deadmanswife - Tumblr blog

[deadmanswife]

@gonuclear

bite the vampire first to establish dominance

[deadmanswife]

*develops a crush on you. but like. evilly, of course.*

[deadmanswife]

Girl I Can Make Your Appendix Rot

[deadmanswife]

good night to people with daddy issues, girls under 5'2", those who project onto fictional characters an unhealthy amount, sexy bitches, anyone who has under $20 in their bank account, unemployed bastards, people who miss going to the library, anyone who read warriors cats books in their youth, people who identified with jack from the magic tree house series as a kid, el gee bee tees, girls with no ass, anyone who had an obsession with orlando bloom as a preteen, lipgloss wearers, and people that desperately want to get railed

[deadmanswife]

[deadmanswife]

halloween kira’s 🎃🍂

[deadmanswife]

[deadmanswife]

fuck your zodiac sign what do you call these colors

[deadmanswife]

a mug that just says “don’t talk to me until i’ve fucked your wife”

[deadmanswife]

[deadmanswife]

[deadmanswife]

Favorite line to use in an argument is “I don’t need to take this from someone who sucks toes.”

It shuts down anyone who does suck toes and completely and totally derails and confuses anyone who doesn’t.

Either way I win.

[deadmanswife]

[deadmanswife]

[edit] old Versace ad. 

[deadmanswife]

“you have nice hands” means finger me like that’s it

[deadmanswife]

Yoshikage Kira from Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure is a Bastard Man!            

Requested by @daviddoesntsucc

[deadmanswife]

Kira