crushimaginesandsuch - Tumblr blog

[crushimaginesandsuch]

I wish there were two different flirting languages; “I wanna fuck you” and “I wanna love you”

maybe then i wouldn’t be lying in bed and missing your smile

[crushimaginesandsuch]

Enough

been a while lmao i swear i’ve been trying to keep up, but we’re in the middle of a big move and whoopsies

I’d never considered myself “boy crazy.” I mean, I had, of course, had my fair share of ill-advised and slightly obsessive crushes, but I’d never thought I crossed the line separating crazed and captivated. Two months ago however, I’d began to wonder just how accurate that was. 

C/N fell into the seat next to me, pressing his side against mine. It was a thing he did often, a way to calm himself, I knew. Though he liked to pretend it was because he had to compensate for not being able to kiss me. 

Maybe it was both. 

“Hey,” he smiled at me. A smile I fell for every time he used it. 

I kissed his cheek, widening both our grins. “Hi.” 

As the lunch table filled up with our friends and conversation lifted to matters not really concerning me, I let myself remember two months earlier. 

I had had two major “crushes”--C/N and James--both frighteningly different. For one, C/N had the whole “asshole who cares” thing going for him, while James was just an ass. Plain as that. And then there was my “type”. I’d only ever found myself interested in unbearably attractive guys, and James was possibly the most maddeningly perfect boy I’d ever laid eyes on. Warm honey hair, bright blue eyes, a smile that could end wars. And don’t get me started on his athletic build... 

C/N, though? Well, he wasn’t exactly ugly. He had a great smile, bright eyes. Tall and strong, he was just a head above me. But he wasn’t anything special, really. Completely average--in fact, some people might call him under average. At least, compared to James. 

I had no idea why I was so attracted to him and why all I ever wanted to do was sit with him. Talk to him. Be with him. The only theory I could muster up was the way he could tease me endlessly, but still cared about the smallest things that might hurt me. .  

So, when C/N asked me out one day as we were leaving school, with little hesitation I agreed. And our relationship had only grown from there.  

C/N’s hand covered mine under the table, drawing my attention up to his vivid eyes. “You okay?” he whispered to me. He was smiling, leading off of some stupid joke the others were still chuckling at, but his eyes were concerned. I could tell. 

I pushed my side closer to him, not bothering to contain my grin. “I’m great, thanks.” He squeezed my hand. 

“It’s cause I’m holding your hand, isn’t it?” C/N smirked. 

“Eh...” I shrugged and bit my lip. “No. Not at all.” 

He raised his eyebrows, feigning shock. “Wow, you don’t hold back do you?”

“Nope.” 

With a few chuckles, we both joined the group’s conversation. 

The lunch hour passed quickly, carried by light conversation and inside jokes. As I threw out my trash and prepared to walk to my next class with C/N--we were lucky to have three classes together--I felt a light hand on my shoulder. I was surprised to see the person behind me.

“Hey, Y/N.” James tucked his hands into his pockets. He wore his signature smile.

James and I had mutual friends, but he had never really sat with our group regularly enough to be considered a part of it. Pair that with my deathly fear of attractive men and you can easily imagine how awkward the following conversation went. 

“Oh, hey.” 

My feelings for James had disappeared after just my first date with C/N, but it was still oddly exciting talking to him. He was, after all, the closest our small town had to a local legend.

But truthfully, I hadn’t had a thought about him in weeks. 

“How have you been?”

“Good...” I paused. “You?”

“Great. The season’s going amazing.” 

I offered him a small smile, nodding. “Great.” 

“Yeah.” 

Why did he come up to me? It wasn’t like we had some unresolved conflict or any past that might warrant this. So why? 

“So I’ll see you soon, yeah?” He offered with a shrug. 

“Um, yeah.” I suppressed a chuckle at how awkward the interaction had been as James walked away and as I joined my boyfriend back at our lunch table, I knew I was happy how those two crushes had turned out.

---

Two weeks had passed, and James had formed a pattern of coming up to me just as I was cleaning up my spot at the table. Our conversation, though still shallow as hell, had fallen into a comfortable rhythm and I had come to enjoy the small chat we made by the trash can in the school cafeteria. 

C/N hadn’t mentioned anything about it to me, but he had begun waiting for me at a table closer to us. And I caught him glaring at James a few times, but every time I brought it up he’d smile, shake his head, and promise me it was nothing. 

So one day, when James had been especially friendly, even bordering flirting--though I quickly shut him down--and went in for a hug after the conversation ended, C/N was right there to grab my arm and lead me away. 

“Sorry, man, we gotta go.” C/N said, his forced smile nearing a sneer pointed in the other boy’s direction. He brought us into the hallway outside of the cafeteria, into a solitary corner. 

“C/N!” I almost laughed at how ridiculous he was being. “It’s fine, calm down.” 

He let go of my arm, not that he had been gripping it tightly, and ran a hand through his hair. “He was making a pass at you, Y/N.” 

“I know.” He shot me an annoyed look. “But I wasn’t reciprocating it!” 

“Do you think that matters to him?” C/N threw his hands up in the air, almost frantic. “All he cares is that you let him do it.”

“I let him do it?” I scoffed. “C/N, I never ‘let’ him do anything. He was flirting with me, I didn’t flirt back. However he takes that is out of my control, but I didn’t give him anything to say it was okay.” 

He stared at me, silent for a moment. “So don’t get mad at me when I tell him it isn’t.”

---

C/N and I didn’t talk much for the rest of the day. We’d decided as we walked to class that it was just a fight and nothing to let come between us. And though we both agreed, we were still a little annoyed with each other. 

But as we were walking out of the school in silence and James came running up to me I knew there was more to come of the topic. 

“Hey, Y/N,” he smiled at me, “C/N.” The two exchanged curt nods. 

“Hi, James.” I offered a small smile. 

“So,” James stepped forward. Closer to me than I liked. “do you need a ride home?” 

“No. She doesn’t.” 

James rocked back on his heels. He shot a glare at C/N. “And why don’t you let her answer for herself?” He bit his lip as he turned back to me. “Y/N?”

I shook my head. “C/N’s going to take me home.” 

He smirked. “You don’t have to go with him though, babe. I’m sure I’m much more fun.” More fun? Oh my God how sleazy was this boy? 

C/N took a step forward, nearly coming in front of me. But I stopped him before he could. “Actually,” I glared up at James, much shorter than him but hoping my stare was at least somewhat intimidating. “I’m pretty sure you’re not. So if you could leave us both alone from now on, that’d be great.”

James frowned, his lips turning into a snarl. “You weren’t that hot anyways. Too fat.” 

I rolled my eyes, grabbed C/N’s hand--his hand that was about to slug James in the face-- and walked us to his car. Once we were both seated and the heat running, C/N turned to me. “I’m sorry.” 

I grabbed his hand. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have been as nice if I knew why he was talking to me.” 

He shook his head. “No, no. It’s not your fault. I should have trusted you could take care of it. I mean that out there was...”  He chuckled, shaking his head. 

I smiled and squeezed his hand. “It’s okay. I’m sure if there was a girl trying to jump your bones I’d be pretty worried too.” 

C/N shook his head. “No, you would have trusted me. I should have trusted you. I just got scared.” 

Scared? “Of what?”

He sighed. “It’s not a big thing, okay? We don’t need to talk about it.” 

I shifted forward in my seat. I was nearly sitting on the center console of C/N’s car, my face close to his. “I want to, though.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to”--

“C/N!” I laughed, grabbing both his hands in mine. “If you apologize one more time for opening up to me I will kill you. And then I’ll never know what you’re scared of.” I paused. “Plus I’ll probably end up in jail which would be unfortunate.” 

He rolled his eyes teasingly. “I hate you.” 

With a soft smile I brought his face to turn to mine. “What’s wrong?”

“Look...” he pulled his hands away from mine, running one through his hair. “I know I’m not the most attractive guy”--

I frowned. “C/N”--

“Y/N, if you don’t shut up I’ll have to kill you.” He smiled at me, endearing and oh-so-captivating. 

“Fine. But know that I find you intoxicating so shut the hell up.” 

C/N chuckled and grabbed one of my hands. His thumb traced patterns in my palm absentmindedly. “There are guys more attractive, funnier, kinder, and just better than me in every way. And James is one of those guys. In fact, there are plenty of those guys at this school which is just annoying.” He chuckled again, but quickly sobered up. His eyes were focused on our hands. He was afraid to meet my gaze. “I... I guess I was afraid that you would see James was interested in you and...” C/N’s eyes flicked up to mine. His face was beet red, and he looked so small in this moment. “realize you could have him instead. Have anyone instead.”

It was at that moment I shook my head, unlocked my car door and walked out. 

“Y/N? What are you”--

I marched over to C/N’s door and threw it open. I climbed inside, straddling his waist as I sat. Throwing my arms around his neck, I pulled him close to me. 

“You, C/N, are not a placeholder for me. I’m not with you because I’m waiting for someone ‘better’ to come around or because I’m bored. I’m with you because you make me happy.” 

“Y/N, seriously. You don’t have to do this.” C/N’s eyes looked red, as if he might cry. I personally was nearing tears.  

“I want to.” I sighed. “The truth, C/N? James is attractive. There was a time before we got together I was interested in him. In fact, if he gave me half this much attention three months ago I’d probably be a ‘wooed’ mess lying on the floor.

“But that didn’t happen. He didn’t notice me. And I couldn’t give a crap if he does now. Because two months ago, you asked me out. And may I tell you I’d had a thing for you for a while too, so don’t go thinking this” I swung a finger between us “started because I was bored. We’re together now because you make me laugh and you can make fun of me when I’m being stupid and can tease me while still loving me. We’re together because I love you and if you were to leave me, I’d be a mess. I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to. And that’s the end of my ‘you’re great’ rant so shut the hell up and fricking kiss me.” 

C/N didn’t hesitate to crush my lips with his. We’d kissed many times, but this was different. We’d never had so much passion, so much tension waiting to be cut.

When we’d decided air might be essential to our survival, we finally broke apart. 

“I love you so fucking much,” C/N whispered against my lips. 

“You better,” I chuckled against his. 

--

Not my best work but I think the ending’s cute so 

[crushimaginesandsuch]

“Everytime you look me in the eyes, My heart stops”

- oh gosh

10.9.18

11:50 am

[crushimaginesandsuch]

[crushimaginesandsuch]

I’m completely in love with you

[crushimaginesandsuch]

#13-Domestic

Welp I’m incredibly intelligent, and lost the request for this one, but basically they wanted one with drabble 8, so here we go! Just a note, it kinda evolved as I was writing so be warned lol. I hope you enjoy this one!! ❤

Prompt-You’re seriously like a man-child. 

“Babe, can you get me some more tea?” C/N grabbed my hand, his thumb grazing my knuckles. 

I raised an eyebrow. “Did something happen to your legs?” I bit back a giggle when he huffed. 

“You’re so mean to me. I mean here I am--on my deathbed and” --

“Woah, woah, wait. Deathbed?” I smirked and ran a hand through his hair. “Your fever broke like two days ago, bud.” 

C/N frowned, dropping his head back against the pillow. We were in his bedroom, and when I’d come to the house at the beginning of the weekend my stomach had turned at the thought of living with him for a whole four days. After all, we’d only been going out for a month--I’d barely spent the night at his place let alone set up tent. 

Now, however, I found myself more at home here than in my own bed. A problem I was ignoring for the time being. It seemed even running a high fever C/N was as charming and welcoming as ever--maybe more so--and I fell into step perfectly. 

I just hoped it wouldn’t be too hard to leave.

I shifted closer to his body under the covers. Given how recent he’d been ill, I knew I wasn’t exactly being smart. But he was so intoxicating... I pressed my head against his shoulder with a small smile. 

“Fine,” C/N turned so that he could see me, our faces nearly touching. I could feel his breath against my cheek. “so maybe I’m not exactly ‘sick’, but can you blame? You make a mean cup of tea.” He winked at me cheekily.

I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t stop my grin. “You told me the last cup I made you tasted like a pig’s bathwater.”

He blushed. “Well maybe I don’t wanna get up then.” C/N grabbed my hands, playing with my fingers. “But you know what?”

“What?” I somehow managed to press myself closer to him. Our noses bumped and he smiled. He floated a light kiss on my cheek.

“I want you to move in with me.”

My prior need to be as close as I could to C/N suddenly left me and I reared back. “What?”

His lips had fallen into a tight frown as he watched my drop his hands. “Nevermind, forget I said anything.” He shook his head and closed his eyes tight, sinking down into his covers. He pulled them just below his chin.

Oh, crap. “Wait, C/N. I was just...” I struggled to find even the most basic description for how I had felt. “Shocked, okay? I mean... this is really quick.”

He nodded. “I know, I’m sorry. Just forget I said anything.” C/N smiled at me. Forced and tight.

“No, we should talk about this.”

“Y/N, just drop it, please.”

I sighed, leaning back in the bed. The six inches between us felt like a gaping chasm compared to how close we’d been just moments before. Before I’d ruined everything.

I hadn’t meant to react so negatively. I was shocked, that was it. After all, what halfway sane person would be expecting their boyfriend of a month to ask them to move in?

Of course, our relationship had never progressed traditionally. It seemed our timing was more comedic than meant to be, and yet we’d built a strong bond. Hell, the first thing I’d ever said to him was “wanna get a drink?” So how crazy was it that C/N had asked if I would move in? Especially after the weekend we had?

He was still huddled beside me, avoiding my gaze. His fingers played with the knots in the crocheted blanket. It was bittersweet watching him. When stressed or worried he’d always find something to do with his hands. I’d always found it adorable, but all I could do now was frown that I was the one causing him that worry.

“C/N?”

His fingers slowed and he turned to me. “Yeah?”

“Were you serious?”

C/N opened his mouth, leaning forward as if to say something but then paused. With a sigh, he fell back against the bed. His eyes were fixed on the fan swinging above the bed. “I’m not gonna lie to you... I was.”

I smiled lightly. “You know, this whole weekend was very domestic.” He shifted nervously next to me, casting me a confused and dubious look. “I’ve actually become more comfortable here than I probably should.”

He sighed again, louder. He was already done with my tiptoeing around the subject. It was clear. “What are you trying to say, Y/N?”

“I don’t think it’d be the worst idea for me to at least... oh, I don’t know... commandeer a drawer?”

C/N sat up straight and leaned in closed to me. He wore a small hopeful smile. “What the hell?” He teased.

“Well,” I matched his playful smile, though everything I said was serious. “Maybe I don’t move in completely just yet. I’ll sleep over when fitting, but I’ll have things here. Clothes, toothbrush, hair brush, towels” —

He laughed, grabbing my hand and cutting me off. “That sounds perfect.”

I smiled and pressed a hard kiss against his lips. We moved against each other and fought for dominance until we pulled apart, gasping. I’d crawled atop his lap and he held my waist tight.

“Are we crazy?” C/N whispered against me.

“Most definitely.” I answered back with a soft kiss to his neck.

He fell back into the bed, and I fell on top of him. My head lay over his heart and our arms encircled each other.

“So, part-time roomie,” he pressed a short kiss to my head, “would you like to go get me a cup of tea?”

I sat up straight turning to him. “What?” I scoffed. “Use your perfectly good legs.”

He frowned, whining. “I hate you!”

“You are seriously a man-child.” I giggled.

“Lies!” C/N screamed before pulling me back down to his chest and trapping me with his arms. “You’re the child here—refusing to take care of me.”

I rolled my eyes again, grinning from ear to ear. “I hate you so much.

A lingering kiss tickling just behind my ear answered me. “I love you too.”

Also, it is completely confirmed that Y/N gets sick and C/N nurses her back but we’ll just have to wait for that now won’t we. 😉

[crushimaginesandsuch]

I can’t compare anything with you. Not even the moon. Not even the stars in the sky. Not even the sunset. You’re something big in between, which makes everything else seem like nothing.

Meins.

[crushimaginesandsuch]

[crushimaginesandsuch]

oh man

“I bet you smell good…”

- Oops 0_o

9.18.18

2:31 pm

[crushimaginesandsuch]

[crushimaginesandsuch]

Drabble Challenge!

Repost this. Followers/Readers send numbers to your Ask. You write a fic/drabble using that line in your piece. Have fun! Expect a ton of requests!! 

“That’s starting to get annoying”

“Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”

“You can’t just sit there all day.”

“I’m too sober for this.”

“I’m not here to make friends.”

“I need a place to stay.”

“Well, that’s tragic.”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!”

“The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

“Dear Diary, …”

“She’s hiding behind the sofa.”

“I lost our baby.”

“They’re so cute when they’re asleep.”

“I’d kill for a coffee…literally.”

“You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”

“Good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

“What’s the matter, sweetie?”

“You’re Satan.”

“I don’t want to hear your excuse. You can’t just give me wet-willies.”

“I’m bulletproof…but please, don’t shoot me.”

“Did you just hiss at me?”

“Do you really need all that candy?”

“It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”

“I swear, I’m not crazy!!!”

“The diamond in your engagement ring is fake.”

“No. Regrets.”

“How drunk was I?”

“How is my wife more badass than me?”

“Be you. No one else can.”

“I haven’t slept in ages.”

“I locked the keys in the car.”

“Are you sure that’s the decision you want to make?”

“You work for me. You are my slave.”

“Take your medicine.”

“They’re monsters.”

“Welcome to fatherhood.”

“Why can’t you appreciate my sense of humor?”

“It’s your turn to make dinner.”

“The kids, they ambushed me.”

“Sorry isn’t going to help when I kick your ass!!!”

“Stop being so cute.”

“I feel like I can’t breathe.”

“You need to see a doctor.”

“You’re getting a vasectomy. That’s final.”

“I was a joke, baby. I swear.”

“Dogs don’t wear clothes!”

“I didn’t think you could get any less romantic…”

“Safety first. What are you? FIVE?”

“This is girl talk, so leave.”

“Where am I going? Crazy. Wanna come?”

“There’s a herd of them!”

“Do you think I’m scared of a woman?”

“They’re not your kids, back the f*ck off.”

“You’re a nerd.”

“I’m late.”

“Just get home as soon as possible, okay?!”

“You smell like a wet dog.”

“I could punch you right now.”

“Are you going to talk to me?”

“Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”

“If you can’t sleep…we could have sex?”

“Flea markets don’t carry fleas, you know?”

“Here, take my blanket.”

“I don’t want you to stop.”

“How could I ever forget about you?”

“You’re bleeding all over my carpet.”

“Run for it!”

“We need to talk.”

“Not everyone is out to get you. Stop thinking that. It’s annoying.”

“I want a pet.”

“Just smile, I really need to see you smile right now.”

“I’m not wearing a dress.”

“I’m not wearing a tie.”

“Quit beating me up!”

“Please put your penis away.”

“It’s a Texas thing.”

“Don’t argue. Just do it.”

“I hope I’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”

“Does he know about the baby?”

“Hold still.”

“I just ironed these pants!”

“Enough with the sass!”

“Show me what’s behind your back.”

“I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor.”

“Fine, don’t say anything and make me worry.”

“Stay awake.”

“STOP INTERRUPTING ME!”

“You’re not interested, are you?”

“I’m not buying ikea furniture again.”

“Tell me you need me.”

“Oh honey, I’d never be jealous of you.”

“I’m telling you. I’m haunted.”

“I had a bad dream again.”

“Have I mentioned, I fucking hate Halloween.”

“It’s Christmas, don’t be mad at me.”

“You’re not going to starve yourself on Thanksgiving.”

“The store ran out of Easter eggs.”

“How could you forget your son’s birthday?”

“You can only suffer through my whining for so long until you get up and make me a sandwich.”

Visit @prompt-bank for more prompts!!

[crushimaginesandsuch]

[crushimaginesandsuch]

Me trying to flirt

[crushimaginesandsuch]

#13-These Four Years

Request: OMGG could u make a dad!Calum where he had a girl with the reader at 19 and now the little girl is 4, and when they go to tuck her in after he came back from tour and had a day of fun they just realize that their lives would never have been the same without their angel. So there's like flashbacks of when (Y/N) told Cal she was expecting, to the struggles of him being on tour while having a little girl on the other side of the world, the stress of being so young and expecting a child.

Okay I’m in love with this request... like just imagine your crush and your daughter and aGH. But that’s all I’ll say on THAT 😂 just a note-if you have fandom specific requests I still take those! Some things will be generalized (names, specific plot point from tv shows) but character’s status (celebrity, occupation ya know) and the request setting, etc. won’t change. :) request away!!

People always talked about how hard it must be to be a celebrity. How little privacy you had, how you couldn’t lead a normal life. But not once in the 17 years leading up to meeting C/N had I heard how excruciatingly painful it was to date one, however. Let alone raise a child with the man you love halfway across the world.

I sighed as I spread the blanket across my lap. Lia was in her room, choosing the book she wanted me to read to her tonight. The moment of silence was wonderful, but brief.

“Good Night book!” My daughter giggled as she climbed onto the couch next to me. I smiled at her, pulling her into my side.

As I began to read, I let my mind wander. It had been six months since we’d seen C/N last. Sure—we’d FaceTimed a few times a week, and every day Lia and I called him, but it was hard on both of us.

Management had refused to fly C/N out twice a month or for special occasions and parties, and Lia and I hated flying. It was just too much to handle, so we remained content with video chats and texting, lucky for the contact we had.

When your daughter’s father and the love of your life is in an internationally-adored band, you have to take what you can get.

Tonight, however, was one of those nights I felt like screaming for help. Between my job, caring for Lia, and taking care of the house, exhaustion had overcome my body. Emotionally and physically—I was drained.

“Mommy, what’s wrong?” Lia frowned, staring at me.

“Hm?” I blinked, turning to her.

“You stopped reading.”

I sighed, with a shake of my head, apologized and began the book again.

“Good night bed, good night stars. Good night chair and good night” —

“Bed time already?”

My heart stopped, and slowly I turned around. There, in the doorway, stood C/N. He looked groggy, tired from a long trip, but a light smile played across his face.

“Daddy!” Lia screamed, jumping from the couch and into his arms.

“My beauty! Look at you, you got so big!” He whispered into the top of her head. He held her up, wrapping his arms around her small body.

Tears sprung to my eyes and I didn’t bother to wipe them away before rushing to hold my family.

C/N met my eyes and he was smiling so wide. I mirrored his grin and shut my eyes, burying my head in his shoulder.

We held each other for so long, but when Lia let out a low yawn, we separated.

“Guess it is bed time, huh beautiful?” He smoothed back her hair.

“No, I’m not tired.” She whined. With a wink, C/N tossed me a smile.

“Well, I am, baby. So maybe we should all go to bed?” I asked, rubbing her back. I yawned wide to really sell it.

Lia rubbed her eyes slowly. “Okay, Mommy.”

Within a matter of minutes, our girl was passed out in her bed and we had moved to our own room. I lay on C/N’s chest, hands wrapped tight around his waist.

He was rubbing my back under my shirt. His lips moved against my ear and though I couldn’t hear him, I could feel him mouthing words against my ear.

“I love you,” I whispered into his chest. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Me too, love.” He pressed a slow kiss to my lips. Like a ghost, his lips moved over mine with a concentrated pressure. He loved me—that kiss told me everything I’d ever needed to know.

It quickly became more heated, and the gentleness faded into urgency. Mad and desperate. As if he might die if he wasn’t touching me. His hands moved from my back to my waist pulling us as close as possible.

We hadn’t been like this in so long... with burning desire I pushed back, matching his strength.

His lips moved down my jaw, to my neck, to my shoulder, to my collarbone and—

A loud yawn rippled through my body, pulling me apart from him. Oh god. Here we were—finally alone with C/N and able to love him, and I was too overworked to do so.

“Tired, babe?” He raised an eyebrow, chuckling.

I frowned and pressed my face into his chest. “I’m so sorry, I just”—

“Hey, hey,” he lifted my chin up to meet his eyes. He smiled lightly, “there’s no need to apologize. You have a right to be tired. You’re working, raising Lia without me...” His smile fell into a frown as he sat there, thinking.

“What’s wrong?” I whisper as his eyes narrow. He looked in pain, as if he felt guilty.

“I’m not here for her. I’ve never been here for her.”

I could almost cry at the way his face scrunched together. He ran a hand through his hair, and my heart broke for him.

I had felt so horrible when I missed Lia’s first steps while my mom was watching her. I was tired, done with watching a young kid. I’d asked my mom to watch her—just for a night—and I’m missed her first independent steps...

But C/N had missed more than just her first steps or her first word. He missed getting to live with her and watch her personality grow. He missed her first day of preschool. God, he even missed the first time we got to see her...

I’d been sick for weeks. C/N had just left for another tour and I assumed it was my reaction to missing him. He’d only been home for a month before a press tour launched, boasting the band’s new documentary. Needless to say, we did it like rabbits for the short time he was here.

I was proud of him, but sad to see him go. And that was why I was so sick. I missed him. There was no other possibility.

But as I stood in the convenience store aisle, just paces away from the pregnancy tests, I wondered if maybe there could be another reality...

Superstar C/N’s girlfriend couldn’t be seen in public buying such things, however, so I settled with my bar of chocolate and cheesy romance novel.

Later that night, though, when my best friend stopped by with my pizza and tests, I’d learn life without C/N was about to get much, much worse.

A week later, I found myself at a free clinic, watching as our baby shifted inside of me on a monitor.

I’d cried for joy confirming I was in fact carrying his baby, but as I realized what this meant for us—I couldn’t help but let a few solemn tears go. He couldn’t be there for the bulk of my pregnancy, nor most of our child’s life.

And what if he wanted me to end the pregnancy? Watching the tiny figure move on the screen, I knew I couldn’t do that.

“Sh, sh.” I traced his jaw with a light finger. “Don’t say that.”

“No, Y/N.” He sat up, gently pushing me off of him. “I’m supposed to be her father. Instead I’m... I’m like some uncle that comes into town, gives her a gift, then takes off again.” C/N ran a hand through his hair. “God, and-and then I leave you to raise her on your own.” He met my eyes for just a second before dropping them back to his lap.

C/N had always had a habit of getting caught in his thoughts. The problem with that? It was only when he was hurt or guilty. I knew he was drowning in lies right now—about how he wasn’t enough, how he was somehow hurting our daughter. That he was selfish—not ready for this. He narrowed his eyes as he focused on the pattern of our comforter, whispering silent words to himself.

“Baby, look at me.” He didn’t move his gaze. His lips, however, had stalled to a rest. “C/N look at me.”

This time, he followed. His eyes were watery and his voice trembled as he whispered a soft apology.

“Don’t apologize.” I grabbed his hand in mine and stroked small circles in his palm. His tension faded, but I knew he needed more. “Do you know how much that little girl loves you? How much I love you?”

C/N shook his head. “That’s not the”—

“No, it is the point. Baby, we love you. So, so much. And it hurts to see you think you’re not doing enough for us. You provide for us, you make the time for us out of your busy schedule, you beg your managers to come home and surprise us for God’s sake!” I chuckled a little but he dropped his eyes again. With a sigh, I continued. “Do you remember when I told you about Lia? What you told me?”

It was two days after I’d visited the doctor, and I paced around my bed. On top lay my phone. The phone I was about to use to tell C/N about our child. The child we hadn’t planned. The child he might not want.

Piece of cake, right?

With a sigh, I fell back against the pillows and tried to massage away the migraine pressing against my skull. To the chagrin of my splitting head, my phone rang. And to add insult to injury, C/N was the one calling.

“Hello?” I mumbled into the phone.

“Y/N, hey!” My boyfriend answered. I could hear the smile in his voice, and it was enough to lift my spirits. Until I remembered how somber the conversation was about to turn.

I shifted to sit up against my headboard. “Why’d you call?”

Pause. “I missed you... is that all right? I know it’s kinda late over there, but we’ve been non-stop recently. I’m sorry, if it’s”—

“No, no you’re fine.” I cleared my throat and desperately tried to prepare myself for what was to come. “Look, C/N we need to talk.”

“Okay, babe. Anything.”

His voice had changed so drastically from when I’d picked up, and I wanted to do anything to change his mood. But I had to tell him about the baby. Whether it made him happy or not.

“I’ve been sick recently, and”—

“You’re sick? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

I suppressed a pleased smile at how much he cared. “Well, I thought it was just a stomach bug, but it’s something more than that”—

C/N interrupted me again. “Babe, do you need me to come home? Because I’ll pull some strings, whatever it takes, Okay?”

“Will you please let me speak?” I chuckled.

“Sorry.”

“Thank you,” I sighed, “C/N, I’m pregnant.”

There was no sound coming through the line, and I’d thought he had hung up. My breathing grew heavier as I pulled the phone from my ear. I couldn’t believe he would do this to me.

“You’re pregnant?”

I pulled my phone back to my ear, frantic. “Yes,” I breathed out.

“Oh my god angel, that’s amazing!”

It took a moment for me to process what I’d just heard. “What?”

“We’re gonna be parents.”

Again I could practically see C/N’s wide smile. Almost feel him hugging me.

Tears budded my eyes but I didn’t bother wiping them away. For the first time since I’d seen the sonogram, I was crying because I was happy. “Yeah. We’re gonna be parents.”

“You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now.”

I laughed. “Me too.”

We sat for a while, just laughing and crying. Of all the ways this could have turned out, I had tried to avoid dreaming of C/N being happy and excited for the baby. But now I knew how stupid that was.

He and I loved each other. We’d already made plans for our future, when he would take a break from the band and focus on building our life together.

This baby was just a little early, but nothing could keep us from loving it.

“Y/N?” C/N asked towards the end of the call.

I yawned. “Yeah?”

“I have a promise for you.”

He’d sombered up—not sad or angry or frustrated, but he spoke with more precise words. Whatever he was about to say, he did not take lightly. “I promise to love you and our child—and all future children—as much as one person can. No matter where I am or what’s going on, I’ll make time for my family. If I’m on tour, I will quite literally take a break from a concert to read a bedtime story to our baby.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s a little extreme, babe.”

But C/N didn’t chuckle. “Not for my family, it isn’t.”

C/N nodded. “I remember that night.” A faint smile spread across his face. “The boys were so happy after I told them.”

“You promised me that you would do anything for us. And guess what, you have.” I brushed a stray tear from his cheek. He leaned into my touch for just a second, but then pulled back with a sigh.

“No, I haven’t. God, it was a struggle just to get management to let me come for a weekend.”

“But you still came, C/N. That’s the point. You’re doing everything you can to balance your dream and your family. I could never ask for more.”

“That’s the thing, Y/N. You two are my dream.” And C/N pressed a light kiss to my lips before pulling away. “But let’s just sleep now, okay? I’ll make a call tomorrow morning. Maybe I can work something better out.”

And with another kiss, we fell asleep together.

[crushimaginesandsuch]

[crushimaginesandsuch]

[crushimaginesandsuch]

#12 Dogfight Pt 2

Ooooh part 2? Yup yup yup

what is an authors note but yet another chance to embarrass myself online 🤗🤗🤗

For part 1, click here

I hated John. Every fiber in my being burned. How could he do that? And not just to me, but every girl at that party.

What kind of person would throw a party to shame girls for how they look? And how was nearly every boy at my school that kind of person?

But as pissed as I was at John and his gang, nothing had hurt me as much as C/N’s part in all this.

I’d always thought he was a nice guy. At least, he seemed to be. He was like the loveable-boy-next-door. Popular, funny, kind.

But now I knew. Now I knew everything I’d thought I’d known was just for show.

God, I was so stupid! I’d never said more than two words to the guy, but here I was crying because he ended up a dick.

I squished myself further into my bed, quickly wiping the large tears off my cheek. It had began to drizzle as I walked home and my previously-curled hair lay limp and frizzy on my pillow. With a groan, I rolled onto my stomach.

I wish I’d never gone to that stupid party. I wish I’d never tried to move on from C/N with John. I wish I’d never met C/N at all.

I woke up to a light knock against my door. Groggy, I mumbled for the knocker to leave. I didn’t want to face my parents like this.

“Y/N?”

I knew exactly who it was—I could, of course, pick his voice out of a lineup. I nearly sprang out of bed. Once half-asleep, the realization that C/N was standing at my bedroom door might as well have been several shots of espresso.

Part of me fluttered that he had come to talk to me. I mean, he would have had to ask around to learn my address. He must have cared just a little... But I quickly scolded myself. He was just like John. He was just as horrible and disgusting as every other guy at that party. He didn’t deserve my forgiveness or my feelings—no matter how hard it was to get rid of them.

I glanced at myself in the mirror, cursing that my makeup had rubbed around my face and my hair had dried in tangled. Now I’d reassure him I belonged at that party.

With a sigh, I opened the door slightly. Just enough to see a soaking wet C/N standing in my hallway. I guess the rain had picked up, then.

“What do you want?” My throat was dry, my voice hoarse. I cleared it quickly and wished I’d had any ounce of dignity to bring out.

C/N was frowning. He glanced at the ground and bit the inside of his cheek. Hard. Wincing, he looked back up at me.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

I shook my head. It took that much time to prepare to give the most basic sentiment and apology? “You should go, C/N.”

“No, please.” He walked forward and into my room, shutting the door lightly. His voice was soft as he spoke. “What they did—I did—was horrible. I... I don’t know why I didn’t stop it, okay? But you have to know you didn’t deserve that. You’re so beautiful, Y/N.”

I didn’t let myself process what he said. I couldn’t. “So what you’re saying is that every other girl brought to that party deserved it?” I felt a sharp pain in my palm—my hands were clenched so tight I’d nearly broken skin with my fingernails. I released the fist, regaining my composure. “Because coming here and complimenting me doesn’t make you any less of a douche than you proved yourself to be.”

C/N shook his head furiously. “No, no of course they didn’t deserve it. God, Y/N, no one could deserve to be mocked like that. I just... I was a coward. I couldn’t stand up to John and the guys and I know I was wrong. Even if I didn’t bring a girl, I was there. I was there and I let the party go as planned.

“But I knew I needed to do something, you know that, right? I tried to stop it. And yeah, I was too late because I’d been so afraid... but I just...”

During his speech, he’d sat on my bed and as he struggled to speak he dropped his face into his hands. Taking a moment, he looked up at me.

“I’m so sorry. I know I was wrong, and I will do anything to fix it—for any of the girls. But...” he paused, sighing, “I care about you... a lot. I don’t want you to hate me.”

I watched as his eyes wandered to the floor. He seemed to be waiting for me to say something. I didn’t. He shook his head shortly, to himself, and stood up.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” And then he walked out the door.

I stood there, staring at the place he’d sat just minutes before. He’d come to apologize. He knew what he did was wrong. He was going to take responsibility for it...

I rushed out of my room, out of my house, and to the front of my driveway.

“C/N!” I shouted to him. He was walking away, just at the end of my street.

He turned, saw me, and jogged back to me. He looked almost hopeful, but when he realized I was still frowning, his face dropped again.

“Did you help plan the party?” I whispered to him, my eyes focusing on his chest. I couldn’t meet his gaze.

“No. I didn’t.”

“And...” I risked a glance up to him. He was closer than I’d thought—his face almost touching mine. I swallowed the gasp caught in my throat. “And you’ll never do anything like it again because you’re sorry.”

He nodded, vigorous. “Of course.”

I mirrored his nod. “Okay.”

“Do you...” he glanced at the ground before turning back to me. “Do you think I could kiss you?”

I couldn’t speak, but nodded once quickly.

And so he kissed me. Multiple times, starting soft and growing stronger with each break for breath.

“I promise to never let you be hurt again,” he whispered against my lips.

I kissed him hard.

Okay, I know it took a LOOOOOOOONG time for this to come out and I’m sorry. There was a lot going on this week and oof