commiepumpkin - Tumblr blog

[commiepumpkin]

[commiepumpkin]

irl i don't normally tell people my pronouns unless they directly ask, but this has led to a very silly occurrence i call DLC pronouns. my gender is a sidequest you can unlock in the dialogue tree if your character has a high enough lgbtqia+ stat . or if my pride keyring falls out of my pocket.

[commiepumpkin]

the humble "like" is oft mocked despite what it does for us. "like, three people" is a vastly different statement from "three people". "and i was like 'what the fuck'" is vastly different from "and i said 'what the fuck'". i love you "like" and anyone who says you make people sound stupid will be killed on sight

[commiepumpkin]

the anime cut some of kabru's internal monologue, and i need you anime only people to Witness this guy's bizarro thought patterns in social interactions. all this man knows is eat hot chip and lie.

[commiepumpkin]

Every race culture and creed thinks they invented the butter cookie tin with sewing supplies in it

[commiepumpkin]

guy sitting in front of me in class was vandalizing wikipedia and i kept reverting his edits as soon as he made them and he couldn't figure out why it was happening

[commiepumpkin]

hey, wanna know something cool?

a little over a century ago, the polar explorer Ernest Shackleton lost the ship Endurance when attempting to make a land crossing of the antarctic.

soon after, the ship would be crushed by the surrounding ice as it shifted, and it would sink about 10,000 feet to the sea floor.

BUT THEN

2 years ago, national geographic was able to locate the HMS endurance and found it in an incredibly well preserved state!

the leader of the expedition, Mensun Bound, said "This is by far the finest wooden shipwreck I have ever seen. It is upright, well proud of the seabed, intact, and in a brilliant state of preservation."

[commiepumpkin]

"lol jews find so many loopholes in their own religion they must hate being jewish" damn just say you're uncreative and have never examined your own religious texts further than the exact words written down on the paper. just say you take everything at face value and you never enjoy reading between the lines to gain a new understanding of something. it's ok, we all see it already

[commiepumpkin]

Poison Ivy

[commiepumpkin]

(x)

[commiepumpkin]

"unalive" should just mean the opposite of undead. if undead means a dead thing thats alive, unalive shuld mean an alive things thats dead. no i dont have any examples. ☝️yet

[commiepumpkin]

A thing I love to do is telling prepper dudes that one of my disaster readiness skills is making stuffed animals. They never get it. Like, my dude, when things get very bad and we're all sharing overcrowded shelters, you're gonna want the power to comfort children. Trust me.

[commiepumpkin]

I love when fiction makes the audience feel guilty about their role as the audience. When something fucked up is treated as a joke but later it's recognised how fucked up it was and the audience feels guilty for finding it funny. When a character breaks the fourth wall to plead for help, and you can't do anything so you just watch. And you know that the characters pain isn't real, but they're begging for help and you're not helping because their suffering is entertainment for you

[commiepumpkin]

POV: your friend is an ecology major and has beef with random animals

[commiepumpkin]

Flag of the Soviet Union if it were bought to you by viewers like you

from /r/vexillologycirclejerk Top comment: Thank you

[commiepumpkin]

[commiepumpkin]

Once while I was at work a grown ass man told me "no matter how tough you act you'll never be a man, just like I'll never be a woman" and I know he MEANT like "I'm tougher than you because women are weak" but I heard it in Queer and went "Oh.... sweetheart" and he just completely recoiled it was insane