deliciousfoxcoffee - Tumblr blog

[deliciousfoxcoffee]

once youre on hrt every doctor and specialist be like hrmmm i dont know anything about being """trans""" but have you considered your issue is because of your testosterone usage. r u buying these hormones illegally btw? Yeah i think every problem you have is because youre a tranny taking evil hormones. we need to detransition you rn or your body will disintegrate into a fine dust

[deliciousfoxcoffee]

Insane how fast trans men talking about our issues turned into a semantics battle and "those dumb boys didn't like my insistence on how I think their words sound so now I think they're all stupid and hate them"

[deliciousfoxcoffee]

as an intersex trans wo/man, i've noticed that unfortunately it has become painfully obvious that not only do radfems and terfs try to abuse trans men into falling in line with their beliefs, but unfortunately, this happens to trans women and transfemmes as well. i've unfortunately seen several trans women fall down the the "men evil, women innocent, trans men have cis male privilege, trans men don't struggle, trans men aren't men or trans they're just confused butches," pipeline really quickly after transitioning or their eggs cracking, and it's not necessarily that transfem's fault, but rather an abusive person sweeping in to take advantage of someone who needs and wants validation in feeling like a woman. the person who put the terf ideals in their head during this crucial stage in development is to blame, it is not inherently the trans woman's fault.

vulnerable transfems and trans women become indoctrinated into these things. trans women and fems are not inherently bitter, shitty, hateful people. it's a select few who become groomed by radfems who push this belief, and push it hard, because that's what you do when youve been indoctrinated into a cult. it's not an issue inherent to trans women and transfeminism at all- it's vulnerable people being groomed. this is a serious issue of trans women and fems being groomed and brainwashed.

this is a huge deal and we have to stand up for each other, because the transfems getting groomed into this need support and help to get out of this cult. it is not okay for women who are just trying to find their footing to almost instantly get sucked up into a literal hate group. we have to help trans people who become indoctrinated into gender essentialism, antimasculism, and transandrophobia just as much as we help other trans people unlearn transmisogyny. these issues are both damaging our community on the whole.

radfems are aggressive and will try to indoctrinate anyone they can into antimasculism, transandrophobia, and gender essentialism. a lot of trans women in the early stages of transition really want to be validated as women and such, will become groomed by these groups of cis women who will gladly feed them toxic ideals like women can never be wrong, women are always innocent, men are always harmful and evil, it just benefits the radfems, not the trans woman. this behavior grooms yet another person into spreading radfeminism without realizing it. when one espouses these beliefs they become a spokesperson for radfeminism and terfism

i'm plain tired of seeing this argument, because it is nothing but gender essentialist binarist bullshit:

"transphobia is worse for trans women than trans men because of x, y, z."

its not worse. its different. but equal.

i understand that many folks have not lived the life a trans man leads, but whenever you try to speculate on what it's like, you will always be wrong, no matter what, because you weren't in that person's shoes. it's impossible to see the nitty gritty of how a specific group of people are treated unless you are that person or spend lots of time around large groups of those types of people. trans men face homelessness at a disproportionately high rate compared to other groups of queer folk. we also deal with forced detransition. we deal with being dehumanized by she/her pronouns. we deal with having lesbianism and butchness weaponized against us. we also deal with sexual violence. we also deal with physical, mental, and emotional abuse. we deal with gaslighting, lying, being robbed, abandoned, injured and killed. its virtually impossible to find support if you're a pregnant trans man.

trans men have a lot of unique struggles. this is not a comprehensive list, but rather to show you that ALL trans people struggle. we are united under the same banner of transphobic treatment. we are struggling, but we are struggling together, and we can uplift each other without tearing each other down. punching down on another trans person hurts us all.

belittling the trauma of other trans people is a form of queer infighting that terfs want you to do in order to fracture our community further. queer infighting doesn't help anyone whatsoever. trans men do not have it harder than trans women. trans women do not have it harder than trans men. amab and afab and intersex enbies don't have it worse than each other. these are all completely different and unique struggles that deserve to be acknowledged for what they are. you cannot use the same scale of severity for a totally different problem.

people love to completely gloss over the issues trans men face for the sake of believing that all men benefit from patriarchy. saying that trans men are not affected by specific kinds of transphobia is spreading the radfem belief that only women struggle under patriarchy. queer men, men of color, intersex men, gay men, bisexual men, trans men, polyamorous men, genderfluid men, bigender men, gender non conforming men, feminine men, men who crossdress, disabled men, neurodivergent men, mentally ill men, and other marginalized men suffer under patriarchy as well.

i'm not tolerating radfem gender essentialism being woven into queer ideals anymore. this behavior has to go. when you genuinely believe these things, we all lose.

[deliciousfoxcoffee]

Trans guys will literally break their ribs chest binding and still not pass just to get told by some rando on tiktok that all trans guys need to do to pass is put on an oversized flannel

[deliciousfoxcoffee]

idk I think if you see transandrophobia as an attempt to make an opposite of transmisogyny then you see men and women as inherently opposites. which is bad

[deliciousfoxcoffee]

why does a trans woman's opinion on the slur theyfab matter more than the people affected by it. why do you valuena trans woman's opinion over the people being hurt by this slur

[deliciousfoxcoffee]

Please stop projecting your weird fantasies onto trans men and transmascs.

I’m not sharing the rest of the post as there’s no point. The OP isn’t saying anything that doesn’t summarize to “I haven’t bothered to read anything trans men and transmascs are actually talking about and instead have chosen to just make assumptions about where they’re getting their rhetoric from and then act like their savior.”

But there is no “TMRA to tradwife pipeline”, but there certainly is a disturbing number of cis men, cis queer women, and trans non-men who look at trans men and transmascs and go “I can fix her!” They conjure up fantasies of turning us into their perfect little girly housewives who would never dream of being anything other than the wombyn of their dreams, and then they single out some poor trans man or transmasc who’s still early enough in his/their transition and prey on him/them. My ex did it. I’ve encountered plenty of other men and mascs who had it done to them. The constant pressure to stop transitioning at all. The “I accept you but…” lies they tell you as they try to gently but firmly shove you back into the closet and mold you into what they want, what you never signed up to be, and count yourself lucky if you can get out of there easily cause most can’t. And the people doing this know good and well no men’s shelter is going to take a trans man cause he was AFAB but no woman’s shelter will take him unless he detransitions. So they can go as far as they want.

You want trans men and transmascs to believe you care about us? Don’t poke at that wound. Don’t join our abusers and toxic exes in conjuring up fantasies about us being detransitioned housewives.

But I don’t expect the person who wrote this will care. So I blocked them and I hope they stay 6,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 kilometers away from every trans man and transmasc in the entire world until they stop fantasizing about us barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

[deliciousfoxcoffee]

Getting p sick of all these hypothetical irrationally behaving trans men with shitty opinions that lots of people love to invent to create arguments

Like I saw a post where it acted like trans men are the only kind of trans people that will sometimes take something you've said in bad faith and assume you're misgendering them or trying to say they're not really their gender

Oh gee hmm wonder why the example showed a trans man and not a trans woman, could it be because people would accurately call it out for being strangely transmisognistic if it singled out trans women but are chill when it's a trans man or 'AFAB trans person' as if that's not code for trans man to you

Like if what you mean to say is 'hey when people say these things or point out this thing what they're not saying is x, y or z so calm down a bit' then just say it you don't need to single out a group when the behaviour is not unique to them it just comes off as fucking weird and targetting

[deliciousfoxcoffee]

why do people insist on denying trans men a word to describe their own opression?? it all sounds to me like a recycled version of "women live life on easy mode". god forbid trans men talk about how they are opressed🙄🙄🙄

[deliciousfoxcoffee]

Feeling upset at people believing Julia Serano over trans men and mascs about how people respond to our manhood/masculinity. Our expressions of it are never ridiculed? You're certain? I guess all those caricatures of us I've seen as fat and balding with patchy facial and body hair and T needles sticking out of our bodies weren't real. Definitely not intended to imply our masculinity is fake and ugly.

Yes, there is a difference between how trans femininity and masculinity is treated. When people mock trans femininity, they are mocking femininity in general. When they mock trans masculinity, they are not mocking masculinity in general. But they do mock trans masculinity, because it is seen as artificial, disgusting, and offensive on our bodies. Masculinity is inherently gender non-conformity on us, and our masculine expressions themselves are in fact used as a joke. Do not ever try to tell me transmascs don't get made fun of for their masc clothing when that literally happened to me last fucking week.

[deliciousfoxcoffee]

I'm gonna be so fr the way some people on here will call other trans & intersex people transmisogynists for like. Literally just believing trans men & mascs are targeted and oppressed, or pointing out the fact intersex people often don't fit perisex binaries, has made it difficult to actually weed out real transmisogyny in queer spaces which is an actual problem.

[deliciousfoxcoffee]

its really funny how every time you see someone talking about "transandrophobia truthers" you like slightly pull back the layers and its immediately obvious they just fucking hate trans men to the point of obsession

[deliciousfoxcoffee]

TRANS WOMEN: HERE'S SOME SHIT YOUR DOCTOR WONT TELL YOU ABOUT HRT

1. Progesterone: not for everyone, but for many people it may increase sex drive and WILL make your boobs bigger. Also effects mood in ways that many find positive (but some find negative). Most doctors won’t prescribe this to you unless you ask. Most trans girls I know swear by it.

2. Injectible estrogen: is more effective than pill or patch form. Get on it if you can bear needles bc you will see more effects more quickly.

3. Estradiol Cypionate: There is currently a shortage of injectible estradiol valerate. There is no shortage of estradiol cypionate. Functionally they do the same shit.

4. Bicalutamide: This is an anti-androgen that has almost none of the side-effects of spironolactone or finasteride. The girls I know who are on it are evangelical about it.

[deliciousfoxcoffee]

Florida bans on trans care have been overturned! 🏳️‍⚧️

[deliciousfoxcoffee]

anyway. include post op trans people in your activism now

[deliciousfoxcoffee]

Ya know when people told me "when you're finally safe enough that you can leave survival mode and start to let go of and process your c-ptsd/trauma things are probably going to get really, really bad before they slowly start to get better" I thought that was reasonable. I did not understand that by "things are going to get bad" they meant "you're going to find yourself in the worst mental state of your entire life, but dw, that means it's working" and tbh I simply wish someone had been more clear.

[deliciousfoxcoffee]

"erm... voting is USELESS and in fact if you do it you're EVIL and BASICALLY A FASCIST... sorry sweaty but you're not going to bring about the revolution with a ballot... you're not a Real Leftist if you vote, you are a boot licker"

-someone whose primary form of activism is reblogging posts