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#a badass

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You think you're the only person with emotions but really you're just a lonely mirror

whoever did this needs to get

a raise

fired

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the pope, or as i like to call him, the hokage of the catholic church

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I realize the last thing we need is another adaptation of Jane Eyre

…but imagine if every time Jane addressed the “reader,” she instead broke the fourth wall and spoke to the viewer.

Rochester:  Jane, you look blooming and smiling, and pretty, truly pretty this morning. Is this my pale little elf? Is this my mustard-seed? This little sunny-faced girl with the dimpled cheek and rosy lips; the satin-smooth hazel hair, and the radiant hazel eyes?

Jane: *Looks at the screen with a sigh of exasperation*   My eyes are green.

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Credit: @lordchung

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someone said ‘the version of me you created in your mind is not my responsibility’ and wow

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everyone who writes their ‘7’s with a little dash through them had a conscious moment of truth where they actively chose to write ‘7’ in that way and never stopped doing it like if you can’t clearly recall that fateful decision wyd

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Isn’t this that angel guy from Good Omens?

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Goldeen Goldeen Goldeen Gol-deeeen!  I’m begging of you please don’t take my man 

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A list of songs that every Italian speaker knows but are weird to explain to foreigners

(because a genius made a tweet about this and it was so brilliant that I need to do something similar on tumblr)

the one where America is a metaphor for masturbation [x]

the one about Sundays being boring and useless [x]

the one where somebody killed spiderman and it might have been the coffee industry [x]

the one where happiness is a glass of wine and a sandwich [x]

the one about a vespa scooter [x]

the one where the cobra isn’t a snake [x]

the one where a guy wants to go on a date with his girl but someone from her family keeps tagging along [x]

the one about bananas and raspberries [x]

the one where a guy suffers from stress, is tired and out of shape but is in a boyband [x]

the one where a lady sees a hot guy at the supermarket and tries to hit on him before he finishes his grocery shopping [x]

the one about getting a new face thanks to a perfect scalpel [x]

the one where you need to ask your mom to send you to buy milk because we need to talk [x]

the one about a man starting to consider the triangle after the lady he was supposed to sleep with brings another dude along [x]

The one where making love is beautiful but only if you do it below the latitude of the city of Trieste [x]

the really, really upbeat song about wanting razorblades to self harm [x]

the one about cicadas [x]

the one where the afternoon is too light blue and long [x]

the one where a boy form Naples likes to act like an American even if he’s born in Italy [x]

the one about a guy that wants to spend all day in the bath tube [x]

the one about poppys being tall tall tall, but you’re born a little duck and there’s nothing you can do about it [x]

the one about Gianna who had a crocodile and a doctor [x]

the one about the night before your final high school exams [x]

the really, really old one about how both black  eyes and blue eyes are pretty but we like legs more [x]

the one where until the boat goes, don’t row [x]

the one about a really cool guy that liked the beatles and rolling stones just like me but now he’s dead in Vietnam [x]

the one where life is beautiful as long as you have an umbrella [x]

the one where superhero Shpalman spreads shit on the faces of the bad guys [x]

the one about the friendzone [x]

the one about houses, books, cars, travels, newspaper sheets [x]

the one about a man being hung with a gold rope because he stole 6 deers from the king’s park selling them for money [x]

the one about chocolate ice cream, sweet and a bit salty [x]

the one about the moon knocking [x]

the one about going to dance in Apulia except “dance” is a methaphor for dying [x]

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Io e la mia pancia.

Inseparabili da trent’anni.

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