their   will .       to   admit   that   he   was   so   scared   of   being   alone   that   everything   he   did   to   prevent   it   isolated   him   further . 

              ❝       i   know .       ❞

[classeact]

WHICH GREEK GOD / GODDESS DO YOU REFLECT THE MOST ? your   result   :       HADES

hades is the god of the underworld, the dead, and riches. despite modern connotations of death as evil, hades was actually more altruistically inclined in mythology. hades was often portrayed as passive rather than evil; his role was often maintaining relative balance. that said, he was also depicted as cold and stern, and he held all of his subjects equally accountable to his laws.

TAGGED  BY   :    @galexshe TAGGING   :         any1 who wants to do it can tag me!!!

[classeact]

IXORA QUEENS  / / /  001 .

                     A BREATH DRAWN , FIRST THROUGH NOSE THEN OUT THROUGH HER MOUTH .  she almost wants to laugh , if not simply for the fact that she cannot believe the gull of him in the slightest . she gently sweeps strings of cut blue paper into waiting trash , and briefly it reminds her of the cut strands of her hair . briefly , if only for a moment , it reminds her of all the things that she’s let go , and for less trouble than all of this. when she looks at him again , she’s tired – but she’s resolute. if he wants to play this game , and even if it hurts her and him ; she’ll play . and she WOULD win this time .        ❛ i could , and i will – so don’t worry about having to come back around .❜ 

                      she doesn’t have the height , but she has the demeanor ; she knows what gets to him , knows what scares him . she hates using it against him , but the game he wants to play is one that she rather never have to play with him if she can buck it . so she digs her teeth in , and he cowers away and runs out of her life : SO BE IT . she doesn’t have time for it , too much to do than to mother a man like this.  ❛ i can’t do this with you everyday , especially when you don’t get your way .  ❜

                     ❛ is there anything that i need to return to you – i think you have a few outfits in my closet ; i could grab them for you . ❜

           and   there   she   would   call   his   bluff  ,      as   if   it   was   merely   a   bluff  ,       like   she   believes   his   pain   truly   is   naught   but   a   mirage .        𝐁𝐔𝐓   𝐈𝐓'𝐒   𝐀   𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐒𝐄 .       beneath   the   malice  ,     beneath   the   intent   to   wound   is   the   wish   for   more   than   rejection .     the   wish   to   feel   like   he   is   more   than   expendable .        but   she   does   not   respond   as   suspected  ,     and   as   a   result   his   mind   is   shifted .       𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐒   𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄 .       he   steps   back  ,      as   though   stunned  ,       but   he   merely   nods    as   though   the   concept   is   familiar .      then   he   smiles   a   strained   smile .

             ❝       i   don’t   need   them .        ❞           but   it   hurts .      like   his   heart   is   folding   in   on   itself .       𝐈𝐓'𝐒   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐄   𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐃   𝐎𝐅   𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐍  ,      𝐈𝐓'𝐒   𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐄 .       he   has   never   been   perfect   for   anyone  ,     he   was   made   aware   of   such   in   his   youth .      now   he   knows   it .      so   he   doesn’t   try .     commitment   was   like   resigning   one’s   self   to   ingesting   small   doses   of   mercury  ,      so   you   won’t   feel   it   till   the   end   finally   comes .       even   kindness   cannot   change   that  ,     it   simply   makes   the   flavour   sweeter .

                  ❝       i   never   realised   how   little   i   was   worth   to   you  ,        but       .      .      .         ❞         he   hesitates  ,      unintentionally  ,     the   lies   sometimes   become   too   much .      𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒   𝐇𝐄   𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐋𝐄𝐒   𝐓𝐎   𝐃𝐈𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐄 .          what   he   wants  ,       what   he   needs  ,     and   what   he   tells   himself   `&   others .       but   sometimes   it   works   better   that   way  ,      to   show   a   little   bit   of   the   truth .      𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍   𝐀   𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐒𝐄   𝐂𝐀𝐍   𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓  𝐅𝐀𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃   𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍   𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 .      so   he   looks   down  ,       sucks   his   bottom   lip   inwards   between   his   teeth  ,     takes   yet   another   step   back   towards   the   door   and   in   a   quick   flourish   throws   his   hands   up   in   defeat .        ❝       i'll   go   -------------------     i   won’t   get   in   your   way .      i   just   wanted   to   be   a   part   of   your   life   and   not     .     .     .        not   a   problem .       ❞

[classeact]

IXORA QUEENS  / / /  001 .

                     ❛I’M SORRY , JESSE – I DIDN’T MEAN IT THAT WAY. ❜       she truly means that, and while she has her shields up – she knows that it will hurt her sometimes later .SHE KNOWS WHAT HIS GAME IS, she  has been around him long enough to know what he’s trying to do here. it’s always been best for her to grit her teeth and wait for him to get bored or need her positive attention. she knows damn well the barbs are to keep her right where she is – too well does she recall whispered facts of his childhood, the people that hurt and abused him. but she could only hope that at some point in his life , he stops lashing out at others that obviously care about him. she looks away from him, a breath drawn between full lips. her hands find busy work, things she had been doing moments before. cutting out the shapes of clouds for her baby boy, there is no underlying tremor – nothing that can say he has gotten under her skin. BUT HASN’T HE ANYWAYS.        ❛ i gave you the key because i trusted you – so you wouldn’t have to crawl into my windows ❜

                    ❛ you don’t scare me, but i’m a mother jesse – sometimes i can’t do the best for only you. ❜         she gently maneuvers colored paper between speckled hands. full lips gentle as they shape reprimands, reproach for his behavior. she knows that it will probably not go over well but she’s so tired.        ❛ do you want to end this, because i’ve said we could if we want. ❜  

           to   end   it  ?      that   he   could   do   so   easily .     he’s   lost   count   of   just   how   many   times   before   that   he’s   pulled   the   ripcord .      `&   𝐒𝐎   𝐎𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐍   𝐖𝐀𝐒   𝐈𝐓   𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓   𝐇𝐄   𝐖𝐀𝐒   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐎𝐍𝐄   𝐃𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 .       it   almost   seemed   like   a   habit  ,      now .     the   relationships   and   the   connections   meant   nothing   to   him   in   the   beginning  ;     just   a   little   fun  ,      a   little   escape .      but   when   things   grew   too   close  ,     when    the   distance   became   personal  ,      it   was   easier   to   call   it   quits .       𝐁𝐔𝐓   𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊   𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒   𝐈𝐍   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐒 .        so   they   wouldn’t   come   back   around .      this   was   not   the   time   for   that .     this   was   a   time   to   pierce   the   knives   deeper .

          ❝       is   it   that   easy   for   you  ?        ❞          there   he   turns   it   around .        𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓   𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐒   𝐇𝐈𝐌   𝐀   𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑   𝐇𝐄   𝐂𝐀𝐍   𝐔𝐒𝐄 .       project   it  ,      and   destroy   a   person’s   image   of   themselves .     he   takes   a   breath   --    it   shakes   --   and   his   eyes   are   cast   up   to   the   ceiling   as   his   lip   trembles .        ❝       you   could   really   just   end   it  ,      like   that  ?       without   hesitation  ?       ❞

[classeact]

IXORA QUEENS  / / /  001 .

                 SHES HONESTLY NOT QUITE SURE WHAT TO SAY. to be honest, she had assumed that she figured out ever nuance of him. had figured that whatever she did not wouldnt surprise him, because SURELY she had reassured him enough that he would trust her by now. a part of her is hesitant, worried, almost tired ; wondering what in the name of the stars is going on herer to make her the villain where she should be in the right. surely , surely , thinking back on it – hadn’t she done what anyone in her situation would do.        ❛ honestly, i’m not trying to be passive aggressive, i figured that it would be safer to change my locks. ❜

                  ❛ i know you like to come over but i think it’s best that you have a key – so you won’t scare me or the little ones  ❜      but even then, it seems that she can only hope to calm him down ; return him back to that more quiet boy who was content to lay his head on her shoulder when she had the time to sit with him. to the man SHE knew HE could be. she intends on waiting it out, hopefully whatever words her has to say slide over her like rain.      ❛ if i were angry with you i would have told you outright, i promise. ❜

🌟 ———————     ╱     @classeact

         there’s   two   sides   to   every   story   ---------------   everything  that   he   portrays .     𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄'𝐒   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐋𝐈𝐄 .   the   falsifications  ,     the   silver   words   or   the   subtle   tones   of   manipulation .     `&  then  ,     beneath   that  ,     there’s   the   truth .     the   silent   truth   that’s   ever   so   hard   to   pick   up   on .      he’s   silent   for   a   moment  ,      brow   furrowed   with   a   crease   above   the   bridge   of   his   nose   and   marring   his   expression .      𝐇𝐄   𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓   𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄   𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐑   𝐀𝐒   𝐃𝐀𝐘 .     yes  ,     he’s   been   locked   out   before .     his   own   parents   had   shut   the   door   in   his   face .      no  ,     they’d   slammed   it .     𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐂𝐄𝐃   𝐇𝐈𝐌   𝐓𝐎   𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄   𝐀𝐍𝐃   𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐃   𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄   𝐄𝐋𝐒𝐄   𝐓𝐎   𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 .     `&   even   if   a   key   should   fall   into   his   possession  ,     what   then  ?     how   hard   would   it   be   for   her   to   simply   change   the   locks   again  ?      he   pushes   past   it  ,     latches   on   to   something   else .

           ❝       i   scare   you  ,     huh  ?      that’s   why  ?        ❞        a   sigh   falls   from   his   lips   as   his   expression   softens   slightly .     not   in   a   good   way     --------------     it   falls  ,     accepting .       ❝       if   you   wanna   keep   me   out  ,      then   you   can   tell   me   that  ,     too .       𝐈'𝐕𝐄   𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐃   𝐈𝐓   𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘   𝐎𝐅   𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒   𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 .        ❞

[classeact]

hi?

[classeact]

KATIA VUKAXIN  / / /  002 .

She watched the gears turn and the light cross his face like that of a god nearing destruction. What a beautiful sight to see, but it did not fill her with happiness, it filled her with pain. Pain of the destruction that she caused, because of things she did. It was two astroids converting onto a point that shattered into a million pieces. If a world was ending, it seemed to be her own and his together, IMPLODING. 

“Jesse-” What if he was hurting her, what if through everything he was hurting her, killing her slowly, what was she to say to someone who was so broken she wasn’t sure she could glue him back together. What if that was what this was all about, him thinking that she could fix him by being with him. “I can’t fix you..” She closed her eye’s breathing in his smell, the beauty that he was, she had broken it for good or bad. Either way, she couldn’t fix him, just after she broke him. 

                   of   course   she   couldn’t   ---------------------------     he   knew   that  ,      he   knew   that   after   everything   he   was   irreparable .     𝐈𝐓   𝐖𝐀𝐒   𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓   𝐀   𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑   𝐎𝐅   𝐀𝐃𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 .      it   doesn’t   stop   him   from   wishing   that   she   could  ,     from   wishing   that   it   was   so   easy  ,     and   as   a   result   her   words   struck   him   as   a   pain    in   his   chest .       underneath   those   words   was   a   confirmation  𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓   𝐇𝐄   𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐘   𝐈𝐒   𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 .       that   everything   about   him   is   cracked  ,     torn  ,     shards   of   glass   and   damaged   bone .        ❝       i   know .      ❞

           ❝       i   can’t   fix   me   either     .     .     .       but   i   want   to   try .        ❞

[classeact]

it   don’t   always   feel   good   to   wear   a   cloak .      𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄   𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐀𝐊𝐒     .    .    .      𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘   𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐓   𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘   𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄   𝐘𝐎𝐔   𝐏𝐔𝐓   ‘𝐄𝐌   𝐎𝐍  ,     like   a   scar   that’ll   never   fully   heal .      and   that’s   the   point :            if   it   hurts   when   you   wear   it  ,     you   aren’t   liable   to   forget .

 𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓   `&   𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄   𝐂𝐀𝐘𝐃𝐄-𝟔   𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 .   //   written   by   heather .     currently   dash   only .

[classeact]

dont be a coward, follow me @lightlss

[classeact]

KATIA VUKAXIN  / / /  002 .

She watched him, it was like the clashing of darkness and light, but she was no better, she was no gentler, no good night for her to fall into, she was black, but he was the black hole. It broke her heart seeing him cry, thumbs gently wiping away the tears that decided to fall, she had to HELP in anyway that she could. She didn’t want him to HATE any part of himself, she wanted him to stay, by her side, forever. 

“I want you to be WHO YOU WANT TO BE JESSE. NOTHING MORE. NOTHING LESS” She didn’t know if it was possible, seeing as though truthfully she wasn’t even sure what she was doing, what she was doing with him. She pushed her forehead against his more, climbing off of the counter top, if anything she wanted to be standing with him as she thought for a moment. Words came from her lip’s like water falling over a water fall or the way the earth seemed to be flat to those people long ago. Like she was standing on the edge of something that could CHANGE HER. 

“Jesse- I-” She didn’t look away from him, thinking for a moment, watching him, watching the way he looked at her, the way he seemed to be holding onto something she was unaware of. “I won’t make you be cruel like that to me Jesse.” It was whispered, she found herself leaning toward’s him another whisper falling form her lip’s. “I’ll-” She couldn’t finish that sentence, she wasn’t going to use him, if she had too, she would use him, if that would help. 

                                              “I will.” A whisper. 

            the   truth   is   that   he   hadn’t   known   what   to   expect  ;        whether   she   would   choose   herself  ,      choose   him  ,      or   something   somewhere   inbetween .        but   this   state   that   they   were   in  ;     𝐀   𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃   𝐎𝐅   𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐄   𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐄𝐒  ,     𝐎𝐅   𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐒   𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘   𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃   𝐍𝐎𝐓   𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 ..       this   choice   she   had   made   would   inevitably   hurt   them   both  ,     but   it   would   hurt   her   less   than   any   other   alternative .      𝐀   𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃   𝐎𝐅   𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐄   𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐄𝐒  ,     𝐎𝐅   𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐒   𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘   𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃   𝐍𝐎𝐓   𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 .      it   was   nothing   more   than   he   deserved .       he   shifted   his   weight  ,      took   a   breath   -----------    it   wouldn’t   stop   the   tears   from   falling   but   it   helped .                ❝       i’m   sorry .      ❞            he   didn’t   know   what   he   was   apologising   for  ,     whether   it   was   to   her   or   to   himself  ,     whether   it   was   for   the   past   or   for   the   future .      perhaps   it   would   cover   all   bases .

        one   hand   lifts  ,       fingers   brushing   against   her   cheek .      he   didn’t   know   what   it   was   that   he   wanted   to   be .      𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓   𝐇𝐄   𝐖𝐀𝐒   𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄   𝐖𝐀𝐒   𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐆𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 ,       some   cowardly   child   that   he   hated  ,     someone   who   could   not   breathe   a  word   of   the   pain   he   had   felt   in   living   with   himself .       𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓   𝐇𝐄   𝐖𝐀𝐒   𝐍𝐎𝐖   𝐖𝐀𝐒   𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐄  ,     the   hatred   had   grown  ,     festering  ,    until   it   had   overflown   and   infected   everyone   around   him .       `&   then   there   lay   the   question   of   what   he   wanted   to   become .      𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄   𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆  ,     𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄   𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄  ,     𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄   𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐃 .      and   yet   to   become   that  ,     meant   to   be   honest   first   ------------    and   his   honesty   was   cruel .      𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄   𝐖𝐀𝐒   𝐍𝐎   𝐖𝐀𝐘   𝐓𝐎   𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐃   𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 .             ❝       you   can   do   what   you   want   to   me  ------------      with   me  --------------      throw   me   away   if   you   want .      as   long   as   it   makes   you   happier .       𝐈   𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓   𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄   𝐀𝐍𝐘   𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐃��𝐄𝐒𝐒   𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌   𝐘𝐎𝐔 ,      i   know   that .     i’ll   be   grateful   just   knowing   that   i’m   not   hurting   you   anymore .      ❞

[classeact]

THE BOSS  / / /  002 .

         "What are you, fucking twelve?“ A wary step in his direction, still not entirely sure what he’ll do if she gets closer to him. Sure, she didn’t peg him for the brawling type, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have his own misguided ideas about his abilities, and some people took it very personally when you sucker punched them. There was something about that laugh, something about the blood on his face and the glint in his eye that made things low in her body tighten. Another step. "Or maybe you just like getting your ass knocked around.” Now that was something she could get behind.

         Mikey placed her boot on the side of his chest, against the shoulder that was holding up his weight, and pushed, the pressure firm, but not enough to bruise unless he fought her. Then she sat, boots on either side of his head, legs bent, ass on his upper chest, fishnets and a poor excuse for short shorts right in front of his face. She hoped her weight was making it hard for him to breathe.

           perhaps   it   was   a   little   bit   of   both  ;        child   so   long   repressed   that   all   it   could   do   was   wander   around   in   a   world   ill   designed   for   him .         𝐖𝐇𝐘   𝐅𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓   𝐈𝐓  ?       it   was   easier   to   simply   enjoy   the   pain   that   life   has   handed   you  ,      especially   if   now   it   is   pain   that   is   deserved .        𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓   𝐇𝐄   𝐇𝐀𝐃   𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐃   𝐓𝐎   𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄   𝐇𝐀𝐃   𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘   𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐃   𝐇𝐈𝐌   𝐈𝐍   𝐀   𝐃𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐑   𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐄 .     he   was   stuck  ,     unable   to   claw   his   way   out   from   the   ditch  ,     `&   there   is   where   he   had   learnt   to   live .      as   the   other’s   boot   presses   down   against   his   shoulder   he   allows   himself   to   fall   back  ,     resting   against   the   floor   again .     he   doesn’t   try   to   fight   back  ,     not   even   once     (   he   knows   he   also   couldn’t .   )

             although   his   breathing   is   laboured   now  ,     he   is   still   able   to   formulate   a   response .      𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒   𝐀𝐑𝐄   𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃  ,     𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐂𝐄𝐃   𝐎𝐔𝐓 .      this   is   what   he’d   asked   for  ,      so   there   were   no   complaints   from   him .        ❝       what   would   you   do   if   i   did  ?        you   like   knocking   people   around  ?      ❞

[classeact]

okay so i just got home and i really hate to make this post because i already opened commissions but i just got pulled over and landed a wonderful $117 ticket. i do NOT have the money to have this paid before the 16th of april when its due. i really really REALLY need some donations if anyone can put money my way i would appreciate it a lot because im literally freaking out. HERE IS MY PAYPAL.