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definegodliness · 20 hours
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Chasing magic
Maybe she Remembered my Birthday and had Thought of me; That would explain the dream. Nothing special, save for the fact I hadn't harbored such feelings in, Say, twenty years.
A nigh divine gratitude lingered within me. Nigh divine and all that for merely a dream, I had forgotten the feeling.
She was my first Big love, Far exceeding the concept of 'crush'; I ate and drank that girl, Which is why I couldn't eat or drink at all, And when I lay myself to bed I only closed my eyes To dream of her.
... but that was twenty years ago.
More present, I favored reminiscence; Letting ancient feelings wash over me, Trying to recall As much as I could from Just a dream, As once I would, and, so, in gratitude; A strange regression.
One vision Kept reinstating itself Within my mind's eye, Which was or would be The place where we met, or would meet, And, so, Hauntingly.
Compelled, I was, As if I had just dusted off an old compass And lived by the rule of a needle full of rust, Inexplicably spinning when it Should be locked. I gave in.
This ancient feeling Rejuvenated; once more orchestrating My every step, as every step would mean One step closer toward her.
I used to breathe That girl.
Wherever she would go, I would find her Just by following the direction Which eased my chest as a flow of oxygen. That feeling. Again.
I went.
Nothing in my hands But that compass; an educated guess, And the leash of my canine companion That I brought as an alibi of common sense. Pretense, of course, In reality I gave myself fully To a magic, lost.
I went.
I walked.
I almost raced, treading forth To the beat of a heart at chase; to a place I had seen, which might not even exist, but… Had to be real. That, I could feel.
Half an hour in, at a crossing, I stalled, gazing down a neighborhood street Which could be 'it', But the pup wanted to take a right-hand turn. I pondered whether I should let him lead a bit, But as I did my breathing stifled; My heart cramped Like a fist.
"No, that street… that neighbourhood; there!"
I knew for sure, then.
Yet, so, I peered, awaiting my heart to sink, For I gazed upon a still life street, Emptier than all I had seen; No humans, no birds, No bees.
Just me, and my sigh, abandoning a dream. Another crossing; the pup wanted to go right Again, and this time I let him.
His nose Had lead him To a park I had never seen, And I decided we would return there one day When I would not want to go home So eagerly.
We entered south, and exited east Via a winding dirt path that, Coincidentally, Connected back onto my dreamed up street.
I saw her.
I saw her where she should be.
Where I should have been, but wasn't, Nor wanted to be.
Not anymore, really.
The first sensation of a missed chance, soon Made place for the realization I would probably not have liked re-acquainting Under reality's circumstances.
She did not see me.
From a distance, I watched her walk Arm in arm with her boyfriend, Or, more probably, Husband.
And, just like that, I was thirty-seven again. Not really attuned to anything, Yet not so jaded to not be grateful For giving in.
In fact, I hadn't felt so young in ages.
The chase's dedication; the doubtlessness Of the entire universe conspiring To aid in a soul's achieving Deepest wishes.
A rejuvenation in lost magic.
What a gift.
I smiled.
It did work, didn't it?
--- 28-3-2024, M.A. Tempels ©
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definegodliness · 2 days
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So, personal update:
I've been off and on here and more off than I would like, and not nearly writing as much as I would like, but the year hasn't started out all too well for me. Had some ominous pains (3 months now) and needed a couple of scans and echoes, which took quite a long waiting time. Didn't want to give any news about it because there were a lot of troubling signals, but no facts yet. Today I was in hospital again and left 20 kilos of pure stress lighter. It's not the worst! Starting halfway May I'll get physical therapy instead of surgery or other awful stuff. Still in pain for a while though. So I'll often be more off than on than I would like, still.
Got some other trajectory going on too which really negatively affects my mental health which started this year. April 10th I should be finished with that terror show, on my part.
They're probably connected. Mens sana in corpore sano, but then the destructive version.
Anyway, despite the vague explanation I wanted to clear up these stretches of absence, and assure you that it is not disinterest!, without needlessly worrying anybody. After today I finally can. 🎉
The pain is doable. And even more doable now the added stress of something potentially horrible is gone.
Hopefully after this false start I'll be headed for a kickass summer!
Best wishes,
Mark
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definegodliness · 2 days
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happy birfday! may you be blessed with more beautiful poems and multitudes of attitude. enjoy your day! 💗
It was a lovely day 😄 , thank you very much!
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definegodliness · 3 days
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Happy Birthday! 🎉🎁 I hope this next year of life brings you joy and great adventure! Thank you for all of the poetry and sass you bring to the Tumblr party 🥳
See, guys, it's called 'sass'!
Thank you for so graciously rebranding my social dweebness. You get the last piece of cake! 🍰
(It's got extra everything because we don't waste food here in the Tempels household 😜)
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definegodliness · 3 days
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They say it's your borthday...
Happy birthday to you 🎵🎶🎵🎶📟
[Please imagine The Beatles playing along]
Onwards into the next year!🍺🍻🥂🌟✨️🎉🎉🎊✨️🎂🎂🍰
Yeah! Moaaaar cake! 🍰🍰 🥳😁
Thank you 🍻
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definegodliness · 3 days
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Tillykke med fødselsdagen!
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Vriendelijk bedankt 😜 and yay Snoopy! Guess what? Yes, cake!! 🍰🍰
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definegodliness · 3 days
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Happy happy birthday to one of my favourite poets on this site 💯 rock on!
Thanks! and, so much for your kind words as well 😀 double cake!! 🍰🍰
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definegodliness · 3 days
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Happy Birthday, wishing you the best and the bestest ✨️
Thank you the thankest then 😁😁
Mooaarr cake 🍰🥳
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definegodliness · 3 days
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Happy birthday, dude!
Thanks! 🍰🍰🥳 more cake!
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definegodliness · 3 days
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🍰🥂🥰🪄
I hope you enjoy some magic, some light, and some cake today!
Triple check ✔️ 😁
Might write about the magic at a later moment. There's cake galore! Have some, have some 🍰
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definegodliness · 3 days
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Happy Birthday Mark!
Thanks, Anon! I'll hide your cake 🍰 in the shadows of secretiveness 👻
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definegodliness · 3 days
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🎶 Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday, dear Mark, happy birthday to you! 🎶 🎂🥳💕
CAke! Cake all around 🍰
Thank youuu 🥳
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definegodliness · 3 days
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definegodliness · 3 days
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Happy Birthday!! Hope you have an amazing day!!
Thanks! You get cake, tooo 🍰🍰🍰
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definegodliness · 3 days
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Happy Birthday!!
I wish you good health, success, prosperity, many joys and happiness!
May the universe welcome your desires and dreams in this new year of life and make them a sweet reality!
Have a happy day!
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Thank you, Ros! ❤️🥳
You get cake! Cheesecake, my fav, with cherries on top 🍰🍰
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definegodliness · 5 days
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Plum blossom and some UNSB (unidentified nice smelling bush)
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definegodliness · 6 days
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Pizza topped with calamare, chocolate sauce, and peanut bits (pizza rim)
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