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dailyjournalsblog · 2 months
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It is not fair, completely unjust that you take up so much space in my mind. The meeting did not last enough to create such deep and meaningful memories. This is what it feels like, to be a writer and to be in love, I cannot, for one moment, just feel. Just be. This strong urge to etch these feelings on paper to remember him, to remember that I am capable of feeling, that I too can crave something. That one night, changed me forever. I haven't slept since, I haven't loved since. He was my first date, where I let myself feel so much that I crave him like an alcoholic craves drugs. I deleted him. After that night, I deleted all that he said but how do I delete what I felt. How I feel, how do I delete these intense overpowering feelings? Oh lord, how am I supposed to live after I've known the existence of such love. Oh lord, let me be. Let me get through the night and hopefully I'll get through this life.
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dailyjournalsblog · 3 months
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I want his 👣. The most content I feel is when I am near him. He isn't mine. He never is. But he feels like home this time.
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dailyjournalsblog · 5 months
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I am not gonna make it past 2023, but good luck with everything.
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dailyjournalsblog · 5 months
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There are very few things that enrage me more than realising that my secrets aren't safe. I don't believe a lot in sharing, sharing is the most intimate thing that I do. And to know that what I've told you isn't staying with you, it makes me crawl up on the inside of the mind and scratch the exact moment out with a knife when I decided to open up. I want to just stay in a corner. It hurts do bad.
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dailyjournalsblog · 5 months
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A lot of life is lost in waiting for the perfect timing, the perfect moment, or so people say, I disagree entirely. My life is not lost waiting for the ideal anything; it is simply lost waiting, and the worst part is, I do not have any idea what I am waiting for; perfection doesn't even come into play. I wonder about that moment sometimes when my "moment" will finally come. Will it be the ever fulfilment of the wait? Will it be worth the wait if my whole life is spent in waiting? What will I do after accomplishing that?
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dailyjournalsblog · 6 months
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And how do I let go of you, the one who held my heart captive for months, how do I stay alive knowing your heart could never be mine
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dailyjournalsblog · 6 months
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No one will get another part of me ever again.
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dailyjournalsblog · 6 months
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September equates sorrows every year, no matter where you are, no matter what you are up to, there is no way around September but through
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dailyjournalsblog · 7 months
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okay okay okay, I AM GOING TO GIVE THIS THING ANOTHER TRY. I mean life, I will give life another try. I will give it my all
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dailyjournalsblog · 7 months
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Do Soulmates exist?
If we are not meant to be, why do I feel it in my bones that he is the one for me, that if he wasn't the one, I wouldn't have a one, There is absolutely no reason for me to feel this connected to him, or is it that I have become so delusional that I am forcing this connection, Am I making it up?
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dailyjournalsblog · 7 months
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I am so delusional.
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dailyjournalsblog · 7 months
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He knows what we have is unexplainable, it is everything he wants to have with his partner but can never have it. I am his soulmate
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dailyjournalsblog · 7 months
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Do you know what is *not* a Virgo's strength, the ability to self-entertain? It is a curse because our default is staying alone in a room, snuggling up with our favourite drink, and watching 100 days of content in one day. And eating the most unhealthy food ever. So when we hang out with you, please remember it is not natural for us, everything we then do becomes an effort in itself.
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dailyjournalsblog · 7 months
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As an inherent secret keeper and a great listener, if there is one thing that pisses me off, it is when someone talks about me and not to me, someone just having these long discussions about myself without my knowledge. If you got something to say, talk to me, I might seem mean, but I am a great listener. This annoys me so much, because I have a lot of your secrets as well, you tell me things in confidence and I make sure it stays that way but you on the other hand you go ahead and make me feel like an utter fool.
It is like that quote you know, you would stop thinking about what others think about you when you will realise how seldom they do, but it is the exact opposite, I find out you were dissing me in front of people. That shit is annoying as hell. Now, I do not know who to trust, because people be acting double faced and shit.
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dailyjournalsblog · 7 months
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I thought of writing about you, romanticising you in every way I could, but then I decided against it. I do not want to write a poem to clarify and see the reality. I read the texts, i was drunk and I read the texts, you said you did not want me around, you said that to her, in ways more than one, how am I supposed to be around you now? you talk about my flaws with her, asking her to stay away from me, that shit is embarrassing. I am beyond humiliated for thinking we had something profound, after all you talk of the universe, your plans, death, your favourite people with me. you tell me of all the hardships in your life, you make sure I don't feel too bad, you keep it real with me, more real than I have ever seen you be you tell me of your day, you ask things of me, we are always on the same frequency, we talk and talk, we have our nicknames, we have a language built only for us, what makes you lie about all that. I do not want you, but does she need to know that as loudly.
she asked me to stop doing things for you, making you breakfast, but then I see that she asks you why I don't cook it anymore, pretending as if the conversation never happened. She tells me she is insecure, about everything, she should be, I can be someone's worst nightmare if I put my mind to it, but I have nothing to say to her Maybe you are lying to me everytime you are around me, maybe you are not yourself and it is all just pretence with me, maybe she is the one who knows the real you, but it was nice knowing I knew a part of you, no one else did. Maybe, in that sense, you two deserve each other, both lying and holding back, well, in that case, all the best.
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dailyjournalsblog · 7 months
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Well, who are you? Been overthinking about the texts I read You tell her that I mean nothing to you and come back to me to heal your soul You avoid laughing at my jokes just so she can be the funniest in the room
I see it in your eyes when they meet mine every time You talk of nothing and everything with me; I wonder if she knows about the places your mind has been You listen ever so patiently, and you talk of the world, the universe, and everything that goes in your mind We make jokes, our own We don't need to talk in sentences; we know what we are thinking about and what the one word denotes every time. We have our own nicknames, embarrassing pictures in each other's phones, I trust you with my life but we both refuse to admit it
I ignore everything, everything in sight just
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dailyjournalsblog · 7 months
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All this while, I thought that moving houses and going places would make everything better, not realising that the person I was trying to get away from was myself. How do you hide if the only person who is seeking is yourself? How do you get away from yourself, even for a little while?
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