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deadisplant · 8 hours
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dmv: can i have you birth certificate
me: i dont have it but you can trust! 😁✌️
dmv: ok! 😁✌️here is your license
me: its so small and cute! 😳
dmv: just like you! ☺️
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deadisplant · 8 hours
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deadisplant · 24 hours
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deadisplant · 24 hours
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deadisplant · 1 day
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deadisplant · 1 day
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Based off of this post and @mumblesplash's tags
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And, finally:
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deadisplant · 1 day
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2 minutes no looking at pictures of The Character
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deadisplant · 1 day
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deadisplant · 1 day
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when the essay prompt lets me get a little autistic with it
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deadisplant · 1 day
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Can't decide whether it's funnier to say "my hungry ass could never work at a" and then say something that implies you're eating something truly grotesque or something that just, makes no sense
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deadisplant · 1 day
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So I’ve been teaching 6th grade since January, and one thing about my female students which made me upset to realize is how many of them are obsessed with skincare. I've heard the girls in my class discussing the EYE CREAM they use. Like tf you mean eye cream? You're ELEVEN!!! I'm a decade older than you and have never even touched eye cream!! The most skincare a middle schooler needs is cleanser and moisturizer, maybe some acne cream. Who tf is selling you all this other stuff? Who tf told you you needed all this?
It hurts me to see. Their brains are too young for these types of insecurities 😭 no 11 year old girl should be obsessed with wrinkles, I wanna beat tf out of whatever tiktoker made them believe they needed skin that perfect
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deadisplant · 2 days
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And I lover her for that !
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deadisplant · 2 days
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someone rbing a post from me: #oh my goddd this is just like my ocs zapa and trunky
me on their blog now looking for pics of zapa and trunky:
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deadisplant · 2 days
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deadisplant · 2 days
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i keep a little poison pill in my ring just in case im captured by the enemy but i cant dry swallow so i also wear a vial of a single sip of water
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deadisplant · 2 days
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deadisplant · 2 days
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